Warnings: Blatant stealing of ideas from the Sentinel, and m/m (oh come on it's torchwood!) implications of m/m/m (if Jack has his way)

"Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul." by Oscar Wilde


Ianto glanced at his watch as he descended the stairs into the hub. 20 past 6. He made his way over to the couch where Tosh and Gwen sat and handed them each a mug of coffee, topped off with Baileys. He was waiting for Jack and Owen to come back from routine artifact retrieval; one that Jack had insisted only required two people.

Lately the higher ups had been using Jack as a fetch and carry boy, retrieving random bits of technology that Torchwood had scattered about over the years. Jack didn't seem to mind the trips, as long as was allowed to drag Owen along.

Which usually left him pulling long nights, waiting for them to come back. Ianto wasn't sure why the two women were still here though. He smiled as Tosh took a sip of coffee and raised her eyebrow.

"After five. I think we're entitled." He explained.

"Thanks Ianto. You're a love. Come on, sit with us. Jack and Owen are still out then? We can have a fun little chat while we wait, just us." Gwen coaxed with a smile. Gwen always tried oftly hard to include Ianto, having decided that the poor tea boy was neglected, never mind how much the "tea boy" protested the idea.

Ianto briefly thought about the pile of paperwork that was starting to teeter on Jack's desk, but instead gave the girls a answering nod and took his own mug, sitting in a ratty chair that Jack had drug in long before Ianto's time. It always made Ianto itch to sit in it.

Tosh grinned and leaned forward. "So...speaking of Jack and Owen. Do you think they're..."

"Adults? Yes. Which means it's none of our concern." Ianto interrupted, giving the woman a disapproving look.

"Awww come on, Ianto live a little. Gossip is the life blood of a office!"

"I thought it was coffee." Ianto countered.

"Coffee and gossip" Gwen assured.

"And pastries?"

"Quit stalling Ianto." Tosh demanded lightly, grinning. "So are they?"

"How should I know?"

"Well you did-" Tosh fought for the proper word.

"Sleep with them?" Ianto spared her the embarrassment, though he himself felt a hint of it. How did he always find himself in these conversations? It wasn't like they didn't know. His relationship with Jack, before the other man had left, had been blatantly obvious. And Owen's attempts at a drunken blowjob in front of both Tosh and Gwen had somewhat spoiled his efforts of keeping his short lived affair with Owen a secret

"That doesn't mean they come running to me to share their latest sexual exploits." Ianto reasoned. Though Jack had tried, thinking it made for interesting conversation during tea breaks.

"I honestly don't know." He lied.

Gwen broke the awkward silence. "They are shagging. I walked in on them in the cells last week."

Ianto twitched.

"What's wrong?" Tosh asked, leaning even farther forwards to put a concerned hand on his arm.

"Have you been in the cells lately? They're absolutely filthy."

"Yeah I know, why do you think I used to refuse- Uh..." Gwen suddenly found her coffee fascinating.

Tosh snickered into her coffee, and Ianto hid his own smile behind his cup. Gwen and Owen's affair hadn't been exactly a secret either, while it lasted.

"I knew they were shagging." Tosh threw herself back into the original conversation. "Well I was nearly sure of it. CCTV footage has started disappearing again."

Ianto lifted an eyebrow. "And your first thought was 'I wonder if my office mates are having sex on the clock'?"

"No! I checked to see who was last seen coming-" Tosh ignored a snicker from Gwen. "-Or going in the area. I saw a pattern after awhile, and put two and two together."

"Good work, Detective Sato. And now that the mystery is solved," Ianto pulled himself up and drained his mug. "I think I'll go and see what's taking them so long."

Gwen stilled him with a hand on his wrist, while she swallowed the last of her own coffee

"Though why they bother to delete the footage I don't know." She wondered out loud. "They're both such exhibitionists."

Ianto took her empty cup and Tosh's as well and made for the stairs.

"Perhaps" He turned and smirked, "They're planning a DVD release. Wouldn't do to have the footage leaked on YouTube before the premier."


Owen landed against the side of the SUV with a loud thump, wincing only slightly as his head connected with the window. Jack was pressing him against the door, his fingers knotted in Owen's hair, and his erection rubbing against his thigh. Jack pulled the doctor into a fierce, hungry kiss.

