A/N: Okay folks, after 49 chapters – 145,000plus words – 16,000 plus hits – 4,500 plus visitors and 512 reviews, it's finally time to wrap up this story and I think several thanks are in order so I'll kick it off like that.
Thank you to all the silent readers, thanks for taking time out of your life to read this little creative endeavor of mine. It is/was greatly appreciated.
Thanks to all the reviewers: xxMandyxx, Cyberbaby, zieky, herb88, xunderestimatedx, Lunarcycle, sandra, KTSA, YourMine.I'mYours., NASCAR, therap, VonKrapper, Lang1922, Sarah, taymm15, JMH&D, Life-Live-Love-Learn, SuperGirl06, Palexobsessed, spashley16, DreamsXReality, BrownieStick, ~me~, anonymous, sassyc, quinze85, Readforfun, magnetichurricanelove, tmacluver, LuisaHUAH, luvspashley13, insertcleveranswer(Erin!), palex 4 ever, JColaz, doubleclique, orgy123, SnowDuchess, krisana22, breadstickphonehome, The Real M. Vanichkul, Conscious, BuffyXena, naranga87, RM, wannabebo352, exist2believe, simple77, Ryoko05, Shiznuts, I'm Burnin' Up For You Baby, Sarai Nyx, SONrox, memma93, DreamCookie, IcAnTbReAtH29, McKie, awe, raspberryapplevitaminwater, tahja22, XxSonXXofXXaXBananaXx, epikkk, ..., Fumbling Toward Ecstasy, cookietme7, wxpblue, LoLo06, snrclass08, momo0424, McrFreak1991, Elly1212, ivegotsecrets2, theflannelclub, grangergirl22, Bgarduno, , 0bsessionXx, Big Fan, beautifulCYANIDE, Blaze Phoenix, P.A.M4Life, , stripper4life, iamthewalrus, sugarrush78, ilovemyself26, corky, ebonyedlove, , somthgIlike2do, sonfan92, I'.Forever, XxkoeyxX, SoNfan110, thismustbetheplace, Harley Quinn Davidson, Makiki, Jaredx03, SF4life, queenred12, ifyouarechilly, neverhappy10,MittNacht, lilce1992, Cassicio, Storylove, tigga123, Irishgrl33, TheBoondocksRox, mkylsmth, n, Brittany, theaceiscalling, kills70, nautic 187, and DaniZGE.
Super duper shout outs to, Momo The Great, arh1986, Sexyluv 07, hollymarie4, imaferrari, and slushhy because you guys constantly gave me encouraging words and stuck around for a very long time, even when I wasn't sure I was coming back. And a special thanks to dttdemon, SouthMGP91, mutt009, and Hotcuti3 for your long and numerous reviews and feedback. It truly was essential in the continuation of this story.
Oh, and one more special thank you to DatSoNfan for the best review ever that literally made me laugh out loud:
"Hey other fanfiction writers, Imma let you finish, but MGMK is one of the best fanfiction writers of ALL TIME! *Kanye shrug*"
Thanks to all of you for sticking with me through the plagiarizers and the posers, lack of creativity and energy. For sticking around since way back when I thought 'PMS' was an insult. I'm gonna miss knowing how good a chapter was based on how many words KITTYKAT puts in a review, lol.
Last but not least, thanks to my current BETA for going over these past chapters including the massive (read: insane) last one. You are braver than me, lol.
Alright guys. Here goes…something.
Oh, p.s. For those of you that are into Glee, I'm writing a fic. Check it out if you'd like. And for those of you not into Glee, shame on you. No, seriously, go sit in a corner. Just kidding, but really, you should get into it. It's made out of awesome and would I lie to you? (please do not go by my promise to have this up by the end of the weekend)
The Impossible: A Walk To Remember Reprise
At eighty-two years of age Ashley can officially say that she's lived her life with no regrets.
An only child, she'd learned to love and let herself be loved.
She'd been successful in her academics and professional career, leading the field in cancer research, specifically leukemia in children and adolescent – a career decision she'd made in her teenage years after a chance encounter in a hospital ward. This same hospital ward that would later be named after a late friend of hers.
She'd married a wonderful man and had two beautiful children.
She was never more afraid of anything else than she was of admitting her bisexuality to her mother and father. They were always close, not the closest of course, but she could honestly say she'd never hidden anything from them. But when she finally did tell them, her mother merely smiled and wrapped her up in a huge hug. Her father was a bit more enthusiastic and offered to take her to a strip club. And yeah he may have been just a tad intoxicated at the time but she'd never felt more loved it seemed.
In the end she'd loved and lost, had girlfriends and boyfriends, and then one stuck and stuck hard.
Her husband, John, was a handsome man. Strapping and suave, strong yet gentle, he was her best friend, her lover, her confidant. He took her for everything that she was, the flaws and the nuances, and found perfection in them all and one of the happiest days in her life was the day they finally said 'I do'.
There were more happy days to follow: the birth of her son, John Junior, and then her doppelganger, Amy. Both children were model replicas of their parents, all the way down to their personalities. They had their father's charm and wit and the fire of their mother's will in their hearts. The world would have a lot on its hands with those two. There were birthdays and graduations and first words and first steps, not necessarily in that order though.
And there were sad days too: funerals for her parents. They were always inexplicably together; an odd pairing to say the least even down to their professions; her being an oncologist and him being a musician. But in spite of their differences, it was very true that they loved one another. And even in death, it was certain that they'd be together because when her father left this world, her mother followed not two days after.
When John died, she'd thought it'd be the end of her. And her children did too, spending at least a month checking in on her every hour of the day but it wasn't her time.
Somehow, she knew.
There was even that one early summer day, so very many years ago, and a girl with sapphire eyes…
She'd loved John, she really had, but part of her heart – perhaps the biggest part – was somewhere in the sky, held gently in the hands of a teenage girl not meant for this world. It brought a smile to Ashley's face when she thought about how Spencer would hardly recognize her if she saw her now. She'd never gotten over the girl, kept her in her heart always. Not excluding love when it came her way, but never forgetting.
Sitting on her front porch and staring out at the sunset, she wondered just what the world had left for her and, as the images around her started to blur, she wasn't afraid.
She could almost see her, blonde hair whipping around her face in the light breeze, blue eyes brighter than the bluest ocean waters.
And she wonders if in every other universe, every Ashley is finding her Spencer.
When You Look Me In The Eyes
"Dr. Davies office," the receptionist answers distractedly, shuffling a stack of papers.
Spencer lazily twirls the cord of her office phone with her finger, barely concealing her grin. "May I speak with Dr. Davies, please?"
The receptionist huffs haughtily, rolling her eyes slightly. "May I ask who's calling?"
"Spencer Carlin," Spencer replies, even though she knows good and well that Rebecca knows exactly who the hell she is. She's only called Ashley almost every day for a month now.
"Hold please," Rebecca replies, pressing the hold button before she gets a reply. She punches in the numbers for Ashley's extension and waits a few seconds.
"Miss Carlin is on line two for you Dr. Davies," Rebecca says, inspecting her nails.
Ashley smiles and then frowns. "Call me Ashley, Rebecca. And patch her through."
"Okay, Dr. Davies."
Ashley shakes her head but smiles when her office phone rings. "Dr. Davies speaking," she answers after the second ring.
"Why, hello Doctor."
"Spencer Carlin, is that you?"
"Right you are."
"What can I do you for?"
"Um…probably a night out at Danillo's," Spencer answers, chuckling immediately after.
"Nice," Ashley acknowledges, relaxing back in her chair. "Seriously, babe, what's up?"
"Nothing…really," Spencer answers, swiveling her own office chair back and forth. "I just really wanted to hear your voice. Oh, and FYI, I think your receptionist hates me."
Ashley chuckles. "She doesn't hate you. She's just being difficult lately. I think the boyfriend messed up again."
"SO glad I don't have to deal with that."
"Don't like guys?"
"Not really, no."
Ashley's phone beeps and she sees its one of her colleagues, Dr. Collins inept self to be exact so more than likely she was going to have to cut this call short. She sighs.
"Man, Spence, I gotta go. Collins probably poked some poor patient's eye out. We're still on for dinner tonight?"
"Of course," Spencer says, sitting up straighter in her car.
"Great," Ashley smiles, still hesitant to go. "I'll pick you up at eight."
"Can't wait," Spencer grins, clicking her pen over and over again.
"Bye," Ashley says, still holding onto the phone.
"Bye," Spencer says, smiling dreamily. "I love you."
Ashley's smile freezes on her face and she's fairly certain her heart just stopped.
Spencer can't hear breathing anymore but looking at her phone she sees she's still connected. "Ashley?"
Ashley blinks a few times, just trying to breathe, and then the smile starts to bloom, slowly growing until it's splitting her face in half.
"I love you too."
Justin takes off as soon as she parks the car, not even waiting until she kills the ignition.
"C'mon Aunt Ashley!" the young boy yells, already at the swings.
Spencer's standing there, occasionally giving Mia a push as they girl half-heartedly pumps her legs.
"Hi," Ashley grins, jogging up to the duo.
