Hey readers! This is my first fanfic I've uploaded. I was bored today and I decided to write something. Plus I really wanted to do some Mass Effect fanfiction because I love the game so much.

Alright, so this story is basically Saren's thoughts, sorry if I didn't get his personality right, I tried.

The idea for this started when I was on the Mass Effect forums over at the BioWare site. Basically there was a "Who would you like to romance?" topic, and someone had said Saren, I thought about it for a bit and I thought a Saren romance would be really interesting. I was also inspired by Darth Sion's one-sided feelings for female exile.

So this Fanfic was born!

This may or may not contain spoilers, so it's recommended you read it if you finished Virmire on Mass Effect.

I hope its okay. I'd love comments, constructive criticism is welcomed also.

So Enjoy!

The ship…the Reaper by the name Sovereign was drifting through space. Sitting alone with his thoughts in the darkness and silence, Saren was leaning back in his chair. He had one hand placed on his forehead, and his eyes were closed tightly.


That was all Saren could think about. Ever since he returned to Sovereign from Virmire, the first moment of silence he had, the first thoughts that flooded his mind were of her, Shepard.

He remembered what happened on Virmire very well. He remembered the warmth of the sunlight beating down on him, the water and sand that surrounded his facility, and he, of course, remembered his face to face encounter with the first human spectre, Commander Shepard. He remembered how she looked, and who she was with. Her companions were an asari and a turian, however he didn't care about them much. Her physical appearance consisted of red hair tied in a bun, violet eyes, her skin was tan, it wasn't a very dark tan however, and he also remembered her to have about two scars. Saren had found her fairly ….beautiful.

The word beautiful itself disgusted Saren. The thoughts of her disgusted him, the thoughts of her beauty disgusted him more, but the thoughts of his infatuation with her disgusted him the most. The more he thought about it, the more disgusted he was, but also the more he thought about it, the more infatuated he became

He had given her the offer of submission, joining them, she rejected it immediately. She however had an offer of her own, that consisted of Saren betraying Sovereign, and possibly joining her. The thoughts of taking it had flowed through his mind, in the end he refused the offer, maybe should have accepted…NO! He wouldn't…He couldn't, or maybe he could have…

GRAAAAGH! The thoughts of his doubts and of her had began to make him frustrated , he slammed his hands on the sides of his head, his teeth clenched and his mouth flaps flaring in strong emotion. Ever since Virmire...ever since meeting HER these doubts, these thoughts…these thoughts of betrayal, thoughts of her, the thoughts of these foolish emotions, the emotions he felt for HER a human, disgusting…DISGUSTING.

These same thoughts kept running through his head, over and over…over AND OVER!

Saren growled and slammed his hands on the sides of his chair in anger. He then sighed and leaned back into his chair, and placed his hand back on his forehead, and breathed in and out to calm down from his intense emotion…from his intense anger. He closed his eyes and moved his hand down to his cheek, and once again was taken prisoner of his thoughts.

Another thing he remembered was her fighting skill, after their brief talk at the bombsite they had not come to an agreement, so they engaged in combat. Saren had gotten onto his glider, and Shepard had pulled out her gun, a pistol to be exact. The water was up just past Shepard's boots she had two members of her crew beside her, one on either side. The asari was carrying a pistol as well, and the turian had a sniper rifle in his hand.

Shepard fired a few shots at him, the move she had just made, had led Saren to believe that he had the upper hand in this battle. However, there just happened to be a fuel line near where the glider was floating, and she made a few skilful shots, and the thing exploded. Saren had taken major damage from the explosion, Shepard however had fell into the lukewarm water, leaving her fairly vulnerable. Saren immediately got off the glider and headed directly towards her. She didn't see him coming at first; she was busy looking towards the wounded male human near the bomb.

However, as soon as Saren got within arms reach he took her by surprise, and dragged her off the ground and into the air by her throat. The action was obviously choking the human spectre, so her reaction was to firmly put her hands near her throat and where Saren's hand was. Her bun had become loose, and some hair that had fallen out of it was in front of her face. One thing Saren remembered, was when he was holding her…was looking her right in the eye. Her eyes were an amazing feature; it was most likely looking deep into her eyes that started his disgusting infatuation.

However a second of distraction had left him vulnerable and he received a swift, strong punch to the face. His hand let go, and she fell free. Noticing the timer on the bomb Saren admitted defeat for the moment and headed back to his glider; he took a final look at her, and then turned his back to her. After that Shepard's ship had flown in, and she made her escape.

The recent memory had been replaying in his mind over and over. It was like an addiction that had taken him by force, it wasn't possible to think about anything else.

This emotion…this feeling was the most hated by Saren; the passion he was feeling in his heart was driving him mad.

There truly was a fine line between love and hate