AN: My first UB fic! Yay. Hope you like it.
I don't own the song "What Hurts The Most" by Mark Wills, or Gio, no matter how much I may want to.
Title: What Hurts The Most
Summary: Gio doesn't love Betty. Really, he doesn't.
Okay, let me clear this up – I am not in love with Betty Suarez.
She annoys me. Like, a lot. I had barely started selling my sandwiches at Mode when she got me fired. FIRED! She may be different than most Mode girls in the looks department, but on the inside, she is just like them. At least, that's what I thought at the time.
My irritation toward her intensified after I had to take her to get a dumb wheelchair for her boss. All the way in New Jersey. New. Jersey.
But, you know... as time went on, I kinda started liking her a little.
Platonically, of course.
She grew on me platonically. I started thinking that maybe she wouldn't be bad to have as a friend. It would be an amusing friendship, after all. I mean, I'm always really sarcastic with her and she's always really serious. Frankly, it's amusing already.
I had quite an interesting time with her when we saw "Wicked" on Broadway. I had to pose as her boyfriend so her boss wouldn't find out she was dating Henry.
Who's Henry, I hear you ask? Well, Henry is her boyfriend who got another girl pregnant. Yup, pregnant. She's living in Arizona and Henry is going to go back to live by her once the baby's born.
Betty knows this, and she's still dating him.
Yes, she is stupid.
I guess I can kinda see her viewpoint... wanting to spend as much time with him as she can until he has to leave, you know? But still. This guy is going to leave and then her heart is going to be broken. Crushed. Because she loves him. For whatever reason, she loves him. And soon, he's going to go to Arizona and never come back, to raise a child with a woman he's not with anymore.
The cons out weigh the pros, so I still think she's stupid.
But that's beside the point. I don't care what Betty does. It's her life, and if she wants to make dumb decisions that will hurt her, I'm not going to stop her. Because I don't care.
Really, I don't.
Antonella thinks I do. See, when we went to see the musical, I brought my sister with me. When we got home later, she told me I liked Betty.
Needless to say, I gaped at her for about an hour and then proceeded to ask her what made her come to such an outrageously impossible conclusion.
She shrugged in that stupid way that girls do when they know something stupid but for some stupid reason, they don't want to tell you. She just said, "I know things." No, she doesn't. She's a kid. She knows NOTHING.
As if she can just sidle into my life and tell me who I like.
So I met up with Betty a couple weeks after that when I helped her, Egg Salad, and her sister Hilda to fix up said sister's salon.
By the way, Egg Salad is my nickname for Henry.
I really hit it off with Hilda. She got, like, the good genes of Betty's family. First off, she's hot. I don't know how Betty can have a sister like Hilda and look... the way she does. Not that Betty's ugly or anything. She's not ugly at all. As a matter of fact, she's...
Thought I was gonna say pretty, didn't you?
She's very plain. In a... noticeable way. If that makes any sense.
When Betty told me that she and Egg Salad have their Saturday movie nights or whatever, I was blatantly shocked. The man is leaving eventually, and they sit around watching movies? I told her that if I only had a couple months left with my lover, "every night would be new memory." Or... something along those lines. That's the basic idea. I even demonstrated with Betty a bit of the dancing I can do. She seemed impressed.
Betty and Egg Salad had some problems though. I guess their relationship isn't perfect. Hilda and I invited them to go dancing with us, but they said no. Should've known. It was a Saturday. They can't miss the seven o' clock showing of "Lady and the Tramp."
So, Hilda and I went out to a salsa club, and it was nice. We had a good time. But, lo and behold, The Boring Couple arrived. And thus, the drama started.
Them crazy kids need to loosen up. I thought I watching a scene out of a Disney flick, where the nerdy couple sneaks into a club underage and are then too scared to do anything. Seriously, they just kinda sat there.
I tried to get them going, figuring some alcohol would do it, ya know? Alcohol tends to work when getting one to, as I say, "loosen up." But Henry was all "noooo" and being a baby about it. He told Betty something about how "this isn't me" and as he got up, he ran into a bunch of flaming drinks. It was hilarious. Really. Betty was like "oh no" but I know that if it hadn't been her boyfriend with a flaming shirt, she would've thought it was funny, too.
Or... maybe not. Betty isn't one to laugh at other's misfortunes.
After that, Henry left. He ditched her at a club! Geez, I was thinking, what a wimp. It's just a freakin' dance club. One night at one isn't gonna kill ya.
But, just like in one of their favorite Disney movies, Henry returned. Showing off his killer dance moves.
He's just soooo perfect.
Later, I took Hilda home, told her we should do it again some time, blah blah, yadda yadda. But then...
She said that she, "wasn't the Suarez sister you wanted to be with."
Geez, first Antonella and then Hilda? This is absolutely ridiculous! Ludicrous! Nonsensical! Preposterous! I could go on and on about how absurd it was, but I don't have my thesaurus handy.
