Author's Note: Eithne partially owns some of the ideas in here, partly for inspiring me with her simply uber AU stories and ideas (go read) and partly for coming up with a few 'characters' during a phone conversation we once had. X3
Back Story: This is an AU (alternate universe), set in our day and age. Kabuto attends an international boarding school in England, and is in charge of the foreign exchange student program at his school. This is partly due to his high grades, strong sense of responsibility, and partly due to his pen pals all over the globe. Recently, one of his pen pals, a boy from America, has entered into the program and is going over to his school--and country--for a year. Only there are a few catches…
Quick Note: Okay, this story is based on stereotypes and personal experiences. The thoughts and speech of characters does not reflect my own thoughts on any subject. If you have any problem with either stereotypes or realistic experiences, please do not continue reading any further. There will also be foreign languages, though mostly they'll be explained or you won't be meant to know. This story will also contain yaoi and possibly yuri, in a light sense. There will be guys kissing guys and girls kissing girls. There will also be heterosexual couples. There will be swearing, sexual innuendo and dirty humor. Have I caught the attention of the fangirls yet? XD
The whole thing seemed surreal. Kakashi could hardly believe it, in all honesty to himself and the situation. He wasn't in America. He wasn't in his own country. He was in a foreign place without any parents, teachers, or supervising adults who knew him personally. He was relying on a foreign pen pal to rescue him from the airport terminal, and all of the staring adults. Not to mention the woman at the desk in front of him who wouldn't stop glaring at him.
Kakashi gnawed on his lip, sorely tempted to pull his scarf up over his face. But he would probably get called a terrorist and get shot. Instead he just kept his passport in an iron grip, shouldering his backpack. Damn the weight restriction. You could only bring so many pounds of stuff with you, and then were given a certain monthly allowance to buy the rest of your stuff. For a year. (Worse, most of the clothes he would be wearing would be school uniforms. He couldn't even impress all of the hot foreign kids with his American style.)
Mismatched eyes slid all around the terminal, trying not to get lost in the crowd. Businessmen and women were shuffling around, the occasional tourists (who really did stick out like sore thumbs), and the suited and armed security guards. And he was relying on a foreign pen pal whom he had never met in person to rescue him from this and whisk him away to some magical school, away from parents and problems--and maybe he had been reading too much Harry Potter. Kakashi grimaced, instinctively raising his hand to cover his mouth. Did they read Harry Potter over here, or only did snotty American kids read that stuff? Would it be polite to ask?
Already the panic was setting in, he noted, depressed. Relying on some foreign British kid to rescue him…At least he wasn't alone.
Kakashi looked over to his traveling companion, and his (rather unwilling) partner in this whole escapade. The blonde was currently playing with a lighter, trying to set a nearby woman's skirt on fire.
"Are you trying to get us shot?!" Kakashi brought his fist down on top of Deidara's head, and instantly the blonde dropped the lighter to protect himself from further assault. "This is an airport! You don't play with fire in a fucking airport!"
"Hey, hey!" Deidara squawked, running into the crowd for protection. Kakashi chased after him, determined to cram that lighter down his throat--and any other hidden ones he had smuggled along with him. The two students zigzagged in between people in the Heathrow terminal, sliding in their shoes on the polished floor. People shot them dirty looks and yelled at them, but the anxiety from the flight and customs was channeling into their running, and blocking their hearing. Deidara made for the nearest escalators, and Kakashi swore loudly and in a very American way. (Or so he assumed.)
The blue-eyed blonde vaulted over the side of the fence keeping people from falling down a floor, landing on the escalator halfway down. There were a bunch of shouts and screams, and Kakashi almost stopped, honestly debating whether or not to disown him.
After a moment's hesitation, however, Kakashi decided to save his friend. And whoever the poor guy had landed on.
Kabuto sighed, running a hand through his light locks. The first day was always the most stressful with these kinds of programs. But at least he knew what this one looked like--no more annoying signs to lug around.
Kakashi Hatake. Should be a few good centimeters taller than me, light grey hair…American…Of course, Kabuto really hadn't met that many Americans, even being in charge of the foreign exchange student program at his rather large school. People (usually the snobby, stereotypical kind, but still) said that Americans could be spotted in a crowd, but how, he had no idea.
He glanced down at the picture Kakashi had sent him for reference. The boy was a year older than him, and had that natural charm and charisma that made him perfect for these kinds of things. Programs, really. Kabuto blushed a bit, smiling to himself. He and Kakashi had been 'dating' over the internet (a thing he insisted was quite common in the U.S.), but this would be the first time they met face to face. It was more than a bit unnerving, and of course there was more at stake than just international stereotypes and manners.
He was startled out of his reverie by an impatient clearing of the throat. Sasori eyed him, a bit warily, his brown eyes lidded as always. Kabuto grinned at him. "I'm just looking at the picture again. For reference."
