A/N - Soo...I know that I have two other Twilight stories to worry about, but I just couldn't resist this idea. Just a humorous little one shot, so I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I no own so you no sue.
The City of Sin
"Alice, where are you taking me?" I asked impatiently. It was a week before the wedding and she thought it would be the perfect time to take me out of town, since Edward was out hunting with his brothers. Never mind that there were a million plans that had to be finalized and a million more decisions to be made. No, now seemed like the perfect time to blindfold me and take me on a trip.
"It's a surprise!" her soprano voice exclaimed cheerfully from the driver's seat.
I sighed and leaned further back into the plush leather seat of her yellow Porsche. Even though I had been blindfolded when she and Rosalie had shoved me into the car, I could tell she was driving Edward's gift; there was a hint of fondness in her tone and every so often I could hear her cooing at the dashboard.
"Are we there yet?" I whined.
To my surprise, I could hear Rosalie chuckle. "Almost," she promised.
Sure enough, I felt the car come to a very smooth stop two minutes later. My door opened and a cold hand gently took my arm to guide me out of the car. Then the blindfold flew off my eyes and the sight that greeted me felt like a punch in my gut.
"Surprise!" cried Alice as she jumped up and down with glee.
It took me a while to lift my jaw from the ground, but when I finally managed to form coherent sentences in my brain, the first words out of my mouth were, "YOU TOOK ME TO VEGAS?"
Rosalie smirked. "It's the best place to have a bachelorette party."
Right then, the two of them each grabbed an arm and dragged me into the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino. I knew struggling against their strength was pretty much pointless, but I tried to anyway. I couldn't let them drag me into a casino without putting up a decent fight.
"Alice," I begged, "I can't even do anything in Vegas! I'm not twenty-one!"
She laughed again, as if I had made a clever joke. "Oh, Bella, you didn't think we'd forget, did you? We made sure that we took care of everything before we left. I replaced your ID with the one I forged while we were in the car."
"Where does Edward think we are?" I demanded. There was absolutely no way he would have condoned this.
"He thinks we're taking you to a spa in L.A.," Rosalie supplied. For some strange reason, she seemed as excited about this as Alice was. "We had to plan the entire party in California to make sure he couldn't overhear us."
"What about Emmett and Jasper?" I was desperately grasping at straws at that point. "They couldn't have let you do this! Do they know what we're up to?"
The two of them grimaced. "Bella, we saved you when we decided to have your bachelorette party in Vegas. Emmett wanted to be your stripper."
My eyes nearly popped out of my sockets while Rosalie huffed impatiently.
"Look, Bella," Alice reasoned, "Edward's planning on turning you after the wedding, right?"
"And you want to make sure you get all of your human experiences out of the way before then, right?"
I nodded again.
"Well your bachelorette party is one of them. This should be the experience of a lifetime. Just let yourself go and have fun, okay?" She turned her gold eyes to me pleadingly. It didn't have the same effect on me that Edward's did, but my will still crumbled at the expression.
"Fine," I sighed.
When we walked through the doors of the hotel, the two of them veered me into the casino. We walked through the rows and rows of slot machines, past the roulette wheels and straight to the blackjack tables. Before I could lodge one more protest, the swiftly lifted me and plopped my behind on a stool. We had joined a game already in progress, so we waited for the next round while Alice disappeared to get some chips.
Right before the next game started, Alice returned with a bucket of chips and very tall glass with contents that definitely didn't look like iced tea. "Drink up!" she said cheerfully.
I sucked in a breath, but took the glass without complaint. I'd definitely need it if I was going to survive tonight.
Several hours, a Long Island iced tea, a margarita and two tequila shots later, I was stumbling out of the casino giggling. "Look!" I squealed excitedly as I dug my hand into my bucket and pulled out a handful of quarters. "I'm rich!" I let them slip through my fingers, landing noisily with the rest of my winnings.
"Yes, you are," Rosalie chuckled, completely amused at my semi-inebriated state.
"Where to next?" I asked. Wherever it was, I hoped they had more of that margarita stuff. That was yummy.
I felt a slight pressure on my head and I looked up, only to see the sky. Confusedly, I reached up to touch my hair and felt something stiff and slightly rough. "What's this?"
"That's your veil," Alice told me. "We're going to a strip club next."
I let out a shriek that was immediately followed by a giggle. Both Alice and Rosalie laughed at my reaction. Then suddenly, a bright flash went off before my eyes and I blinked, disoriented at the spots swimming before my eyes.
"I promised Emmett I would take pictures," Rosalie explained as she held up her camera. I could feel immediate worry and horror in the very small part of my mind that was still sober, but I didn't dwell long on that feeling. I had a strip club to go to.
My two chaperones steered me into a very small, discreet building. When we entered the premises, my eyes immediately had trouble adjusting to the dark interior. I had to blink several times until I could see properly.
The sight that greeted me immediately brought a blush to my cheeks. The room was split in two by one long stage, sort of like a catwalk. Dancing at the end of the stage was a very muscular, generically attractive man dressed as a postal worker. All around the stage were crowds of screaming women and a few men, whistling and holding up dollar bills.
I had only one thought in my mind at that moment: it was going to take a lot more than two tequila shots to get me to act like that.