But, really, how in the hell did not one, but TWO, people come to this laughable conclusion?
As I was talking to myself about this very occurrence, my mom walked by my room. Even though she had absolutely no idea what I was talking about – just that two people thought the same thing – she said, "Maybe it's true, and you just can't see it."
If she wasn't my mom, I would've thrown her out the window. But she very much was my mother, so I didn't do that. But still. It's not true. I can tell if I like someone. I've liked many girls in the past, and I always know it. How hard is it to know that you're fond of someone? It's not like Calculus where you have to go through this whole, tricky process just to find the answer. You just know.
So, I brushed their comments aside. I did not let them deter me. I don't like Betty, and I know myself better than my sister and Hilda. After all, I am me.
And consequently, I went on with my life. My store was going great, booming business, the usual. I delivered Betty sandwiches sometimes but it was no big deal. Just filling a client's order.
However, strangely enough, Betty was acting... weird, this particular time I went to deliver her food. I was giving her two sandwiches, one for her, she said, and the other for Egg Salad's care package – he was going to Arizona, you see, for the sonogram appointment for his child. The one with the ex-girlfriend, remember? The girlfriend that isn't Betty.
But, that's beside the point. She was acting weird. I told her she smelled good – what?! She did! That doesn't mean I like her!
Anyway, she hugged me, which was... nice, I guess, and just kept acting like a drugged-up nut. Not that Betty would ever use drugs. She doesn't even drink Espresso. And, I, uh... might've gone a little overboard telling her that Egg Salad might cheat on her while in Arizona. I really don't know why I said it. I just kinda... did. I realized about two seconds after I said it that it was the wrong thing to say.
Because of my dumbass conscience, I went to see Betty the next day to apologize. She was still acting like was on coke or something. I told her I was sorry about what I said about Henry and that I would stop calling him Egg Salad.
As you can see, that's been kind of hard. Half the time I've said Henry, and the other half, Egg Salad. I'm not a perfect person.
I tried to act friendly and nice about it and I asked her if he called, and she broke her pencil. That made me think, no. I still wonder why he hadn't... I mean, I would call her. Not that I would ever have to go across the country because of my pregnant ex-girlfriend, but... you know what I mean.
Not that I like her or anything.
Then Betty got even freakier. She started yelling at me, which was quite a scary experience. All I said was that she was probably right that Egg – uh, Henry, hadn't called because he was busy with the sonogram, and she FLIPPED OUT. She said, and I quote, "Just go! And don't come back."
Needless to say, I scampered out of there. I mean, Jesus, that woman has a voice that can CARRY! Everyone was staring at us. And thus... I left.
I was kinda bummed. Not because I like her! But because we're kindofsortoffriendsorsomethingofthelike. When your friend yells at you to leave and not come back, you get hurt. Like, really hurt. As in, you think about it all night.
Yes, just a friend.
And then... Betty broke into my store. I didn't think she had it in her. If it hadn't been my window that she threw a freakin' trash can through, I would've been proud. But alas, it was my window, so the only things going through my mind were: how the hell am I going to pay for this, and why the hell did Betty throw a trash can through it!?
A police officer came and put Betty in handcuffs. I thought that was a little harsh. I kinda didn't want him to. Betty's not a dangerous person. Unless, apparently, you give her a trash can. But otherwise, she's harmless. It was a little weird seeing the cop put her in handcuffs.
And in perfect Betty fashion, after she woke up and I told her I wasn't pressing charges, she was like "No, no, I'm ready to face the consequences of my actions." That is, until the cop told her she was facing five years in prison. Then she looked at me and I said, yet again, that I would not press charges.
I took her to her doctor's office, because I am just such a nice guy, and stayed with her. I was even nice enough to rub her back for her. She told me not to call her family but... then Hilda showed up. It wasn't me that called them, though. One point for Gio.
Not that I'm keeping score or anything...
Her dad and nephew arrived to, and I stayed with them as the doctor inspected her. She looked like such a child. It was cute.
In a friend way.
The doctor then dropped the bomb – suppoedly, she'd been using drugs.
Of course, at first, Betty's father thought she was pregnant. And her nephew gave me this weird look, like... I had done it. I wanted to shout, "NOT YOU, TOO!" Damn, she has a boyfriend. Why would he think that I... egh.
But, back to the drugs. Betty, of course, said she wasn't using them. Which I believe. Betty, on drugs? HAH. It's laughable, as I said before.
Aww, and she called Henry. How cute. They love each other. Gag.
Well, long story short, the drugs Betty was hopped up on perfume or something, and said perfume helped her get her boss's mother acquitted. Pretty sweet stuff. I was impressed. I went to see her in her boss's office after the trial, and I congratulated her. Because, you know, she deserved it. She set an innocent woman free.
And then we, you know, hugged. It was kinda nice. Okay, fine, it was really nice. I liked hugging her. It felt... good. I wanted it to last longer, but she clearly didn't. She didn't really hug me back, and broke it off after only a couple seconds to go talk to Claire Meade. I kinda watched her go... and realized after a whole freakin' minute that I was smiling. Shoot. I was smiling.
