Riley Versus Winter

Summary: Riley Poole is the smartest, best-looking computer hacker he knows. He even helped steal the Declaration of Independence and found a couple of great treasures with his best friend. But can he beat Mother Nature when she unleashes winter?

Disclaimer: Riley, Ben, and Abigail are not mine (along with Batman, Power Rangers, and Scooby-Doo, PEZ, or Reese's), and neither is winter, unfortunately. If I did own winter, I would make it go away now.

A/N: All right, this is my third National Treasure fic, but it's also my first humorous one. So no flames please. I will get back to writing "Three Words" as soon as I can. This story takes place from Riley's point of view, so enjoy!

You know, when I was a kid, winter was the best. It was my favorite time of year. I mean, I got to have snowball fights with all the other neighborhood kids, I got to go sledding with my dad, and there was always a chance that there was going to be a snow day where school was cancelled because there was too much snow. How there can be too much snow, I didn't know. Now, though, I have absolutely no idea how I loved the stuff or even winter in general. I mean, come on, it gets freaking below zero every single night! It is freezing! But this winter was going to be the worst, I could feel it.

I woke up one morning in my little apartment, feeling as though I was frozen solid. Literally. I was that cold. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, I found the source of what had turned my apartment into a winter wonderland. The heater had broken down sometime in the night. Wonderful. Since it was a Saturday, I would not be able to call the maintenance people who did all the repair jobs for free that all us lazy people don't do until Monday. So, since my heater wasn't working, I decided to do the next best thing to warm myself up. I decided to take a hot shower. Score… Winter: 1, Riley: 0

Now, I know that it takes a while for the water to get warm after you turn it on, but I knew as soon as I stepped into the shower that it wasn't the normal turn-on-the-shower-immediate coldness. It felt as though icicles were raining on me, except they weren't as hard. Or sharp. Great. Now I also have no hot water. Score… Winter: 2, Riley: 0

But I had one last home to make the morning worthwhile. It was Saturday for crying out loud, the day that I can sit in front of the television and chill (ha, ha, chill…) while watching my favorite cartoons… er, shows. Leaving the shower immediately, I got dressed and bundled up in my favorite hoodie and plopped down on the couch and picked up the remote, turning on the T.V. Winter may have taken my heat and hot water, but the weather could not take away my pleasurable T.V. viewing time. Score… Winter: 2, Riley: 1

Oh, how wrong I was. I found my station as soon as I turned the T.V. on, right in time for Batman, but there was no masked man running around in a black cape fighting crime. Instead, there were weather reports talking about an upcoming blizzard or something like that. Now, I was mad. All right. Winter could have made my apartment negative bazillion degrees, made my shower rain icicles, but take away the Dark Knight and we have some serious issues. Score… Winter: 3, Riley: 0

Then, to make matters even worse, I sneezed. Dang. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Then, while in the middle of sneezing my brain out, I could not breathe through my nose. Great. I haven't had a cold since I was like six, and now my nose is completely stuffed up, and my head feels so tense that it'll probably explode soon. Score… Winter: 4, Riley: 0

Groaning, I turned my T.V. off in the middle of the stupid weather warning or whatever it was and ran to my bathroom to see if by chance I had some sort of medicine that would help me deal with the massive pressure in my head. But, having not been sick for as long as I can remember, I didn't see how that was possible. But by some rare stroke of luck, I found a small box that had the word "cold" on it. I grabbed it and opened it after I read the back (fights both stuffiness and headaches!), and what was even better than finding the magical box was that there was even a pill left in it. Even luckier than that, it had not yet passed the expiration date. Score… Winter: 4, Riley: 1

I quickly downed the pill with water, thankful that I had at least something. But, the only downside was that the box read that the magical tablet only lasted four stinkin' hours (shouldn't it last longer?), and I could tell that this cold wasn't going away in that short time. Winter was about to gain another point when I, Riley Poole, snatched it away. Ben. Why didn't I think of him before? The guy was rich. I knew if I whined enough, I could probably get a lot of cold meds. Score… Winter: 4, Riley: 2

So, I grabbed my coat and made my way out the door. Ben was so overprotective and Abi was like an annoying but caring older sister that I knew I would be set for months. That was why I wasn't worried when I stepped outside and felt that it was about one hundred degrees colder than my apartment. Ben and Abi would take good care of me.

But, that didn't mean that winter was any more merciful. The entire ground turned out to be covered by a thick blanket of ice. I soon found this out when I was suddenly acquainted with it, which didn't make my already pounding head feel any better. Now, my head was pressurized because of my cold and sore from the bump on the back that I was likely to have for the next week. Feeling dizzy, I managed to get to my feet and make my way to my car without falling again and saved myself from further embarrassment. Then, I pulled on the door handle and pulled the car door open.

