Sorry it's late, very very late, explanation at the bottom. Just a reminder: I don't own any of these characters. NONE, got that? Also, warning: this chapter is a whole lot of silly, pointless filler. Enjoy.
"Sir, is there a reason for this? I just found it on my workstation." Alia waved a sheet of paper in front of Signas's face.
"What is it?" Signas sighed, he had a pretty good idea what the mysterious paper was.
Alia was eying the paper rather dubiously while pointedly ignoring Singas's outstretched hand. "It's a note, I think, that reads 'BRB, gone fishing.' and has a scribble of what I assume are X and Zero with fishing rods."
"Ah yes, that was Zero's idea. He thought X could use a break and insisted on using their vacation time for a long weekend. Considering the impact X's... condition has had on the base I felt it would be for the best if they had a whole week off."
Alia cringed; there had been a few incidents lately. "Is Layer still confined to her quarters?"
Signas nodded his head, "She is, but since X and Zero left I think I'll have her return to her duties. There really is no point to her staying under house arrest while she can't start another fight with X."
Alia nodded, it was still weird to think of the quiet, shy Navigator starting any kind of fight, let alone a near brawl with one of the highest ranking Hunters. Alia turned her attention back to the note and frowned. "I know Zero was talking about taking a break earlier, but you'd think he'd have the courtesy to actually tell his team's navigator he was leaving in person instead of doodling this sorry excuse for a note!" Alia waved the note around angrily, then sighed heavily. "What am I supposed to do now that X and Zero are gone for the week? And I just bought that book of baby names too." She rested her chin on her hand petulantly while Signas wisely decided to just let her be. Then, inspiration hit, "Now that X and Zero are gone! This is the perfect opportunity!" And with that Alia hurried off to fulfill some diabolical plot or other.
"Alia!" Pallette burst into Alia's office, wailing at the top of her lungs. "It's horrible! Just horrible, Signas just- oh, I didn't know you were the one who bought the yaoi sign." Pallette stood transfixed for a moment staring at a paper sign with "Hawt bathroom yaoi $10" scrawled in sharpie on it proudly framed and hung on the wall behind Alia's desk. "But this is more important than that! Alia! I need your help!"
"Hmm, yes. I'm sure, Pallette." Alia was busy gathering papers, magazines, and various supplies from her desk.
"Signas just fired me! I accidentally ordered 370,000,000 bulk boxes of paper clips and I totally didn't mean to but somehow I did and I think I even caught it and corrected the mistake before it was too late," Alia paused at this comment as she remembered nearly getting crushed by some unstable crates of paperclips that had fallen over, "but Signas still said he couldn't take any more and fired me! What should I do?!"
"Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something. If you'll excuse me, I have something very important to do." With that Alia settled the mass in her arms left the room. "Good luck with Signas and all that, lock my office on your way out. Thanks!"
Palette just stood for a moment with her lip trembling staring at the door Alia had just walked out of before shuffling out herself. She morosely locked the door before shutting it and sulked down the hallway. And that was the last anyone on the base saw the little ex-Navigator.
X and Zero had just returned from their long weekend fishing trip with quite a bit of luggage in tow. Well, Zero carried most of the luggage, looking quite ridiculous with the way he haphazardly piled it into his arms. X still wasn't sure why they had so much to begin with but just rolled his eyes and shook his head, at least they were home and he didn't have to look at any more fish! X opened the door, since Zero couldn't really with his hands so full, and stepped into their quarters only to drop the one bag he was carrying in surprised.
"What? What is it?" Zero asked with concern. X's only response was to point at their bedroom, everything had completely changed! For one the room was dimly lit, something not normal in the well lit base. For another there were lit candles all over the place, a rather dangerous fire hazard considering all the maroon fabric draped all over the room. Floating in the middle of the room was a heart shaped hover bed covered in black silk bed sheets, directly above it was a large mirror on the ceiling with a disco ball hanging from the center. On the far wall was a large monitor with the image of a crackling fire playing across it and a leather loveseat facing the warm, artificial glow. And to top the whole set up off some sort of slow saxophone music was playing from the corners of the room.
