I Never VI

OMG!!! An update!!! I totally love spell check! Thank you for all the reviews! I wish that I'd had more on the latest chapter for feedback, so that I would know how to better please you guys. I really worked hard to grind this chapter out in a somewhat timely manner. (Well, I'll explain more at the bottom…)

I don't condone underage drinking and characters are Hoshino's.

Lavi quickly exited, not wanting to leave the other two together unsupervised. He found the two women sitting in a room a few down the hall from his own. Lenalee was lying on her bed, while Miranda was sitting up on her own reading a book. She looked up from her book, when she noticed Lavi standing in the doorway.

"Hello, Lavi." She placed her bookmark into her book and stood to greet him.

"Hey, Miranda, do you have any nail polish remover on you?" He asked immediately.

"Yes, hold on a minute." She pulled out her bag and began looking through it. "Ah, here you are." She handed him a small bottle with yellowish liquid in it.

"Thanks, I'll bring it back in a minute," he said while exiting the room. He rushed back to his room. Kanda glared at him as he entered. Lavi pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and began to dampen it with the solution. "This will take the polish off, and it will be like it was never there."

Kanda said nothing a Lavi approached and took his right hand. Lavi began to wipe the polish off of each fingernail. Kanda wasn't sure that he liked this plan, because of how strange the remover made his fingernails feel. 'And women do this on purpose.' He inwardly scoffed at the idea. Lavi moved to the other side and started cleaning his left hand.

'How am I going to manage to tell him what I did to him last night?' Lavi contemplated his predicament as he cleaned the last of the polish from Kanda's fingernails. 'Also, should I tell him about the polish on his toes? I think I'll let him find that one on his own…' He cleared his throat. "Hey, Kanda, you know how I can be kind of an immature ass, right?"

"Only 'kind of?'" Kanda raised an eyebrow. "You practically make a full time profession of it."

"Well, I suppose you're right…" Lavi did not want to anger Kanda at a moment like this. He really did want to live to take over the role of Bookman. Plus, if he died, his master would probably raise him from the dead just to kill him. "You see, I did something really stupid last night."

"Even dumber than painting my nails?" Kanda asked dryly.

Lavi swallowed. "Yes. Even dumber than that."

Kanda's eyes widened in shock and fear, which was certainly not the reaction the redhead expected. Kanda's voice was shaky, when he spoke again. "You, you mean to tell me that- that you got Lenalee pregnant last night?"

Lavi paused. "N-no. I don't have that big of a death wish. What I did wasn't that stupid, but I think that you'll be very upset with me."

Kanda narrowed his eyes. "What else did you do to me?"

"Well, you see," There was no beating around the bush. He just had to come out and say it and accept the loss of a limb or two. "I placed your hand in a warm glass of water, while you were passed out."


"So, that generally has the effect of causing the owner of the hand to urinate whilst sleeping." Kanda's eyes widened. "H-however, I was not sure that the desired effect would be achieved, so I emptied the contents of the glass in that area to insure your assumption of the situation."

Kanda hated how Lavi's speech became more technical, when he was nervous. "So, you're saying that I may or may not have pissed myself, but either way, it's your fault."

"Yeah, and I'm sorry."

"You know, that's a pretty gross prank…" Kanda was quite relieved to find out that it was not his fault. He had not gotten so smashed that he passed out and lost control. Control. Kanda always wanted to feel in control, but his anger often got the better of him. "I really would love to kick your ass right now…" Kanda growled as he clenched his fist around Mugen's hilt and gritted his teeth.

"H-however you have found it in your heart to spare me?" Lavi asked with a nervous smile. He was getting ready to run for it.

"You totally deserve a beating on the high seas! You are loud mouthed, annoying, and immature. But, for some reason I feel calm enough to not beat you." Kanda did not know what came over him. He was never calm and would never pass up an opportunity to give a well-deserved beating, especially to someone who bothered him incessantly, like Lavi did.

"That's odd…" Lavi looked at the bottle in his hand. Realization suddenly washed over him. 'Oh, yeah! This is the nail polish remover that I drugged a few missions ago so that Miranda would calm down. Damn, I am so glad I did that!' The widest grin spread over Lavi's face.

"Seeing you with that stupid grin is usually enough to make me angry… When I start feeling like normal again, I'll kick your ass into last week!"

"How about you just prank him later for revenge?" Allen had finally found his voice again. Kanda turned to regard the small boy. "Well, it doesn't seem like beating Lavi has ever worked…" Allen paused. 'Maybe Lavi enjoys it… Is he a masochist?' Allen shook the thought from his head and continued. "You could always give him a dose of his own medicine, when he least expects it." The mischievous sheen that darkened Allen's features in sketchy situations had found its way to his face.

"Hey!" Lavi shouted. "Whose side are you on?"

"Who said that I had to choose a side?" Allen asked with a wry smile.

"The bean sprout-"


"Yeah, whatever. He does have a point," Kanda said with a smirk of his own. "I'll just get you back, when you least expect it."

"Um…okay…" Lavi was hoping that Kanda would just forget, but that would be unlikely. He worried that a prank pulled by Kanda would be more brutal. He shook the fear from his head. "So, now that we have that cleared up, what are we going to do for the rest of the journey?"

"Beats me," The white-haired boy said with a shrug.

"I have no idea…" Krory murmured from the bottom of the other bunk, where he had been sitting unnoticed during the altercation. No one remembered if he had been in the room from the start or wandered in later, but Krory did have a knack for sitting in plain sight totally unnoticed.

"Well, I'd love to do something to get out of working for that crusty old panda…" Lavi receded into the depths of his mind to try and find something to do. "Say, Allen, do you have a pack of cards on you?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?" Allen replied.

"I didn't think the Pope could be any other religion…" A look of confusion had settled on Krory's face.

"It's an expression," The other three clarified.


"So, what card game did you want to play?" The boy's gray eyes sparkled as he asked the question.

"One where cheating is totally futile." Lavi sighed as he remembered watching Allen cheat at poker on numerous occasions.

"Lame!" The shorter boy protested.

"Nah, it's not lame!" Contradicted the redhead. "We're gonna play another drinking game! It uses a standard deck of playing cards. I promise that this time we won't get wasted. So, gentlemen, go get us a table near the bar. I'll go grab the ladies and meet you there in a couple of minutes!"

The other men did not protest. They simply nodded and exited their quarters.


Did I just win an award for anticlimactic confrontations? I'm sorry if that disappointed anyone, but I really wanted to put Kanda and Lavi into a prank war instead. I promise that the next one will be longer.

And, yes, next chapter is another drinking game!

Please, PLEASE review. It'll help me write better and update faster. Tell me who you'd like to see the drunkest!

So I managed to write this chapter even with all the medical stuff I've been through this summer…5 doctor's appointments, 11 x-rays, removal of wisdom teeth, an MRI…and now I'm short 4 wisdom teeth, know that I'm still legally blind with 20/300 vision, and almost dislocated my right shoulder and have to have physical therapy to try to correct it with a 50% success rate. Well, enough about my life please review to encourage me!!!