Okay, this is English class assignment for a Classic. I read the Hobbit, and chose to write a poem from Gollum's POV when he shares riddles with Bilbo. R&R, and no flames, please.

Gollum's Hobbit Problem

Sniff, sniff

Does you smell it, preciouss?

I wonders if it's a tasty morsel.


In its handses!

What iss it, presiouss?

Oh, a sword


A riddle, does it like?

Praps it likes riddles

My preciouss

I askes him.

Too easy, precious

We must have competition with it

If precious asks

And the Baggins doesn't answer

We eats it.

If it asks us

And we doesn't answer

We shows it the way out.

I askes it a riddle

It answers in a moment

It challenges with another

I gnash, I hiss

I steam and splutter

But I refuse

To lose.

Now preciouss, iss it juicy?

It can't seem to thinks

But, no, he shouts an answer

And askes just one more.

Ack, itsss pocket!

What iss in his pocketses, preciouss?

I lost, precious

I lost to it

But now is not time

To haves a fit.

We need our

Birthday-present, precious


Where is it, precious?

I knows I left it…


It has it!

Our birthday-present iss in

Baggins' pocketses!

My magic ring,

That hideses you

Like a cat in shadows,

Is gone!

Curse you, Baggins!

There you have it: one of the hardest poems I have ever written.