"Hey," Spencer replies, tilting her head. "You guys made it."
"Yeah, almost didn't. This guy and his Spongebob," Ashley says, jerking a thumb toward her nephew.
"It was a new one," Justin protests, pumping himself like a big boy should.
Mia snickers and pumps higher, trying to keep up with the boy.
"I betcha I can go higher than you," Justin challenges, kicking his legs emphatically.
"Nuh uh," Mia tells him, swinging with vigor.
Ashley and Spencer share a smile and walk away from the kids, moving just adjacent to them to the see saws.
Spencer turns to Ashley, amusement dancing in her eyes. "When is the last time you were on one of these?" she asks, hand sliding over one of the padded seats.
"I think I was twelve. And I think Brian Harlow was banging on the other end, sending this hard plastic seat here into my chin," Ashley deadpans.
Spencer's eyes widen. "Oh my God, really?"
"Yeah," Ashley nods, raising her head. "I still have the scar, see?"
Spencer stoops down a little, instinctively reaching her fingers out to trace over the slightly discolored skin. "I see," she says softly.
Ashley's eyes meet blue and they're getting a little caught up in one another.
"You are…" Ashley stammers and then shakes her head at herself, smiling slightly.
"What?" Spencer asks, her lips turning up at the corners.
"You're really pretty," Ashley just says, like it's an everyday thing. "Beautiful actually."
Spencer's face goes red and she drops her eyes shyly before meeting Ashley's gaze. "Thanks."
The Luv Boat
"I don't think I can do this Spencer," Ashley mutters, feeling all kinds of trepidation walking up the front steps.
It was bad enough that she was doing this, but she was out of her element in more ways than one. She was never the type of woman to 'meet the folks' so to speak. And technically, she'd already met Spencer's parents but at the time she was fairly certain they had no idea she had just slept with their daughter (if the way they were throwing Aiden at Spencer was any indication). But here she was, on dry land, prepared to walk into these people's home and formally introduce herself as Captain Davies, Spencer's girlfriend.
What was she, crazy?
"Don't be ridiculous, Ashley," Spencer says, brushing her hands on Ashley's shoulders in a nervous gesture to remove non-existent lint. "They're going to love you. They already do. Now, me on the other hand…"
"What are you talking about?" Ashley asks her softly, taking the other woman's hands. "Your parents love you."
"I know they do," Spencer says, sighing lightly. "I also know that when they imagined their little girl growing up and being in a relationship, the person they envisioned her being with didn't have boobs."
Ashley chuckled against her better judgment. "Maybe so, but I'm sure that, given what I've seen of them and everything you've said, regardless of who I may or may not be, they'll love you regardless and be happy for you as long as you're happy. And you are happy, right?"
"Never been happier," Spencer says with a smile, leaning in to press her lips softly against the brunette's.
But I Don't Know Her
"Hang on, hang on," the young girl asks, waving her hands in the air. "Are you telling me that you two met on a blind date?"
Ashley smiled at their daughter and nodded slightly, her hand squeezing her wife's gently.
"A blind date Uncle Glen orchestrated?"
"Yep," Spencer replies, chuckling at the incredulous look the little girl was giving. At nine years old, she had that Ashley-bewildered look down.
"That's crazy," the girl says, turning through the photo album again, not even jumping when her uncle covers her ears.
"You know what's even crazier," Glen says, smirking at the pair. "Hooking up with your blind date the night before you meet them and then going for round two at my boss's party."
Spencer's ears turn red and she instantly faces Ashley, wondering just when her wife decided to spill that long-kept secret.
Ashley for her part stands up quickly, looking around the room. "Who could go for a Klondike bar?"
Me Ashley. You Spencer.
It was a hot day in the jungle.
"Ashley?" Spencer questions, peering out of the tree house onto the jungle floor. "Ash?"
Suddenly Ashley's in her face, hanging upside down from a vine. "Hi," she says brightly, hair falling into her face.
Spencer laughs, startled and amused. "Hi. What are you doing out there?"
"Went out. Got you present," Ashley says in her broken, yet improving, English.
"Oh yeah?" Spencer asks, reaching out to tug the girl inside, or attempt to.
Ashley was still a lot stronger than her.
"Only a little," Spencer says aloud.
"God, why don't you just shut up? Don't you have something else to do?"
Spencer rolls her eyes and gets back to Ashley. "What did you get me?"
Ashley swings inside the window and lands easily on her two bare feet, standing right in front of the blonde. "Here present," she smiles, fisting a bunch of wildflowers.
Spencer smiles and takes the bouquet from Ashley, cradling it in her arms before reaching for the brunette. "Thank you," she whispers with a grin, pulling her close.
Ashley wraps her arms around Spencer, dragging them both down to the floor. She pulls something else from behind her back, grasping it tightly between her two fingers. She grabs Spencer's hand and meets the blonde's blue eyes, face uncertain.
"Mine?" she asks, slipping a small band of interwoven grass and vine onto her finger. It's the wrong one but Spencer gets it.
"Yours," she says, feeling a lump growing in her throat as she leans in and presses her lips to the brunette's.
Awww, isn't that cute.
"Shut up!" the both yell.
Sleepless in the Big Apple
Knock Knock Knock
Spencer opens her door and Ashley rushes in, speaking before Spencer can even really figure out who it is.
"So I was trying to figure out what would be an appropriate gift to give my girlfriend for our first Valentine's Day and I know we said we weren't really going to do anything because the holiday is so commercial and blah blah blah but I couldn't resist because you're just so awesome and I really kinda love you."
"Okay, hi," Spencer says, smiling at her rambling other half. "Now what are you going on about?"
Ashley smiles and takes a deep breath, holding out a small carefully wrapped package. "Here. Happy Valentine's Day."
Spencer squeals excitedly because even though she knew they had decided on a no gifts policy, she secretly hoped that Ashley would totally dismiss that rule. She opens the small box and pulls out a small key.
"It's to my place," Ashley explains, eyes roaming about anxiously. "You don't have to say yes or anything but I was kind of hoping that my place could become our place. Because, okay, so I know you really love your apartment with its occasionally warm water and the 'L' train earthquakes but I was wondering if maybe you wanted to move in with me. You're there all the time anyway and I've gotten used to seeing your stuff around and having you around and I really hope that you'll say yes. But even if you don't you can keep the key. It only cost me like two bucks max so no loss there. Or you can not keep it and I can just take it back to Home Depot and tell them it didn't work I guess-"
"Ashley," Spencer laughingly interrupts, tugging on the brunette's shirt. "Calm down. I said yes like ten minutes ago."
Ashley blinks. "What?"
Spencer just nods, smiling brightly and then full on guffawing when Ashley hoists her up in the air, arms wrapped around her. "Oh my God," Ashley whispers, pulling back just enough to brush her lips against the blonde's. "I love you."
"This could very well end up sucking. You do realize that, right?" Spencer asks the other girl, well, 142-year-old woman actually. But hey, she still looked like a teenager so…girl.
Ashley smiled, her arms still wrapped around the blonde. They were sitting in a tree, out on a limb (and wasn't that accurate). She was propped up against the tree trunk, her back resting against it comfortably and Spencer's back was pressed into her front, snuggling deeper as the night wore on. "No pun intended, right?" she joked, squeezing the girl teasingly.
Spencer groaned and attempted to sit up, not entirely amused.
"Okay, okay," Ashley relented, holding on tighter. "I'm sorry but you left the door wide open," she says, leaning her head down to press her chin against Spencer's shoulder. "I get what you're saying, but this…" Ashley whispers, her lips ghosting over the other girl's ear. "…it's worth it, don't you think?"
Spencer turns around suddenly, her hands cradling the brunette's face. "I…don't know," she finally says, her hands moving down slowly to press against Ashley's chest.
She doesn't feel a heartbeat.
Ashley's frown matches her own.
She knows what the blonde is thinking.
"It may not beat, but I still feel, Spencer. I feel something for you," Ashley whispers, face serious.
Spencer's eyes drop, her eyes on her own hands moving back up to Aslhey's face. She traces her pinky over a bottom lip.
Ashley's practiced breaths get shallow and her chest heaves pointlessly.
Spencer's eyes finally land on her own and the blonde bites her lip, anxious. "Can you even love me?"
Ashley's own eyes widen and she would swear, on her life if it was still hers to give, that she felt her heart thud in her chest.
It was only for a second but she felt that lub-dub bang against her ribs voraciously.
"I think I already do."
Soccer Field Charades
Ashley stares down her opposition, kicking the soccer ball from her right foot to her left, sizing the other girl up.
Spencer's eyes are focused, she's watching the ball and watching Ashley's shoulders, side to side and just waiting.
Quick as lighting, Ashley presses forward, sprinting ahead and heading for the soccer goal, arm fighting with Spencer the entire way.
She dribbles hard left and then kicks it back right, Spencer right with her.
They were evenly matched as always and neither would give the other ground.
Ashley stopped suddenly, a hesitation dribble and it gave her the advantage she needed, ripping the ball past a slightly off-kilter Spencer and into the open mouth of the goal.
"Woot!" Ashley yelled, doing a quick back flip. "You got owned Carlin."