Owen pulled away, turning his attentions to the captain's neck.

"You know." He punctuated each word with a small suck or bite. "We should probably get back." Hit bit down hard on the base of Jack's throat, causing Jack to buck against him, and push him harder against the door.

Jack shrugged. "Since when are you the responsible one? We got the alien device; we're heading back to the hub in a minute. Just taking a short break." Jack worked his hands under Owen's shirt, sliding them over ribs and ticklish sides. Owen jerked. He regretted letting Jack know exactly where that sensitive spot was.

"Point." Owen admitted and threaded his own hand up into Jack's hair pulling him in again for another kiss.

When they separated again Jack sighed, bumping his head lightly against Owen's, in a, the doctor could only assume, loving gesture. It was one off Jack's quirks. "We should get going. Gotta get this thing back, and figure out what it is."

Jack reluctantly pulled his hands away. "I hate having to be the boss."

Owen smirked and ran a hand though his hair, making a bigger mess of it. "Why do you think I was to thrilled to hand power back over to you when you got back? Being boss sucks arse." Owen pulled him back in for one last kiss.

Owen opened the door and slid in, only to find himself with a lap full of Harkness.

"I thought you said we had to go." Owen was already working at Jack's belt buckle.

"I lied." Jack smirked, tugging off his own shirt.

"Bit cramped though." Owen yanked the belt through the loops and tossed it carelessly to the side.


"Sir." A reprimanding Welsh voice came over the SUV's internal comm. Jack jumped, and Owen swatted at the controls, trying to turn it off, but not quite able to reach.

"Sir," Ianto repeated. "Some of us would like to get some actual work done today, if you don't mind."

"How the hell does he do that?" Owen hissed.

"There's a camera installed in the dash. Next time I'd suggest covering it if you want privacy." Ianto gave a put-upon sigh. "Could you at least bring the artifact back to the hub? I have to catalogue it, and I'd like to get home at a decent hour for once."

Jack opened his mouth to argue, but Ianto's voice cut him off.

"I'm fairly sure you can find a quiet corner in the hub to resume your….activities."

Owen snarled. "Fucking cock block." The tea boy always managed to spoil their fun.

Jack shot Owen a brief glare, tinged with amusement. "Sorry Ianto. We're heading back now. Should be there in an hour or so." He disabled the comm, and climbed over Owen, sliding into the driver's seat. He picked up his shirt and pulled it on over his head.

"He could hear that you know." Jack said as he started the engine and pulled back on the road, slightly disapproving.

"I've said as much to his face." Owen groused, and propped his feet on the dash, covering the camera. Knowing Ianto he could probably read lips.

"Just be thankful he doesn't make an official report like he's supposed to, every time he catches us."

"You know, maybe Ianto wouldn't be so pissy if he was actually getting some."

"Wanna take him on the pull?" Jack asked, only half seriously.

"Could do that. Or we could just have him." Owen snickered. "You can't exactly block your own cock can you?" It was worth a shot, and Ianto had been spectacular shag that few times Owen could get it.

"Hmm". Jack wore a look of concentration, and not a little lust. "Though you do realise he'll put arsenic in your coffee if you suggest it right?"

"Figures. You could probably get away with it though." Owen flipped down the visor as he talked, straightening his hair in the little mirror.

Jack raised an eyebrow, a smile firmly on his face.

"Oh don't tell me you haven't noticed him following you around with those big sad cow eyes."

Owen could never figure Ianto out. The man had kicked Jack, Captain Jack 'Do aliens count' Harkness for Christ's sake, out of his bed. After Jack returned of course. Kicked him out, took back his key, like Jack didn't have copies, and told him in no uncertain terms to fuck off, all the while watching the captain like a twelve year old with a crush on his maths teacher.

Owen was so lost in his thoughts that he jumped as slightly as Jack's hand slid between his thighs.

"Don't worry." Jack said, keeping his eyes on the road. "Stay over tonight and I'll make up for the failed attempt."

Owen smirked, and let his foot drop away from the camera as he spread his legs further, giving Jack better access.

Let the tea boy watch.