Summary: This is just a little story of what happened when Roy gets his gloves wet and Edward just happens to be passing by.
Notes: Dated sometime after episode 13 of the anime, since it implies a rematch to the fight.
Pairings: None. If you try hard, you might be able to see some RoyEd, but it's not that much.
Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist or any of its characters. That includes Roy and Edward...sadly. Of course, if I did own them, they'd be chained in my garage (since I don't have a basement), and I'd be taking five million pictures of them. Not only that, but I'd also show them off like Hughes does with pictures of his daughter. So maybe it's better for the world if I don't own them. Heehee. That was a pretty long disclaimer.


Roy Mustang looked down at his soaking wet hands—or better yet, the soaking wet gloves on his hands. Shit, if someone were to attack right now, I'd be useless. Roy considered, wincing at the thought. Quickly, he took a look around him.

Approaching him from the direction he was headed was a boy with blonde hair and a red coat. Roy heaved a sigh. Surely, if Edward Elric saw that Roy was stupid enough to get his gloves wet, the boy would mock him. It wasn't entirely Roy's fault. He had been walking down the street—like he was perfectly entitled to do—and a car had hit a puddle and splashed him.

This cannot be happening, Roy thought, as the red coat got closer. He remained rooted to the spot. Maybe if he just pretended like he didn't see the goddamn cocky teenager, then Edward would just pass by and not see him either.

Roy began walking towards the direction he had originally been headed—right towards Edward.

Roy dropped his head, acting as if he was oblivious to his surroundings. He stuck his hands in his pockets, trying to forget his disastrous situation.

"Hey Colonel." Edward said briefly as he walked past. Roy tensed, but kept walking. Edward grew angry at this clear lack of respect. "Hey Colonel Bastard! You could at least greet me back!"

Roy stopped, and for a moment, Edward regretted his own lack of respect.

"Not now, FullMetal." Roy said simply. He couldn't deal with this teenager now. Not now, of all the times, could he deal with this teenager. He was defenseless, physically at least.

Edward felt his confusion and curiosity spring to life in one smooth move. He jogged up to the Roy so that he was side-by-side with the man.

"What's your problem?" He asked.

If I call him short, maybe it'll piss him off enough that he'll go away. Roy thought.

"Oh, it's just a small issue." Roy said, placing emphasis right where it was necessary.


"Yes, but not in quite so many words." Roy said and kept walking.

"At least when my gloves are wet, I'm not useless." Edward said. "As yours are now." Roy froze. He swore his heart stopped beating. How could FullMetal possibly know...? Edward clapped his hands and transmuted a blade on his automail arm. "Want a re-match, Colonel?"

Roy turned around and walked right up to the boy. His face was only a few inches away from Edward's.

"How the hell did you know that my gloves are wet?" Roy asked in a voice that implied he was trying to control his anger.

"That's simple. Your coat is soaked. If they were in that coat when it got soaked, then they would definitely be wet as well. If they weren't, well, they would still be wet due to exposure when your hands were in your pockets just a few seconds ago." Edward explained.

"Well, good for you, Mr. Prodigy, you now know how weak I am. Mock me. Come on, do your worse." Roy said, preparing himself for talk of how useless he was.

Instead, Edward clapped his hands and then took Roy's hands into his own. Instantly, Roy's gloves were dry.

Roy was confused, but he understood what happened. This kid is perfect! It's like he was made for me. He can clap his hands and make me useful again in the blink of an eye... Roy tried not to show all this on his face by masking it with a look of confusion.

Edward looked up at him with golden eyes, and said, "I don't believe in kicking a man when he's down. At least, not unless I'm the one who brought him down."

Edward dove into a squat and side-kicked Roy's legs, causing the older alchemist to fall over. Roy just barely missed re-wetting his gloves in a puddle.

"Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist, you are completely useless when you get your gloves wet." Edward said. He smirked at the older alchemist. "So don't get them wet, okay?"

Roy could have sworn he saw Edward wink before walking off. Of course, now he wasn't so sure the whole episode had ever happened.