"Shut it, Davies," Spencer grumbled, dejectedly blowing blonde hair out of her face.
"That ankle still slowing you down?" Ashley asks, teasingly swatting the other girl on the butt.
"I'm serious, Ashley. Cut it out," Spencer warns.
"Or what, huh?" Ashley asks, stepping closer to the blonde.
Spencer's flushed face flushes harder and her eyes narrow to nearly slits. "That's it," she mutters, grabbing a fistful of Ashley's jersey and kissing her with gusto.
Ashley complies readily, and they stumble around Spencer's backyard, legs tangling and sending them both roughly to the ground, Spencer landing on top of Ashley.
The brunette's hands slide down Spencer's body, resting along the back of her bare thighs and Spencer grips Ashley's head, her blunt nails scratching lightly at her scalp until Ashley hisses in pleasure.
Then just as suddenly, Spencer pulls away, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth.
It takes Ashley a moment to open her eyes but when she does she sees Spencer standing over her, smiling with glittering eyes. "Now," the blonde asks, clearing her throat lightly and wearing a smug grin. "Who owned who?"
I Smell A Rat
So yeah, Spencer's kind of feeling like a bad ass.
Or she was.
At the Chuckee Cheese the other day she was a total badass.
Standing up to the little ankle-biters on behalf of the giant rat, who ended up being a girl, a girl she eventually asked out so yeah, all of that was totally badass.
But then she realized that asking her out meant taking her out and what the hell does Spencer know about dating a girl?
Answer: absolutely nothing.
She was surprised she even still knew how to walk what with how many dragons were flapping around in her stomach and no she did not misspeak, they were dragons. Several fire breathing dragons and they were about to make her throw up.
But hopefully not on whoever answers the doorbell.
The front door cracks open and a boy about her age answers it, smiling immediately after. "Sup?"
She almost barfs. Literally. But then she rolls her eyes at herself and squeaks.
Not much better actually.
"Is Ashley here?" she asks, hands wringing together anxiously.
"Yeah," the boy smiles, leaning against the door jamb. "Who wants to know?"
Spencer's quite torn because, well, this boy is obviously very cute and obviously trying to hit on her and she obviously had only ever been attracted to guys up to this point anyway so it would be kind of okay if she just blew off the Ashley date thing and hung out with this boy, right?
"Jake, who is it?" she hears called from inside.
"Some pretty girl," Jake, she now knows, answers, flashing a grin in her direction.
She flushes deeply.
"Spencer?" the same voice asks and Jake just raises an eyebrow, silently questioning.
Spencer nods, word beyond her for the moment.
"Yup," Jake calls back behind him, crossing his arms.
Spencer feels just a tad uncomfortable under his gaze but she tries her darnedest not to let it show, but then the door swings open wider and she sees Ashley.
Correction: some model girl who sounds like Ashley and kind of looks like her but is obviously not her because she's gorgeous.
"Hey," Ashley greets with a smile. "I see you met my brother, Jacob. He's just leaving."
"No, I'm not," Jake states, smirking at his sister.
"Yes, you were. Get lost," Ashley returns, hooking a thumb over her shoulder.
The boy rolls his eyes but eventually walks back into the house, his interest obviously fleeting.
"Sorry about that. He can't really contain his hormones around pretty girls," Ashley flirts, stepping out of the house. "So, where are we going?"
"Ashley?" Spencer finally manages, speaking for the first time since the brunette showed up.
"Yeah," Ashley answers, looking confused.
"Oh my God," Spencer whispers, looking the girl up from head to toe. "You look gorgeous," she can't help saying, truly marveling.
Ashley chuckles good-naturedly. "Well, anything's an improvement over a big fat gray rat suit."
Spencer blinks and then laughs a minute, the result of the joke getting to her brain late as well as the nervous energy she was harboring. "That's true but you still look…great."
"Thanks," Ashley grins, crinkling her nose. "So do you."
Spencer finally smiles, feeling a bit more at ease than she had been for most of the night. She holds out her hand, squeezing once when she laces her fingers through the other girl's. "Shall we?"
Mrs. and Mrs. Smith
Ashley sat down at the kitchen table, reading her newspaper and Spencer grabbed a canteen of orange juice, pouring them each a glass full.
She sits opposite her wife and butters her toast before casually popping a slice of strawberry into her mouth.
"They've got paint on sale at The Home Depot this weekend," Ashley offers, not looking up from the newsprint. "Maybe we can finally pick out a color for the downstairs guest room."
"I've picked out a color already," Spencer says, spooning some oatmeal.
"And I said we were painting that room sunshine over my dead body," Ashley replies, looking up to catch Spencer's eye.
The blonde smiles lovingly. "That can be arranged."
Ashley rolls her eyes and reaches for her glass of juice, nearly taking a sip before her nose picks up on a whiff os something.
Spencer's about to take a sip out of her glass but Ashley kicks their kitchen table, sending the edge harshly into Spencer's midsection and the glass of juice flying.
"What the hell, Ashley?" Spencer yells, affronted.
"There's something in the juice," Ashley tells her, getting up to check the canteen. It's tainted too. "Someone's been in here," she whispers, looking around.
"Someone's still in here," Spencer says, eyes widening at the red dot right between Ashley's eyebrows before she dives across the room, knocking them both to the floor, a slew of bullets following in her wake.
The both move for the kitchen table, turning it onto its side for cover as well as removing the twin semi-automatic rifles they kept stashed under there.
"How many?" Ashley asks, going into full assassin mode. Although, typically she wasn't on the receiving end of the violence.
"Two," Spencer answers, thinking. She reaches across the floor and grabs a small saucer up into the air, watching with fury as it gets decimated by bullets.
"Four," she corrects, smartly estimating the bullet's trajectory. "Two outside near the garage. One upstairs and one out front on Ted's lawn."
"Shit," Ashley curses, wincing slightly. "Elena's going to be pissed."
"Who the hell cares about Elena?"
"She's always complaining about people walking on their lawn," Ashley explains rather pointlessly.
Spencer leans over to kiss her quickly. "Look, I love that you react so calmly in life or death situations but there are four very well trained assassins right outside our house trying to kill us. I'm going to need you to have a little perspective here."
Ashley smirks at her, loading up the rifle and taking aim at one of their cooking pots handing on the pot rack.
The bullet bounces off the utensil and sails somewhere out of the back window, a low moan sounding shortly thereafter.
"Three well-trained assassins," Ashley says with a grin.
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
The little heads were all staring up at her, watching intently as she read aloud from Corduroy Gets A Pocket, a timeless classic of she must say so herself.
And say so herself she must because she'd bet money that most of these kids couldn't even talk yet.
But…that's the price you pay when your girlfriend works at the library and you enjoy looking at her face as much as humanly possible, even if that means enduring snotty offspring and whining babies. Oh, and the occasional kid or two.
Ashley smiles when Spencer's eyes light up, getting to one of her favorite parts and the little kids lean forward even more, drawn to her.
The blonde catches her eye quickly, the mirth hidden just underneath confirming that Ashley's little impromptu visit to Spencer's scheduled weekend reading would not go unrewarded.
Ashley was one very lucky girl.
Reading is fundamental.
Diamond In The Rough
"I feel kind of bad watching this," Spencer murmurs, still curled up into Ashley's chest, snuggling in front of the television.
"You didn't leave him at the altar, Spence," Ashley replies, squeezing her tighter.
"Almost," Spencer continues, shrugging slightly. "I feel like a bad person."
"Trust me. It would have been much worse if you'd married him and everything even though you knew he wasn't what you wanted," Ashley assures her girlfriend, stroking her hair lightly.
"Yeah. You're right," Spencer relents, shifting a leg over both of Ashley's, mounting her. "'Cause it turns out I'm pretty gay."
Ashley snorts, laughing against the lips suddenly pressed to hers.
A Soldier's Story
Ashley watched the scene on the television unfold with a tear in her eye. President Obama signing into legislation the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
"…a good day. It's a real good day! This is a long time in coming, but I'm glad it's here…"
Spencer walks in from the kitchen, still wiping her hands on a dry cloth. "Is it official yet?"
Ashley nods and holds out her arms, waiting until Spencer clamors onto her lap.
"How do you feel?" Spencer asks her, letting her head drop onto a strong shoulder.
"Like I finally belong," Ashley whispers back, her chest tight.
Spencer shifts slightly, ghosting a hand over the brunette's face. "You've always belonged Ash. You belong to me."
Compliments to the Chef
"Do you actually want me to get fat?" Ashley asks her, patting on her stuffed stomach. "Because that's what you're gonna do if you keep feeding me like this."
Spencer smiles and takes the plates off the table, tossing them into the dishwasher. "What's the point of cooking if you can't do it for the ones you love?"
Ashley catches her around the waist as she tries to walk past and pulls her into her lap and Spencer lands a little too solidly, forcing a burp deep from Ashley's chest.
"That was attractive," Spencer snorts, giggling at Ashley's blush.
"Shut up," Ashley murmurs back, tugging the blonde down for a kiss that's much too tame for the brunette's liking.
