A/N-Well, this is my second new story and my very first Twilight story. I hope I can give the story and its creator justice, but probably not. But this was inspired by My-Bella's story Sin City Sinners and if you haven't read that, I strongly encourage you to do so as well as all her other stories. So this is a funny Emmett story. I really love him because he's so much like me, always trying to make people laugh and smile, so his POV will be surprisingly easy for me. This takes place right after Eclipse and these are his thought about Bella becoming a part of the family, Edward's noticeable change, and well all thoughts Emmett. I hope you all like this as much as I'm gonna enjoy writing it!
Disclaimer-Yeah I don't own any of this, except for some of the crazy ways Emmett's mind works. It all belongs to the fabulous Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter 1: Angering Edward
"Aw, Bella, come on! That face was priceless! Please let me take a picture of you?" I was pleading with her. I really wanted the picture. Bella was truly the most amusing human I had ever met, what with the way she's so unbelievably clumsy and the way she turns as red as tomato soup when embarrassed, kinda like the way she's looking right now. Bella had walked in and I had immediately bombarded her with the question I knew would have her blushing that famous tomato soup color I loved so much.
"So," I asked casually, "did you and my brother get lucky?" As soon as the words left my mouth, she was blushing so bright I thought she was gonna explode. Well, someone did explode, but it wasn't Bella. It was my too-tense brother, Edward.
"Emmett," he growled. I could see he was getting pissed, but I really couldn't tell why. Unless…
"What, you didn't get any, little brother?" I raised my eyebrows at him, questioning him further. I barely had time to flinch before Edward was a blur on top of me. He flipped me over with vampire speed and was sitting on my back and had my face shoved into the ground.
"Ow! Eddie come on, get off me!" I tried moving, but Edward had the advantage by being on top of me. There was only one person I wanted on top of me and she was much prettier than my brother and a lot more skilled in bed.
"Emmett!" Edward roared, like a lion in the jungle. I often forget that handy little talent of his, the ability to read minds.
"Sorry, Ed," I mumbled from my position on the ground. Edward wasn't pleased and only pressed down harder on top of me.
"Ow! Will you please get the hell off me! Your bony butt is killing my back!" Bella sniggered at that. I knew I'd get a smile out of her. She's not hard to amuse, probably because she's human and hadn't been around my humor long enough to get annoyed with me. She looked at me with amused eyes and then turned to Edward. Her expression changed to one of anger.
"Edward, get off of him, now." Damn, she was scary when she was pissed! Lucky I'm not the one who has to deal with her. Edward did as he was told, much like a little boy who just got in trouble at school and was forced to go sit in the corner. Ha ha! I thought to him. You're gonna get it now! He was not too happy about that thought, but turned around with a small smirk on his face anyway.
"Don't worry. I'm not the only one who's getting scolded," and with that, he turned his evil smirking face and followed Bella out of the house. My smile of triumph soon turned to a frown of horror as Ed's words sank in. Rose is gonna kill me! I thought. Now, no one's seem my Rose angry like I have, probably because I'm usually the one to anger her. This is not going to be pleasant. I turned to face her, acting innocent.
"Hey, Rosebud, you look splendid this afternoon," I tried. It so obviously did not work by that look in her eyes. Oh how I hated that with a passion, but I hated the Angry Voice that I knew was sure to come even more.
"Emmett James Cullen do not try to flatter me! You get your ass upstairs, now!" Oh yeah, there was that angry voice that I loved so much. It didn't help much that the rest of the family was all there, staring at me with amusement. Alice was by the kitchen door, trying unsuccessfully to hold her smirk back while Jasper stood beside her and smiled gently. Carlisle and Esme were standing a little off, looking at me a little worriedly. I could also see the disapproval of Rose's choice of the word ass leaking of Esme like gasoline. Oh, there was definitely gonna be a fire tonight. As I made my way towards the stairs, I shot my brother a pleading look. He must have understood my message because he shook his head sadly. I couldn't tell if he was sad at all or just a little too amused but I didn't have time to ponder it any longer because Rose was practically dragging me up the stairs, at vampire speed! Man, this was gonna hurt in the morning. Rose reached our room and opened, well more like shoved the door with me inside before crossing her arms around her chest and glaring at me with little slits that had become her eyes. Man, I really hated when she looked at me like that. I knew I was gonna be in for a long night of groveling.
