Suck it Power
By the 6ft dick
One day in Ocean Shores, Otto and his loser friends were shredding the shit out of the skate park. Sam tried to do a grind, but fell off and landed straight on a 10 ft spike randomly placed in the skate park. "Oh shit," said Reggie. "We gotta get Sam some help; he landed right on his big gaping vagina." They ran into Conroy's trailer and were horrified at what they saw: Conroy was butt naked and smoking a joint. "Conroy, what the fuck are you doing," exclaimed Otto. "Aye man I'm uh, uh meditating," said Conroy. "Well it doesn't matter," said Reggie, "Sam's hurt and needs medical assistance." "What's a matter with that pussy now," asked Conroy. "He fell on a 10 ft spike in the middle of the skate park." "Holy fuck," yelled Conroy. "What part of the body did he land on?" "He landed right smack dab on his vagina." "Sweet merciful Jesus," yelled Conroy, "he needs help quick." They ran out and asked Conroy what the big deal was. "You see man," said Conroy, "this is no ordinary spike. Every night when I go into meditation mode, I go right over to that spot and masturbate. That spike is completely made of semen." Sam's stomach soon began to grow fuckin huge. "Guys," yelled Sam, "what the shit is going on?" "There's no saving him now," said Conroy. "He's fucked." Sam's stomach then exploded and miniature Sam/Conroy's popped out. Conroy then pulled out a shot gun and killed all the little mutants. "I can't be paying for child support, man." Then Otto, Twister, and Reggie just walked away.
Back at the Shore Shack, the kids were eating burgers when Ray walked down from Tito's apartment looking rather beat up and had a cigarette in his mouth. "What in God's name happened to you," asked Reggie. "Uh, me and Tito had a fight and then he licked my ass." "Excuse me," said Reggie, "but did you say he licked your ass?" "No you dumb fuck. I said he kicked my ass." Ray walked over to the freezer, got out a tub of ice cream and sat on it. Immediately, a huge burst of steam came out. Ray then got up and the kids saw what looked like blood on the ice cream. "Dad, did get butt fucked or something?" Otto asked. Suddenly, Ray slugged Otto in the face. "Don't ever make assumptions, Otto. When you assume, you make an ass out of you and my ass." "What," said Otto. "Nothing. Now I gotta make up with Tito. I want you all to stay down here no matter what. Even if you think you hear me and Tito having sex, which we aren't. Okay guys?" "Uh, yeah," they said. Ray went back up to Tito's room. Sure enough it sounded like they were monkeys in heat. Suddenly, police sirens were heard outside and Tito's apartment went quiet. Officer Shirley walked in to the Shore Shack with her gun drawn. "Have you kids seen Ray? He's under arrest for selling a certain Jamaican some marijuana," she said. They pointed upstairs. Shirley walked upstairs and kicked down his door. Her jaw dropped seeing Tito was wearing a cowboy hat and gun holsters while Ray had Indian feathers. "Uh we were just playing Cowboys and Indians: The Erotic Version," said Tito. Ray said, "The plot is the Indian is signing the treaty and my dick is the pen and the treaty is his ass." Shirley then shot Tito to death. "I saw his weapon," she said. "I know it wasn't very big, but it was a weapon nonetheless." She got out her handcuffs and Ray asked, "What are the charges, baby?" She said, "I'm arresting you for possessing a very large cock." The two then left the Shore Shack to go "downtown".
Later, the gang decided to go surfing. Otto and Twister were wearing pink floral two pieces while Reggie wore a speedo showing off her nonexistent tits. "Hey, are those your friends Trish and Sherry over there," asked Twister. Trish and Sherry were on a towel rubbing lotion on each other and French kissing. When Reggie saw this the front of her speedo became abnormally large. She tucked her boner between her legs so no one would see it and make fun of her. While they were surfing they saw Lars and his boyfriends surfing. Suddenly a great white shark jumped out of the ocean and ate them. Back on the beach, they heard a loud scream and ran to investigate. It was coming from the lifeguard station and when they got there they saw something horrifying: Mackenzie was giving it fast and hard to Lt. Ryan. Lt. Ryan screamed so loud in pleasure that his head blew up and he died. Mackenzie then pulled out and gave back the dead lifeguard his strap on.
After watching this very entertaining beach side performance, the gang headed back to the Rocket house. They were bored and decided to go rob the Stimpletons. When they got there, they saw Mr. Stimpleton in his room putting on lipstick and calling himself a sexy bitch. They took pictures and ran downtown to post them. While they were crossing the street, a cop car ran them over and killed them.
After the kids were run over, Ray popped up with a chocolate milk moustache and exclaimed, "What the fuck was that?" Officer Shirley told him, "Nothing. No get back to work."