Disclaimer: Geez, you guys should know by now. Okay, I don't own Death Note.
Summary: In the end, there were no winners. [Misa x L
Notes: This is my first time writing L x Misa, and a dark one at that! But I was tired of ditzy Misa. The lyrics are from "Blind Game Again" from Gravitation. Enjoy!
Blind game again
Quite a worn out crumpled doll
Misa liked playing games. She knew that Ryuuzaki enjoyed the same pastime, more or less. Countless times she had caught him playing internet chess (against himself no less) when she knew he was supposed to be working on the Kira case.
She caught a look from him when she pointed it out, not so nicely.
But the games Ryuuzaki indulged in were a far cry from the ones she played. He needed his wits and his cunning and his stupid precautions. Misa played a drastically different game.
It took a flutter of eyelashes and a show of pearly white teeth. He was immune to it though (much like Light. They were far more similar than she would've liked to admit). All the petty insults and the flirtatious laughter slid of his skin like rainwater. He never seemed to have a retort. Misa had rejoiced in that for a while. Ryuuzaki could never play this game, or so she had thought.
She was wrong of course, however, when she discovered the way that his eyes alone could make her tense. She knew she had lost when her skin prickled at the knowledge that he was always watching. And sometimes she couldn't help but feel like giving him a show. It didn't matter though, in the back of her mind, Misa knew that Ryuuzaki always won. It was an end game she was playing.
She hated the way he watched her, challenging her to another futile match behind Light's back. Stupid Ryuuzaki, with his obscene tongue and kohl rimmed eyes that knew everything, saw everything. One day, he would finally be blind, and she would laugh at him for being trapped in his own game.
Maybe it had been the coffee. Or maybe it had been the way he was leering at her again, with black orbs that were too innocent and yet too perverse at the same time. Something in her had cracked and Misa certainly couldn't resist the temptation of winning.
"Ryuuzaki-san should stop staring at Misa-Misa; it makes her feel as if he is thinking inappropriate thoughts about her."
She knew he sensed the hidden daggers behind every word. I hate the way you watch me.
He chewed on his thumb indecisively, turning back to the blinking the monitor. Light mumbled in his sleep faraway and the chain connecting them, all of them, clanked ominously. The elation rose in her heart, and for a second, just maybe, she had won.
"Misa-san should stop staring back then, it makes me feel as if you too are thinking something unwholesome."
His voice was utterly monotonous; he hadn't even turned to look at her. She knew that he knew it was an utter lie, but the mocking tone was not lost on her. She liked to think it was a secret fantasy of his (ha, her having thoughts about lanky Ryuuzaki).
But she still sputtered and raged at his gall.
"Misa-never…she can't imagine it. Light is the only one for Misa-Misa!"
He just regarded her with the same even gaze. A hint of gloating floated on his face and Misa knew she was too far gone to back out now.
Her mind was set. Misa hated losing, but most of all, she hated that there was a sliver of truth in what he had said.
Stupid Ryuuzaki, he always knew everything.
Misa licked her lips experimentally and curled the bobbing edges of her pig tails. Perfect. Let him keep his vigilance, this time she wanted him to see.
She had spent eons preparing for this moment, the moment when she could finally stand back and laugh at his defeat, at her victory. Light would be proud of her for her shrewdness. Ryuuzaki was a genius, but a man nonetheless.
Her footsteps were soft on the metallic floor. Measured and even and confident.
Ryuuzaki crouched a few feet away, tongue swiveling over a piece of half licked frosting. He tensed at her entrance but made no sound, just continued licking and typing. The perverseness he possessed in everything he did made her angry, made her want to blind him.
It was a good thing, she thought, that Light was asleep in the corner, because she desperately didn't want him to see the monster that she was going to become tonight. But it was for him, for her, for them.
It has to be done. There is a winner in every game, even this one.
"Ryuuzaki-san," she purred, her voice dropping to a sultry low, "Misa is lonely tonight. Can she keep you company?"
He knew it was a trap. She could tell from the way his back straightened an inch. She wasn't worried though; Ryuuzaki would (could) never deny her. Her lips spread in a triumphant smile, lip gloss racing to stretch with the deviant lilt of her mouth.
"That's fine," he said, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes as he took a calculated lick from his spoon. She felt exposed as his eyes landed on her. Not for much longer.
Misa stilled the insane thumping in her heart and walked closer, each step bringing her nearer to her victory. Misa has him, he won't be able to think his way out of this one.
She watched hungrily as he stacked the sugar cubes into some sort of intricate structure, each cube adding a perilous tilt to the building. Another game, it was always just a game to him. How easy it would be to just push them over, watch them tumble and rejoice in the startled look that would mar his pale, pallid face.
Not now. It's too close.
Misa reached out and plucked one from the top, ignoring the pointed look she received. Instead, she licked it slowly, deliberately, teasing him into another battle. She knew how to play this game.
He stared with the same expression. God, his eyes were so dark (did he ever sleep, did he care?)
"Misa-san, I thought sugar made you fat."
She narrowed her eyes. He wasn't as easy as some of the others. Of course not, this was Ryuuzaki she was dealing with. Every word was carefully weighted, every movement pondered.