Finally, X managed to speak: "What happened?"
Zero excitedly jumped on the bed, which wobbled at the sudden change in weight, and rolled around a little. "Ah... this feels really good."
"Aren't you the least bit freaked out that someone did a complete makeover to our quarters while we were gone?"
"Are you kidding? This is great! Feel this coverlet, it's velour. Real velour, just let yourself go." Every time Zero said the word "velour" X could just hear the other man's voice dripping off his words.
"Those look more like silk, honestly. But I'm kind of freaked out here, who did all this? Why?"
At this point Zero found the controller for the bed and started hovering towards X, knocking over a potted repliplant and one of the luggage bags in the process. "C'mon, it's a gift that someone generously left for us while we were out. I like it!"
X just threw his hands in there air, "I give up! I'm going to the rec, room."
'Ugh, I need a vacation from that vacation." X and Axl were chilling in the lounge with a pair of energy cans. He was about to take another sip when he was rudely interrupted by the can being knocked from his hand.
"Don't drink that!"
"Zero, what the hell? I was drinking that!"
"I know! That's why I had to stop you!"
X just blinked at Zero, "So why, exactly, did you have to stop me from drinking an energy can?"
"Because it's an energy drink, and those are bad for babies. They're nothing but caffeine and sugar, and do you know what caffeine does to babies?"
"Zero, we're reploids. We're supposed to have energy drinks, they're good for us. Plus all that stuff in human energy drinks doesn't affect us so even if I did have one it wouldn't do a thing. And now I have Shockolate all over me and it's spilt all over the couch and floor."
"Don't you know what's in that? Lightning! Real lightning! That can't be good for anyone! Not even him!" Zero pointed right at Axl, who was holding a yellow can.
"Oh no you don't, leave me and my Manana out of this!"
"You can run Rookie, but you can't hide!" Zero was only yelling at Axl's retreating back side.
"Are you done yet?"
"No, X. I'm not done yet. Wait, isn't that the can I just knocked over?"
"Nope, this is a new can." X placidly sipped his energy drink while Zero looked mortified. "Oh come off it, you know I'm right. Here, have a Godberry. You'll probably like that one." Zero looked ready to continue arguing when X turned the Godberry so the back was showing. "Just read the ingredients, there's no sugar or caffeine in it at all."
Zero picked up the can to read the ingredients. "But... but... the powerlytes... and electrolytes... more 'lytes than your body can handle... uncomfortably energetic... the powerlegs and mother nature and... and it just all seems like a bit too much."
"Zero, you watch far too much TV. You don't really believe that silly commercial, do you?"
"I guess you're right." Zero popped the can and took a swig. "Hey, that is pretty good stuff. And I don't feel uncomfortably energetic either."
"Good, because that commercial is far too ridiculous for even you to actually believe."
"Yeah, it is a stupid commercial. I guess I just can't help worrying though."
They sat for a moment and enjoyed their energy drinks together. It was truly a Kodak moment until X decided to ruin it by stating in the deepest voice he could muster, "Four hundred babies."
So I had actually finished this chapter a while ago, can't remember when, but I did. Then I sent it off to my proofreader and the curse hit! His computer died, his RL went to hell, all kinds of stuff happened. We thought he was going to be okay and that he was going to get the polished version to me but... then he fell off the radar altogether! D: But now that it's posted everything should magically put itself to rights. So everyone give my poor proofreader a big thanks for all his help while I was writing it and what he had to go through! I... I can't remember what his FF. net name is though.
Anyways, this whole chapter was just a lot of self indulgent inside jokes. If you get any of the jokes: you're awesome! That last one should be pretty clear, but feel free to point out any of the other ones you actually get.