Alice and Rosalie seemed to understand this, so they immediately steered me to the bar in the corner of the room and sat me down on one of the stools. "A shot of tequila, please, and keep them coming!" chirped Alice to the bartender.
He grinned cheekily and reached underneath the bar to grab a shot glass and a bottle of Jose Cuervo. "So, it's a bachelorette party, is it?" he asked as he eyed the mountain of lace and crinoline on my head.
Rosalie and Alice nodded as I bobbed my head in time with the upbeat techno music playing the background. Once the shot glass was full, I lifted it to my lips and downed the whole thing in one swallow. No lime and no salt.
"Wow," the bartender eyed me, slightly impressed. "I thought you were a lightweight."
"So did we," Rosalie replied, watching me amusedly. I noticed the way his eyes flickered appreciatively to my soon-to-be sister-in-law.
"What about you, baby?" he asked suggestively. "There's no ring on your finger."
Rosalie shot him a look of pure disgust. He took the hint and filled another glass.
Three shots later, I was standing in the crowd, screaming with the rest of the women there. I knew that Alice was behind me, trying not to laugh too loudly and Rosalie was too busy documenting every moment of this for future humiliation. But none of that mattered at that point. The only thing that mattered was getting this guy to take his g-string off.
"Take it off!" I screamed, holding up some quarters to try and slip down his underwear.
He playfully hooked his thumbs in the sides of his thong and his underwear down very slowly. I could feel the excitement all around me as I giggled.
And then in one swift motion, he ripped it off. I shrieked in surprise. In the corner of my eyes, I could see the flash of Rosalie's camera going off, catching my shocked expression.
After a few more gyrations, the male stripper sauntered off the stage as the next one came out, dressed like a firefighter.
"Okay, I think that's enough naked men for the night," Alice said amusedly in my ear. And before I could protest, she took me by the arm and weaved through the crowd to get to the door.
I was hit by the cold night air when we walked out the door and I immediately felt nauseous by the abrupt change. My alcohol soaked stomach heaved and I ran behind the building and I vomited.
"That's to be expected," Alice sighed as she pulled my hair back. I heard the click of a shutter and knew that Rosalie had taken another picture.
I vomited several more times until there was nothing left to vomit. It was definitely a good thing that I wasn't going to get drunk ever again; this feeling was not pleasant.
"I don't feel so good," I moaned.
Alice nodded. "We're going home now." She lifted me gently and threw her arm around her shoulders. Rosalie took my other arm and they supported me back to the car. When I was safely in the backseat of Alice's Porsche, I lay down weakly across the seat. Being drunk was exhausting.
As Alice drove farther and farther from the City of Sin, I felt my eyelids drooping farther and farther. The last thing I heard was Rosalie murmuring, "Emmett's going to be disappointed that he missed this," as she shuffled through the images she had saved of my Vegas adventure on her digital camera.
I woke up the next morning in Edward's golden bed with a throbbing headache. I felt a pair of stone arms around my waist and a pair of cold lips pressed against the back of my neck. The familiar scent that pleasantly greeted me everyday seemed too sharp that morning.
"Good morning, sleepy head," a velvet voice chuckled. Though I knew he had barely whispered, I flinched at how loud it seemed.
"Good morning," I rasped. I turned in his arms and gazed into his now golden eyes.
"How was the spa?" he asked.
My eyes widened and I immediately stiffened when images from last night's adventures flooded my mind's eye. The very last thing I remembered was the stripper as he slid his thong off, inch by inch and my cheeks burned bright red.
Edward was confused by reaction. "Bella?" he asked concernedly. "Are you alright?"
He still didn't know. I realized what I would have to tell him. "Um, Edward?" I began slowly. I looked down, hoping to avoid his gaze as I told him. "Alice didn't really—"
At that moment, Emmett burst through the door to Edward's room. I winced as the sound crashed against my ears. "Bella!" he shouted gleefully. "Do you mind if I post this video on YouTube?" In his large, pale hand was Rosalie's camera. I stiffened at the sight of it.
Edward sat up with me and glanced at it curiously. "What is it a video of?"
"It's a video of Bella dancing on one of the blackjack tables," Emmett grinned. "How come you don't like to dance? You're pretty good at it!"
Edward's face froze and I braced myself inwardly for the coming fury. "Where was this video taken?" he asked in what sounded like a very strained voice.
"At Bella's bachelorette party last night," Emmett said flippantly. He shuffled through a few more images until he landed on one. "Speaking of which," he began indignantly, "why didn't you let me be your stripper? This guy looks like a stick!"
I felt the blood rush out of my face when I saw the murderous look in Edward's eyes. This was so not good.
"I mean look at him!" he pointed to the screen on Rosalie's camera. The image on it was one of me gawking at a completely naked man in the middle of a dark strip club. "Come on, you have to admit that I look way better than that!"
I didn't say anything. I was too busy watching Edward's infuriated expression.
"Alice and Rosalie threw me a bachelorette party," I explained quickly. "It was a complete surprise, I swear!"
Suddenly Jasper appeared in the doorway of Edward's bedroom to investigate all the commotion. He walked up behind Emmett, peeking over his shoulder at the camera. Then he grinned mischievously at me. "Nice table dance, Bella."
A/N - If you liked, please review!