"You know," Spencer starts, placing little chaste kisses on Ashley's mouth and chin and nose and cheeks. "There's a reason I feed you so well."
"I knew it," Ashley gasps mockingly, leaning back a little. "You do want me fat."
"Close. I just want to help you burn off the excess calories," Spencer grins, leaning down and placing an incendiary kiss on the brunette's mouth, one that foretold of an evening of "special-cardio".
I Saved Your, Um, Cat
"Your cat's a pervert," Ashley tells her, once they're finally sated to the point of exhaustion.
"No she's not," Spencer mumbles, barely aware of speaking.
"Yes she is," Ashley insists. "She was staring at us the entire time we were…you know," she gestures lamely, suddenly shy, which was ridiculous considering they were both pretty much naked.
"No she isn't. She just stares a lot. It's what cats do. They stare," Spencer informs her, turning into the brunette and opening her eyes lazily. "Hi," she smiles.
"Hi," Ashley smiles back. "Is it okay that I pretty much don't want to leave this bed right now?"
"No, that's fine," Spencer tells her before frowning slightly. "Wait, is it because of me or because of the bed."
"Well, now that you mention it, this bed is kind of nice," Ashley bounces a little for emphasis.
"Jerk," Spencer scoffs, smacking her lightly on the forehead and pouting playfully, even as Ashley reaches to pull her closer.
"I'm kidding," the brunette mumbles, feeling her heart rate pick up again. "I'm way too tired to have sex, again. Can I just hold you?"
Spencer smiles softly. "You don't have to ask."
"Who in the hell names their cat Pussy?"
Ho and Tell
Spencer pulled open the hotel room door, slowly easing out her cart and then stepping out behind it only managing a few paces before being pulled back into room 716.
Ashley tugged her back inside, pressing her back up against the closed door, lips and tongues and teeth all pressing together intimately.
"Ashley," the blonde giggled, matching her aggression. "I'm going to get in trouble."
"I'm sorry, what is it you're saying? You want me?" Ashley whispers out, her hands grasping at the material of Spencer's uniform.
"I do," Spencer assures her, momentarily losing her concentration when Ashley's lips attack her neck. "But, but, I gotta finish up the rest of my rounds. Or pretty soon they'll send hotel security after me, thinking some old dirty pervert's got me."
"Well, I'm not old or dirty. The pervert thing might not be too much of a stretch though," Ashley smiled, pulling back slowly.
Spencer grinned back, tilting her head slightly.
"Do you want to see me again?" Ashley asks her, feeling just a bit nervous, even after the times they'd just shared nothing was ever set in stone.
Spencer's smile falters just a tad. "That's not exactly up to me. I live here and more than likely, you're just passing through."
"That's true," Ashley nods, conceding the point. "But you could still answer the question."
"I…"Spencer starts, and then closes her mouth, not wanting to open herself up to rejection. She wasn't really this person; this random hook-up person.
"Because I really want to see you again," Ashley's quick to say, cutting into Spencer's less than appealing thoughts. "And not just for the sex either, even though the sex was pretty damn good."
Spencer lifts a teasing eyebrow. "Only good?"
Ashley smiles. "You know what I mean."
"I'd really like to see you for non-sex too, Ashley," the blonde replies, bringing her palms up to hold Ashley's face.
The Web We Weave
"Are you sure you're ready to do this?" Ashley asks her and Spencer stops to actually think about it.
She was never the type of girl to be sure of anything. She only felt when things were good and when things were bad.
And right now, things were very good.
She smiled up at the girl and nodded, swallowing down her nerves as Ashley shifted underneath the sheets, removing that final barrier between their bodies so that there were pressed warm flesh against warm flesh.
Spencer gasped, feeling the other girl's arousal on her thigh and she watched as Ashley bit her lip, trying and subsequently failing to hold back a moan.
"I…I don't really know what to do," Spencer told the other girl, looking away for a barely discernable moment.
Ashley smiled, leaning down to trail her nose over Spencer's briefly, bringing the girl's attention back to her. "Don't you worry about that, Spencer. I'll take care of you."
Kerri was looking at her strangely again.
"I still can't believe you're going out with that freak? And I'm not referring to her as a freak in the 'Ew, she's a gay girl' way. I mean it in the 'Ew, she likes riding around on skateboards in the sun all day and still never gets a decent tan' way."
"Well, that makes it so much better doesn't it," Ashley deadpanned, closing her locker. "Leave it alone. I like her okay? And yeah, I'm a little freaked out that I like this girl more than I've liked any of my past boyfriends combined and yes we are like, polar opposites, but she gets me as clichéd as that may sound and I get her."
Kerri just shrugged disinterestedly because teenagers are just fickle like that. "Is she coming to watch you cheer at the game?"
Ashley shrugged, biting her lip with sudden nerves. "I asked her," she mumbled with a shy smile. "I've never been so anxious to have someone see me cheer before."
Kerri cannot help the smile that blossomed on her face. "Oh my God, you are just so into this girl. It'd actually be pretty adorable if I thought she wasn't a creature of the night."
Ashley groaned, rolling her eyes. "Shut up Kerri."
"Aww, that's no way to talk to your friends," Ashley heard her say a second before her books were plucked out of her hands.
"Hey," she smiled, bumping into Spencer companionably.
"Hi," Spencer echoed, only having eyes for Ashley.
"Oookay, then," Kerri said, rolling her eyes at the thunderstruck duo. They were off in a different world somewhere. "See you two at the game."
Spencer's smile widened. "The guys gave me a lot of crap for actually voluntarily going to a Cobras game."
"Yeah, I can see Shane and Bucky totally flipping their shit," Ashley laughed, tangling her hand with the blonde's. "But, that's what you do when your girlfriend's on the cheerleading squad."
"Unfortunately," Spencer playfully sighed, looking aloof.
"You're such a goof," Ashley giggled, kissing her on the cheek.
"Ashley…Ashley over here!"
The brunette turns to the reporter, stepping between the massive throngs of bodies to get his camera aimed directly in her direction.
She decides to throw the guy a bone.
"Ashley, quick question, is it true that you're dating that Radio DJ you hit on on air?"
Ashley smiles. "It's true."
"How's that going?"
"It's going pretty well, guy. It's going pretty well," she says, looking directly into the camera with a cryptic smile.
Back home Spencer's sitting on the couch, watching the brunette move seamlessly down the red carpet. After her first time attending one of those events and going through the hassle of getting all dressed and made up, Spencer decided that she was perfectly content sitting at home on the sofa with a beer and a bag of chips, relaxing on the chaise lounge while wearing her 'When Do I Get To Vote On Your Marriage' t-shirt.
She smiles at the look she knows Ashley's directing at her and she can't believe that even in this short expanse of time, she's felt so much for the brunette. But she has and that's why last night – after they'd made love, and she was lying there semi-conscious in the afterglow and wondering why it was she really wanted a cigarette – when Ashley had reached over into the nightstand, pulling out an object and casually slipping the small band around her left ring finger, Spencer squealed in delight and jumped on top of the girl, hugging her close and murmuring yes over and over again.
The last of the bandages had finally been removed a week ago, and while Spencer still had substantial scarring on her face – some that would never completely heal – she'd been learning to cope with it better.
And that had a lot to do with the girl sitting just in front of her right now, trying her hardest (and being quite successful) in imitating Quagmire from Family Guy.
"Giggidy, Gig-gi-dy," Ashley carries on, strutting in front of Spencer's bed.
They were in her bedroom, enjoying a lazy Saturday in front of the television and under the covers.
"You're so ridiculous," Spencer laughs, doubling over again and Ashley climbed back onto the bed, crawling onto her lap.
"I think that was a compliment," the brunette smiles, settling comfortably on her knees, gently distributing her weight so as to not squish Spencer.
The blonde smiled up at her, running her hands over hips and grasping onto her thighs. "Gimme a kiss."
"But you're waaay down there," Ashley teased, wiggling a bit.
Spencer reaches up and grasps a fistful of shirt, pulling Ashley down. "You were saying?" she whispers against the brunette's lips.
"Never mind," Ashley whispers back, sealing their lips together.
Red & Blue
Ashley pops the clutch and the car jumps up on its front wheels. She shifts again and it tilts to its left.
Macro whoops, running up to the passenger side of the car. "Oh man, you finally finished her," he yelled, jumping headfirst into the back seat.
Spencer laughs and Ashley turns around to punch him in the thigh. "Watch the upholstery jerk off. I just got it cleaned."
Marco sits up, bouncing around on the plush interior. "How's the sounds?"
Ashley shares a look with Spencer before clicking on the radio, the trunk rattling with the bass instantaneously, garnering the attention of several of the kids on the block.
They all waved their hands and yelled, jamming along to the music.
"Oh shiznit," Marco practically squeals. "She got the boom like a 808."
"Your friend's got some serious issues," Ashley informs the blonde, reaching over the gearshift to wind their hands together.
"Now that we're dating, isn't he kind of your friend too?"
Ten Items or Less
"Mom, Dad, I'd like you meet Ashley," Spencer says, hand at the small of her back as she presents her like she's brandishing a bouquet of flowers.
