Heart Broken Shell
Summary: Everyone has a Weakness, even Ichinomiya Kantarou, one day Kantarou's weakness begins to show and Haruka notices, what does he do?
Going to be rated M in case of depression reasons, a bit of blood and of course the MalexMale Bonding, if no like yaoi then turn away god damn it, If I get flamed then I know that you haven't read this part!!
Paring is Haruka and Kantarou of course!!
Weakness are best dealt together than alone
Kantarou sat down on his desk, writing away at the manuscript that was sitting on his table, just waiting to be written, waiting to be given to Reiko for editing, the sooner it's done then the sooner it's going to be sold and bring in money through the door. He kept thinking for a moment, but it was hard when there was an angry Tengu looking over your shoulders twenty four seven.
Haruka had been advised by Youko to keep an eye on their clever master, but Haruka seemed to be taking it to the extreme. He even went as far to handcuff Kantarou to the table so that he does it. Much to Kantarou's protest, he couldn't be bothered to tell Haruka not to, there really was no point when he'll catch him again and keep him here once more.
But even so he didn't want to be here, especially when it's this time of the month…
"Haruka, I need to go to the bathroom…" Kantarou moaned in annoyance. Trying any excuse he could to get out of the room, sneak out and vanish to a tea house for a treat, other than that he needed to check on something, something so that nether Haruka or Youko should know, because it is his problem and his alone. Also it was something that he was uncomfortable with sharing.
Haruka sent Kantarou a scowl with those blazing black eyes, he wasn't going to fall for it this time.
"Don't you even think that'll work on me twice" Kantarou made a little duck for the desk to shield himself from the inflamed Tengu, but then popped his head up again, innocent puppy dog eyes looking at him. It was true last time he did that to Haruka he was on his tail in no time flat, who wouldn't after going to the lake on an assignment on his own.
"Come on Haruka I neeeeed to goooooo" he continued to wine, tugging his hand on the handcuffs that kept him on attached to the table. Haruka continued to glare on him. Suspicion running through his head and mind.
"Fine but for five minutes got it, and then come straight back here alright!!" Haruka growled, getting the key from his pocket and unlocking the handcuffs, Kantarou was relieved that they were off his hands, however he noticed a very big smirk on the Tengu's face when he left the room, but then shock it off as a coincidence, he ran down the hallway and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him and locked the door.
"Phew…now then" Kantarou then wondered over to the window that was in the bathroom and placed his hands on it, but then noticed that it was locked, he moaned in discomfort
"If your trying to get the window open Kantarou, it won't work cause I locked it!" Haruka hollered, hearing his master's predicament and futile attempts to get the window open.
No wonder Haruka looked so smug, he locked the window…if I can't get the door open then…
His thoughts suddenly halted with a stabbing sensation striking at his chest. He grasped his chest tightly, it was aching from a pain that Kantarou didn't want anyone else to know about.
A pain that'll always haunt me…
His chest continued to blaze in pain, his breathing turning shallow, his head suddenly feeling awfully light, he tugged his hand up to his face, blood tainting his hands, but it was no surprise, his scar would always react like this.
For this is my disease, my curse…
On a certain time of the month, his scar would bleed, it was a condition he had to live with ever since he received this curse that hovered above his head, this is something that he has gotten use to, ever since he was cursed with this unbearable pain to the Youkai that he firstly exterminated.
There is no remedy, no cure…
He dropped himself to the floor, trying to desperately breathe; he figured that the most responsible thing to do was to patch it up like he always did. He reached his hand into the glassy cupboard that was above him and opened it, a box of bandages and a cloth that he would usually store there for occasions like these. Something that he has gotten use too.
For this is the pain that I endure…
However he had forgotten the fact that Haruka was still standing outside, secretly listening in "Kantarou?"
Kantarou tried to patch up his wound, cleaning the wound, anything that'll throw away any suspicion, the blood on his hakama however was proving difficult to disguise that lie he wanted to tell.
This is my weakness and no one should know…
Another unbearable stab on his chest, he moaned but tried to hide it, wasn't going to work so easily though, his head was beginning to get clouded in a fog of pain and torture, he didn't want to worry anyone, no one at all, even when he and Youko were the only ones he didn't want her to know.
Even when I shout out in a un see able fog…
"Kantarou are you okay in there?" Haruka called once more
"I-I'm okay…" he replied in a raspy like voice, Haruka never believed that for one moment when he heard the rasping sound in his masters voice, something was wrong and he was going to figure it out even if he had to kick the door down.
I know that no one will find me…
Kantarou continued to shiver and grovel on the floor, blood spreading everywhere across it his whole body succumbing to his weakness, the only other weakness that he kept under wraps. He tried to breath but every time he did his chest began to throb in more pain that was worse than the last moment.
