I honestly didn't know what to do next. All I could think of was her blood on my hands, her eyes closed and her breathing labored.
What did I do?
Tears sprouted from her eyes as she gazed up at me , her eyes reflecting so much pain. It hurt to know that I was the one who caused those usually glowing brown eyes that much pain, I just had to look away.
I caught her whisper.
I swallowed the forming lump in my throat and refused to look at her, to even acknowledge her presence at the moment.
If I did, I would've backed out...
I wouldn't have been able to do it.
My eyes grew moist as I pictured the first time we shared our first kiss, the first time she gave her innocence away, to a monster like me no less.
The first time she smiled at me, and let me hold her close to my heart...
Where she would always be.
She'd be back right?
She wouldn't die on me now...right?
She promised me that she'd always be by my side, that she would never leave me so...
She wouldn't just let death take her away from me right?
Don't leave me...
"Inuyasha, why can't you see? We can never be.. I'm no longer part of the living...Let me be. Go back to her. The girl..."
She paused looking down on me with a genuine smile, a sad one but a real one.
I shook my head and pulled her in my arms.
"No! I love you, I'm promised to you, I can't have you leave me again!"
She laid her chin on my shoulder giving a light, tired sigh.
"Please just leave me Inuyasha."
I shook my head again and held onto her tighter.
"I can never leave you..."
I gazed down at the woman in my arms intensely.
"I love you Kikyo."
It was the only way to have her back.
I decided already...
I chose and it wasn't her...
"Inuyasha? Where are you taking me?"
I clutched onto her calves tighter as we glided in the air.
I heard her sigh, "can you be even more descriptive?"
"It's okay, I trust you."
For a few minutes, my mind cleared as I processed her words.
It's okay. I trust you.
She trusts me.
She trusted me and what did I do?
I let her down...
I caressed her cheek, the pads of my thumb stroking her soft skin.
She looked so beautiful under the moonlight, ethereal, like an unattainable goddess.
Her soft, raven waves framing her heart shaped face, her lips parted slightly as if in awe and a light blush painted her cheeks.
I pulled her against me and burried my nose in her hair.
I heard her let out a surprised squeak from the sudden action.
"Please forgive me..."
Before she could raise her eyes to look at me, it was done.
I did it.
The metalic scent of her blood spilling over my claws.
I whimpered remembering her expression.
Why did I do it?
I'm a monster...
I betrayed her.
I arched a skeptical brow as the young miko across me stuttered, blushing profusely.
I rolled my eyes.
"What is it wench?"
She directed a hard glare towards my direction.
"I'm tryingto say it okay?!"
Damn she was annoying.
"Well, you're taking too damn long! Just spit it out!"
I saw her clench her fists and she marched over to me poking my chest with every word.
"I LOVE YOU! Are you happy now?"
She gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. I froze up.
So many emotions stirred in me, shock, happiness, and something else I just couldn't quite figure out.
"Please don't hate me..."
She had her eyes cast to the ground, refusing to look at me.
Why would I ever hate her?
I took her in my arms whispering her name before pressing my lips against hers. They were just like I imagined them to be, soft and sweet.
Just like her.
How could I have done this to you?
What would happen when the runt finds out?
When Sango and Miroku and the rest of them figure out that I was the one who did this to you?
Come back to me...
I still refused to return her gaze, until I heard her whisper my name.
I swallowed hard before glancing at the dying girl.
My jaw dropped.
Did...Did she just...? What? Why? How?
The corners of her lips lifted up to form her legendary smile.
I didn't deserve it.
"I--I still love you..."
My hands shook.
Her eyes closed, she was trying to hide the pain, her glittering tears.
"Kikyo proved her love for you with death, now...now I can prove my love for you too right?"
A forced laugh fell from her lips and he flinched.
"I guess we're more alike than I thought. Kikyo and I..."
She trailed off as a tear slid down.
"We'll both die for you. She died because of her love for you and me, I'll die for my love for you..."
"J--Just don't forget me, that's all I ask."
Was..Was he crying?
She kept the smile on her face. Just for him.
I still didn't deserve it.
"You--you shed a tear for me."
His head spun and memories replayed over and over again.
"You do the same thing, all the time."
Another forced laugh.
Her head fell back and she was...
She looked so tired, so frail and pale.
And yet, the smile was still in place.
Just for him.
He rocked her body back and forth on his lap.
She left him...
Never, he'd never forget her.
He placed the single lily on top of her grave.
She always did love lillies. They were fragile and innocent, just like her.
She was put to rest right next to the Goshinkobu tree, where they first met.
She was never coming back.
Why had he done it?
He missed her. So much.
Her, and her legendary smiles, her, and her petal soft lips.
He looked towards the direction his name was called.
She laughed, running towards him.
All he could do was smile back.
This was what he wanted right? To be with Kikyo? He did all of this to be with her right?
Why wasn't he happy?
"Inuyasha, what's bothering you?"
He glanced down at the woman in his arms.
It felt wrong.
He felt dirty, he was holding the wrong woman. He chose the wrong woman.
It felt as if he was betraying her even more. Kagome...
His eyes flickered over to the grave and something played against his ear.
It sounded like her,
It was her...
It even felt like her.
He returned his gaze to Kikyo. Time seemed to stop for a second.
The legendary smile.
Tears welled up at the corners of his eyes and he lowered his head to press his lips against hers. They were just the way he remembered them.
Soft and sweet...
The warm sensation that pooled in his stomach when their lips touched suddenly disappeared.
Be happy with her...
He pulled away.
Kikyo smiled, a smile so familiar he felt his heart jump from the sight of it. It reminded him of the past Kikyo, before everything happened.
Maybe he could never forget about Kagome and maybe he could never love anyone else as much as he loved her. Her glowing eyes and sparkling smile will always be in both his heart and his mind. Maybe she already passed on, but he knew deep down that she did keep her promise...
She was still beside him, he could feel it, feel her near.
You came back...
And he still didn't deserve her.
Author's Note: Good lord that was horrible, you can't blame me if there was any mistakes or if it was the worst fanfic you ever read I wrote this rushing in 3:29 AM on a school night..Er day...Er...whatever!