"She's my girlfriend," Aiden adds, smiling brightly.
Paula and Arthur look to Spencer utterly confused and she rolls her eyes at the boy even though she knew he'd only done that to make her less nervous. "He's not serious. Ashley's actually…she's uh, my girlfriend," Spencer stutters feeling her cheeks burn.
Ashley just rocks into her, her lips upturned in a small smile.
Arthur grins and Paula's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, but she mostly looks amused too. "Well, Ashley, it's nice to meet you," she says, holding out a hand to the girl which the brunette politely takes into her own.
"It's nice to meet you to Mrs. Carlin, Mr. Carlin," she adds on, holding out a hand to the man.
Guess she missed the memo on Arthur being a hugger.
Spencer barely suppresses a giggle at Ashley's surprised face when the older man wraps her up in a huge bear hug. "Welcome to the family Ashley."
Glen comes clamoring down the stairs then and mock punches Aiden in the gut, like he's used to. "Hey Spazz and Spazz's friend. Who's the hottie?" he asks, eyeing Ashley slightly and taking a sip of his soda.
"Glen," Paula admonishes lightly. "Don't talk about people like that. What have I told you? Besides, that is a rude way to describe your sister's girlfriend."
Glen does a spit-take, looking back and forth between the two girls before finally shrugging it off. "Meh, I always knew she was a muffin-lover."
Lean On Me
Everyone was clapping and cheering her on, turning it up a notch when she blew out the candle.
One whole year of sobriety down, the rest of her life to go.
Kat was there, and so was her brother. Her aunt Morgan was there.
But really, the only person she had eyes for was Ashley.
She'd heard that it was relatively easy for an alcoholic to become addicted to the person who'd "rescued" them for lack of a better term and for a while she thought that was all it was.
But then Ashley'd started coming by unannounced.
And then she gave her a key.
And then that one time, when Spencer had the stomach flu and looked God awful, Ashley came and spent the day in bed with her and she knew she wasn't just doing it out of obligation too because when she asked her how terrible she looked , Ashley merely laughed and said she looked beautiful.
No one could lie that convincingly.
"Congratulations baby," Ashley whispers into her ear, arms wrapping around her midsection from behind.
The rectory is beautifully decorated in pale yellow and white, daisies lining the aisles and affixed to the folding chairs the guests are sitting on. It'd been a long road but they were finally here, standing before her God, ready to take on a new life, together.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together in Holy matrimony Miss Spencer Carlin," Sister O'Malley bellows, her voice echoing throughout the gathering chamber as she turns to the blonde. "..and Miss Ashley Davies. Now, lassies, the bond of marriage is a sacred one and as such should not be entered into lightly. Do you understand?"
Ashley smiles at Spencer, holding her hands a little tighter. "We do," she answers for both of them.
Spencer smiles back, her eyes getting a little misty. Her mother is in the front row, bawling her eyes out. And Glen's there too and Clay, and also her father, smiling proudly.
Ashley's parents are sitting on the other side, her mother leaning into her father with glittering eyes.
Spencer lets her eyes drift back to Ashley's and she just feels so completely assured that everything in her life will work out fine. It's like God Him(or Her)self is embracing her, enveloping her in a warmth that is nothing short of serene. The words and sounds just fade away and all she can see in front of her is Ashley, the woman she's destined to spend the rest of her life with.
"…until death do you part?"
Don't Take It…Personal
Ashley pulls back slowly and Spencer blinks a few times, getting her bearings back. "Wow," she whispers, eyes almost loopy.
Ashley grins and cradles her cheek.
"I mean," Spencer stammers stupidly, trying to find the words to describe what she's feeling. It's an inevitable fail though and even with all her brainpower dedicated to it all she can do is shrug and breathe out, "Wow."
"You said that already," Ashley gets out through a chuckle, pressing her nose against the blonde's.
"It's just that…we…and then you…and it was like…You ever read those romance novels?" Spencer finally asks, her ears turning red.
Ashley nods, thoroughly amused.
"It's like that…only, without all the sex. Not that I don't want there to be sex," she's quick to rectify and then her eyes widen. "And not like I do want sex. I mean, I'm not…easy or anything. But, I'm not hard…either?"
And the awkward talker award goes to…
"Oh my God," Spencer murmurs, bringing up her hands to bury her face in her palms.
Ashley chuckles again, pulling the blonde's hands away. "I get you," she says, smiling softly. "And I agree. The kiss was wow." She leans in again, watching as Spencer's eyes nearly cross trying to stay focused on her. "And now I'm going to do it again."
30th Birthday Depression
Spencer shifted in bed, unwittingly pulling the covers off of her girlfriend.
Ashley was asleep beside her, lying on her stomach. One arm was pinned underneath the brunette, the other curled in on itself just under her chin.
Spencer couldn't believe it had been a whole year since that fateful night when she'd left that horrible house and that horrible relationship with that horrible man and never looked back.
She shifts again, moving the blankets to cover Ashley's shoulders once more and finds herself, brushing hair out of the brunette's face.
She smiles and leans down to press a gentle kiss to the woman's forehead. "I love you."
About A Dame
"Morning sugar," she says, her hand hovering over my face.
I can't believe I fell asleep and slept so soundly too. Guess this one has that effect on me.
"Morning," I mumble out, sitting up slightly. "Sleep all right?"
"Well enough," she shrugs, propping herself up sexily on my pillow.
There's no sense in lying. She looks good in my bed.
"So…Detective, what do we do now?" she asks me, that dangerous glint in her eyes.
I'm sure that look has ended wars and maybe even started a few others; that look is trouble incarnate and something inside me screams to stay far, far away.
But something else screams for me to just hold on tight for what's bound to be one hell of a ride.
Guess you can call me a risk-taker.
"Carlin residence. Romeo speaking. Are you my Juliet?" Glen answers the phone, holding off Spencer fairly easily with an extended arm.
"Um…hi. This is Ashley…"
"Oh jeez," Glen groans, dropping the phone immediately. "Your dork is on the phone."
"She's not a dork, Glen," Spencer mumbles out, finally getting by him to get the receiver.
He rolls his eyes at her, throwing his hand. "Whatever. I'm bored. Don't drool all over the phone this time."
Spencer frowns at him pushing her glasses up on her nose before holding the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"
"Hi, Spencer," Ashley breathes across the line and Spencer's insides twist around funnily.
"Hi, Ashley," she replies, tugging nervously at her pocket protector. "What are you doing?"
"Postulating a new theory on harmonic frequencies," Ashley answers, snorting a laugh at the end. "What about you?"
"I just finished up my calculus project examining the correlation between higher levels of success rates in solving calculus problems and frequent exploiters of metacongnitive thinking strategies."
"Interesting," Ashley effuses.
"It is," Spencer continues excitedly. "it's basically a precursor to the research that confirms metacognitive thinking may be the reason children in other parts of the globe are performing at such higher levels than American kids in the major test areas of math, English, and science."
"I'm intrigued, Spencer. I'm sure you've done a great job," Ashley mumbles shyly.
Spencer's cheeks warm, and she twists her legs bashfully. "Thanks Ashley."
"Can I come over…and maybe see what you have?"
Spencer tries not to hyperventilate but she's reaching for the inhaler before she knows it, taking a few quick puffs. "That's fine."
"Great," Ashley breathes, chuckling dorkishly. "I'll see you soon."
Oh. Em. Gee: A Meet & Greet
"You little slut," Emily shrieks, flicking me on the arm.
"Ow," I laugh, looking around at the people that were suddenly looking at us. Trusting Emily to be discreet is like trusting George W. Bush to handle a war.
"Can you keep your voice down?" I hiss, pushing some of my hair back behind my ear nervously. "I don't need everyone knowing my business."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Emily says, eyes widened in mock repentance. "I didn't know it was such a big secret that you hooked up with the band!"
I grab her arm this time, pushing her into a dark corner just outside the venue. There were still quite a few people milling about and I didn't need any more ears. Besides, I needed to find out what she was so upset for.
"What is your problem?" I ask her, not getting her sudden rage.
Did I stutter?
"My problem is that you left me hanging out there all by myself, knowing how much I loved the band and then to top it all off, you slept with Aiden."
"And don't even try to deny it. I know you had sex. It's written all over your face and frankly, you smell like it."
"Okay, first of all, I didn't abandon you. They picked me. Totally different and secondly, I didn't hook up with Aiden."
"Well, who'd you do?" Emily asks me, confused. "Please tell me you didn't do one of those fugly Fall Out Boys? Love their music but their faces leave little to be desired."
"No," I say, suddenly feeling shy. "It was…mghmy."
Emily just stares at me. "Can you say that one more time and this time take the eight balls of cotton out of your mouth?"
I roll my eyes. "It was Ashley, okay?"
Emily looks more confused than before. "The bassist? But isn't she a…"
I watch worriedly as the cogs fall into place and Emily's jaw drops before a devious smirks takes up permanent residence. "You little sneaky bitch," she grins, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "I always knew you were as straight as spaghetti until it gets wet."
"How about this one?"
Ashley laughs out loud again, clutching her stomach. "I don't get your infatuation with sweater vests, Spencer. It's unhealthy."
