(A/N: Hello, everyone. While this is not Master Plans and Double shooters—Yet. We're still under research and development.—this is a random story that we just this morning decided to write. Yippee-doo.
This is a challenge that we challenged ourselves with. We are going to write a one-shot for every single character on the scroll down list. Wish us luck! And remember to review, because we LURVE reviews and it makes us feel good. Plus, we don't know if you like it if you don't tell us.)
Uncle Vernon's Worst Nightmare
It was all over. The whole magic battle was over and done with, and Uncle Vernon was happy to be returning to Privet Drive at last. He would never see one of those incompetent magicians again. Plus, he would never have to lay eyes on Harry again. That was a huge relief. Maybe he finally sell some of his drills in peace. As they pulled into the driveway, Uncle Vernon looked up at his completely normal and perfect house. His mouth dropped open.
Surrounding the house were neon lights and strands of blinking ones, too. A huge neon sign on the roof said: Harry Potter's Casino Galore. There were people swarming through the door, holding tufts of money in their hands, all chatting excitedly. Some of them, Uncle Vernon shivered, were wearing long, sweeping wizarding robes. 'I'm going to kill that boy…' Uncle Vernon thought bitterly. Getting out of the car, slamming the door, and pushing through the incredibly thick crowd, he searched frantically for Harry. He saw those two, stupid red-head boys sitting on his coffee table, telling jokes to everyone and his house was filled with games upon games upon games!! Finally, he found him. It was rather hard to walk over there, seeing as the strobe light was making him dizzy. He tripped over a very old wizard, who couldn't have been more than three feet high. The wizard squealed and toppled over, shouting in a squeaky voice: "Not again!!"
Harry looked up. "Oh, hey, Uncle Vernon! What're you doing here? I thought you—heh heh—weren't coming back…ever." Uncle Vernon started to growl, his face turning purple. "But look at the house," Harry continued. "It's better than it ever was!"
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOUSE?!?!?!?!?!?!"
"Well, I didn't really have anything to do, after beating Voldemort and whatnot, so I kind of turned it into a casino. Hope you don't mind."
"DON'T MIND?! DON'T MIND?! WHAT'RE THE NEIGHBORS GOING TO THINK?!?" Harry shrugged.
"Don't worry about it, Uncle Vernon. They all love it!" He looked over at a very enthusiastic Mrs. Figg.
"I just won a thousand dollars!!!" she exclaimed. She waltzed over to a very distressed Uncle Vernon. "Vernon, I love what you've done with the place. I'm thinking of doing the same with my house!" She left, her pockets filled to the brim with cash.
"See, Uncle Vernon? Everyone loves it. They're happy, they're playing games…and Neville and Hannah just got married!!" He gestured to two drunken teenagers making out.
"Harry Potter, get them out of here now!!!!" screamed Uncle Vernon to the top of his lungs. Soon after, a tall, drunken man with shaggy black hair lumbered toward him.
"Hey, you mess with my godson's casino, you mess with me. And my little friend…" he added, pulling out a rather large knife. Harry pulled Sirius's arm down and held up his hands defensively.
"Whoa, Sirius. I've got it. It's cool," he said quickly.
Sirius nodded,"Ok, if you need me, I'll be over there," he jerked his thumb toward the bar and staggered over in that direction.
"Alright, I will," Harry called after him. "Oh, hey Dudley!" he yelled spotting his cousin, who upon entry, had hidden under couch. Now Fred and George were jumping up and down on it, causing Dudley to groan, and shouting:
"Come play with us Dudley!" over and over again. Uncle Vernon was outraged.
"Leave my son alone! Do you hear me?!" Harry waved his hand in a careless way.
"Ah, don't worry. They're trying to get him to be friendlier!" To Uncle Vernon's dismay, Dudley crawled out from under the couch and walked off with the twins. Ron walked out of the cupboard under the stairs.
"Hey, Harry, could you marry me and Hermione next?" he asked. Uncle Vernon stared at the cupboard in silent horror.
"Of course, Ron, but you might have to wait for a few minutes," Harry replied cheerfully.
"I don't know. Hermione getting pretty temperamental," Ron said.
"Okay then, hold on. Dumbledore," Harry shouted, "could you marry Ron and Hermione?"
The old man with the silver beard appeared out of nowhere to Vernon's terror. "Why certainly, Harry. After all, love is the most powerful thing in the world." Dumbledore and Ron walked off into the closet to meet Hermione. This had to be the worst day in the world. The only way it could be worse…
Slap! Vernon felt as if his cheek burned. "Vernon, we're getting a-hic-divorce," declared Aunt Petunia stumbling over. Vernon did a double take.
"What!" he bellowed.
"Yes-hic-I just got married-hic-to that nice man over-hic-there," she pointed to Severus Snape who was asleep with his head on the bar.
"This man can't even get drunk right," slurred Sirius pointing at Snape but instead he poked Mundungus Fletcher in the eye. The man screamed and fell off his stool onto the floor. Uncle Vernon's life was crumbling all around him.