"Rosie," I began to explain, but she cut me off.
"Don't you dare call me Rosie at a tine like this!"
"Ok, right, sorry. Rose," I received an evil glare. I guess her name will have to do. "Rosalie," I tried. She seemed to ease up the slightest bit so I continued on. "Rosalie, will you please explain to me why you're upset? In case you didn't notice, I was the one on the bottom of the dog pile, not the other way around." That seemed to bring her to life. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth gaped open and she unlocked her arms from around her chest while leaning forward.
"And whose fault was that, Emmett? Huh? You were the one asking about their sex lives in front of the whole family!"
"I was just innocently curious!" She scoffed at me and began to pace. I still don't know what to think about pacing yet. Sometimes the outcomes are good and other times, they're not so good. I was guessing that I should just wait and see how the conversation played out.
"Oh right, you were "innocently" curious." She scoffed again. That really did get annoying after a while.
"Ok, so maybe I wanted to embarrass Bella a little bit, but that's all that was! I didn't know Edward was gonna go all Ike Turner and lash out at me!"
"But didn't you? You know that Edward's the worst with his temper, yet you provoked him anyway!"
"Ok, so I may have wanted him to get a little upset but I still didn't want the WWE smack down!"
"Oh, you're…impossible!" I could tell she was getting really irked with me. I knew I had to stop trying to explain and start trying to work on the Emmett Charm.
"Rose," I said, coming up to face her and hold her out in front of me. She looked at me with a small glare but I could tell her resolve was already fading. Easier than I thought I chucked inside my head.
"I know what I did was stupid, but that's just me. You know that. I was teasing Bella as a way of saying I love her. That's how I show affection."
"I know but honestly! Don't you think the poor girl had enough to worry about without you trying to embarrass her to death?"
"I know, I just wanted to ease some of that tension, you know? I just wanted her to crack a smile, even if it was just for a minute." I could tell Rose was losing some of her stamina. Damn, I'm good! I thought to myself quickly.
"Oh, Emmie, I know that that's how you are! That's why you're so loveable!" Loveable, eh?
"Oh, I'm loveable now?" I said while raising one eyebrow.
"Don't push your luck with me; I'm still mad at you."
"But not as much as before?" I sounded like a little kid who was hoping against hope that he didn't get spanked. God, I am pathetic.
"No, not as mad as before," she sighed, slumping her shoulders and relaxing into me in the process. I've always loved the feel of my Rose against me. There really is no better feeling in the world. Well, that and doing karaoke, but that's a different story entirely. Rose sighed again and looked at me, her golden eyes so full of admiration and love. She lifted herself up with her tiptoes and brought her lips to mine gently. God, how I loved it when she kissed me that way! She always showed how much she loved me with one of her gentle kisses. After about thirty seconds or so, she pulled away and replaced that loving look in her eyes with a look of seething anger. Oh, crap.
"Emmett Cullen, do not think that that was a get-out-of-jail-free card. You're still on my list and you get to sleep on the couch tonight." She smirked at me when the words and actions sunk in. She truly is an evil vampire, manipulating me with her eyes and tender kisses only to whip the rug from right under my feet. She walked away painfully slow, making sure her hips swayed wide enough to torture me. She closed the door to the bathroom and I made my way to the couch, obviously defeated for the day. Now Rose doesn't sleep; none of do because we're vampires and such but Rose likes to pretend she does sleep, seeing ad how she misses her human life the most. She'll lay in bed all night, eyes closed and breathe evenly but she'll only be thinking, thinking about whatever it is that troubles her. She told me once that "sleeping" is what calms her down the most; she has time to think about all things for an extended amount of time, so I know it's wise to let her be when she sleeps because there is nothing more irritable than a cranky Rose who hasn't gotten to think much. So as she comes out of the bathroom and murmurs a good night to me-obviously still pissed at me-I begin to think as well. Not about anything in particular, mind you but about things that are coming up. Things like Edward and Bella's wedding and then her changing. I really do like Bella and I really think I'm the only one truly excited about her changing, well maybe besides Alice. I'll have to make sure Bella understands that she's already welcome into the family, well at least by me…
A/N-So how was it? Good, bad, horrid? Be honest because I'm actually really nervous about posting this story. I really want to know your feedback so review! But please no straight out bashing. Constructive criticism please, but no bashing. Thank you!