For this is my one and only truth…
"That's it I'm coming in Kantarou!" he jumped at the sound of banging, he didn't want Haruka to see him like this, not today, no! Not today.
"H-Haruka no!! Don't!" he moaned, the pain in his voice audible to anyone's ears, this Haruka immediately picked up on and continued to bang the door until it literally smashed into the room.
For this is the truth
Haruka looked at Kantarou and his eyes flew open in shock, there was so much blood on the floor, he rushed over to his silver haired master and tried to tug him close, but Kantarou tried to resist a bit, afraid of how Haruka was going to think about this.
"Kantarou what happened?" Kantarou dragged his knees to his chest, curling himself into a ball as if trying to protect himself from any harm or the complete opposite, Haruka never saw Kantarou act this way before and continued to try and grab him, help him with his injuries what ever they were. What actually happened becoming an afterthought
Even if I call out your name…
"N-Nothing…" he whispered weakly, blood loss effecting his judgement. The black haired man frowned, wrapping his arms around the folklorists trembling body, his pale face smothered against the taller mans chest, eyes closed as he moaned in pain. "Mmm…H-Haruka…d-don't…." Kantarou moaned, a slight shiver going down his spin, Haruka frowned in anger at his master's foolishness
"You need help" Haruka replied nonchalantly, grabbing the cloth that was in Kantarou's hand and began to clean the blood, before he did that though he removed a bit of Kantarou's hakama from his chest, dabbing the cloth on his scar, the boy gasped from the icy touch of the water.
I know that you can not hear it…
"How the hell did you get like this? In six minutes" Haruka asked, Kantarou opened his eyes weakly, his eyes glittering in exhaustion, it didn't feel like six minutes, it felt like an eternity. "S-six minutes?" he mumbled.
For no one else was able too…
Haruka could probably tell, that Kantarou didn't seem very surprised at this predicament that the exorcist was in, he had the feeling that this has been going on for some time now. After making a good job of cleaning the blood off, Haruka got the bandages and now attempted to wrap them around the wound.
"How long has this been going on for?" Kantarou couldn't voice a proper reply, he just snuggled his head, losing pieces of his consciousness one piece at a time. Haruka's words were even sounding unfamiliar to him, foreign, like they weren't even speaking the same language at all.
My voice can not reach…
Haruka knew there was kind of no point to ask Kantarou when he's dizzy from the amount of blood loss, yet he tried to shake Kantarou into a reply, not too hard if he wanted the wound to start bleeding again. That was a headache that Haruka did not want to get from Youko when she gets back "Kantarou!"
"H-Haruka…d-don't tell Youko-chan…p-please" His eyes widened again, if Youko didn't know about it then it must've been for a long time. "It'll only worry her" Kantarou mumbled, his eyes lightly closing again, losing consciousness completely.
If Youko doesn't know, how long has this actually been going on for?
Haruka shock his head from the thoughts, that wasn't the problem he had to sort out now. After the bandaging was done, Haruka caringly tucked one arm under Kantarou's legs, the other one under the folklorists shoulder, he needed to change Kantarou's clothes and maybe a little bit of bed rest would be what the doctor ordered. A shame too, Haruka thought that Kantarou was really getting some progress done for a change.
But was that really important right now?
No of course not…A living folklorist was better than a dead one
He caringly carried the young silver haired man up the stairs and into his bedroom, luckily for him, Youko already set all the futons up before she left, he slowly placed Kantarou unto the futon and began to remove the hakama, first by removing the top half that was covered in blood, while he was at it, he inspected the bandages, they were tight, he was actually proud of the job he did.
They were wrapped tight and strong so it won't come loose for a while. After that was done he slowly took off the bottom half, sliding it off his smooth skinned legs, Kantarou flinched a bit feeling the cold eerie air circling his body, Haruka thinks he better go and get that night time kimono or his master was going to freeze, with those thoughts in mind Haruka rose to his feet and wondered over to Kantarou's drawer where he kept his clothes and pulled out the grey kimono, he sat back down near his master and tugged him up into his chest, his head resting in the crook of the Onikui's neck.
He was actually surprised that he had a kimono for his own size actually, so did Youko, he wondered where Kantarou got them from then again it was probably Youko that got her hands on the Kimono's when she was over to the shopping side of town. Tokyo was pretty huge with the shopping stalls and all you'd be able to find many things there like Ramune, mochi, food, water, clothes and many other essential items that any ordinary Japanese Household needs.
