Summary: We all know Matsuda is a bit slow, even childish, perhaps. We love him all the more for it! But sometimes his playful innocence leads to embarrassing situations. NO PAIRINGS, only crack and cute Matsu fluff. :3
Author's Notes: This takes place during the time when L and Light were handcuffed. Also, when an entire sentence is italicized, it is someone's thoughts. When it is in regular, it is someone speaking. Hope you like it!
Matsuda frowned at the ground as he walked along the sidewalk, lost in thought. "Why does L always pick me to do these stupid errands instead of important stuff? It's not like Light or Mogi couldn't go grocery shopping just as well..." He slowed his walk to angrily kick an empty soda can off the sidewalk, "He didn't even let me borrow his car for the shopping!" The young police officer yelled at the darkening sky.
As if someone up there had heard his frustrated cry, thunder began to rumble throughout the dark clouds overhead. Now, it wasn't that Matsuda was afraid of thunderstorms, oh no! He was 25 for goodness sake... too adult for something that silly. But... lightning is dangerous, you know. "Perfectly mature and rational..." He reasoned in his mind as he sped up from his leisurely walk to a full blown sprint for his life.
Disregarding the funny stares and small giggles which occasionally erupted from the high school girls walking home on his route, he continued his mission: 'Get-to-the-grocery-store-NOW.' The tall officer wasn't a track star or anything, but he can be fast when he wants to be. His feet hit the pavement with a good deal of speed, but try as he might, it still happened... rain, and lots of it.
The sky began pouring down when he was only half way there. He slowed his sprint down as the rain soaked into his clothes; his long, dark bangs stuck to his wet forehead. "Oh..." He inwardly sighed with a dejected expression, "Why bother anymore?" The young officer hunched forward as he walked in the pouring rain toward the store. If anyone were still out in the storm, instead of taking shelter, they would have most likely compared his appearance to that of a kicked puppy... which was then drenched in water.
Several minutes later, he finally made it to his destination, the local grocery store. A few gave him odd, disapproving stares, as he walked into the store; dripping water and tracking mud onto the bright-white linoleum floor. He sheepishly-grinned before walking back to the entrance and wiping his muddy shoes on the matt.
"Ok!" The still-damp man mentally shouted, "No playing around. Get everything on the list and get out, in record time! Maybe L will finally start seeing my hard work... and give me a more meaningful job than this next time." He forced a big smile before taking out a piece of paper from his pocket. "..." Once unfolded it was clear what had happened to the paper in his wet pant pocket; all the ink had ran, leaving nothing more than a mess of blue ink smeared around.
Matsuda stared down at the ruined list, "...Three whole pages of very specific snacks for L... all gone." He sighed before tossing the paper into a trashcan, "If I miss even one thing that was on that list, I just know what's gonna happen..." "L will slowly turn his head to the side, staring at me with those huge black eyes; and calmly state quietly enough for everyone to hear... 'Matsuda. You have failed again at even the simplest task possible. Perhaps next time I should have your mother go along with you to hold your hand. I mean really, you fool... blah blah bla-'" He paused as he noticed people around the checkout area staring at him funny. The officer's face flushed and he quickly headed down an aisle as he realized he must have been doing his 'L imitation' out-loud again...
Luckily he just happened to choose the candy and cereal aisle to hide in. Brightly colored boxes and packages surrounded him on all sides; Trix, gumdrops, lollipops, sour gummies, it basically looked like L's pantry... but smaller. Matsuda beamed his trademark A.D.D smile and set off gathering items from memory.
About an hour and a half later, he had managed to fill two full-size baskets to the top. The clumsy officer wheeled the baskets into the check-out area, managing to drop only about 8 items as he went.
Working at the first booth was a pretty girl in her late teens, her dark brown hair was kept up in a tight ponytail, and she wore the store's kaki-pants and red-shirt uniform.
"Uhhh..." She stuttered as her gaze dropped to the massive amount of sugar-filled packages Matsuda was currently dumping onto the conveyor belt, "Cash or credit?"
"Cash please!" The raven haired man replied with a huge grin; he was very proud of himself for getting all of L's shopping done by memory. He fumbled around with his wallet for a few seconds before pulling out 4 one-hundred dollar bills, 3 quarters, and 12 pennies L had given him.
"This should be exactly what the groceries will cost. Matsuda! Are you paying attention?"
Matsuda nodded before putting on a fake smile, "I can handle it"
The young man sighed as he remembered, "How am I suppose to help with the Kira case if L won't even trust me with change?..."
Once the cashier had finally finished checking him out (after much grumbling from the long line forming behind him) she handed him the bags, along with a quarter.
"You gave me too much, sir."
"Oh... thanks." Matsuda mumbled before flashing a smile and taking his stuff out the door.
Once outside, he set the heavy bags on the sidewalk, and pocketed his precious change. "Ahh... This is going to take forever to haul back to headquarters." The tall officer groaned while stretching his back out.
"Huh..." He bent down to see something on the sidewalk, "Hey, a quarter! Lucky day!" He broke out in a large grin as he pocketed the quarter. He reached down to pick up his heavy groceries to get going, when he spotted something else.
"Hey, a quarter!"
...Fast forward two minutes. "Wait..." Matsuda carefully inspected the coin, "This is the same one as before, and the time before that, and..." He found the answer to his puzzling predicament after he stuck his hand into his pant pocket once again, a hole just big enough to stick two fingers out.
"Great." He sighed as he closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his long bangs, "Now what..."
Upon opening his eyes again they spotted something near the corner of the store-front, a small mechanical horse ride. The toy was painted medium brown with the horse's harness coated in red; it seemed to glimmer in the sunlight.
"Hmm." The young man rubbed his chin as he walked closer to inspect the shining ride, "Insert one quarter here..." He read off the metal pole in front.
A mental battle insued.
"No... that would be ridiculous!"
"But it's so shiny..."
"I'm an adult for goodness sake."
"Adults are boring! Besides, it's only a quarter anyway. I can't very well keep this quarter with that huge hole in my pocket, right?"
It was settled.
Matsuda looked back and forth, with no sign of anyone going in or out of the store anytime soon. He almost giggled with glee as the shiny coin slid into the slot with a satisfying 'clink!'.
The small speaker in the metal pole came alive with a happy little tune, and the ride began to move as he mounted it. The mechanical pony wasn't quite as small as it looked before, but he still had a bit of trouble keeping his long legs on the foot-bars.
Up, forward, and down it went, repeating this motion as the song continued plunking out of the tinny speaker. It made him happy; he wasn't quite sure why. Maybe it was because he'd never been allowed to ride one as a child, maybe because he had been feeling way too old lately, or maybe it was because he just used L's precious quarter that he wasn't even suppose to have.
"Take that, bitch." He beamed a giant smile as he rocked on.
Miles away, at headquarters, L sat at his computer with his feet drawn up.
"Still, L, I don't think even he would do tha-"
"He would." L cut Raito off as he stared blankly at the large computer screen, showing video from a security camera. Both men watched as someone came on screen, a tall man dressed in a police uniform, who then walked out the doors and proceeded to mount the toy-pony ride.
"..." The brunnette gaped at the screen. It was a slightly disturbing sight, watching as Matsuda rode that... thing.
L smirked before turning toward Raito, "It appears you lost the bet. I would like that hundred dollars in cash when you pay up." He turned back to the screen, still grinning deviously as he mumbled to himself, "Giving Matsuda that extra quarter was well worth it after all..."
Author's Notes: MATSU CRACK 8DDD. Well, I hope you liked it. Reviews are welcomed. n.n