"C'est vrai, I'm sure," the redhead mumbled, averting his eyes. He was a foreign exchange student as well, though he was staying for three years total--this would be his second year in England. His English was impeccable, though when he got excited or started talking quickly his accent got pretty thick, and he commonly used French words and phrases. Kabuto was slowly learning the language from him as well, mostly out of necessity from being his roommate.
Kabuto was just glad that Americans and the English at least shared a common language. For the most part, at least. No more annoying language barriers. With that as a reminder, though, he silver-haired boy remembered that he had two Japanese students coming in during Christmas break…
"Have you seen anyone that would look like him?" he asked casually, scanning the crowd. No one stood out--definitely no one with as light as hair as Kakashi.
"Non. You would think that someone with cheveux blancs would stick out in a massive crowd," Sasori said. His accent was beginning to surface, and he was starting to use more French words. Kabuto raised an eyebrow, surmising that the redhead was getting nervous at meeting Kakashi. Probably from all of the things Kabuto had told him about the American, but that was beside the point.
"He doesn't have white hair…it's more…light grey," he muttered, still looking around in the crowd. There was some yelling down the terminal, but that was probably the norm. After all, Heathrow was a large, international airport, and it was somewhat inevitable that there would be arguments and fights between people.
Unfortunately, the fight seemed to be coming towards them, or at least the volume was increasing. Kabuto frowned; couldn't people just get along? Hopefully the security guards would break it up soon, and send whoever those trouble-makers were to jail.
Sasori's half-lidded stare was steadily slipping into a glare. Kabuto knew the French student didn't like crowds, and unfortunately he was true to his nationality; he liked foreigners even less. Foreigners en masse, at least. Kabuto gave him a reassuring smile, still looking around for Kakashi. Maybe he should see if they could page him over the PA system…
Security guards were now running past them, towards all of the yelling and screaming. But not moments later, the crowd broke apart and two figures came barreling out. Kabuto, who had half-turned to look back at the disappearing guards, managed to jump back to avoid a collision. Sasori was not so lucky. A blonde slammed into him with enough force to send them both flying, sliding on the polished floors into the nearest wall. Kabuto's hand slapped over his own mouth to stop him from shouting--or laughing. Several guards were still in pursuit, though seemed to have lost their blonde target due to the sudden redhead trying to untangle himself from him.
"Sapristi! Condamne-tu! Descendre-tu, maintenant! Descendre de moi, touriste stupide! Idiot!" Sasori was practically snarling and spitting, turning red enough to match his hair. Several passerby snickered at the scene, and Kabuto glanced around for any remaining guards. They seemed to have passed on, or at least missed the collision. Which was probably for the best; no need to be causing an international incident.
Whoever had narrowly missed Kabuto had now jumped into the fray, shouting desperately, "Deidara, get off of him, get off, he doesn't sound happy, you're going to get us shot!" The guy tugged his blonde friend free of an irate Sasori, who jumped up a moment later, looking venomous. Kabuto did a double-take, however--not because of his roommate's expression, but because of who was apologizing fervently to the redhead. He was taller than any of them, with spiked, light grey hair and wearing obviously American clothes.
"Kakashi?" Kabuto asked in disbelief. The American student turned in mid-sentence, looking surprised. His face lit up, however, when he recognized his pen pal.
"Kabuto? Is that…is that you?" he asked, pitifully hopeful.
Kabuto only nodded dumbly.
Kakashi left the blonde and Sasori, rushing over to embrace his new guide--and boyfriend. "You're here to save me from the blonde menace! Oh thank you, thank you!"
Kabuto didn't quite know how to react to that--wasn't the blonde his friend? What was this about a menace? Unfortunately, Sasori saved him from reacting properly.
"Excusez-moi," he said politely, tugging on the blonde's sleeve. (Kabuto honestly didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl. It looked like a boy, sort of, but then again, it was American.) The unsuspecting victim turned to face him, and Sasori punched the kid in the jaw. Hard. The English teen's own jaw dropped, and he pushed Kakashi away to go restrain Sasori.
"What are you doing?!" Kabuto shouted, dragging the shorter boy backwards out of kicking range.
Kakashi had risen to the challenge of likewise holding back his blonde friend, hissing death threats and more 'are you trying to get us shot?!' under his breath.
Sasori, after flailing a bit, went limp in Kabuto's grasp. The silver-haired teen could have fainted in relief. Honestly, this was not how one was supposed to greet students from another country! "Me libérez, s'il vous plaît," the redhead said sweetly, no doubt glaring daggers at the blonde a few meters away.
"I am not letting you go to continue beating that poor…American," Kabuto replied primly. "Kakashi, I'm so very sorry that our greetings had to be held under these circumstances." He lifted his gaze to Kakashi's, but the taller boy just grinned lazily back.
"No problem. I'm sure we'll all calm down when we get some coffee into our system. Me 'n Deidara are only operating on about three hours of sleep right now; I'll blame our moods on that. We can hold proper introductions after that," he explained, clamping a hand over the blonde's mouth.