Uh… I said I pulled on the door handle and pulled the car door open. Or not. Great. Now the door of my car was frozen shut. Another thing to add to my bad day list…

Until it got worse.

"Hey, Riley. Having problems?"

I looked up and saw none other than Sarah Bell, my talented, track-running (not to mention hot and single) neighbor. She must have been going on her morning ice sprint.

"No, Sarah. Not at all," I lied with one of those cheesy smiles that I had in my arsenal of charming expressions. "No problems…"

That is until I got hit in the side of the head with a snowball and slipped on the ice for the second time in five minutes. I swear, my head could take no more damage. I don't want to lose any of my genius after all. To make matters worse, Sarah came running over to me and helped me up just as the trouble-making kids from down the block ran away laughing. My cheeks were red, but I'm sure that it wasn't because of the cold air…

"Are you okay, Riley?" Sarah asked with what seemed to be genuine concern.

"Yeah. I just… can't get my car door open," I finally admitted with a sheepish smile, another one of my prized expressions.

"Oh. Let me help you." Sarah waltzed right past me and used those iron muscles of her to pull open my car door with ease. Well, isn't she queen of the universe?

"I, uh… loosened it for you," I muttered while Sarah laughed and ruffled my hair.

"Be careful, Riley." Then, before I could say another word, she was off, sprinting across the ice like it was no big deal.

She digged me. "Be careful, Riley" could easily be interpreted as, "Want to go to a movie sometime, Riley?" Too bad I made a complete idiot of myself in front of her. With a sigh, I climbed into my car and began my drive to Ben's. Score… Winter: 7, Riley: 2

The drive itself wasn't so bad… unless you were a grandma who really had no place to be like ever. Even though the pill was far from losing its effect, I could feel my cold coming on full force. Well… I thought that the cold medicine hadn't been past its expiration date. I could have been wrong, I guess. It's been known to happen… on occasion.

Ben's large, fancy house soon came into sight like a lighthouse is to a boat lost at sea. My head was so fuzzy by this point that I did indeed feel like a boat lost in a fog, and was relieved to see the lighthouse known as my best friend's estate. I parked next to Ben's fancy car and hurried up to the door, stumbling when I almost slipped on the ice packed on the steps. I knocked on the door about a thousand times (at least, that's what it felt like to me) until Ben finally came to the door. Certain to say he was surprised to see me.

"Riley, what are you doing here? There's going to be a blizzard!"

I felt like saying, "You think I don't know that? I missed Batman because of it!" But, I restrained myself and merely told him my situation. I said that my apartment had no heat, no hot water, and I had a very annoying cold (which sounded like "code" when I said it) and a pounding head, both from my cold and falling on the ice twice. He let me in right away. Ha! Point for Riley! Score… Winter: 7, Riley: 3

You know how in movies when the cute, comic relief guy (cough, me, cough) goes to the not so cute main guy's (cough, Ben, cough… dang cough…) house when he's sick and is presented with the royal treatment? Placed on a way-too-comfortable-looking chair, feet placed in a hot tub of water with a thermometer in their mouth? Well… I was one step short of that. Ben did place me in a comfortable chair that reclined (in front of the television too! And what do you know, Batman is on! I love Ben's T.V.!), and draped a heavy blanket over my shoulders after he removed my wet coat and shoes while putting a pillow behind my head. The guy can multi-task. And sure enough, Abi came into the living room shortly after and stuck the thermometer in my mouth. I could get used to this. Score… Winter: 7, Riley: 4

"Your temperature is a little high," Abi muttered as she read the thermometer after it beeped annoyingly at her, placing her hand on my forehead.

"It's a good thing you came here, Riley," Ben added from where he stood beside the chair. Way to go, Captain Obvious. "If you would have stayed in your apartment without heat, your cold could have developed into something worse."

"Like… pneumonia or the flu or something else equally fun?" I offered with a small smile, trying to add some humor to the conversation.

"Yeah, like something that fun," Ben muttered sarcastically. Man, the guy had to learn to take a joke.

"The blizzard isn't reported to arrive in another hour or so," Ben continued, his words directed at Abi. "I think I'll run to the pharmacy and pick up some cold medicine for Riley before it hits. That way, he'll have something to take. Hopefully, I can get some fever reducer as well."

Sweet! I'm getting my meds after all! I knew the guy would come through! Score… Winter: 7, Riley: 5

"And I'll make him some hot chicken noodle soup," Abi added, smiling as she ruffled my hair (why do people insist on doing that?). "Perfect remedy for colds."

