Chapter One: Apenapped
Donkey Kong relaxed in his beach chair now that everyone had finally buzzed off. A few weeks ago he and Diddy had recaptured the banana hoard from King K. Rool's clutches, and ever since they returned everyone on DK isle had wanted to talk to him. The worst of them was his grandfather Cranky, who was continuously bragging to DK about "his days", and how hard and dangerous hís adventures had been compared to DK's. Funky had decided DK was a "totally gnarly dude" and wanted to surf with him all day long. Swanky had tried to con DK into participating into one of his rigged games a lot. Of course DK loved the extra attention, especially from Candy, but enough was enough and now he wanted some time of his own.
Fortunately, Diddy had stopped following him around wherever he went. Perhaps he was angry with DK, as Donkey had claimed to everyone Diddy had been knocked out during the first minute of their fight with King K. Rool, and that DK had finished the crocodile in a long battle, while in reality, it had been DK who was knocked out during the first minute of their fight with the crocodile, and Diddy who had finished him, though DK couldn't understand how such a small monkey like Diddy could've beaten a strong, fat crocodile like K. Rool. DK felt kind of bad about treating his little buddy like that and figured he should try to make it up to him. Or, he thought, maybe Diddy stopped following him around because of that new girl on the island he'd made friends with, Dizzy or Trixie or something was her name. He'd seen Diddy hanging out with her a lot lately. Whatever the reason, DK was glad to be able to relax now. He closed his eyes. Just before falling asleep, he felt a cloud block the sun. It will blow away soon... It won't bother me... he thought drowsily. He was wrong.
DK woke up by eight strong, scaly hands that grabbed him. He opened his eyes and started struggling, but the Kremlings had already tied him up. He was pulled up, towards the cloud, which turned out to be a large plane shaped like a crocodile. The plane's hangar was open, and he was pulled in. He hang on his ropes from the ceiling in the murky hangar. Before him stood his archenemy, K. Rool, wearing a pirate hat and a long red coat.
"Har-har-har-har-harr!", K. Rool laughed, "you will never see your friends or DK Island again!"
A Kremling injected DK with something and he fell asleep again.
DK woke up in a large cave, surrounded by Kremlings. It was mostly dark, but a few Kremlings carried torches. K. Rool was shouting at one of them. "I didn't tell you to give him THAT much sleeping potion, you moron! I want him awake NOW, or I'm kutting your head off right here!"
The kremling's green skin turned white as he passed out with fear.
Another kremling shouted: "Look, Kap'n, he's awake!"
A twisted smile appeared on K. Rool's face. "Ah, my friend, how nice of you to join us."
DK groaned. "Let me go you stupid crock!"
K. Rool's smile broadened. "I don't be thinkin' so. First, you're going to help me enter the Krockodile Kore. Read the tekst on the wall here."
Donkey could see letters on the wall, but since he couldn't read he had no clue what it said.
The crocodile laughed. "You kan't even read kan you? Well, I'll-"
A Kremling interrupted him. "We kan't read either, Kaptain!"
K. Rool stopped smiling. "That's bekause you're a bunch of useless morons. Now shut up, so I kan read it to our guest." he scraped his throat.
"Behind these doors a power lays,
a power that kan be used in many ways.
Many lands kan be konkwered with it,
anything it's kontroller sees fit.
But to open the doors, a hero has to bleed,
a hero who helps anyone in their time of need,
a hero, free from any greed.
Of all monkeys the most klever,
One smarter was born never.
For each drop of his blood that is spilled in this room,
One millimetre will open of these doors that guard the chamber of doom."
The crocodile paused. "I figure ye be the hero this thing speaks of. To open the doors, lots of your blood'll need to flow. And then, I kan konkwer the world!" He laughed. "So, my friend. We're going to chop you into little pieces and then-"
He was interrupted by a kremling. "Kaptain! I don't think it's a very good poem, sir!"
K. Rool turned to him. "What the- what do you mean, Krittik?"
"Well, it doesn't have any rhythm, it's konstantly two words rhyming and then suddenly three, the sentences all have different numbers of syllabels, and "One smarter was born never" isn't grammatikally korrekt!"
"Ye be right," K. Rool said, "it looks like the guy who wrote this was some- wait, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY!" He shouted. "Now shut yer trap! Where was I... Oh yeah," he turned back to DK, "So, Kong, I'm going to kut off the ends of your fingers. Then I'll kut your toes off, then the rest of your fingers, your arms, your legs, until what's left is some kind of goulash!" He laughed again, very loud this time, while DK's left hand was grabbed by crocodiles. He tried to struggle free, but together they were a lot stronger than him on his own.
K. Rool drew his knife. "Let's start with the tip of your little finger..."
DK covered his eyes with his right hand. He didn't fully understand why, but it was obvious K. Rool was going to hurt him... Then, he felt a burning pain in his left hand's little finger, shortly followed by a tremendous roar of fury. "What the hell?" K. Rool screamed, "Nothing happened! The doors should be opening a few centimetres now!" He punched DK in the face. "Looks like you're not our hero... Hmpf, I don't know why I even thought it would be you. I'll bet you just stole the banana hoard from me through dumb luck. Who kould this hero be..."
