Normally Phil isn't as inclined to protest when Jeff tells him what spots he wants to do. But normally Jeff's spots aren't a trifling matter, but when Phil heard that the spot Jeff wanted to accomplish was thirty feet high, Phil knew that things had gone too far. He didn't want to be villain or overprotective boyfriend, and he knows that Vince would never let Jeff get hurt, but who knows what could go wrong? Although seeing Jeff's signature Whisper in the Wind off the steel cage was spectacular and awe inspiring, what if?
Phil also knows that Jeff has gained a substantial amount of respect lately and his push is likely to advance his career farther than it's ever been before. The fans love his charisma and energy and they feed off his vivaciousness and vibrancy. He sees the signs and t-shirts and how the entire arena immediately responds when his music hits. He has only seen reactions like that for Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, the legends.
But is it selfish of him to want Jeff to slow down? He doesn't ever want to see his boyfriend ever hurt, emotionally or physically. But he can only account for the emotional part, he tries his hardest to satisfy Jeff in everyway possible. He strives to be the perfect boyfriend, but what he's constantly wondering what the definition of perfect is.
Is it icing his back after a hard spot? Check.
Or looking after him when he's drunk out of his mind? Check.
Or telling him is music is perfect when deep down it's the craziest shit he's ever listened to? Check.
So Phil thinks he is the perfect boyfriend in his own right.
But Phil can't help it if he worries over his boyfriend because if he didn't he'd be accused of indifference and apathy for the one person who has supported him through last year and a half. Sure, Jeff's crazy and a risk taker but if Jeff ever got seriously hurt, Phil would be by his side in a heartbeat. His love for Jeff runs deeper than his hate for the thirty foot falls or con-chair-to's to the head. He would do all this and more for Jeff, but he's always wondered if Jeff would do the same for him.
Inspired by Jeffs crazy spot last Monday. I might do a follow up with his point of view.