A/N: I wrote this one today, and I originally thought that I'd post it to ourcharts, which I did, but it seemed a bit wrong not to post it here too, so here it is. I hope you like it and I hope you let me know what you thought about it, thanks :)
It was a mistake, that's what Shane kept telling herself when leaving the house that morning. She had been sneaking out houses more than enough times in her life, but rarely from the one she lived in. She had took her jacket, cigarettes and car keys before slowly opening the door and getting out. She got to her car and started driving, at this point it really didn't matter where she'd go, nowhere was far enough. Nowhere was close enough.
Shane started thinking about the way her last night's lover had been laying her bed when she left. Her usually pale cheeks blushing, her eyes closed so that her eyelashes sent a shadow to her reddish cheeks, her black long hair mushy and still feeling like silk, spread around the pillow that she had almost buried her face into. Most of her body was under the covers but the curve of her shoulders could be seen and before she had known what she had been doing, Shane had placed a kiss to her shoulders, almost to her neck. Jenny's skin was so smooth, perfect under her fingertips. That was the moment it hit her home; Jenny. Her best friend was in her bed, naked, exhausted from all the lovemaking they had had during the night. Lovemaking? No. Sex. Drunken sex. That's another thing she tried to keep telling herself while driving around the town. It hadn't meant a thing, it was just a bad day turned into an amazing night that they both had need to keep them from going insane. That's all it was.
Shane lit a cigarette and shook her head. It was very possible that she had just ruined one of the most important, working, relationship in her life. Damn her for knowing better but not acting on it. And Jenny… Shane didn't want to think about it. They weren't the kind of people that would just go on and pretend that nothing ever happened, but could they just leave it past them when it had felt so good and had been coming for so long. She had never deliberately thought about her friend and roommate like that, but she couldn't deny that there hadn't been times when sleeping with her after a nightmare, her or Jenny's, she hadn't wished that she'd have that feeling of holding, and being hold by someone through the night, every night. Jenny was warm and soft and there was something very cooling in the voice of her breathing while being asleep. Shane hoped to whatever greater force there was that Jenny wouldn't wake up feeling like crap. Specially about her sneaking out like that right after sunrise. She had never been woman enough to take the consequences as they came, she rather ran away from them and avoided them as long as she could. There rarely was anyone who'd care enough to actually hold her responsible for her actions towards other people.
She lit another cigarette and another and one more after that before pulling up to some beach she hadn't been at before. Shane leaned against the wheel and groaned. Her head hurt, her limbs hurt, every single place in her body was sore, some in a better ways than others, but nevertheless. After sitting there in silence for awhile she got out of the car and walked down the beach, the sand finding its way in her shoes and the sunshine hurting her eyes. The wind got her shivering and the smell of the sea made her nauseous. She dropped to her knees on the sand and let the tears run down her cheeks. She didn't have enough energy to actually cry or even sob, but the tears she couldn't hold back. Her life was a mess by her own making as well as the circumstances. She had dealt with the foster homes, the absence of a father, being a prostitute of some sort, getting her heart broken and people screw her over, but she still was what she was, the reality made clear by his father who had abandoned his wife and son, and her for that matter, just when she was getting to know and trust him. She had hurt the person she had thought would be the one to spend the rest of her life with and she had ran away, for the millionth time in her life. When she had finally came back Shane had found two of her friends in a serious fight over their daughter, one in a hospital after an abortion gone wrong, one penniless and living with the one who was addicted to her depression medicine and one beaten and hurt in a dark and cold house, alone and afraid, needing more help than she did.
Shane and Jenny had come a long way during these couple of months. They had got their acts together and helped their friends with theirs and they had even started dating again, little by little, though they still mainly spent time either around each other or with the rest of the gang. They had grown closer and shared things that the others didn't know about. Shane had gone back to work at WAX and Jenny was in the middle of her new book, which Shane had had the privilege to see and read. Jenny had looked like the moon had just fell to her feet after Shane had told her friend that she thought the book was amazing. Unlike the others it wasn't really about Jenny herself, but the complicated world of women, gay women to be exact. How one day you wake up and notice that your whole family is build from your friends and how all your friends happen to be women. It was smart and woke up questions about the way they lived their lives which seemed to roll around love and lust towards the people that you shouldn't be feeling them for. Shane wondered if Jenny had been reading her mind while writing it.
