Hello all! It's my birthday today! I turn 21! So I decided to give you all a present (hobbit style) and post the first chapter in my new Harry/Lucius fic "Mulligan". Hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed working on it. I'm on chapter 11 now and I think I'm over halfway done.
Warnings: a few, but not all warnings added: sexual situations, violence, torture, vaguely implied child abuse.
Summary: Don't want to give too much away: Draco breaks up with Harry. Harry has a plan to fix things, only he doesn't end up where he planned.
Pairings: main Harry/Lucius. Harry/Draco. (possible) side pairings: Lily/James, Remus/Sirius
Note: Plot Bunny given to me by thehappyhouseelf at FictionAlley after I told her my preferred pairing and requested an idea for a Time-Turner fic. This was rather brilliant and a big thank you must go to her! Also thank you to Rokkis, who nagged until I wrote it, as she always does.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and no copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made.
xxx = means change in time, not point of view (though that happens all the time).
Note on title! Definition from Wikipedia: A mulligan, in a game, happens when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action. Title demanded suggested by my sister, Rokkis. Another thanks to her. Ps: mulligan is often used in golf, which my sister plays, that's why she wanted it.
Chapter One: Breaking up and breaking down
"I love you," Harry said as softly as he could, afraid he was going to scare the person across from him away. "I love you," he repeated. He resisted the urge to grab his fork and stuff something into his mouth to get himself to shut up. He didn't, luckily, and instead simply tried to be quiet.
"I love you too," Draco said and smiled a brilliantly charming smile that made Harry almost slump out of his chair in relief. Draco picked up his glass and took a sip of his very expensive wine. Harry watched, trying not to let his adoration show too much on his face. He loved how Draco moved, even how he held a glass. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but right then the waiter came over and Draco started ordering. The blond was good at ordering and always did it, for Harry too, but the former Gryffindor didn't mind, because everything had gone well and Draco loved him. Him! The scruffy-looking, skinny runt who didn't know anything about relationships, had managed to land the posh, aristocratic, gorgeous blond man who had, in the end, had a turnabout and done the right thing, and saved a lot of people. It was almost impossible for Harry to believe he was finally getting something he wanted. He sat back and enjoyed their conversation, even though Draco usually did most of the talking. At least that way Harry didn't make a fool of himself. Draco would always purse his lips ever so slightly when Harry did that, and it was a sure sign Harry would be grovelling for forgiveness. Right now, however, everything was perfect, wonderful. Finally!
That evening, as they kissed and embraced before Draco left – he sadly had to get up in the morning – Harry moaned, "Oh, Merlin, I love you." Draco stopped and pulled back, smiling again; the exact same smile.
"Well, I better go," he said.
"Can you come over after work?" Harry asked.
"I can't," Draco replied. "I'm to visit my father." Harry cringed, sorry for asking. It hadn't been a good subject lately. Well, when had parents been a good subject with Harry?
"I suppose he's upset about the divorce?" Draco pursed his lips, but Harry hoped it wasn't because of him.
"He hasn't spoken about it and I'm worried," Draco admitted.
"I could come too, if you like. We could cheer him up," Harry offered, knowing there was no chance Draco would say yes. Harry and Lucius Malfoy didn't exactly have a smooth past together, and that was putting it very mildly.
"You know, that might be a good idea," Draco said. Harry's eyebrows rose quick as a pair of snitches and his mouth fell open slightly in shock. "I need to talk to him, but afterwards we could all have dinner together at the Manor. How's that sound?"
"Eh… fine?" Harry said, his feigned enthusiasm not making it through by a long shot. Draco didn't even seem to notice his discomfort, which was very odd. Draco usually noticed everything.
"Great. I'll pick you up at five." Draco gave Harry one last kiss and then he was gone. Harry stood still, feeling a bit winded. The evening hadn't gone as he had hoped after all, well, the ending anyway, and now he had a dinner with Lucius Malfoy!
