A/N This had been going through my mind for ages and wouldn't let me sleep until I started to write it down at 2am in the morning…as you can imagine I had a lot of errors to fix. Also I don't speak Spanish I had help from a free translator on the net.

Summary: Everyone has Daniel as an excellent linguist who never makes a fatal/embarrassing mistake. Until now.

Spoilers: None well actually only that Jack cares about his team (but that's a no brainer though right?) and Emancipation (Season 1 ep. 03 with the Mongols)

Stargate Command

General George Hammond was sitting next to Walter Harriman watching his flag team SG-1 going off to a new frontier, a place that no man has gone before… Hammond made a mental note to stop watching Star trek with Teal'c and give him back the Star Wars box set, just hope he will play it when the base personnel are not around to start riots again. Colonel Jack O'Neill stood at the 'gate entrance and looked back at the General

"SG-1 God speed" Hammond farewelled them

"Don't wait up General...but please leave the lights on." O'Neill said just before walking through the 'gate. Hammond shook his head and went to his office to catch up on the paper work that he needed to work on.


Jack looked around at the planet that looked like it was the Sahara dessert on Earth, there was sand and heat every where with little to no vegetation. He saw that there were sand dunes everywhere Carter looked at her "People locator" and pointed away from the 'gate.

"This way sir about an hours walk." Sam mentioned pointing with her head straight ahead. Jack cupped his hands over his eyes and stared. There was the sky and sand.

"If your sure Carter. Ok campers of to…nothing" Jack said as Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c followed Carter with the doohickie. They walked for half an hour before Jack complained.

"Ah man, wait up guys." Jack said as he leant on Teal'c with one arm and lifted a leg

"Uh Jack do you have to take of your shoes?" Daniel asked

"Yes I do Daniel, got a problem with that?" Jack asked

"Uh well I just remember the awful smell last team night and that day wasn't as hot as today." Daniel mentioned hesitantly Jack saw Carter turn her back to him and he head went down like she was trying not to laugh. In response Jack upended his shoe and let the sand out before putting it back on.

"See no smell." Jack said like a five year old as he walked away, Daniel shrugged and went back to follow Jack and Sam with Teal'c covering their rear.

SG-1 took on last turn and miraculously a town appeared out of nowhere.

"Ha Broken Hill." Daniel muttered

"Broken Hill?" Jack asked

"Oh a small town in New South Wales Australia you follow a straight roads for hours there's no hint of a town turn one last corner and it is just there." Daniel replied

"Take it you had a dig there once?" Jack asked

"No, vacation. Not your cup of tea Jack, but the local's were friendly." Daniel replied

SG-1 SG-1

they reached the city out skirts where they saw men and women dressed in formal outfits with flowers on every door frame, seems there was a lot of reds and greens worn by women, Blue and yellow worn by men. Young children wore purple and orange colour not defined by their gender like their parents.

"Welcome travellers you have just arrived in time for the ceromony de boda." A young woman greeted them holding a basket full of bread.

"Daniel what's de bada?" Jack asked

"De boda. It's Spanish, its wedding ceremony; this must be their traditional clothing for it." Daniel replied to Jack then turned to the woman.

"Greetings, I am Daniel Jackson, this is Samantha Carter, Teal'c and Jack O'Neill." Daniel introduced them the members of SG-1 who waved in turn.

"I am Cecilia the la novia para ser" Cecilia said Daniel leant to SG-1

"Bride to be"

"Ah congratulations may you have a long and happy marriage." Jack warmly said

"Congratulations? What is that?" Cecilia asked

"Felicitaciones." Daniel replied Cecilia smiled and bowed similar to Teal'c to other Jaffa except her arm wasn't over her chest.

"Please come to the city, you must meet the rest of my people. It has been along time since we had visitors." Cecilia motioned them to follow her Daniel was watching the scenery the houses on the out skirts reminded him of the buildings from Pompeii and Herculaneum white washed, with frescoes and cobbled streets with horse and carts.

"This is amazing, they speak English with Spanish thrown in, and the architecture is from Pompeii and Herculaneum. Wow." Daniel was muttering wishing he had his pen and paper on hand and not in his pack buried under supplies. Jack was glad he didn't as Daniel would go to his own world will wonder off and get lost.

"This is the capilla de boda" Cecilia said walking up the stairs

"Ah the wedding church." Jack said

"Not quite, wedding chapel." Daniel corrected him

"You know Spanish sir?" Sam asked conversationally, Jack shook his head and pointed around to show them the floral arrangements

"Sarah had the church decorated the same way when we were wed only it was full of Black Magic roses and baby's breath." Jack said

"Raul, el marido para ser, come meet our visitors." Cecilia called two men walked out of the back room one was dressed full in white the other was wearing Black with a white band over his right arm.

"Who's a el marido para ser?" Sam asked

"'Husband to be'" Daniel replied

"Cecilia here so soon?" The man in Black asked then looked at the visitors.