Two hours later Shane finally found herself at the Planet where she was happy to see Kit sitting in a table with Angus. She wasn't so happy about seeing them right then, but if Kit was up and walking it wouldn't be long now that she'd be up and running the Planet again, which they all had waited for too long. She waved at them and Kit motioned her to come and sit with them. After seeing Shane's reluctance she got it and kissed Angus before sending him to do something else than listening their "girl talk". Shane went to the table and sat next to the older woman.
"Hi baby, what's wrong?" Kit asked and felt it appropriate to smooth Shane's hair a little.
"It's nothing" Shane answered and leaned her elbows against the table. Kit waved to one of her waitresses and in a minute there was two big and strong coffees in front of them. Shane took a sip from hers and sighed, closing her eyes for a second.
"Now try again. What's wrong? And don't tell me that it's nothing, I have eyes girl, I can see that you're a wrack" Kit said and Shane snickered.
"Yeah… you're right, you're absolutely right."
"Tell me about it."
Shane looked up to Kit's face and leaned in to hug her. Kit's arms wrapped around her and Shane had to bite her lip not to start crying again. "Nothing this wouldn't help to" she whispered and Kit's hold tightened.
It took another hour for Shane to get home. She hadn't told Kit the details, just that it was something, the singer had guessed that it was about Jenny, seeing how she was the only one that got to her anymore nowadays, and Shane had told her that it would be okay. After which Kit had told her that it really would, and that time she actually believed it might be.
Shane opened the door, checking the living room for her roommate but not seeing her. She closed the door and almost hoped that Jenny might still be asleep when she heard her voice from the kitchen.
"Um… Yeah. Hi." Shit. She didn't know what to do, but it was probably best to get it over and done with. She threw her keys somewhere and walked slowly to the kitchen, finding Jenny sitting at the kitchen table.
"Hey" Jenny said and gave her friend a slight smile. At least they were still talking. "Where were you, I woke up and you were gone."
"Just, I dunno, around" Shane said and went to the fridge to get something to eat, but there wasn't anything she'd get down without it coming straight back up again, so she just closed the thing and stood there in silence. "Listen, Jenny…" she finally started but Jenny cut her off.
"It's okay, Shane."
Shane turned around to see Jenny still sitting in the chair but the way that she could see her while she was standing. "What?"
"The last night was…" Jenny looked down and smiled, that sweet, almost childlike smile that was so her, before looking up to Shane again. "magical."
Shane didn't know what to say. Jenny was taking it better than she'd thought, but she still wasn't sure about where this was going. Should she try to say something, like it should never happen again, we're friends let's not ruin that… She had never been in a situation where she had had sex with the wrong person and been so keen to still keep them in her life… Well, she had never slept with her best friend before. Unless you count the one when she was 17, but that was another matter all together.
"Didn't you think so? Am I, being too dramatic here or…" Jenny asked and placed her hands to her chest, looking at Shane who's discomfort was shining loud and clear from her face.
"No, I , I mean yeah it was… Jenny" Shane locked eyes with her friend and shrugged. "It was amazing."
The smile was now back on Jenny's face and she stood up. She walked to Shane and hugged her, Shane just resting her head on the smaller girl's shoulder.
"I love you, Shane" Jenny said and rubbed their cheeks together.
"I love you too, Jen" Shane said and closed her eyes.
"You'll always be my best friend."
"Dido" Shane said and pulled back enough to see Jenny's face. "So now what?"
"We're friends" Jenny shrugged. "We live and eat together, we'll get to each other's nerves, we'll laugh and cry and sleep together after a hard day or a horrible dream and we'll be happy."
"Big dreams" Shane said and smiled.
"Not bigger than you they're not. So, friends?" Jenny pulled back and offered her right hand which Shane took and nodded.
"Friends." Then she pulled Jenny back into a bearhug and swing for a moment before laughing and going to living room. They crashed to the couch and later Jenny fixed Shane something to eat, cause that's what friends are for.