Harry sighed and curled up, snuggling into his bed and trying not to think about tomorrow. But trying not to think about something was even harder now that he was finally in bed. He kept rearranging his position and pillow, but nothing helped. His brain simply would not allow him to sleep before he had well and truly thought himself out.
The first thing he thought about was the last time he had actually seen Lucius Malfoy. It had been at the Last Battle. The man's robes had been torn to shreds and his long hair had been wild. To Harry he had looked like a supernatural villain from a muggle movie; a demon of some kind. His eyes had been glittering as he hurled curse after curse into… his fellow Death Eaters.
Harry hadn't understood it at the time, maybe he still didn't, but Lucius and Draco had defected and helped the war effort. It was mysterious and many had not believed them at all until they gave the one last piece of vital information that Harry used to defeat the bastard. Harry wondered how Lucius had known where the last horcrux was, and how to destroy it, but he had never asked the man. He had also never asked about the man's motives. Lucius Malfoy had had a closed trial, which Harry knew Dumbledore had attended. Only the people inside that court on that particular day knew why Lord Malfoy, Voldemort's number one Death Eater, had been let free without so much as a reprimand. Nothing had even been confiscated from his estates. The whole affair had left Harry confused, but there was just something about the way Dumbledore had looked at him when he told the news that made Harry never want to ask another question as long as he lived.
Draco Malfoy, on the other hand, now that was entirely different. Harry had nagged and bothered him until the blond turned red as a Weasley. Draco finally admitted that he had been trained the good Death Eater's son, but that it had always been an act. Harry had scoffed and rolled his eyes and told Draco no one could plan a whole life like that! Why would Lucius teach his son something like that if he thought the Dark Lord dead and gone for thirteen years? Why would it need to be an act in the first place? Draco had huffed and made noises that suggested he simply didn't know. Then suddenly he had looked at Harry and said quite clearly – and a bit too loudly in Harry's opinion –
"Because I fancy you. There! Is that reason enough?" That had been the rather violent start of their relationship. Violent because Harry had grabbed Draco's collar and kissed him – the only thing he did know about relationships, coincidently.
Now, it had to be said that Harry hadn't been in a good place after the war. So many people he loved had died: Fred, Tonks, McGonagall, Hagrid to name those closest to him. Remus had taken six months just to wake up. Percy Weasley was in Azkaban. Every single person in wizarding Britain had lost someone, and everybody wanted to thank Harry for it. Not because their loved ones had died, of course, not really, but for winning. Harry never saw it as winning. He just saw it as luck and stupidity, something only he and Severus Snape seemed to agree on. He had survived, the others had not.
But Draco hadn't minded. He had just… been there. Waiting while Harry got himself sorted out and established as a Healer's apprentice. Then, when Harry was finally living again, Draco was right there to kiss him again. Things had taken off as if they had never been anything but lovers.
Harry would have never thought that he and Draco would ever be good as a couple. The blond was attractive, and proven brave and powerful, but then Draco had started taking Harry out to dinners and buying him gifts and virtually showering him with his charming self. And let's not forget: buggering Harry to within an inch of his life. Of course, Draco could be prickly at the best of times, but Harry was feeling too good about himself, finally, that he could easily put up with it. Draco, for example, absolutely could not stand any sort of humiliation, even the imagined kind, so Harry learned quickly that jokes were best left unsaid in case anything was read into them. That was fine, he didn't really like jokes anymore anyway.
Hermione had been supportive. She and Ron had tied the knot only after the grieving period had passed. They had three children. Ginny, after she had gotten over the shock, was okay with it as well, and was pregnant with Dean Thomas – with twins.
Draco's parents… now that was a strange situation. Even though Lucius had jumped the fence so to speak, Harry hadn't even contemplated the possibility that Lucius would be okay with his son's choice, but the man hadn't said a word about it, according to Draco. Narcissa was another matter. She seemed to be having the very opposite reaction from her husband, all the way from her cell in Azkaban. And now they were getting a divorce. Was that it? Did Narcissa hate Lucius for not interfering with their son's relationship? Harry couldn't help but feel sorry for Lucius if that was the case.
