Title: What not to say in front of your God-daughter
Pairing: Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione
Summary: Harry and Draco babysit Rose Weasley and, very unfortunately, hear her first word.
Genre: Fluff/comedy
Rating: PG-13 for swearing
Warnings: Un-betad but checked thoroughly.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter all belongs to JK Rowling.

What not to say in front of your God-daughter

While Harry said goodbye to Ron and Hermione who had just dropped Rose off at their house, assuring them he'd love to baby-sit his God-daughter for the night, Draco sat in a chair at the kitchen table, staring at little Rose Weasley who sat in her high chair sucking her thumb, staring back at Draco.

"You're such a...cute little...thing..." Draco said, sneering slightly in disgust as she stuck her finger up her nose.

"Having a fun little staring match there?" Harry smiled, walking back into the kitchen where Rose squealed happily at him.

Draco glared at him, "Why of all evenings did you have to agree to look after this thing when all I want to do is drag you to bed to have a nice long fuck?"

"Draco!!" Harry yelled at him, "Don't say that in front of her! And besides how is that any different from any other evening?" he smirked, picking Rose up out of her chair.

"Oh please she doesn't know what that means." Draco waved off with a hand, "And the difference being is that thatisn't usually here."

"That's not the point, and thathas a name you know." he said, as Rose pulled on his hair and Harry walked out the kitchen door, "I'm just going to put her to bed."

"Then we can fuck?"


Despite his protests, and Harry constantly pushing Draco away and trying not to fall for the Slytherins cunning plans to get Harry on his back and begging to be fucked, that very thing still happened. Barely 2 hours later the house was filled with groans of the two boys coming from their room, the occasional, "Oh God!" or "Oh fuck!" echoing in the evening air, little Rose Weasley staring sleepily at the fluffy clouds that really moved across the sky blue wallpaper in her bedroom at her Godfathers house.

It was 9.45 in the morning and a laughing Rose was being chased around the living room, the little girl squealing as she waddled around the room away from an equally laughing Harry, who was trying to put a pink coat on her ready for when her parents arrived back to pick her up at 10.

When Draco appeared at the living room door, Rose ran straight into his legs and fell back on her bum to the floor, still laughing. Harry caught up with her and picked up the laughing red head, "Oh no you don't." he grinned, tickling her as she giggled and squealed.

"Where were you this morning?" said Draco grumpily.

"I had to feed her." Harry said, as Rose squirmed in his arms.

"But I wanted a morning fuck." Draco pouted.

"Subtle Draco." Harry said, rolling his eyes, "And will you stop saying fuck in front of her?"

"Well you just said it."

"I said it in context!"

"Well how's she supposed to know that?"

Harry grinned and shook his head, "You're terrible Draco."

"And that's just how you like me." he smirked, smoothly slipping over to him and giving him a long lingering kiss over Rose, Rose blinking up at them curiously, before happily saying:


Harry froze mid kiss, as did Draco. Eyes wide, he slowly pulled back staring at Draco's equally surprised grey eyes, "Please tell me she said duck." he whispered.

He looked down at the toddler smiling innocently in his arms, who proceeded to giggle and point right at Harry's face, "Fuck!"

Draco stared at her, before he cracked and burst out laughing.

Harry, who seemed to be having a mild panic attack, quickly sat Rose down on the sofa and knelt in front of her, holding her shoulders, "No no sweetie, duck, say duck, ducks are nice, you don't want to say that other word, oh god please don't let your first word be fuck."he added to himself.

"Fuck fuck!" she laughed, Draco's laughter loud and continuous.

"Oh no please..." Harry said desperately, "If Ron and Hermione-" but he was cut off as the door bell rung, and seeming to instinctively know it was her parents at the door, Rose clambered off the sofa to the floor and waddled over to the front door.

Harry's look of horror at the thought of what his best friends might do to him if their daughter greeted them shouting out fuck for all the world to hear, Harry didn't want to think about. Throwing a cushion at Draco to shut him up, he ran to the front door, knelt at Rose's excited side, and pressed his finger to his lips, "Shhh." he pleaded, not thinking that would really work, stood up, took one exasperated look towards the ceiling, and opened the front door.

"Rosie!" smiled Hermione happily, who bent down and picked up her daughter who was stretching her arms up to her mother.

"Hey guys!" Harry exclaimed, trying to sound as innocent as possible, "Have a good night to yourself?"

"You know it." grinned Ron, "Everything alright here? Wasn't too much trouble was she?"

"N-no!" Harry stuttered, "Good as gold."

"Thanks Draco." said Hermione, Draco appearing at the door with Roses coat, trying to keep a straight face. "Right well we can't stay, Molly's coming over for lunch and I've got a casserole to prepare."

"No problem!" Harry smiled a little too widely, eyes flickering to Rose warily as she rested her head on her mothers shoulder and stared at him.

"Okay then Rosie, we're going home now, wave goodbye to Uncle Harry and Uncle Draco."

Harry knew it was too late the moment Hermione finished her sentence, and grimaced just in time to hear Rose shout out, "Fuck fuck!", Draco bursting out laughing again, and the chorused angry shouts of his two soon-not-be-best friends:


The End

Authors Note: This came about when my Mum and I got chatting yesterday about my first word being duck. I bet it wasn't lol