Alright, new chapter. After a year(I think) of stalling and dying of highschool, work, and dramatic family issues, I have returned to bring joy into the lives of you helpless people who have nothing better to do with your time then to read fan fiction. But don't worry. I'm one of you.

Tai's POV

LUNCH! Holy Jesus (but pronounced with an h)! This will be my moment of TRIUMPH! After all these years, after all the torture I've indured, I've finally spotted my prey.

Beautiful, amazing, gracious...male.

W T F.

Meanwhile, as I have become one with ice in this hellish world of freezing, flying shit...



Okay. I can understand once. But twice, with the same people, now thats a plot. They must be planning to seduce me. Because I can not understand any other reason that they would want to keep THROWING me to the floor, other than to ravish my beautiful body. The perverted plotting playboys!

"Get. Off. Me."

"Why?" Said the one on the left.

"Beca-" Wait, what? Why?

"Umm, well, if your really going to do this, I rather it be in private. Because really, I dont mind being ravished, but I would rather keep all my goodies hiden away from all the prying eyes of the student body."

"...Ok." Said the one on the right.

So this right-sided clone has the gull to pick me up, sling me over his shoulder, and procced to start to walk out of the caffiteria. What. A. N00b.

"Wait! Hikaru!''

Well, if you thought that my cousin would be the one to come to my rescue, you would be WRONG! It was the other clone. Haruhi was to intranced by my aura, my beauty, my grace...that better be why shes just staring. I hope shes still a she.

Nope. Its the other clone. What a kindhearted, pretty little ginger. Tear tear.

" I thought you only had eyes for me..." Tear, tear.

Wait, no way, no way in hell, OHMIGOSH! That is sooooo wrong....but soooooo right. I think my mind theatre is starting to work up again.


This is for REAL. Who new life could have such amazing gifts. But some times gifts hurt us. Because next thing I know, I'm on the floor, again. Well, what do you know. The only friend I've made today would be the FLOOR! Goodness Gracious Glory Be. I'm a sad, sad creature...why isn't Haru helping me again?


Mammoth-Man-Mori's POV

Once again, shes on the floor. It's like shes trying to make friends with it, but everytime she gets rejected. I'm not surprised. She throws herself at it, she seems desperate. Wait, what? Jeez, what in the world of flying furniture am I talking about?

Hunny starts to run to see it the catty-lady was a.o.k, when he stops dead.

I fear for the worst. Has his legs stopped working? Did he step on a bug? DOES HE HAVE A PAPER CUT? Oh no. How horrid.

Jogging to catch up, he tells me to stop. No way. I-, I-, I THINK HE HATES ME!

And as I'm having this inner sob-fest, I change an glance past him and....


Those ugly monsters are on top of her! What fiends!

Just as I'm about to rush up and rip their penis' off, she gets up, yells, and continues running.

My Lord, thank you for making the creature so stupid that she didn't realize the look that they were giving her.

Slowly, like a lion preying on two little mice, I make my way over. Well actually, it was more like a lion and a lion in a mouse costume, preying on two stupid cats, but lets not get to specific.

As we walk by...


And their OFF! ONE HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR! And the crowd goes wild. Wait...god, please, shut me up.

See, I told you. Shes trouble!

Hunny turns to me now,

"We should probably hurry, they headed the same way as Tai-chan."

And all I can see, is RED.

Honeynut Cheerios POV

Now, a normal person would look at my gentle gaint and think, 'wow he's a gentle giant.' But I can see it. I can see the burning, festering, heated jealously pouring from every sweat gland in his body.

And it makes me happy.

Haha, now don't get me wrong, I love my puppy to bits, but its just nice to see him innerly getting amazingly worked up over something to simple. And who woulda' thought that all I needed to do was find this fun, pretty babe to make his blood boil.

Oh yess. This is going to be scandolous. (evil mind laughter, with flaming dramatic background)

Oh no. This is going to be dangerous.

Walking into the caff. what do we see but the exact same scene, but this time, one of the twins is actually on top of her...sweat.

Slowly I look over at Mori-chan. I CAN'T SEE HIS EYEBALLS! Oh god, please, NO!

Mori-no-Mammoh POV


I hope he can feel the heat, because I am on FIRE!

My whole body, tense, ready to leap to save the victim of the two-headed master mind, I'm stopped by her next words.

"Umm, well, if your really going to do this, I rather it be in private. Because really, I dont mind being ravished, but I would rather keep all my goodies hiden away from all the prying eyes of the student body."

No, NOOOOOOOOO! My dreams! They've been dashed! Trampled and stomped on! Wait, WHAT!? What the hell is wrong with me today. God I TOLD YOU! NOTHING BUT TROUBLE!

But still, I cant help but feel this raging fire within...

maybe its heartburn.


"Hikaru! You cant just drop someone to the floor like that! Look at how tiny she is!" Finally, Man-Haruhi comes to my rescue.

"Whats it to you!" Damn, what an ass. I'll never forgive him for talking to my princess like that!

"This is her! This is my cousin!"


Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Duo-does-a-double 'Ohhh'

And just at that moment, when the world seems like its going to end, I see the fluffy pinkness of love and all things good out of the corner of my eye.

Honeycomb! Mario! They've come to wisk me away! Except for the fact that Mr. Moody has a red face and horns...and the Whore-of-Happiness looks about ready to burst into a mass giggling fit. They wont be any help. Anyway, how does honey find this situation funny! What a CAD!

And just as I'm about to point out that the world of evil revolves around this little boy, WHOOSH!

In comes the two other freaky ones. Mr. European, and Mr. Kiss-my-ass-because-its-so-smooth-because-its-so-fake.

And if you didnt get that, mushroom-man and four-eyes.

Now the party has begun.


Hey guys, sorry its not as funny and great. I had my exam today so I'm wiped, but I felt the urge, so I did it. And I hope it turned out the way that you wanted it to. Thanks a bunch. Lots of love, tay. Oh AND ONE MORE THING! Can you guys please point out the spelling errors! The spell check wasnt working at all, sooo........... THANK YOU