Double sweet! Abi's chicken noodle soup was the best! That had to be worth more than one point. Score… Winter: 7, Riley: 7

Abi got to making the soup after kissing Ben good-bye and telling him to be careful out on the slippery roads. Hey, if I can drive all the way here with a fuzzy head, Ben can sure drive to the pharmacy with a completely clear one. While Abi disappeared into the kitchen, I began to doze off as the T.V. changed from Batman to Power Rangers. I don't know how long I was out, but I was soon woken with a gentle nudge. I opened my eyes, squinting at the light coming down on me from the ceiling, and saw that Abi was standing over me with a smile lighting up her face.

"Here's your soup, Riley," she told me sweetly, gesturing toward a steaming bowl of some of the best stuff known to man witting on a T.V. tray. "Eat it before it gets cold."

I couldn't help but smile as I sat up, wincing as I did so. Ow… My head hurt so freaking bad! Probably from all the stuff it was going through all at once- the pressure from my cold, hitting it on the ice twice, and now a stupid fever. It hurt like crazy! But, I had to thank my friend for her life-saving soup. So, I simply said, "Abs, you're the best!" It wasn't much, but it would have to do.

Abi smiled, but my wince had been noticed, and I could tell by the look on her face that she hoped Ben would return soon. As a matter of fact, so did I. He had my meds. Where was that guy?

As if on cue, Ben came through the front door at that moment with snow flurries coming in after him. The man himself was covered in snow and had a bright red nose and cheeks. Ha, he looked like a snowman except for the carrot for a nose and eyes of coal.

"The blizzard hit sooner than expected," Ben explained to Abi as she helped him to remove his soaked winter apparel. Then, he gestured into the next room where I was sitting, eating my soup. "How is he?" Ah. I'm right here, Ben. Why don't you ask me how I'm feeling?

"I'm not exactly sure," Abi admitted. Smart girl. "He hasn't been complaining too much. He's actually been pretty good."

"Then something's definitely wrong with him." Not cool, Ben. I don't whine that much. "Though I do have something to keep him from whining."

He disappeared into the kitchen and then walked over to me with a glass of water and two small boxes of some sort of wonder pills. "Here, take the fever reducer first," Ben instructed, setting the glass on the T.V. try beside my soup and handing me one of the boxes. Yes, Mom. I took it and looked it over, seeing that it had an obnoxiously long name that I couldn't pronounce. Well, I could tell that I would never be going to the store and asking for these. After I took one, he handed me the box that would help combat my really annoying cold. Go figure. Another name that I couldn't pronounce, even if I was taking French (come on. A name like this has to be foreign!). I wouldn't be getting these ever again either. But Ben was rich, and he would only get the best of the best medication for his sick best friend… right?

I inwardly smirked at the stupid-looking grin on his face as I swallowed the second pill. Nice try, Ben, but super-powered meds wouldn't keep me from complaining. The only thing that could is…

Special edition Scooby-Doo PEZ dispensers armed with tons of reinforcements! There were five dispensers total (you know, one for each person), and about five extra packs of strawberry candy per dispenser, along with one pack of the new debut lemon flavor. All right, maybe Ben was on to something here. I'll give him credit. There is a reason that the guy is my best friend! Then, he pulled out a bag of mini Reese's peanut butter cups. Sweet! I love peanut butter! All right, I lied when I said Ben wasn't cool. Ben is the best!

"That should keep you quiet," Ben said jokingly as he placed his hand on my forehead to check my temperature.

I nodded with a smile, already having a PEZ candy in my mouth. Kinda' weird coming out of Scooby's head, but whatever!

"I don't want you going home tonight, Riley," Ben continued seriously. "The roads are terrible and the weather is frigid. I want to make sure that your fever stays down. You're pretty much snowed in anyway…"

For the first time, I looked out the window and saw that the sky was indeed dark. Not just dark, but like dark dark. Apocalyptic dark (okay, maybe not that dark. But it was dark!). Then, you couldn't see anything outside because of all the blinding snow. Great. I was trapped with Ben and Abi in their large house (and I would have a heck of a time shoveling my car out, or just even finding it in the snow!). Score… Winter: 8, Riley: 7

Wait. Being stuck at Ben's is like one of the best things ever! He has heat and hot water, and I don't have to spend a night in my own cheap apartment. I leaned back in the chair with a wide smile on my face as I ate another PEZ candy. This was gonna' rule. Final score… Winter: 8, Riley: 8

Oh, and just because I'm awesome, I add a hundred points to my score. Ha. I win.

The End

A/N: Again, just a humorous, random, little oneshot. Hoped you enjoyed! Your reviews are much appreciated, but no flames please!