Hey! We're back, with the prequel to the sequel!! Watch as chaos runs rampant! Literally!

Chapter One:

Do-Gooder-Chicken-Minions

"Now, I know I asked you to find me a new hideout, but this is even smaller than the last!" the Dark Lord Voldemort exclaimed to his followers while sitting on a toilet in a bathroom stall. "Couldn't we at least knock down the walls in between to give me more space? I can't even fit my desk in here!" All of Voldemort's possessions sat in a pile out by the sinks.

"My lord, it is more secretive; nobody comes in here," Narcissa replied bowing her head. Voldemort's eyebrows shot up.

"Why?" the Slytherins all looked around each other until finally Lucius spoke.

"It is Moaning Myrtle's bathroom," the Dark Lord's eyes widened fearfully.

"Moaning…Myrtle?" he managed to whisper. Just then, a silvery figure of a girl floated past sniffling and moaning (A/N: Obviously.). She took one glance at Voldemort and began to scream and wail louder.

"You threw your diary at me! And you're a boy. Boys are not allowed in here! Go away and leave me to my death in peace!" she shrieked and began to fly at Voldemort. He in turn screamed and began to run.

"Out of my way! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" He burst through the door and ran down the hallway bellowing. Unfortunately for him, he ran right past Dumbledore who was on his evening stroll.

"Oh dear," he said watching Voldemort round the corner into the stairwell with Myrtle in pursuit. "It does appear that we have a problem…"

OoO

"Peter," said James quietly, "we have a problem." Peter Pettigrew sat gagged and bound from head to foot by assorted laundry from the room on his bed. Sweat beads were pouring down his forehead. Sirius was holding a beater's bat and Remus was finishing tying Peter to one of the poles on his bed.

"We can't let you do this Peter," Sirius venomously stated. "For that, we are placing you under Marauder Probation."

"What's Marauder Probation?" squeaked Peter in terror through Sirius's underwear.

"It means you don't get special Marauder privileges until you prove yourself trustful and worthy again," quoted James from the Marauder Handbook. He looked at the rather clean page, for Marauder Probation had only been created yesterday. The rest of the pages were battered and filthy. They contained rules (from Remus; he said the Marauders had to follow some sorts of rules) and victories (mostly victories; James and Sirius used the Handbook to record their greatest pranks, to Remus's dismay) from the past seven years.

"But Peter," asked Remus, "why would you betray us in the first place?"

Peter put on the most pathetic face he could conjure. "They made me. I didn't want to, but the Slytherins said they would hurt me if I didn't help them. I'm really sorry, guys." The three Marauders looked around at each other.

Then James responded, "We'll take care of the Slytherins, Peter. Just tell us next time they threaten you. But, it will have to wait for tomorrow because I have to go on patrol now."

"Me too," said Remus standing up. He grabbed two badges sitting on one of the end tables and chucked one at James. James caught it in a fluid movement and pinned it to his shirt as Sirius stared at the two in disgust. Sirius hated prefects, and especially the Head Boy, ever since he had come to Hogwarts. This was the result from an incident in first year that had resulted in Sirius having a set curfew for the rest of his Hogwarts career. It really bothered him that his friends were now the ones to enforce this rule. "Go to bed, Sirius," Remus confirmed his friend's nighttime routine.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius muttered turning out the lights in the dorm. "Hey, Pete," Sirius asked drowsily, "where do you think Frank is?" Frank Longbottom was the Marauders unfortunate dorm mate, who spent as little time as possible in the dorm to avoid being caught up in one of the Marauder's schemes.

"I dunno," Peter yawned turning to talk to Sirius. "Maybe he was hungry?"

"Sure, Pete, sure," Sirius grumbled. He really needed to get McGonagall to lift the curfew thing. The first years were still up and he was the only one forced to go to bed.

OoO

Lily really had disliked patrolling at the beginning of the year for one reason: she had to patrol with James. However, since they were now on more friendly terms, it was not too bad, but really awkward. Neither of them really knew what to say. Tonight, their discussion was about this Voldemort person the wizarding news was raging about.

"My dad thinks the Ministry isn't paying enough attention to this 'Crazy-V-Guy' to put it in his words. I told him just to say Voldemort, but he says the name is too hard to say. My mom told us just to say 'You-Know-Who' but I still get all confused about it because my dad still calls him Crazy-V-Guy," ranted James.

Lily laughed a bit at the last part. Mr. Potter certainly did have the strangest phrases in all of Wizarding England. "I agree. Just look at the headlines today and you can see that he is not someone to mess around with. He only destroyed an entire bus and all the people inside it."

"I bet he's not as scary as he seems. If I ever had the chance I'd tell him a thing or two," James retorted.

"I don't know about that, James," he looked shocked and angry so she quickly added, "I'm not saying I'd join him or anything," he nodded.

"Me neither," Just then, a bald, white-faced man, who did not have a nose, or rather slits for them, and red eyes like cats came running down the hallway towards them. He looked frantic and almost like he was trying to hide from someone. Then the students heard hurrying footsteps from the way he had come. The man dived and hid behind Lily.

"Quick! Hide me, minions!" James and Lily were stunned and whirled around to face him.

"What?" James asked, while Lily questioned, "Who are you?" The man drew himself up tall and said with dignity,

"I am the Dark Lord," James scratched his head, puzzled.

"Who?" The man, or Dark Lord as he had called himself, glared.

"The Dark Lord Voldemort, of course!" Lily looked shocked, but either James was unafraid or he wasn't showing it too much.

"Well, we aren't going to hide you," Lily nodded, and Voldemort scoffed.

"What are you? Chicken-Minions?" he placed his hands in his armpits and, flapping his arms up and down, he walked in a circle around the pair a couple times. When he had finished, Lily retorted, while pointing to the shiny badge pinned to her robes,

"No, but we are Head Boy and Girl." Voldemort cursed under his breath.

"So you're Do-Gooder-Chicken-Minions. Well, I'll give you a choice: Hide me, or suffer." James and Lily looked at each other and found that each seemed to know what the other's answer was going to be.

"Never," The Dark Lord raised his wand, ready with, most likely, the killing curse, but then was interrupted as a voice floated down the hallway.

"Tom? Now where did he get off to…?" It was Professor Dumbledore. Voldemort's eyes widened in fear and he continued fleeing down the hallway, but stopped at the end of the corridor.

"I'll give you one more chance, Do-Gooder-Chicken-Minions," he spat, and then turned the corner; he was gone. Dumbledore seemed to think that Voldemort had gone the other way, because the Head Boy and Girl heard his footsteps and voice fade. They turned to look at each other, both bewildered and asked the same question.

"What the bloody hell just happened?"