Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But I wrote this story, so I totally own the story. Is that enough?
A Laidback Guy
Hatake Kakashi was one extremely laidback guy. With his scruffy do, chronic tardiness and drawling voice, he had to be one of the coolest, most relaxed shinobi Konoha had to offer. Whether faced with S-class criminals or feminist anti-porn protesters, he managed to maintain a level of unruffled calm which could rival most inanimate objects. His apathetic demeanour was renowned throughout the village and his ability to meet any given situation with a vacant smile was lauded among other shinobi who secretly wished they were as cool as the great Copy Ninja.
So when he beat the living piss out of a cocky young chuunin during a friendly sparring session, the shinobi disciplinary committee chalked it up to a fit of temporary insanity and let him off with a light fine and a quick psych evaluation carried out by Shizune.
The black-haired woman smiled up at him as he handed her the completed evaluation sheet.
"Thank you Kakashi-san, I'll see that that's all in order." She glanced around and leaned forward conspiratorially. "Personally I think that little creep deserved everything you gave him. I've heard he gets very grabby when sparring with the girls. Why just last week, Sakura complained that he…" her voice trailed off and she looked up at the silver-haired man, eyes widening.
He smiled at her vacantly. "Is that so? I had no idea. Well, have a nice day Shizune-san." Kakashi gave her a cheerful wave and left the room.
As previously stated, Hatake Kakashi was one extremely laidback guy. Except when it came to Haruno Sakura and people invading her personal space. And by "people," that covered pretty much any human of the masculine persuasion. From S-class criminals to the leering old man who sold vegetables to overly-familiar patients at the hospital – "A hug of gratitude for her saving my life, my ASS!" – anyone who dared to sully his former student would lose a limb. At least.
"Dog in the manger," Genma mumbled one evening in the jounin's lounge.
"I am not."
"Oh, so you are dating her then?"
"Like I said; woof, woof." The senbon-chewing ninja headed for the door, dipping his head to the side to avoid the teaspoon which shot through the air and embedded itself handle first into the opposite wall. Kakashi hadn't really been aiming for him anyway.
"Would you like to come to my place for dinner tomorrow night? I made way too much curry and I can't eat it all by myself."
Kakashi was one extremely laidback guy. He also didn't like curry, and he knew there was a good reason that his former student became a kunoichi rather than a chef. He turned up on her doorstep only half an hour late, feeling a little less laidback than usual. Maybe it had something to do with the red dress she was wearing, and the sparkle in her eyes when she greeted him at the door.
The curry wasn't that bad, especially when he factored in the kiss Sakura shyly pressed against his cheek when he left.
Kakashi was one laidback guy. He was so unbearably cool that it made green lycra-clad shinobi weep with envy. He was so relaxed that S-class criminals and cocky teenage chuunin fatally underestimated him. He was so blasé and mysterious that women despaired of ever understanding him, and gave up. He was so calm and unruffled that lesser shinobi spread bitter gossip about drug addictions behind his back. He was so casual that the village elders called him irresponsible and useless, just like his father. And he smiled so vacantly, even in the worst situations that he managed to hide everything going on beneath the mask.
But then his former student peeled back the mask, and kissed his cheek, and didn't recoil in horror at the darkness inside. She didn't seem to realize that he was extremely laidback, and cool, and relaxed, and blasé, and mysterious; so calm and unruffled; so casual and therefore completely unqualified to interact on a meaningful level with human beings. She didn't seem to think that his smile was vacant; and maybe it wasn't, when he was smiling at her.
Hatake Kakashi was one extremely laidback guy. He was all things cool and cucumber-like, clothed in navy cloth and a forehead protector. He was calm, apathetic, and a liberal dispenser of empty smiles.
So that when he came to the Hokage to ask if it would be at all convenient if he and her pink-haired apprentice eloped together some time next week, it was chalked up to insanity, and Tsunade let them off with a quick civil service, followed by a month-long honeymoon in Wave Country.
Author's Note: I find myself unable to write anything long or cohesive since finishing my thesis...I've just been writing fun things to feed my kakasaku muse. If you enjoyed this on any level, I'd love to know!