"I thought you said it was not fashionable," Spencer fires back, filing through the clothing rack.
"That too," Ahsley laughs, stepping up behind her.
Spencer smiles, feeling the other girl's hand slide around her waist, fingers looping into her empty belt loops. "Didn't your parents ever teach you about personal boundaries?"
She feels the brunette smile against the back of her neck, lips stalling there as she breathes out hot air. "My parents were hippies."
Spencer snorts, knowing that's the furthest from the truth and rocks them slowly from side to side.
"Aww, how domestic?" they hear some say, the sound just behind them.
Asley rolls her eyes and turns to the girl who'd made her life hell and basically forced her and her family to move. "Why won't you just leave us alone?"
"Because life is more fun this way," Madison sneers, cutting her eyes to the blonde next. "And to think, I was almost friends with you."
"Good thing you aren't," Sherry, Madison's minion, pipes up. "You might have caught the 'ghey'."
The two girls cackle and stalk off.
Ashley's breathing has picked up and she's holding on a little tighter to Spencer than normal. She turns the blonde around and sees the look in her eyes, instantly feeling ashamed.
Her arms let go of Spencer and she backs up a step, eyes to the ground. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."
Spencer's hands shoot out to Ashley's, grabbing them and putting them back where they were. "I'm not."
Lost in the Sands of Ti- I Mean, Egypt
"Why is there a camel in our backyard?" Spencer asks her as calmly as she can manage but if that thing gets anywhere near her begonias there will be hell to pay.
"I thought it would be a nice way to kick off our fifteenth year anniversary," Ashley beams proudly, clasping her wife's hand. "You remember how we met."
"Is this the same camel?"
"One and the same," Ashley assures her, patting the thing gingerly. The trainer had told her to be gentle or it would spit at her.
"Baby," Spencer says, voice softening but also slightly amused. "It's sweet and I love the thought you put into it…"
"But," Ashley interjects, wincing a little as the thing creeps closer to Spencer's garden.
"Yeah, but. There's a freaking camel in our backyard and it wants to eat my flowers," Spencer deadpans, laughter evident in her voice. "I'm afraid to move to be honest and it kinda stinks."
"I thought it would be romantic," Ashley pouts, kicking the ground a little to display her displeasure but then the camel grunted rather loudly and she and Spencer backed up a step. "Okay, maybe not romantic, per se."
"It's the thought that counts," Spencer reassures her, tugging Ashley's arm back when the camel steps forward again. "Now, let's go inside and call animal control before this thing eats us."
"Right behind you, babe."
Oh, It's You
Ashley walked onto set and immediately could sense something was up.
Everyone lacked that usual bounce to their step. Even the boom mic operators kept letting the mic sag into the shots.
Of course, usually when things like this happened there was really only one cause for the problem.
"Does this look like a fucking apricot to you? Does it? I specifically asked for an apricot. Not a peach. Not a fucking nectarine. Now, I don't care if you have to hop on a plane and fly to the fruit groves of Georgia and hand-pick one off of a fucking tree but I want my fucking apricot right, fucking, now!"
Ashley's eyebrows rose, wincing when the doors to Spencer's trailer slammed shut.
Five f-bombs in one day.
Someone was cranky.
The guy – prop man, poor fellow – on the receiving end of Spencer's tirade eyed the piece of fruit on his shirt angrily. Seems Spencer had mashed it during her rant.
The director looks visibly relieved to see Ashley and rushes over to her, giving her a knowing look.
"Rough day?" Ashley asks, smiling ruefully.
"I don't know what you did before. But you need to fix her or so help me God this horror movie is going to turn into a real life slasher," Wes states, so calmly that she almost believes him.
She knocks on the blonde's trailer door and receives a muffled "Go away unless you come bearing apricots." She rolls her eyes and opens it anyway.
"I don't have apricots but I do have fruit gushers," Ashley tells her, holding up her hands in mock surrender.
Spencer sits up from her couch, looking disheveled but only in the way that makes her more beautiful than most people on their best day.
Ashley sits down next to her. "Gimme 'em," she mutters, holding out her hand and Ashley tears open a pouch, rolling her eyes but obediently placing piece after piece into the blonde's open palm.
"Wes wants me to 'work out your kinks' so to speak. He threatened murder," she informs her, eating a sugary snack herself.
"Mmm," Spencer nods, scooting closer to Ashley on her couch. "You?"
"No. You," Ashley says, letting her eyes drift shut as her head drops back to the back of the couch.
She keeps them closed even as she feels Spencer working her leg over both of her, straddling her with ease. "We do have some time. And I do feel a little tight."
Ashley's eyes snap open suddenly, brown on blue. "Well, we'll see what we can do about that."
Later, Spencer was much less of a bitch on set. She was walking a little funny but that was neither here nor there.
Some People Just Need Counseling
"Can I ask you a question?"
"You can," Spencer grants smartly, sitting across from her at their dining room table.
Ashley smiles warmly. "May I?"
Spencer nods, smiling back as she takes a sip of her wine.
"Is sex a good springboard for a relationship?"
Spencer almost chokes on her wine. "Where did that come from?"
"I've just been thinking and, well, even though I know it's not just about the sex with us, not at all, a part of me wonders if maybe they'll be some bad karma because of how we hooked up, you know?"
Spencer grins at her, putting down her glass. "Do you honestly want me to shrink you?"
"I honestly do," Ashley answers, scooting up closer.
"Typically, it's not good for relationships to start off as sex. Granted, there has to be some sort of sexual attraction for a relationship to even progress past the point of platonic intimacy but, usually, it's better to have a little build-up."
"See?" Ashley points, eyebrows raised and her eyes widened behind her wire-framed glasses. "I told you. We're doomed."
"I'm not worried about it," Spencer answers, going back to her dinner.
"Why?" Ashley asks, one eyebrow raised this time.
"Because we are the lone exception to the rule, sweetheart. We always are."
Stop…in the Name of Love
Ashley didn't know exactly how she had done it but now that she had, she couldn't really complain.
It's just that she wasn't supposed to let anyone have access to her keys but here she was letting Spencer handcuff her to the blonde's bed without putting up much of a struggle.
"God," Spencer whispered, running her hands down the length of Ashley's stretched out arms, over her collarbone, to rest on her breasts, kneading the soft flesh and feeling her harden under the attention. "You're so sexy."
"You're more," Ashley breathes out, her hips twisting in a vain effort to find some way to alleviate the pressure building in her gut.
"Uh, uh, uh," Spencer pulled her lower body back, her thigh just out of reach. "You have to be patient. Weren't you the one teaching me about taking my time?"
Ashley swallows thickly, trying to reply but coming up short when Spencer's all-too talented lips work on her neck, biting and sucking and leaving bruises she'd have a hard time explaining to the squad tomorrow.
"I've learned a few things from you officer," Spencer continues to say, one hand traveling further soft, sliding over ribs and a hip bone, finding purchase in tantalizing wet heat. She wastes no time in driving two fingers in deep, her lips finding Ashley's who moans into the kiss. "Like the importance of slowing down," she whispers, working her fingers in and out of Ashley at a maddeningly slow pace.
She kept it up until Ashley was thrashing beneath her, twisting around and begging for Spencer to "Stop teasing and fuck me!"
Spencer chuckled, placing a wet kiss behind Ashley's ear, still thrusting slow. "You know what else you taught me?"
"Spencer…" Ashley groaned, her voice warning.
"…when the exact right time is to speed it up."
Spencer's eye cracked open with her face still buried into the couch cushion.
Maya was lying just across from her, her tiny fists pressing hard into her chubby cheeks.
"Please Maya," Spencer whispered, too exhausted to move. "Give Mommy five more minutes of peace. I promise I'll hold you all day."
But Maya drove a hard bargain because it started with a little gurgle, then there were a bunch of little half-sighs like she was just preparing for it, and lastly, the gasp and wail.
Spencer turned into the cushion some more – maybe about to cry and trying to figure out what it was Maya could possibly want now that she wasn't hungry, sleepy, wet, or gassy – when the doorbell buzzed, signaling a rather early morning visitor.
Spencer groaned full on now, looking over to Maya and grabbing her up gently, even though she was still frowning. "This is all your fault, you know," she tells the baby. "Because you wake up at ungodly hours of the night people naturally assume I do too."
"Whoseit?" she murmurs into the intercom and presses the listen button, lightly bouncing Maya in her arms.
Spencer feels the smile on her face and can't check it before it comes, looking down to her daughter who had momentarily quieted at the other voice in the room. "Don't look at me like that," Spencer smiled, brushing a finger across the tiny girl's cheek. "You like her too."
"C'mon up," she said into the speaker, buzzing her in.
Then she looked down at her attire…and panicked.
She was still wearing an oversized t-shirt and also, she had started leaking.
She and Maya went into the bedroom and she hurriedly pulled things out of drawers, the baby more confused now than anything. Her mother was acting pretty strangely.
Somehow Spencer managed to tug on some shorts and switch her shirt without ever having to put Maya down which has to be some kind of Guinness world record and all before Ashley knocked on her apartment door too.