He knew just how far to push before stopping, before winning. But Ryuuzaki (L, she liked it far better) had never played this game. In this game, Misa always won.
She pulled the soggy cube from her mouth and set it back on the tower. It was an unnecessary move, but she still reveled in the way his face twisted just a millimeter in annoyance.
"But a lick won't hurt, ne Ryuuzaki-san?"
He nodded in compliance and Misa felt the burning sensation in her veins increase ten fold. She watched closely as he picked up the same cube from the top of the stack and twirled it between his fingers.
Her eyes held the question she was itching to ask, are you going to eat it?
He stood up quickly, almost too abruptly but he caught himself with the ease that she had come to associate with the detective. Misa recoiled out of habit. Had she pushed too far? He wouldn't hurt her (would he)?
He peered down at her from the soft fall of his disheveled hair. The sugar cube spun faster between his agile fingers. This is it…
"Misa-san," his voice was almost strained, "don't think I haven't played this game before. It's best that you give up now before things get out of hand."
Misa was truly impressed by his restraint. Perhaps she had underestimated him, maybe he really was… is that why…the handcuffs? She shuddered at the thought.
Misa wouldn't make the same mistake twice. She had to win, for herself, for Light.
Ryuuzaki had been watching her again. She could tell from the way his irises were clouded. Misa smiled at the warning in his eyes and reached out to pull a piece of his dark hair (soft and dead) taut between her fingers.
The faintest shiver ran through his spine and her smile only widened
"I don't think Light would like you doing this," he remarked. Misa's fingers tightened in his hair. He didn't flinch, just merely stared.
Misa forced down the sickness in her stomach as she glanced at her sleeping boyfriend, who was oblivious to the tension coating the air around him. She doubted, in her heart of hearts, that he would care if he caught her with L.
"I'm sure you can keep a secret," she replied, willing herself not to be intimidated away until she had beaten him at his own game.
His eyes widened a fraction of an inch .She knew that there was nothing that he could've factored into that. Misa knew a lot of things about Ryuuzaki right now.
The way his skin was soft and white and warm.
The way his face appeared almost handsome in the shadows.
The way his eyes saw but didn't see.
But most off all, Misa knew that he had lost.
Blind game again, quite a worn out broken doll.
"Misa," he had dropped the honorific (her heart twisted with a foreign glee), "I won't be able to stop myself."
There's a temptation I certainly hadn't expected to be so incomprehensible.
His tone was hoarse and Misa's smile stretched impossibly over her whole face.
She said nothing, just waited; for his downfall and her rise. Misa has won.
A second later, his lips descended on hers.
His hands came to rest delicately on her waist and her own pulled his head closer. He was a good kisser, surprisingly. Refined and graceful as always. Misa wanted to scream at the injustice (why was he always so poised?), to break him in her hands but she only grabbed the wrinkled front of his shirt and pressed him closer.
His voice was jagged as he broke away.
Their fate was sealed the second he had uttered her name. She had blinded him, the one man that saw everything.
It wasn't really a victory. She was unbalanced and flushed with something other than pride. Her lips were bruised and her lip gloss smeared.
But L's face was unguarded and his eyes (the ones that were blind yet not) were unjudging. She devoured his expression. His cheeks were pink and his lips moistened. For the first time, Misa thought he looked alive.
I want to be broken with you.
If this hadn't been a game, if Misa hadn't been so incessantly devoted to Light, if the chain around his wrist wasn't clanking so violently, she might've fallen in love with the smooth angles of his lips and the diluted innocence in his eyes.
Misa swallowed nervously at her straying thoughts. No, she and Ryuuzaki were too different, separated by more than just fate. Misa bit her lip and started. It tasted like him, like sugar and candy and affection.
No, she willed herself, think of Light (so handsome but ugly). Yes, think of Light and the new dawn where people will only see what they want to see.
And Misa wanted to see this; this victory.
She grabbed his slightly pink face and blinded him over and over again.
Finally, Misa has won.
It was a few days later that Misa caught his eye behind Light's back.
His gaze was lifeless and broken. She grinned at him unabashed. Misa had torn him apart, drank in his taste and promptly spit it out.
He gave her a hint of a sad smile, his eyes swimming with something she couldn't describe. She blinked and it was gone, replaced by a blank stare and a thumb in his mouth.
She shook her head, and went back to hanging over Light's arm, ignoring his burning gaze. Ryuuzaki had lost, and that's all she wanted in the first place.
Misa discovered that night, that she couldn't get rid of the taste of him, of the feel of him. Her lips tingled with memory and she screamed, scrubbing at her body in a frenzied passion. But she couldn't get rid of him. His skin, his lips, his eyes.
No! No! No!
She sank to the ground slowly, arms limp and aching at her sides.
Drastic game, quite a worn out crumpled doll
Misa understood. In this game (this blind game), there were no winners.
L watched from the safety of his cameras and smiled sadly, fingers ghosting over the cracked plane of his lips.
Blind game again, quite a worn out doll
Let's stop time in the instant where we burn everything