Again the image of Lucius at the final battle flickered through Harry's mind. The image was of a stronger, broader and - let's face it - more powerful version of Draco, who had always had much of his mother's softer features. Lucius' jaw especially was more prominent, and his whole presence seemed simply to be bigger than his son's, even though Draco was now fully grown. Lucius wasn't a very tall man, but he was taller than his son by at least two inches, and maybe a head or so above Harry, who was always so damn short. His eyes were- Wait.
Why was he contemplating this? Harry shrugged off the thoughts and willed himself to fall asleep. He would worry about Lucius and their dinner – with Draco – tomorrow. He hoped there was an emergency at Hogwarts to keep him there… uh, he hoped there wasn't an emergency at Hogwarts to keep him there and make him late for dinner. Yes. Exactly.
Draco entered Malfoy Manor. It was dark outside and the candles lighted the Entrance Hall, but kept the corners in darkness. Draco was used to it, however, and flung his coat to a house-elf with habitual ease. His shoes clacked against the marble floor as he walked purposefully towards the west-wing's main downstairs sitting room. Lucius looked up from where he was seated on the sofa, a tumbler of something in his hand, one hand poised over the chessboard in front of him.
"I was just about to make my move," he said, his eyes going back to the board as Draco approached. He moved a bishop (they kept their pieces silent at all times) and Draco sat across from his father.
"I did as you requested," Draco said, surveying the board while surreptitiously noting his father's reactions.
"Good." Lucius Malfoy never gave anything away. It would still take decades before Draco was as proficient at hiding his emotions.
"I even made it seem as if Harry had suggested it."
"Really?" Lucius kept his eyes on the board, but Draco was now staring openly at his father.
"Why the 17th, Father?" Draco asked. "Why is this… dinner so important?" The slight pause let Draco suggest he suspected there was something more going on. Finally Lucius looked up, his face blank.
"Can't a lonely man ask for the company of his son and said son's partner?" Draco huffed softly and looked away into the enormous fireplace to his right.
"Doesn't matter. I need to talk to you first, though. It's important, and about Harry… I don't feel like discussing it tonight… I'm too tired…" He looked back at the board. "For this game too, I'm afraid. I'll see you tomorrow evening." With that Draco got up and left without another word, apparating to his own house a moment later. Lucius sat back with his drink and stared after his son.
"Yes, I had a feeling you might be," he murmured into the otherwise empty room.
To Harry's dismay- eh, relief! Nothing more noteworthy than a few bat-bogey hexes happened at school, and he left early to get ready. He didn't live at Hogwarts, as he also had classes at St. Mungo's to attend. He lived in a small cottage about a mile from Godric's Hollow. He never went into town other than on Halloween, but he liked to be close to the place.
After trying on every single robe he owned, including the old dress-robes from his forth year (thank Merlin they didn't actually fit or he would have been seriously depressed), Harry just took the nicest looking muggle clothes he had. Draco constantly tried to make him buy more clothes, but all the outfits Draco had given him he only wore when Draco specifically force- asked him to. Muggle clothes were much easier to shop and wear, at least Harry thought so, and he thought that his nice suit and white shirt made him look more grown-up than he would probably ever feel. Hopefully it would send the right message to Lucius Malfoy: I may love Draco enough to have dinner and dress up, but you will never make me put on dress-robes for you! Ha, that would show him!
A knock and a called, "Harry, you better be ready!" made the young man jump and abandon his search for a suitable tie. He smoothed down his hair, purely out of habit, and hurried down the stairs to meet Draco in the small hallway. Draco was just closing the door behind him, dressed semi-formal as well, though his style was wizarding, as always. He looked Harry over once and proclaimed:
"You are not wearing that." Harry, well used to his boyfriend's frequent clothing decrees, answered with a raised eyebrow.
"I think you'll find that I am in fact, wearing clothes. These clothes."