Well. That's it with me and Betty. As you can tell, we're friends. Sometimes. When she's not yelling at me and I'm not annoying her. Although, I'm always annoying her. I guess that's part of our friendship.
Is it weird that I think about her a lot, though? I mean... I think about her, like, every day. And not just because I deliver her sandwiches all the time. I think about her on weekends, too, when I don't have to. I've tried telling myself that that's what friends do, but... I don't know, I don't think about all my friends this much.
Goddamnit. Don't tell me I like her. I don't like her. I can't like her. She has a boyfriend. A stupid, insolent boyfriend who went and got another girl pregnant.
Oh, crap. I'm jealous of Egg Salad.
But that doesn't mean I like her, does it?
Of course it means I like her! Why else would I be jealous?
Christ, I can't believe I'm arguing with myself. I must be worse off than I thought.
But, you know... he should be leaving soon. I'm pretty sure Betty said he's leaving sometime this week.
On the one hand, I'm not looking forward to Betty's heart breaking. I know she's going to be horribly upset after he goes, and she's going to be depressed. But I am perfectly capable and willing to help her out. I'll do anything.
Crap, I really like her.
But on the other hand, maybe, after she's feeling better, I can...
Okay. I shouldn't think about that now. Her boyfriend's leaving. I can plan out how I will sweep her off her feet later.
The bell to my store rings, and I know it's her.
But she isn't upset. There are no tears rolling down her cheeks. There's no despair in her eyes at all. On the contrary... her smile is ten miles wide and her eyes are sparkling.
"I'm going with Henry!"
At first, I'm thinking... what the hell is she talking about?
As if she can read my mind, she continues, "We worked it all out. I'm going with him to Arizona. For good!"
I blink. I frown.
"We decided it on Friday." She looks positively giddy. "We just love each other too much to be apart. I'm gonna move with him, and he'll raise the baby with Charlie... and me by his side."
I stare at her and nod slowly. "That's... great, Betty."
"Thanks, Gio!" She throws her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly. Contrarily to a couple months ago, I do not hug back enthusiastically at all. In fact, I pat her faintly on the back like she did to me until she releases me. "I just wanted to say good-bye."
"Good-bye," I repeat, the word sounding foreign on my tongue.
She nods furiously. "We leave tonight. But I'll visit you, okay? Of course, I'm gonna have to come back to see my dad at least once a month." She rolls her eyes. "He has separation issues."
She turns and skips to my door, exiting and giving me one last wave as she passes by the window she once shattered.
Well... she's gone.
I just admit that I like her, and she leaves.
Is it supposed to hurt this much?
For once, I'm happy that no customers are in. I flip the sign so that it reads Closed from the outside and collapse into one of the chairs.
She's moving to Arizona with Egg Salad.
Screw my promise, I'm gonna call him whatever I want. He's taking Betty from me.
... whoa, where'd that come from?
It's not like he's moving to Arizona with Betty to get back at me. He loves her. And she loves him. They just wanna be together. Henry plus Betty equals love. There's no room for me in that equation. I should've realized that before I started falling for her.
My hands grip the sides of the table. It's not like I wanted this. I didn't see Betty and go, "Wow, I think I'm gonna like her." Trust me, if I could, I would definitely not choose to fall in love with her,
OH GREAT, NOW I'M IN LOVE WITH HER?
I can't love her. I just can't. She's in love with Egg Salad, and they're moving to Arizona. Chances are, I'll never see her again. I'm sure she'll visit New York, but why would she visit me? We're not really friends. That was just a cover up for my feelings. We're merely acquaintances. Friendly faces. Business associates, in a way.
But friends? Not really. Lovers? Never.
Maybe I should tell her.
I can't believe I just thought that.
I can't tell her.
I can't do that.
I just... can't.
Imagine what kind of position that would put Betty in. I've seen The Office. When Jim tells Pam that he loves her, even though she's been with Roy for, like, EVER, and she's about to marry him. Pam, of course, says she can't. She can't just drop everything for Jim.
Although... she ends up dumping Roy for Jim.
But my situation is reversed. It would be like if Pam was dating Jim, and Roy was all, "Pam, I'm in love with you." I'm Roy. Except, I'm not an ass like him. But here, I'm Roy. Betty is Pam, and Henry is Jim. Pam and Jim are meant to be, anyone who watches just one episode of The Office knows that. Roy is just there for conflict. A plot device.
That's what I am. A plot device. Just someone in the way.
If I told Betty how I felt, that would put her in an awful position. I would have to deal with being rejected, because Betty does not love me. She loves Henry.
And that's how it'll always be.
What hurts the most,
was being so close,
and having so much to say,
and watching you walk away.
And never knowing,
what could have been,
and not seeing that loving you,
is what I was tryin' to do.