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Xx Alice's Sorrow xX

I hated looking into Bella's future. What stupid thing was she going to do next? It seemed the only thing my gift was used for lately to keep her safe for Edward. Stupid, stupid vampire Edward, who wouldn't know a good thing if it came up to him and did the tango. Which, come to think of it, Bella had done at prom. Just goes to prove my point.

The worst part of looking into Bella's future was seeing her wedding to Edward…I don't know, it's just, the more time I spent with her, the more I seemed to be falling in love. Yes, I, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, was falling in love with Bella. And it was not going to be good.

I had set it in my mind that I would tell her. Go back to Forks, visit her, and at the right time be all "Yeah, and I've secretly loved you for about a year and I can't ever do anything about it because Edward would kill me." That would go over well, not.

So I contented myself with what would happen if I did tell Bella. The visions I got were great: she loved me too, even with all my quirks. But then the image would shift over to Jasper and Edward…the miserable looks on their faces were ones I would never forget as long as I lived.

I finally made my decision. I was getting on the next flight to Seattle, picking up my 911 Turbo, and getting to Bella's as fast as possible, without breaking all the speeding laws.

XxXxXxX

Well, I did it. Sort of. Okay, not really. Or not at all. I, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, am a complete coward. A coward because I would not, not I could not, have those visions come true. I could not be responsible for those looks on my love and my brother's faces. The guilt would stay with me until the end of time.

The perfect moment came too. We were sitting there, just talking about nothing and everything, VH1 Classic playing in the background. I could have done it when she tried to ask how the rest of the family was: Had Carlisle found work? Was Esme enjoying the new town? What about Emmett? Had he found any new irritable grizzlies to mess with?

I could have said it. Yes, he's at a new hospital. No, it was too boring and sad for her. He's good, but not a lot of grizzlies by us. And, oh yeah, Jasper and…Edward (have to remember how sensitive she is about him)…are heartbroken. Oh, why? Just because they've found out I've fallen madly in love with you. Yeah that would work. With my luck, she'd probably faint.

Then the moment passed and I did nothing more than answer her questions and be the shoulder for her to cry on, like a proper best friend. I consoled her; whispering "It'll be alright" to her, as she screamed through her nightmares.

Once, after a particularly horrible nightmare, I woke her up. "What's wrong? What was it this time?" I asked, scared out of my mind.

"I-it it was…yo-you." She sobbed. "Y-you left me…a…and so did…every…everyone else!"

"Sh, sh, pretty Bella, darling Bella. I would never leave you." I whispered, stroking her hair. "Remember when I promised I'd change you if…he…didn't?

Bella nodded. "Ye-yes." She hiccupped.

"I still will. I would never leave you to sit here in stinky Forks with stinky Mike Newton the rest of your life!"

She laughed weakly before letting out a jaw-cracking yawn. "Thank you Alice…"

"Sleep, Bella. We'll talk more when you can keep your eyes open for longer."

As she fell asleep in my arms, I came to realize why Edward had treasured every night, just watching her sleep. I grabbed a nearby notebook and began my planning.

Because if Bella wasn't mine, her wedding at least would be.