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Caged Up - Light's Out

Sit and wait. That's all I can do now. Sit and wait. I'm losing track of time, I can't remember how long I've been here. All I know is that it's too long, I can feel myself get rustier by the second, pretty soon I won't even remember how to throw a punch. Damn, why did I have to think about that, all it does is remind me that I can barely feel my hands in this thing. Looking down at this metal restraint locked around my forearms, wrapped in padding, it makes me think it's some kind of inside-out coffin. Soft on the outside, steel on the inside and all it does is keep something inside they all wish would die, just like they wish I would just die. But I'm not dead, no matter how much they wish I was, I'm not dead. I can see it in their eyes when they pass my cell; the hate, the fear, they don't even hide it anymore. God, I'd kill for a manicure.

Sitting on this thing they're trying to pass off as a bed, I can hear it again. Sounds like it's two stories up, another inmate screaming. Pigs, filthy pigs. They call me the evil villain but I wonder how many of those self-righteous bastards turn a blind eye to what they do to us here. I'm scratching the inside of my restraint the more I hear it. Her screams, it's horrible, and those pigs are laughing. Stay strong Shego, don't lose it, don't show that you care. You show weakness, they'll start thinking about using you for sloppy seconds. The screaming stops. It's faint but I can hear her crying as the door clank shut. Pigs, filthy pigs.

I wonder who it was. I know Camille would scream and cry, she never was a tough girl. Not Lynn though, she's been here long enough so she's either too tough to scream like that or too used to it to cry afterward. Maybe she's not even one of us, maybe she's just some poor kid who had one hell of a bad day and found herself in lock up before she knew it. Probably some young, pretty girl with hopes of a family, or a good career, or at least not being gang raped by fat, sweaty prison guards.

Damn it! I can feel the tears forming. Why do I care what happens to some new fish? Because I'm still human, even with the green skin, that's why. One good thing about these restraints, I can swab the tears off pretty easy with the padding. Common Shego, stay strong or you're next. Oh hell, if they even try it, they'll regret it. I might be tied down and outnumbered, but I'm vicious, I don't go down without a fight. I can hear foot steps. I drop my arms and look like I've just been sitting here, just waiting, like a hungry animal looking for the kill. They get closer and then farther, I guess they're leaving already. Lights turn off, time to sleep. "Sweet dreams fish, you'll need them."

I lay down on my side, facing the door to my cell. I'm not taking any chances, these pigs love catching us in our sleep almost as much as forcing us down awake. I try to calm down, try counting sheep or whatever it is you're suppose to do to help you sleep. I try doing that, until I can hear it. Footsteps, shallow, soft. It's one guard, sneaking on tip toe like a drunken ballerina. He goes to my cell and looks inside. He looked confident, a smug smile on his face thinking he was being smart. But then he see's the hate in my eyes, he's not so confident anymore. Go on, come in here, it's just a restrained inmate, what can go wrong? Worm loses his nerve and walks off. I recognize him, not right off but a few seconds after he leaves. The checkpoint guard, the guy who sits in that tiny, bulletproof glass room who opens and closes the gates coming in here. Next time I might not be so lucky, next time it might be a real guard. Next time I might be real unlucky and it'll be all the guards.

I finally get to sleep. Dream time now, no more reality. Forget the restraint, forget the guards, forget the rape and the fear and the misery of this hell hole. Just dream, dream that sweet dream of beating Kimmie. Dream that sweet dream of lounging own your own island, being hand feed peeled grapes by a cute native. Dream that sweet dream of being the most powerful woman this world's ever seen. Dream, because reality is sucking pretty bad right about now.