Well the only thing was Haruka still had no idea why there was a purple package in Youko's room, it was pretty strange but when ever he got near it Youko would snap at him and tell him never to go near it, but she was a fox demon and she was also mature, just leave fox problems to foxes.
When Haruka finished dressing Kantarou in his kimono, he gently placed the silver haired boy back unto his comfy futon, placing the quilt over the young man's body so he wouldn't freeze. It was pretty cold this time of year, there was even news of snow coming down this year, Haruka hoped that there would be no snow coming down soon, and the Tengu didn't like the feeling of snow falling unto his head, the touch of cold pretty white gliding down from the skies
He was about to leave Kantarou alone in the room until he felt a familiar hand gripping his sleeve, black eyes looked over to weak rubies that stared at him, his eyes narrowed and a looked as if he was going to draw tears from those eyes at any second. "You should get some sleep Kantarou" Kantarou didn't reply for a while until he took in a deep breath and spoke to the black winged man in a trembling whisper.
"Y-You won't tell Y-Youko will you?" Haruka frowned, remembering the question he was going to ask from earlier slowly making it's way to his mind once more.
"How long has this been going on for?" silence came for a moment, Kantarou didn't answer, he didn't really trust anyone with problems like this before but since it's Haruka he thought that he should at least make a reply .
"C-Couple of years…"
"Define couple" there it was again that uncomfortable silence that flowed into the room, Kantarou's grip was tighter on Haruka's sleeve before he completely dropped his hand back under the bed covers and turned his head away, twisting his whole body to the opposite direction, keeping his eyes closed.
Haruka sighed; he figures that it was one of those painful recollections that would usually make Kantarou act like this, his eyes narrowed, closing his eyes lightly. "It's okay…you can tell me when your ready" Haruka gripped unto the blankets and pulled it up over Kantarou's shoulders. Kantarou turned his head over to the direction of the door, watching as Haruka slowly made his way out of the room.
I Try To Call Out Your Name
"H-Haruka" Haruka stopped in his footsteps and slowly churned his head to the scholar. A gentle smirk suddenly evolving on his lips, Kantarou immediately felt his heart skip a beat. He never saw Haruka smile like that before.
But My Voice Can Not
"I'll wait, like you did for me" Kantarou looked into Haruka's black gems that stared into his consciousness, he swore that Haruka was trying to tell him something, something important, but he never knew what they call this emotion, it was rare for it to be seen on Haruka.
Yet You Look At Me As If You Already Knew…
Before Kantarou could even say another word Haruka turned his back and made his exit "Just rest a bit" as the sliding door made the usual sound indicating it's closure, Kantarou narrowed his eyes making himself comfortable on the futon but he couldn't help bit feel a little bit guilty about not telling Haruka, Haruka was sometimes honest to him so why should he be keeping secrets?
This Burden That Is Placed Unto My Shoulders…
"I'm s-sorry" Kantarou whispered, a tear coming down his cheeks as he gently closed them. Pulling the guilt closer to him to reserve precious heat, it was cold and Kantarou doesn't want to freeze.
This Feeling That Had Nothing But A Bitter Taste…
It was something that he never wanted to talk to anyone about because of the memories and emotions that came along with it, it drove Kantarou insane just thinking about it, he did wish that he could tell some one but then there would always be that voice, that one voice, freezing his body completely and made Kantarou lose himself to his fears and kept him tightly locked inside his shell.
And Now The Shell Begins To Crack
He still remembered the first time Haruka stretched out his hand towards him, he remembered how the Tengu called out his name, those long elegant fingers coiling around his wrist, his hand grasping unto Haruka's and just now when Haruka dragged him close to tie the bandage around his chest, those hands made him feel safe around the dark haired man. It made him feel relaxed; Haruka would have to be the only person besides Youko and the others to make him feel this safe.
You Stretched Out Your Hand To Me And Made All These Feelings Disappear…
Kantarou slowly closed his eyes, placing a calm smile unto his lips as he spoke in a low voice, snow slowly appearing from the skies that hovered above his home, the cold white falling unto the roof and touching the garden in its white beautiful touch scattering through out Tokyo.
"When I'm A Little Stronger
I promise I'll Tell You…
Youkai Of Hearts: Would this really be the end of this fan fic? Hm…should there be a sequel? What do you think?
The reason I put this in mature was because I was worried in case the scene with blood was a bit saddening either that or would scare a couple of people plus I think Kantarou and Haruka were a little bit out of character, a little bit, but it was for a good reason.
And a question if I may? Would anyone know where the heck I can find a Beta!! Because unlike all the other youngsters that have beta I'm just one of your old folks that wouldn't know or haven't even heard about the thing…it's really scary when you think about it!!
Be honest now and please review, if you don't then I'll be very sad…lol!!