"Oh my stars, welcome, welcome please sit you must have had a long journey to reach us and must be tired." The man in Black said

"We are fine, it hasn't been that long." Jack commented the man just bowed in the same manner as Cecilia had done.

"So what brings you to our small village?" The other man asked

"Pastor, I am sure they will tell us in their own time, this is a day of celebration not hostility." Raul said

"We are explorers we travel to other planets to meet other people and cultures." Daniel replied. Cecilia and Raul were happy to hear that, the pastor also became more open to them

"Then you are most welcome here. Would you like to stay for the ceremonia?" He asked

"We would love to." Sam replied

"We would?" Jack asked

"Sure why not? Daniel will get a kick out of it, and it looks like it is going to be a party." Sam replied Jack shrugged

"Sure we shall stay for the ceremony, would you like some help?" Jack offered getting a surprised look from his team mates.

"What a lot of work goes into a wedding." Jack said as if it was a normal fact to know.

"If you would excuse me pastor, I must change in to my traje ceremonial." Cecilia said as she bowed and walked away.

"Oh…Samantha? Would you be at all offended if you changed as well?" Cecilia asked

"Oh no, I guess not." Carter said as she walked along side Cecilia hoping that the dress would not cause as much of a stir here as it did on Simarka and the Shavadai's chief's son who saw her as a way to 'buy' his girlfriend for a wife off a warring tribe. That was one situation she doesn't want repeated. But she followed Cecilia to get properly attired for the wedding.

"Sorry, where are the girls going?" Jack asked watching the girls walking down the isle laughing and joking like old friends.

"To get into the ceremonial attire… Cecilia is getting into the wedding dress. I think they are also going to get Sam into one of the dresses." Daniel said.

"You are correct Daniel Jackson I am afraid I am going to have to ask the same of you three. Though I think we may have some problem with you Teal'c." The Pastor said

"Teal'c would there be anything else that is suitable? Perhaps he could be hidden in a corner…oh my that sounded rude of me. I only meant a place where your attire will not destáquese como un pulgar verde." Raul said.

"I think where ever Teal'c goes he will stand out like a green thumb Raul. Sorry Teal'c. We are good at blending in the background." Daniel said also as a translation.

"Oh I know my cousin Nathanial he would be the perfect fit for Teal'c." The Pastor said

"I think he will have a spare set, please follow me." The Pastor said as he tried to drag Teal'c and SG-1 behind him.

SG-1 SG-1

Sam and SG-1 were sitting at the back of the wedding chapel Sam was regretting the fact that she accepted the invitation. She was wearing a green dress that was from the collar bone to the ankles to wrist thankfully not too much embroidery but enough to give it a lift but the ceremony was in Spanish so the only person interested or who could understand were local's and Daniel, who was quietly commentating but everyone slowly tuned out. Sam saw that Teal'c was in light Kel'no'reem, Jack was probably thinking of The Simpson's and Sam was thinking about the Stargate and how fast it would take her to run there in this dress.

"…Ahora pronuncíele marido y esposa" the Pastor said

"I now pronounce man and wife." Daniel repeated

"Yes!" Jack said excitedly showing how bored he was. Sam noticed that it took Teal'c a long time to stand only to see that the 'suite' he was given was two sizes too small, thankfully not too short in the legs. Everyone followed the Bride and Groom out of the chapel and into the village where there was a feast set up for the wedding guests.

"Visitors, I hope you were not bored?" The pastor asked guiding them to a seat near the bride and groom.

"No not at all, in fact it was riveting." Daniel replied speaking before Jack could SG-1 noticed that there was food placed on a plate in front of them by some working women and men.

"Have any of you been casado before?" The Pastor asked

"Yes, all us men except Samantha." Daniel replied

"You are an mujer soltera?" The pastor asked,

"Daniel? Translation please?" Sam asked

"Oh the Pastor asked if any of us were married I explained that you are the only one not to have been so he asked if you are an unmarried woman." Daniel replied

"Yes I am." Samantha replied the Pastor started to have a low private conversation with Daniel who was talking with his hands as well as his mouth

"Think we may have a situation." Jack warned the rest of SG-1

"I agree with you there sir" Sam replied in the corner of her mouth.

"Indeed." Teal'c agreed Sam and Jack were trying to work out how to get out of this mess when the Pastor called on some other men who looked well trained in the armed forces that came and arrested SG-1.

"Daniel, what is going on?" Jack asked trying to get over Daniel's rambling to the Pastor

"It seems that to have an unmarried woman with a group of men is breaking one of their laws, we are to be given a trial and press our case in front of a jury." Daniel explained as they were taken to a cell.

"Oh fer cryin' out loud, next time were asked Sam you're married to me." Jack said in frustration.

"Sure sir." Sam replied a little too enthusiastically trying to lighten the mood. The men of SG-1 were pushed into one cell and Sam was placed in the cell next door that looked to have been from a John Wayne movie.

"So what now Danny?" Jack asked.

SG-1 SG-1

A/N this was supposed to be a one shot but decided to grow. Should have the next chapter up soon.