"Don't be a smartass," Draco said. "You can't wear muggle clothes to dinner with my father, at Malfoy Manor."
"Why not? These are nice enough," Harry pointed out. Draco rolled his eyes as if it was the dumbest thing he had ever heard.
"No one has ever worn muggle clothes in the Manor. It's just not done. My father will have a fit, and all the portraits will probably scream so much you'll be splattered in hundred-year-old paint colours."
"Not that your wit should ever be missed, Draco, but… aren't we late?" Draco gasped and looked as his watch (a muggle one Harry gave him for his last birthday. Harry never said Draco had stopped being hypocritical).
"Shit! Salazar help us, do you want my father to think you are a completely uncouth slob with no sense of style?" Draco asked sarcastically as he dragged Harry over to his own fireplace. Harry was unceremoniously shoved in after some floopowder, making him cough, and Draco stepped in with him and yelled their destination. As usual, Draco had to hold Harry up when they arrived. He also spelled away any ash.
"Draco, I see you've manage to tear away your boyfriend from his important work," Lucius greeted. The fireplace was located in the entrance hall across from the double entrance doors and between two very wide and long staircases leading up and around to the upper-floors. Harry couldn't help but look about in wonder for a moment. Lucius didn't seem to mind letting him.
"Yes, of course I did, Father," Draco said, not noticing Harry's staring at the ceiling. "He's just back from Granger's place, though, you know the muggleborn, so he didn't have time to change-"
"That's perfectly alright," Lucius interrupted, his eyes on Harry, who was oblivious as he took in the painted arched ceiling above them and the chandelier. "If you like, Mr. Potter, I would be delighted to give you a tour." Draco's head snapped around to look at his companion.
"Harry!" he exclaimed, noticing his boyfriend hadn't even greeted the host.
"Oh!" Harry said, coming back. "Sorry, eh, hi, Mr. Malfoy. I- I would love a tour… maybe after dinner." Harry extended his hand and Lucius smiled as he took it.
"Of course. You are welcomed any time." Draco was frowning at the exchange.
"Right," Draco said, trying to get their attention.
"A drink first perhaps? Draco, you said you had to speak with me?"
"Right," Draco repeated, glancing at Harry oddly, who was now staring at Lucius with the same fascination as at the ceiling.
"Well, then perhaps I could show Harry the rose garden and let him wander in it for a moment as we converse?" Lucius offered, locking eyes with Harry. The young man blushed slightly.
"Sure, um, I don't mind."
"Splendid. I'll meet you in my study, Draco," Lucius said, extending his arm. Harry looked wide-eyed at it for a moment, glancing with disbelieving eyes at his boyfriend, but when neither Malfoy said anything he took the arm and allowed himself to be led out the doors and round the building. Draco looked after them, still frowning and with a pensive look in his eyes.
"The rose garden was planted by my great-great grandfather in 1853 so he would have something to look at while he worked," Lucius informed his guest as they walked arm in arm. Harry was very nervous. Lucius had never treated him with anything but disdain, indifference or outright hatred, but now he was acting like the perfect gentleman. That part alone didn't surprise Harry: Lucius Malfoy was the perfect gentleman in every sense of the word, but he was using his charm on Harry Potter. They came round the huge house and Harry noticed the beautiful garden.
"Indeed. Please, explore as much as you want. I shall come back and collect you as soon as my son and I have had our little heart-to-heart." Lucius smiled at Harry. It was the same sort of charming smile Draco had given to him the night before when he told Harry 'I love you too,' but Lucius' smile was of an entirely different calibre. Harry didn't know what to make of the emotions he suddenly saw swimming in Lucius' eyes, but he grew tense because of it and drew back slightly. Lucius seemed to catch himself almost immediately and his smile somehow changed, yet remained exactly the same, and only then did it become a carbon copy of Draco's smile from their date. Lucius gave a slight bow of the head and then walked away, leaving a very puzzled Harry behind.