Twenty minutes later, the two Americans were ecstatic that England that Starbucks. Kabuto was watching almost in awe as Kakashi guzzled several cups of coffee, after figuring out which coins to pay with. Deidara, if that was the blonde's name, was also drinking coffee like water. The issue of the unexpected guest was…surprising, to say the least. Kakashi had been the only one that was supposed to be coming. So what was with the androgynous blonde?
Wanting to break the silence but almost frightened of interrupting two teens with their caffeine, Kabuto turned to Sasori. The French redhead was still sulking, his own latte completely untouched. He had also reverted to speaking completely his native language, irritatingly enough. Sasori glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, answering before he could ask, "Je n'ai pas besoin de lui."
Kabuto took a moment to figure out what he meant--but finally it hit him. Due to the quirk of other languages assigning genders to inanimate objects, it had confused the Brit when he translated it as 'I do not need him'. Of course he was referring to the drink…though he could mean Deidara as well. Hopefully it was the drink.
"So…again…Sorry about that. Deidara and I were just…running…and we weren't watching where we were going. Sorry…Sasori, was it?" Kakashi's eyes were on his empty cup, not daring look up at either of them. He seemed almost…shy. Kabuto smiled slightly at the sight; he hadn't pegged him as the shy type. Though admittedly, the current situation may have changed that.
"Oui," Sasori replied shortly, glaring at everything but the two sitting opposite them.
"Hmm, yes. Kakashi, this is Sasori, my roommate. He is a French exchange student. He--"
"Je ne parle pas Anglais. Je parle Français seulement," he interrupted, quite rudely. Kabuto raised both eyebrows at what he said, however--which was a blatant lie. Sasori's glare, however, answered him.
Maybe he's just shy at meeting these two and doesn't want to speak to them…? Kabuto wondered, but he also thought that it might've just been wishful thinking. Still, whatever Sasori's reasons were, he may as well go along. For the moment, at least. Plus the redhead was probably so flustered he couldn't speak English very well right now. "…Yes. Sasori is a French exchange student, and he doesn't speak English. I'm, er, trying to teach him some, but right now I'm just acting as his translator."
"Oh. Well, nice to meet you, Sasori." Kakashi gave him a warm smile, to which the redhead just blushed slightly and looked away. "…Right then. Well, you two, this is Deidara. My, uh, somewhat last-minute traveling companion." He stood up, dragging the blonde up alongside him. Kabuto and Sasori also stood up, shaking hands politely.
Kakashi, however, didn't quite seem satisfied with a mere handshake. He grabbed Kabuto around the waist and pulled him into a hug, again, but this time turned and caught his lips in a kiss. Deidara looked simply amazed at the display, but Sasori took it all in stride--probably because the French greeting (albeit usually only for girls) usually had kissing as well. Well, hopefully not kissing like this. After all, this was hardly platonic.
When Kakashi finally let him go--feeling a bit light-headed--Kabuto just stared at him for a long moment. "I've been wanting to do that for awhile now," the American said sheepishly, grinning roguishly. "You may think that's a bit rushed, but we've been 'dating' for a few months now…and hey, I'm American. We love rushing into love."
"…That's alright with me," Kabuto replied, blinking slightly. No doubt he was redder than Sasori's hair, but oh well. He would be willing to pay that price if he could get kissed like that every time he greeted Kakashi.
Speaking of Sasori, it looked like they had come across their first cultural accident.
Either misinterpreting the kiss as a regular greeting or possibly merely wanting to kiss Deidara, the redhead had grabbed the blonde's wrists, yanking him forward, and planted a kiss directly on his lips. They had definitely found out his gender, as he was currently spluttering something about being gay in a very non-feminine voice. Sasori, on the other hand, merely pointed him out to Kabuto, saying, "C'est un garçon."
"What the hell was that?!" Deidara demanded, blushing madly. Sasori, however, was still looking at his roommate.
"J'ai pensé que seulement le Français embrassé dans la salutation," he said skeptically, and Kabuto sighed once he puzzled it out.
Kakashi looked torn between laughing and questioning, but Deidara was thoroughly demanding an answer for that bizarre and totally random kiss. "He said…he just thought that we were greeting each other. He thought that that's how Americans greet each other…" Kabuto explained wearily. Judging from the smug expression on Sasori's face, he had a sinking suspicion that there wasn't quite as much ignorance as he would have liked to believe.
"Well that was gross, yeah. Not to mention gay. Like, really, really gay, yeah," Deidara growled, crossing his arms. Kakashi gave him a pointed look, clearing his throat. The blonde reddened, adding, "I mean…it was just weird, yeah…I know the French are pansies and all, but I don't want to get kissed by every French guy I see!"
"Do you want to get us shot?!"
"…This isn't going to go over very well. We're going to cause an international incident…" Kabuto groaned, running his hand through his hair.
"Oui," Sasori stated blandly, watching dully as Kakashi attempted to throttle Deidara.
"Don't sound so smug about it."