"Hey," Spencer greets, tugging the apartment door open.
"Hi," Ashley smiles, stepping beside her to come in. She gives Spencer a brief hug, ever mindful of the baby. The she drops a kiss to the little tuft of hair on Maya's head. "Hey baby girl."
Maya frets a little but she quiets down rather quickly.
"What are you doing by so early?" she asks the brunette, leading her into the baby battle zone formerly known as her living room.
Ashley smiles, sitting down on the sofa right before the blonde. "Spencer, it's almost noon."
"No it is not," Spencer gasps, feeling around for her phone, finding it and letting her jaw drop. "I am sooo tired these days. My nights are running into my days."
"She not sleeping again?" Ashley asks, brushing a finger down the little girl's nose.
"It's like she thinks four a.m. is party time or something. Trust me Maya, you're not missing anything," Spencer tells her playfully, her statement punctuated by a yawn.
"You know, you can call me if you need help with her. I won't mind."
Spencer waves her hand at the other woman. "I don't want to be a burden."
"I want to, Spencer," Ashley tells her softly, scooting in closer. "It won't be a burden."
"Okay," Spencer says, reaching for the remote. "Wanna watch a movie? I wish I could get mad at her but she looks so cute when she's asleep. Even when it's five minutes after she's completely woke me up."
Ashley giggles and drapes her arm around Spencer' shoulder, pulling her closer. "Let's just watch the movie."
Spencer moved her hips from side to side, trying to keep up with the music.
Ashley was sitting right in front of her, sitting on her hands and grinning like Tim Robbins.
Why, you ask?
Spencer was half-naked and gyrating mere inches in front of her, that's why.
Spencer turns to face her still moving and she bursts out laughing, not able to contain herself. "I feel like such a moron," she mumbles, all nervous laughter and flushed cheeks.
"Don't Spencer," Ashley whines, not wanting the show to end. "You were doing fine."
"You think?" Spencer asks her, brushing her hair behind her ear shyly.
"Duh," Ashley deadpans, reaching out to grab her.
"It's just…I don't feel sexy. I mean, like dancer sexy."
"Trust me Spencer," Ashley starts, tugging the woman to her with little resistance. "I have no complaints."
When I first saw her I thought she was crazy.
The second time I saw her I knew she was crazy.
And the third time, well, I knew it was love.
But, for the record, I still think she's crazy.
"Babe, have you seen my Leprechaun?"
Ashley's not really paying attention so that has to be why, right?
I mean, what other plausible reason would Spencer, her fiancée, be asking her about a leprechaun.
"Huh?" she asks, sitting up on the couch abruptly.
"My leprechaun," Spencer repeats, sounding like she's in the kitchen. "You know, my cereal?"
"Lucky Charms?" Ashley questions loudly.
"Yep, that's the one," Spencer shouts back before there's a loud crash sounding from the kitchen.
"Never mind, I found them," Spencer tells her, coming back into the living room like everything is just fine.
"Uh…where's the cereal?"
"Oh, I put it away. I just needed it for dinner tomorrow."
Ashley can only smile but then she remembers the noise. "What did you do to the kitchen?"
"Nothing," Spencer answers quickly, guilt flashing across her face. "Except…well, you remember how you said you wanted to take down that old cabinet by the fridge? I did it for you baby."
Ashley rolls her eyes and smiles in spite of herself, pushing off of the couch and grabbing Spencer to go with her.
"Where are we going?"
"To Home Depot."
Blinded By Beauty
"Okay, stop pushing me," Spencer said, laughing good-naturedly afterwards. "I can't walk that fast."
"Sorry, baby," Ashley grimaced, running around to the front of her. "Are you okay? What am I asking; of course you're not okay. You must be in pain. Oh man. Oh man."
"Ashley," Spencer giggled, reaching out for her wife. "Calm down and breathe sweetie. Now, I'm not hurting too much but we do need to get to the hospital quickly. Call a cab."
"They're going to take too long," Ashley shakes her head, vetoing that idea. "I'm gonna drive."
"Ashley, no," Spencer protests, feeling a contraction coming on. "You can't drive."
"I've got my license."
"You're legally blind."
"I can see just fine," Ashley fires back, hustling them to the car. "You're not having our baby in the driveway."
So, after an erratic drive down the expressway and guided by love and Spencer's screams they finally made it to the hospital, with only a few minutes to spare but it was all worth it when the doctor handed first one, then another baby to them.
"I'm so proud of you," Ashley whispers, dropping several little kisses to the crown of Spencer's head, smiling down at her wife as she cradles their two children.
That's the only thing she'll ever need to see.
Bonnie & Claudia
"Hey, hey…how about right there?" Ashley asks, pointing out of the window of their car.
There's a woman walking alongside the road, one baby in a carrier strapped to her front and two other kids hanging off her arm.
"Yeah. She'll do," Spencer says, pulling over.
"Hey!" Ashley yells out of the window, tossing out a plastic bag full of cash. "Spend it wisely!"
"So, we're like your modern day Robin Hoods?" Spencer asks her, peeling off down the street before anyone can make the car.
"Altruism at its finest baby."
Spencer smiles, tossing the magazine aside and rushing up to peek out of her window blinds.
Down in the lot she can see the motorcycle just pulling up, the rider snatching off her helmet and kicking down the stand.
Ashley takes out her cell phone and clicks a few numbers, putting the device up to her ear and Spencer's grin widens when she feels her back pocket vibrate.
"Hello," she answers, trying to keep the smile out of her voice.
"Hey babe," she watches Ashley say, the brunette smiling even as she towels her greasy hands off on a bandana. "You ready to go?"
"Just about. That's a pretty big smile you're wearing there."
Ashley looks up to her window and spots her, her smile softening as her face heats up.
"I could say the same to you," Ashley whispers into the phone, eyes locking onto the blonde's. "Now, hurry up. I want to go scare the crap out of your brother by showing up with you on the back of my bike."
Spencer ends the call and ducks out of the window, zipping up her leather jacket and putting on her specially designed helmet.
My BFF's Wedding
It's moments like these when Ashley really dislikes the fact that her parents were so modern.
The minutes are ticking by soundlessly because every clock in their house is digital and that just makes this moment that much more oppressive.
It helps that Spencer's right here with her though, head held high and holding onto her hand like Ashley might just slip away if she doesn't.
She actually wouldn't mind that too much right now. What with the way her mother is staring at her as if she'd said she'd just given birth to a baby condor.
"I said," Ashley starts again, holding on tighter. "That I'm with Spencer now."
Christine blinks owlishly, the cocktail glass in her hand sweating as she held it, unmoving. "But…honey, Spencer's a woman," the older woman states quietly like the brunette doesn't know.
Ashley scoffs, her cheeks turning pink. "I know that, Mom. God." Spencer gives her a small smile and Ashley rolls her eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes Ashley, they'll get stuck that way," Christine admonishes in such a mom-like tone, it makes the other two laugh.
"Alright, so I just lost a little cool mom points with my initial comment, but, if this relationship is one you want to pursue honey, then it's fine by me."
"I mean, it's not like I didn't experiment a little back in my day too."
Spencer almost cackles and Ashley's jaw drops comically. "Mom."
"What?" Christine shrugs, taking a small sip of her mixer. "I went to Brown. Everybody was doing it."
Having My Baby
Ashley could hear quiet crying on the other side of the door and she tried again (in vain) to wrench it open.
Sighing in defeat when the door wasn't somehow magically unlocked through sheer willpower, Ashley let her forehead press against the wood panel. "Spence…"
"Ashley, I am not going. People are going to stare at me like I'm some kind of freak and then I'll start breaking chairs like Gwyneth Paltrow did in that one movie with the School of Rock guy."
"Spencer, that's ridiculous. No one is going to stare at you. Now, would you please, let me in?" Ashley mumbles, jiggling the door handle again.
She only got sniffles in response.
"You…called…me….ridiculous." Spencer chokes out in between sobs.
"I did not call you ridiculous. I said that your theory was ridiculous and this situation is getting ridiculous. Now, either let me in the bathroom now so I can hug you and kiss you and tell you that you're the most beautiful mother to be in the world or stand back while I break the door down."
Ashley waits a few seconds but finally the lock clicks and she wastes no time in rushing into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Spencer's sitting on the closed toilet, her pants (her recently acquired three sizes too big pants) were unbuttoned across her swollen tummy.
Ashley walked over to her girlfriend, dropping to her knees right in front of her. "Baby, we're going to be late for dinner."
Ashley interrupts her with a kiss, her hands coming to rest on the blonde's stomach. "I love you. Okay? And I love these little babies that are growing inside of you. I love your laugh and your smile and your mind. And, all the things you really hate right now I love because it's all connected to you and I love you."
Spencer's pouting lips turn up into a shy smile. "Yeah?"
"Definitely," Ashley smiles back. "We'll get you some maternity pants on the way and I'll kick anyone who looks at you too long in the throat."
"Even if it's my mother?" Spencer grins, letting Ashley take hold of her hands to help her up.
"Especially if it's your mother."
