How to get the Girl of your Dreams

a Blog entry by Gregory H. Sanders lady-killer extrordinare

So, here I am poised at my keyboard once again, ready to dig deep into my well of knowledge to help the less informed.

I realize that not every man out there has as much luck with the ladies as I do. I know that for a fact because the majority of the comments on my last post were something like why don't you do a piece on girls? Or "gee Greg, your knowledge of science is impressive, but there are no posts about you your life or your love life...I think your just another geek at his computer unable to get a date." That was the one that got my goat. I'll have you know I get lots of ladies, I just choose not to write about it. I don't think any of my dates would appreciate having our evenings out written play by play on line, so lonely geeks can live vicariously through my posts. Here I thought you people were reading my blog to learn something about the exciting world of forensic science. Oh well, here you go...

Women love a confident man, one who is sure of himself but not cocky. But that doesn't matter if you are really good looking, or have some other redeeming feature, right? WRONG, no cocky at all got that tiger?

A sense of humor is a must, no lady wants a man who's only jokes begin with "Knock knock." If wit is not your forte, at least give it a try. Who knows she may find your attempt "kind of cute."

Try being vulnerable once in a while, show her your warm fuzzy side sometimes. No woman wants a man who is high and mighty all the time. If your sick (even if it's only the sniffles) let her take care of you. They have a nurturing side, let them use it!

I find women like my unique style, try being yourself and if she really likes you, you'll know she really likes YOU. You know what I mean.

There are a slew of other words in my extensive vocabulary I could suggest trying out, words like

gentle, polite, empathetic, responsible, trustworthy. Think of the qualities you want in a best friend, and make sure she can see them in you.

There, there are some tips, not a lot of them, but just so your satisfied here are some tips on how you can tell if she is interested in you, just so no one can say I didn't leave them satisfied wink, wink.

If she pretends she can't hear you and leans in closer, or if she watches your lips while you are talking, it may be because she is thinking about doing something else with those lips...

The inner wrist and the back of the neck are vulnerable places, they are also erogenous zones, if your seeing a lot of them, chances are she wants to see more of you. It also means she trusts you, so make sure you don't betray that trust!

Okay there you go, I hope that is good enough for you, anonymous poster who thinks I don't have a life outside my lab-coat!

Greg finished his post and put his head down on his desk, the truth was he hadn't had a date in about a year. He just didn't want all of cyberspace to know.

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The next night Nick was cornered in the break room by his two female colleagues.

"I told you! I really don't have any time to date right now. I would appreciate it if you would stop looking at me like I was on a stud farm. I'm sure all of your friends are lovely but, the night shift at a crime lab is not really date friendly." Nick was tired of the women's week long attack on his love life. "And what's with the sudden interest in seeing me attached?"

"Well Nicky, your not getting any younger." Said Sara through an innocent smile.

"I think what she means is we haven't heard about any ladies lately, and we are just concerned for you happiness." Catherine tried her best to soothe her slightly ruffled coworker.

"Thanks for looking out for me and everything but I don't think I want to be out in the game right now."

"Well howabout you tell us what your looking for and then we'll leave you alone."

"So all I have to do is tell you what I want in a girl and you'll stop trying to set me up with everyone you know?"

"Right, we'll only set you up with women who fit your standards." Sara added brightly. Nick rolled his eyes.

"Fine, they've got to be sweet and clever. I like someone who is intelligent, not just one of those bleach blonde bunnies just looking for a "nice guy," you know the ones. But I do like blondes, tall ones. And they've got to be unique really one-of-a-kind, one with lots of self-esteem. They gotta keep me on my toes. And please, please don't find me somebody afraid to eat! I'm from Texas, we show affection with food! After that I suppose all the normal things. Cute, funny, good with kids, likes animals, you know what everybody wants.

"Gee, sounds like you would have married Greg by now." Said Catherine with an eyebrow raised.

"I just might if it'll keep you and Sara off my back!" Nick responded in semi annoyance as he left the room.

"Did you hear what I heard?" Catherine asked as soon as her friend was out of earshot.

"Yeah, he said "they" or "them" and not "she" I think there's something Nick's not telling us."

"Hm, I think Greg may actually stand a chance."