Off the Script

This is my attempt at another oneshot, and I must say it is pitiful. An AtoRyo, kind of, but not really. This is in celebration of the FF forum 'POT stands for Pointless but Original Talking!' reaching its 10 000th post. (Which incidentally, was about Royal. xD)

x Off the Script x Dedicated to the people at the forum

There was a group of male teenagers sitting aimlessly around a long table that would have done a great hall proud. Though some seemed a bit worried, and others annoyed, most were just bored, as they should've been. Being holed up in some huge dining room (without any tennis equipment) on such a lovely day was nobody's idea of fun.

'Can I go home yet?' one dull voice asked tiredly. Its owner sat with his cap askew on his head, his olive-green hair messy.

'What, my home not good enough for you, brat?' a haughty-looking boy replied sharply, glaring. 'Ore-sama's mansion is much better than that building you call a house.'

Ryoma muttered, 'Only 'cause the authoress furnished the room with a portrait of your big fat face.' Indeed, Atobe Keigo's visage was on the farthest wall. 'Stupid fanfiction writers.'

Fuji laughed. 'I quite like them, actually. I mean, I get away with so much more in fanfiction than in canon, you know?' There was something malicious in Fuji's smile; the others at the table edged their chairs away.

'I know,' Atobe grumbled in reply. 'In one of those oneshot things, you chloroformed me, which is completely illegal and not even possible in real life.' Atobe got up from his chair, and opened a window to let some fresh air into the room (and to get farther away from Fuji).

'Who knows,' Fuji responded lightly. 'I mean, we do have somebody who glows regularly while playing sports in our midst.' Fuji nodded at Tezuka, who was frowning.

It seemed that Tezuka had a complaint of his own. 'I'm always the one who gets mocked.' Tezuka's frown looked slightly pained. 'So what if I don't smile as much as other people do?'

Another boy popped out of nowhere into a previously empty chair at the table. 'At least you didn't lose your memory,' he said, irritated.

Atobe raised an eyebrow. 'Where did you come from, Mukahi?'

'A plot hole,' Gakuto replied, rolling his eyes. 'There are so many of them.' He saw the eyes of everybody at the table light up. 'It's gone now,' Gakuto informed them, and the others slumped.

One of the others at the table spoke. 'At least you aren't paired up with an idiot like him,' he said, nodding at a boy with a cap on. 'I don't even know him.'

'I'm not an idiot, Niou!' Shishido answered furiously.

Niou just nodded, smirking. 'Whatever you say.' Shishido held his head in his hands, wanting to let out a frustrated scream.

'I'm the one who's always forgotten,' a mushroom-haired boy said crossly. 'I'm just the alternate.'

Fuji turned to Tezuka. 'Who is he?'

Tezuka looked at the teenage boy. 'I don't know.'

The boy in question then turned to Ryoma in despair. 'I played you! Don't you remember me?'

Ryoma pondered for a minute. Then two. Then five. The boy waited eagerly. Finally...

'You're the one with the annoying catchphrase!'

Hiyoshi Wakashi sulked in a corner.

'None of you have got it as bad as me,' Ryoma said matter-of-factly, standing up in the way one would before a speech. 'I've had CFS, paraplegia, amnesia, angst attacks... I've been forced to eat Atobe's cooking-' here Atobe squawked '-been in a car accident, been forced to dress up as a maid, been Fuji's victim countless times-' and everybody (sans Fuji) shuddered, even Hiyoshi sulking in the corner '-been mpreg'd, which is not yet possible with today's technology, and worst of all...'

Ryoma paused for dramatic effect. 'I've been forced to date that insufferable prat,' he finally said, pointing at Atobe accusingly.

Atobe spluttered, walking over to where Ryoma stood. 'A prat? Why you-'

Divine intervention was the only thing that stopped Atobe from swearing and forcing this fan fiction's rating up for coarse language. Divine intervention in the name of Fuji.

'Now, now,' Fuji said soothingly, a mischievous smile on his face. 'Why don't the two of you just kiss and make up?'

'What?' the two mentioned said simultaneously, glaring daggers at Fuji.

'We're not going to kiss just because you said so,' Atobe said dangerously.

Fuji continued to smile. 'It'd be good entertainment, don't you think?'

'Fuji-senpai,' Ryoma said rudely, 'you can take your opinion and stick it up your-'

'Echizen,' Tezuka said sternly. Ryoma immediately closed his mouth.

Atobe said quietly, his face close to Ryoma's, with a smirk on his face, 'A buchou's boy, are you?'

Ryoma flushed slightly pink.

'You know what?' Fuji said. 'Maybe I am.'

Ryoma turned to stare at Fuji, as did everyone else in the room. 'What?'

Fuji took out a long sheet of paper. 'That was on the script. You were supposed to say that, Ryoma-chan, and then you and Atobe were supposed to make out in the corner that the other guy isn't in.'

Hiyoshi felt that it was a shame that nobody seemed to know his name.

However, Ryoma's mind was on much more pressing matters. He gaped. Quite openly. 'What the hell?'

'...That wasn't on the script, Ryoma-chan.' Fuji's smile couldn't get any wider even if he was the Cheshire cat.

'Who gave you the fucking script, Fuji-senpai?' (It seemed that this fanfic was doomed to be rated for language from the start.)

Fuji laughed. 'I was entrusted it by the authoress, of course. And if you don't kiss and make up, it seems we won't be let out of here.'

All eyes in the room glanced to the locked door that they had all come in through earlier (with the exception of Plot-Hole-Gakuto).

'So what will it be, Atobe? Echizen?' Fuji's eyes were wide open, glinting a dangerous blue. 'If you don't do this willingly...' Fuji left the sentence unfinished, the threat obvious.

'I don't think you should force them to do this, Fuji-san, it wouldn't be very considerate, you see, because people don't like being forced into doing things, and it's not nice to do things to people that they won't like, and if you really wanted to get out in the first place, we could have just gone out that open window, though it probably wouldn't be comfortable. Open windows are hazardous, because things fly in through windows-'

'Wait,' Shishido said. 'Could you backtrack to what you said a few seconds ago?'

Atobe looked thoughtful. 'I opened that window.'

He turned to look at the window, which was indeed wide open.

'Well, what are we waiting for?' Fuji said cheerfully. 'No point in staying holed up in this infernal room if we don't have to!'

'This room is not infernal!'

But one by one, the tennis boys got out of the room until only Atobe and Ryoma were left.

'Well, Keigo, if we're not going to kiss just because Fuji-senpai asked, how about if I asked?'

There were two identical smirks in the room as Atobe closed the window and made sure it was locked.

x owari

Reviews would be much appreciated; especially reviews that would give me some feedback on a) how badly I did XD and b) how I could improve. Hermes, that was a lame oneshot. But congrats to the forum-goers, and it'd be lovely if you went! This is shameless advertising, 'specially if you're a Royal fan. xD -awinchan