LEGAL CRAP: I don't own Eloise, Splinter Cell or any of the movies mentioned, parodied and otherwise ridiculed in this fanfic. Eloise belongs to Kay Thompson and Hilary Knight, Splinter Cell's a registered trademark of Ubisoft, and Grand Theft Auto's owned by Rockstar Games...

Not Another Buddy Movie is a parody/crossover story by yours truly, combining Eloise and Splinter Cell into a unique, crazy mashup. Although this one was based on Splinter Cell, many events, plot elements, characters and stuff from the Grand Theft Auto III series are involved... I added some stuff in the story, such as Eloise's mother's job, retconned the storyline and a lot more...

Prologue - A Call From Mama

In Eloise's point of view...

Plaza Hotel, Room 1602

It was a sunny day in New York, as usual; Mrs. Thompson and Mr. Salamone were busy with the guests, and so are some of my friends at the lobby. It seemed rawther strange that my Nanny didn't come here to take care of me... And then, my Mama called...

(cellphone ringing)

"Hi there, sweetie!", Mama called, "Are you OK there?"

"I'm OK, Mama, how about you?" I replied merrily.

"I'm fine here at the agency. But I'm afraid your Nanny won't make it there, since she got sick last night," said Mama.

"Oh, dear," I replied.

"But don't worry, honey, I'll ask a friend of mine for a temporary replacement," said Mama calmly.

"OK, see you around, Mama, I love you, I love you, I love you!" I replied, hanging up my cellphone after a while. Gee, I wondered who'll be my substitute nanny for a while... Is he as nice as my old Nanny? I spent hours and hours thinking about that, restless, bored and all, with only me. Oh, and about Skipperdee and Weenie? They're at the vet, for an annual check-up. I turned on my computer, played some GTA, and then asked my friend Bill, the waiter, for some snacks...

(picks up the intercom)

"Hello, this is me, Eloise. Could you please give me some French toast and some rawther hot tea?" I asked, waving my hand as Bill listens to my order.

"Why sure, all for the princess," replied Bill. The crew then prepared my snack, and after a while, the doorbell rang...

"Bonjour, Eloise," Bill greeted, putting all the snacks at the table. "You look fine today, dear, here's the French toast and some tea,"

"Bonjour, too, Bill" I greeted; I paused my game for a while and took a bite at one of the sandwiches.

"Gee, thanks," I thanked, "Oh, and charge it, please," Bill then took a peek at the monitor, watching the mischief I'm making in the game...

"You're playing Grand Theft Auto there," said Bill, smiling as I drove a fire truck in GTA.

"I often end up dead when I play it," I lamented.

"Me, too," replied Bill, "OK, Eloise, see you around, I have some more work to do, y'know,"

Third Echelon HQ, Washington DC

(the telephone rang)

"Is this Irving Lambert?" Cathy, Eloise's mother, asked.

"Oh, Cathy, how's it going?" Lambert asked in reply, sipping a cup of coffee.

"Things are running smoothly, Irving, it's just that my daughter needed someone to take care of her for a while," Cathy replied.

"You mean Eloise? She already had a nanny, right?" Lambert asked.

"Oh, sorry if I forgot to tell you, but her nanny's sick and she won't make it there at the Plaza," Cathy added.

"OK, I don't know, but what if I send one of my agents there?" Lambert replied, "I know this isn't a baby-sitting service, but oh, well..."

Lambert then called his pal Sam, who was having a vacation at his townhouse in Maryland...

To be continued??

Well, I have to add some more stuff, so God Bless and see ya' around... )