"Glen, go get Spencer and Ashley. Dinner's almost ready," Paula says, setting out the last of the silverware.
Glen grumbles because of course since he was the only one here without a date his mother had seen fit to make him her personal errand boy. He pushes up off the sofa, rolling his eyes as Todd Collins throws yet another interception and trudges out of the back door, eyes searching for his sister and her girlfriend.
He had to admit that he'd had his doubts about this whole Ashley and Spencer thing, especially when you tie in all the factors of them meeting one another, but, they'd made it work. Or, at least, they'd lasted – which is more than he can say of any relationship he'd been in.
They're not immediately where he can see them, but he can hear them and they haven't cottoned on to his arrival, even though his feet are crunching the leaves beneath them.
They're in their old tree house, and Spencer's recounting story after story of how much trouble they'd gotten into in that place.
"…and here's where Glen fell and knocked out his two front teeth. Luckily they weren't his permanents or my mom might've knocked out a few more herself."
"I can totally see her doing that," Ashley says, running her hands over the aging woodwork. "How old was he?"
"Like seven, I think. He talked like Cindy Brady for like three months, though."
Ashley giggles and reaches for Spencer's hand, tugging her toward her. "C'mere."
"What?" Spencer smiles coyly, her eyes twinkling in the low light of a late November day.
"Can I tell you a secret?"
Spencer's smile turns softer and she brings her hands up to wrap around Ashley's shoulders. "Tree houses are made for secrets."
Ashley's eyes turn serious and she squeezes Spencer momentarily before forging on, her arms wrapped around her tightly. "I want to marry you," she whispers, and she's holding Spencer so tightly she can feel as well as hear the blonde gasp. "Can I?"
Spencer's stunned expression gives way to a beaming smile and glistening, happy eyes, and she throws her head onto Ashley's shoulder, hugging her and kissing her with the fervor of someone whose life depended on it.
She never got to answer though, because Glen bursts into the tree house, sobbing and wrapping them up in a huge bear hug. "Of course you can," he blubbers.
They kissed long and hard, the crowd woo-ing and clapping and yelling.
The little kids on the swings blew out bubbles from the wands they were given and all the tiny orbs floated on the light breeze.
Spencer pulled back from Ashley, her eyes shining even more when Ashley's nose crinkles in that adorable fashion. "We di it," she whispers, holding on tightly to Ashley's hands.
"We did," Ashley whispers back, turning around to face their audience.
The entire neighborhood was in attendance, whooping in hollering like it was a contest and as they made their way down the clearance that was their aisle, they were bombarded by tiny pieces of candy.
Thankfully, it was all gummy candy.
A Minor Twist
It had taken a little longer to get to San Francisco than she'd anticipated, but when she finally did, boy was it ever worth it.
She'd ditched those boyish clothes and finally grew out her hair and Ashley couldn't get over how beautiful she was, even more so.
And they walked down the street holding hands and people gave them second glances but never third or fourth ones.
And they bought a house together and shopped together and went to dinner together and she'd never been freer to just…be ever before in her life.
And then they went to their first gay pride parade.
"Oh my God," Ashley gasped, discreetly pointing to the ass-less chaps man. "Look, Spencer."
"I see," Spencer laughs, tugging the brunette closer to her. There were a lot of people around.
Ashley looks over at Spencer, smiles at the look in her girlfriend's eyes. "I am so unbelievably happy I met you," she says, her voice nary higher than a whisper but Spencer hears her, the conviction in her tone rising over the din.
The blonde smiles, tugging her close and planting a kiss on expectant lips.
Deal of a Lifetime
Glen's walking just a few paces ahead of them, pretending the giant stick he'd picked up off the ground is a sword.
"How'd Johnny take the news?" Ashley asks, brushing her bangs out of her face.
Spencer shrugs, not really wanting to get into it. "He was cool. Said he was happy for me."
"That's good," Ashley says, nodding slightly. "I meant what I said, Spencer," she tells her quietly, not wanting Glen to overhear. "We both have demons. It's not going to be easy."
Spencer reaches over to grasp Ashley's hand, intertwining their fingers and smiling gently. "Good thing I don't do easy."
Dance With Me
Kyla's toweling off, panting lightly as the music is finally switched off.
Aiden collapses next to her, collapsing onto the mat and crossing his legs Indian style.
Ashley walks over, towel around her neck and water bottle at her lips. "Great class, yeah?"
"How…are you…still standing?" Aiden breathes, his tank top soaked through. "She's trying to kill us."
Ashley grins and jumps when a hand is unexpectedly suddenly at her hip. "How are you guys doing?"
"My legs are jell-o," Aiden says, putting his palms flat on the mat. Kyla collapses finally next to him, having finally caught her breath. "We're deader than dead but this one," she says, pointing at Ashley. "…must be a freak of nature or on crack because she's hardly breaking a sweat."
Spencer grins, her grip on Ashley's hip tightening as she subtly turns her head to the brunette, catching Ashley hiding a smile behind her water bottle. "Must be all those private dance lessons," she drawls, barely concealing anything.
"Must be," Ashley says, her eyes sparking dangerously.
"Uh oh," Kyla says, popping up instantly. "Eye sex. Last time I saw this I saw a side of my sister that one related to her should have never seen."
"Cool," Aiden grins, leering up at the pair before Kyla rolls her eyes and drags him away.
Aiden and Ashley both look to the door to see a positively fuming Glen standing there, his hand flat against the oak slab he'd just slammed open.
"Start. Running," he grits out before lunging at her.
"Uh oh," Ashley says, moving behind her desk, using Aiden as a shield.
"What is your problem, bro?" Aiden asks, deftly avoiding Glen's attempts to grab Ashley.
"Uh, I dunno," Glen sardonically replies, tilting his head. "Maybe the fact that Ashley is screwing my little sister."
Ashley frowns. "Screwing is such a harsh term," she says and he growls before lunging for her again.
They all swivel to find Spencer in the doorway now, hands on her hips and nostrils flared.
"Get out of here, Spencer."
"No, you freaking lunatic," she grumbles, stepping into the office and closing the door. "Sorry about this, Ash. It just slipped out and before I knew it I'm chasing my brother down the street in my AVEO."
"Don't apologize to her," Glen squeals, affronted.
"Glen. Listen to me. Yes, Ashley and I are sleeping together. But, that's not all it is," she tells him, keeping her voice calm and speaking slowly so that he can actually follow.
Pissed off Glen is very black and white.
There is no gray.
Aiden looks to Ashley curiously and the brunette's cheeks warm up under the scrutiny.
"Well," Spencer corrects, catching the look and misinterpreting. "At least for me."
Ashley feels Glen's eyes on her and she rolls hers, not really wanting to do this in front of him. But, she wants even more to wipe that look off of Spencer's face.
She walks over to the blonde, standing in front of her and Spencer smiles faintly, eyes staring directly into her own. "It's so much more than that to me Spencer," she tells her, pressing closer so that their foreheads are pressed together. "So much more," she repeats, her voice trembling with emotion. "I love you."
You Don't Know My Name
"Okay, okay, wait. I don't get it," Spencer says, sitting next to Ashley on the brunette's couch.
Madison's on the floor, sitting Indian-style in front of them and she groans at having to pause the DVR yet again.
"What don't you get?"
"So, after all that build up for Brittany and Santana and verbal smack down of Brittany by the boy in the wheelchair, we're supposed to believe that she's magically in love with him after he gives her what was probably a lice-infested comb?"
Ashley snickers and Madison just groans, not liking the judgment shining through Spencer's tone.
"It's not supposed to make complete sense, Spencer," Madison explains patiently. "It's a comedy set in high school. Nothing about that sentence should scream practicality."
"Sorry," Spencer murmurs, hiding a grin. "It must be the lawyer in me speaking up again."
"Well, please tell her to shut up because if I have to pause my show one more time…" Madison grumbles, pressing play on the remote.
The characters on the screen come to life, and Ashley scoots in closer to Spencer, tucking her legs underneath her as her head rests on the blonde's shoulder.
Spencer leans her head on Ashley's and the two hold hands, watching the drama unfold as Brittany talks to her Ken and Barbie.
"And how old is she actually? Because they're treating her like a ten-year old and if that's the case the whole thing with Artie is really freaking creepy."
Madison groans loudly.
The light is beginning to fade and the brightness more or less dims, and she feels as though she's moving but, looking down, her feet are still planted firmly on the ground.
"Ashley, is that you?"
It finally settles; the whirling images around her and she sees the sun, the flowers in full bloom on either side of her.
And she sees her, standing there looking as radiant as ever in a long white flowing sundress, a halo of daisies propped onto her long blonde hair. "There you are. What took you so long?"
Ashley smiles and takes a step to her, finding her pace quicker than it had been of late and the soreness in her limbs completely gone. "I've only been gone a little while," she says, catching up to Spencer and lacing their fingers together, her hands devoid of the wrinkles her years on earth afforded her.
"Feels like longer," Spencer tells her, smiling brightly and brushing some of Ashley's brunette curls out of her face. "I love you," she says, leaning in to give her a kiss.
"I've always loved you," Ashley echoes, holding onto the love of her life in their garden.