Harry had wanted to ask why Lucius was being so nice, especially since the man was probably going through a difficult time with the divorce. Why would he bother with niceties while entertaining the bane of his, granted former, master? Then there was the smile and the look… it had been… Harry couldn't begin to name it. So, like he had done before in relation to Lucius Malfoy, he decided not to ask and not to dwell on it. He turned towards the garden and started to wander around, stopping very frequently to smell the roses.
Inside the Manor Lucius entered his study and noted with inward smugness that the French doors were as he had left them this morning: open. Draco was seated, obviously deep in thought, in front of Lucius' large old desk. Almost, but not quite as large and impressive as Dumbledore's, something that had always been a sore spot with the aristocrat. In time, however, Lucius had forgiven the old coot for that.
Draco didn't notice his father until the man cleared his throat. The young Malfoy looked up to see the Lord of the Manor already seated in his chair.
"Father," Draco said, swallowing. "I need your advice."
"You are always welcome to that, my son," Lucius said, smiling. Draco was troubled, that much was obvious to Lucius. Draco, however, did not notice the odd Dumbledore-ish twinkle to his father's eyes.
"It's about Harry…"
"Yes?" Draco didn't hear how eager Lucius sounded.
Harry sighed as he smelled the wonderful flowers. He was wandering pretty close to the wall of the Manor, admiring its towering presence even though it wasn't nearly as many storeys as Hogwarts. He was making his way around the corner when he heard Lucius' voice. Harry stopped short at the sight of the wide open doors. Father and son were in the study overlooking the rose garden. They were probably talking about the divorce. Harry started to turn around so as not to eavesdrop. Then again, whatever they spoke of might explain Lucius' odd behaviour… Ever the curious one, Harry Potter could never not stop to listen in when he had the chance.
"It's about Harry," Draco stated firmly after a long pause. "Last night… he told me he loved me."
"I see." Lucius' face was a perfect mask again. Draco sighed.
"I know what you're thinking."
"I can guarantee you, you do not."
"Look, I know you want me to find myself a witch and settle down, have children-"
"Please, Draco," Lucius cut him off, holding up a hand. Draco didn't stop.
"But see, that's the thing. I have-"
"Perhaps you should explain things in the correct order," Lucius told him firmly. Draco blinked, then nodded, looking a little disorientated.
"I care about Harry a lot," he said after a while. "A lot. I don't want to hurt him."
"But you don't love him," Lucius finished. Draco shook his head and outside in the garden, Harry's heart broke.
"No, I don't. He's so damn sweet and agreeable and he allows me to decide all the important things like where to go and what to wear and eat and who to meet, but-… it's… not like I pictured it."
"How did you picture it?"
"I don't know," Draco shrugged. "A fast and passionate affair? A scandal even? We would have our fun and then a massive glass-shattering break-up. Based on our prior history I never imagined we'd be good together. When I said I fancied him after he'd been irritating the hell out of me, I just did it on a whim…" Draco shook his head at himself. "I didn't considering us becoming… domesticated." Lucius snorted softly. Draco looked at him. "What?"
"I agree, I would not have predicted that either, had I been in your shoes."
"You see then?" Draco was obviously eager for someone to see his point. "I didn't plan on actually liking him. We became… friends, despite everything! He's the best friend I ever had, the only real one probably, and now I'm going to lose him because he'll hate me forever, worse than ever." Draco slumped in his chair, rather un-Malfoy-like. "I don't know how to keep a friendship like this," he said dejectedly. "It all started out so well. That first kiss was so passionate... I never saw this coming." Father and son sat for a long moment in silence. Lucius studied his heir, contemplating how to word his reply. Draco just sat in his misery, unable to picture anything except Harry's heartbroken face.
"Everything will be alright," Lucius said suddenly, causing Draco's head to snap up.
"How do you know?" Draco asked, his eyes pleading.