Despite the pain in his hand and face, DK laughed at the crocodile's failed plan. "Perhaps you should ask Cranky! That stuff on the wall sounds like he wrote it about himself!"
K. Rool punched DK again. Then a smile suddenly came to his evil face. "Hmmm... I've got a very kunning plan..."
Diddy ran to the beach as fast as he could, followed shortly by his friend Dixie. The alarm sounding could only mean something terrible had happened... The only time it had sounded before was when the banana hoard had been stolen, and he and DK had plunged themselves into a great adventure, of which they had fortunately returned triumphant. Well, he added sourly, apparently only DK had returned triumphant, as no one seemed to remember Diddy had been along on the adventure as well. Everyone wanted to hear DK's stories, talk to DK. DK had even lied and told them all that he had been the one who had defeated K. Rool in the end. Diddy had been more or less ignored by the other Kongs during their 'victory party'. He had walked away from it, disgusted and jealous at DK, until he was stopped by a voice behind him.
"You're Diddy Kong aren't you?" the voice had asked. He didn't recognize it, but it was a lovely voice.
"I'm surprised you even know my name." had been his cynical answer as he turned around. The voice's owner turned out to be a girl with a long, blonde ponytail, a pink baret and a pink shirt. She looked startled. "I'm sorry if I bothered you. I'll just leave."
Diddy regretted his rudeness. "No, I'm sorry. Please stay, err..."
"Dixie's my name. You seem upset, what's wrong?"
"It's just that everyone seems to think DK was all alone on his adventure, and only listens to his stories. No one even wanted to hear me tell it."
"Well, tell me about your adventure then. I'll listen to you."
"What, the whole adventure?"
"Yeah, I didn't hear it from Donkey yet, so you tell me."
"Well, it's kind of a long story..."
"It's still early in the evening, so we've got time. We can walk on the beach if you like while you tell." She said with an encouraging smile.
So they walked on the beach while Diddy told Dixie the whole adventure, from the theft of the banana hoard until the battle versus K. Rool. When he had finished, night had fallen and the sky was littered by stars.
"So you actually defeated K. Rool and saved DK's life? No wonder you were upset." Dixie said.
"Yes, I did, but I feel a lot better now that I've had a chance to tell it all to someone. Besides, I suppose DK did most of the work on the adventure." Diddy said modestly.
"But still, it's absolutely unfair!"
"I know, I walked away angrily from the 'victory party', remember? But it feels a lot better now that you've listened to me."
Dixie smiled. "Hey, that's what friends do."
Diddy liked the idea of being friends with Dixie. He gave her an affirmative smile. "By the way, how long have you lived on DK island? I've never seen you before."
"My sister Tiny and I moved to this island while you where on your quest."
"But where did you come from?"
That question seemed to make her sad. "Oh, just some island." She answered sadly. Diddy decided not to pursue the matter as she was obviously uncomfortable talking about it.
"I wonder what the alarm is all about?" Dixie said, returning him to the present.
"So do I," he answered, "last time it sounded, the banana hoard had been stolen, but since we just walked past the hoard, something else must've happened.
As they ran onto the beach, they saw Wrinkly, Cranky and Funky discussing something.
"What happened?" Diddy asked.
"Read this, dearie." Wrinkly Kong said with tears in her eyes, handing him a note.
I have kidnapped that lumbering fool Donkey Kong and you will never see him again!
Kaptain K. Rool.
"That poor boy..." Wrinkly said.
"Pah!" Cranky sneered, "That lazy, good-for-nothing idiot! No-one ever kidnapped me in my days!"
"Yes they did!" Wrinkly replied, "And our son had to free you from him! You deserved it too, as you had kidnapped that guy's girlfriend and thrown barrels at him."
Cranky wanted to say something back, but he was interrupted by Diddy. "This discussion is useless! I'm going after K. Rool to save DK!"
"What, a young wippersnapper like you?" Cranky said, "you're even worse then that stupid grandson of mine!"
"I will try anyway!" Diddy persisted.
"I dunno Diddy-dude." Funky said, "That K-dude is seriously uncool. It'll be dangerous going all alone."
"He won't be going alone, I'm going with him." Dixie said.
"Are you sure? It will be pretty dangerous, you know." Diddy said.
"It'll be even more dangerous going all alone." she said.
"An adventure isn't like a vacation, Dixie. And you barely even know DK."
"I'm not going on the adventure to save DK." She said defiantly. "I'm going to help you. You're my best friend, I'm not letting you plunge yourself in danger alone."
Diddy felt rather moved by this, and struggled to find something to say. Eventually he settled on: "All right, you can come. Funky, could you fly us to the Gangplank Galleon?"
"Could we wait a few more minutes?" Dixie asked, "There is something I'll definitely need on our adventure." And she ran off.