"Harry will forgive you. He's a Gryffindor with the heart of a true hero. He'll still be your friend… But I think you should tell him as soon as possible. It is not fair to keep him in the dark." Draco nodded and rose when Lucius did. His father guided him to the door. "Come alone. Let's go find him."
Harry had at first been rooted to the spot, but when Draco said, 'I never saw this coming,' he finally snapped out of his stupor, turned and ran. He fled the garden and sprinted the long way back around the house. Since he didn't know how big the grounds were so the quickest way outside the wards was through the front gate. Inside his heart was hammering and his jaw was clenched so hard his teeth were almost crumbling. He finally tore around the corner and towards the driveway when Draco and Lucius stepped out of the front doors.
"Harry," Draco greeted, coming down the steps. Lucius remained at the top. "I need to talk to you."
"No you don't," Harry spat, walking right past Draco and towards the gates. He didn't even look at Lucius.
"Harry?" Draco asked, alarmed. He followed. "What's the matter?" Harry spun on his heel and glared at his former boyfriend.
"You never saw this coming!?" Draco paled instantly and started stuttering out a reply. Harry never let him answer. It was a rhetorical question anyway. "How could you not see this coming?! We've been going out, exchanging flowers and enough knick-knacks to put Dumbledore's office to shame! We've been together practically every day for a whole year! What part of our relationship has ever been the fast and dangerous, scandal-causing kind? How can you not have seen this coming!?"
"Harry," Draco pleaded. "I didn't mean it like that." He tried to reach out, but Harry jerked away.
"You said you loved me," Harry said, his broken heart almost visible in the words.
"I'm- I'm sorry," Draco said helplessly. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"You had no trouble lying to me, obviously," Harry said bitterly. He turned and walked out of the gate, apparating the second he was free of the wards. Draco stood staring after him, feeling more wretched than he had previously thought possible.
Back in his cottage Harry raged and cried for exactly thirty minutes, destroying his living room completely, before moving to his bedroom and weeping. He couldn't understand it. He had finally been happy, complete and all the other sappy things he was supposed to be! Everyone always told him that now the war was over and his job was fucking done, he could lay back and be happy with his nice boyfriend and live the life he deserved! Well, if this was what he deserved after a lifetime of hardship after hardship Harry wasn't so sure he wanted to go on. Then he shook himself. No, he would never, ever kill himself, because that would make a mockery of his mother's sacrifice.
Harry didn't know what to do. It hurt so bad. Draco had destroyed everything Harry had worked for. He had worked so hard, not just on destroying Voldemort, but getting his life back together afterwards so that they could be together. And Draco had seemed pretty on-board with the whole program from the start. He never saw it coming, was just bullshit! Unless Harry had somehow sent the wrong signals…
Was that it? Harry knew he was absolutely hopeless with relationships. Ginny and his had ended well, but he did realise that the redhead had been doing all the work from the start. Harry had just gone along with everybody's idea of them as the perfect couple. What if he had misunderstood Draco's intentions?
And what then? Did he just take this newest slap to his face in what was becoming the story of his life: getting the crap beaten out of him physically and mentally, while lying down? No, he would do what he always did: fight back. But how? He couldn't hope to woo Draco, he simply didn't know how, but he knew what he had done, and obviously that had been wrong. How do you right a past wrong? In the muggle world you apologise or do something to make up for it… but Harry had other means than that of a muggle.
Slowly a plan formed in Harry's mind. It was completely insane and downright illegal, but Harry didn't care. He was going to get the life he had worked for damnit! He couldn't take anymore. Not another loss, not another period of healing and moving on.
With this crazy plan firmly in his mind, Harry's brain shut down and he went to sleep. He would dream of Draco making love to him, and then saying over and over again that it was just sex, while the dream-Harry just laughed and didn't understand.
Draco went to sleep that night too, crying the first tears he had shed since he was five years old and had just broken his favourite broom.
Lucius Malfoy went to bed as well, knowing he needed to get up early to get to the Ministry. He didn't work there, not anymore. These days he kept to his investments, but he definitely had business there tomorrow.
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