Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of these characters. I just like to play with them.

"Eragon, can I come in?" Arya asked as she knocked on the chamber door.

"I am sleeping. Go away, feel free to try again at a later time." His voice came back in a stoic reply.

"You're awake?" Arya asked as she stepped into the rider's dimly lit room. She navigated her way through a strewn pile of shiny, fitted, armor on the floor.

"Obviously the answer is no." He mumbled, running his fingers through his unruly brunette hair. "What are you doing here at this ungodly hour?"

"It's almost midday." She reasoned as she sat on the edge of his bed and watched him massage his temples slowly.

"And my question still stands." He laid lazily partially unclothed under a small mound of soft cerulean sheets. The light from the torches on the walls threw shadows across his young weary face. The rider's slender waist peeked out from under the swathing of the blankets. An alluring sight to anyone who had the right mind to be attracted to such stunning beauty.

"I know I shouldn't be here bothering you...it's just that I really wanted to see you. To see how you are doing." She laid her hand gently on his bare chest.

"Arya..." His face held a worrisome look and his hand rushed for hers. "No, we shouldn't...you shouldn't..."

"Er...I shouldn't...what?"

'As if she didn't know!' Eragon sighed dramatically.

"Throwing yourself at me isn't going to bring back what we once had." He gave a small sympathetic smile.

"Yes, because I'm dying to join the ranks of crazy women begging to perform sexual favors for you." Arya snatched her hand back from his touch.

"I knew it. Don't think I haven't noticed the way you've been eyeing me lately." Eragon decided that Arya was rolling her eyes because she was becoming overwhelmed with untapped passion for his amazingly toned body. He was prepared to hold her off, until someone came to his aid, if she made a leap for him. "It's my fault, really. I was planning to sit you down and have a talk with you about this obsessive nature you've acquired, but it just fell by the wayside. But now that we're on the topic; unrequited love is extremely taxing on one's health - "

"Really? Look at me!" She laughed gesturing to her beautiful, subtly seductive, body. "I always get the man I want." Arya replied confidently, with a smile on her lips, poking him in the chest with her index finger. "Eragon - !"

"And now it's come to this. My god, you must be overflowing with raw sexual desire for me." He knew by the alarm in her face that she was finally going to give in to her darker side. He braced himself as he waited for her to pounce on his impeccably strapping body. He only prayed that she would be gentle.

"What have you been doing?" Arya asked once she noticed strange red marks on the young man's chest and neck.

"Only what comes natural." He replied offhandedly pretending to inspect the nails on his right hand. "Are you planning to stay much longer?"

"Eragon, tell me now." The patient elf demanded. Her voice wrought with curiosity and annoyance.

"It is not polite to have a night of wild, unabashed, passion with someone and then the next morning tell your friends every little, tiny, detail. Like, for example, a nice warm body sharing my bed. My wet, greedy, tongue licking my lover's hard aroused nipples and loud sensuous moans emanating from the hot sexual ball of passion we became as we fused together as one. It's completely inappropriate."

"I see you point now. Er..now that we're past what you did last night, what are you planning to do today?"

"Unfortunately, I am not in the proper physical state to do anything. Therefore I shall lie here in my weakened condition for the remainder of the sunlight hours. I've spent one half of the day in here, I might as well spend the rest of it here as well."

"What about all of the people who are anxiously waiting to see you? The Varden? What about Galbatorix, his Urgals, and his other creepy, ugly, henchmen?" Arya inquired. Her brow arched painfully and unnaturally high; clearly it was a natural-born elf skill to hide their eyebrows in their hairlines. It was also a innate thing for elves to be able to ask so many tedious questions in one breath. "And most importantly, what about the war we're still fighting?"

"Arya, really?" He leaned back on his lavish pile of soft pillows and threw his arm across his eyes. "Must I go about smiling, shaking hands, kissing the checks of shrunken old women, and blessing little pink babies -"

"No, I don't think you should do that anymore..." The elf stated thoughtfully as she tapped her slender finger against her pointed chin. "the blessing babies part. You can do everything else, if you so wish."

"Yes, I think you're quite right. Besides, it didn't go so well the last time."

"I know, that little girl turned out to be a complete freak of nature. We don't need anymore like her around."

"Must I always play the role of the strong, remarkably good looking, well-dressed, intelligent and gifted rider? The Varden's sexy hero? I swear this life is such a burden sometimes, except for the part when I get just about anything I want. But other than that, I have to put on a smiling face, listen to everyone ooh and ahh whenever I walk by, and nod my head in agreement when anybody talks about their passionate hatred for the evil king. This occupation is detrimental to my health." He said somberly. "Don't even get me started on Saphira's mating season." A sharp shudder ran through his entire body.

"You're forgetting that in this occupation you have to occasionally lift your sword." Arya added helpfully.

"That is another thing. Waving a sharp, shiny, object around in the air could poke someone's eye out. I'm not to keen on the whole killing thing, honestly. Lifting my sword does have it's advantages, though, like nicely toned arm muscles. Women go crazy about those sorts of things."

"Yes, we do. An absolute must have." Arya leaned back next to Eragon and rested her head on his bare shoulder.

"Anyways, back to my point." He shoved her away to cease the touching. He feared that an overindulgence of skin to skin contact with someone, especially with one such as Arya, would undoubtedly unleash their ferocious sexual beast that had been, for years and years, tamed and repressed. Eragon took great measure not to fall victim to predators that were intimately starved. "I am unfit to do anything."

"But you were able to spend the whole night tossing in the bed." She replied casually.

Eragon discovered that he strongly disliked talking about him love life with his ex. He also came to the conclusion that Arya was insanely jealous of his night time companion.

"Quiet you." He commanded coldly. His voice froze the air between them and a silly bewildered expression on the elf's shapely face. "It is not the same thing." His voice softened a great deal. He refused to uncover his eyes in fear of seeing her hurt countenance. Sad girls always got the best of him.

"If you say so, oh powerful, mighty hero." She replied bitterly. Savior to all of Alagaesia."

"Arya, thousands of strangers praise me everyday, it would be absurd if my friends did it too." Eragon sat upright in his bed. "Again, I return to my main point - "

"Which I still fail to understand."

"If you'd stop interrupting you would understand."

"Fine." She sneered. "I give you permission to continue."

"Not that I need your permission, but thank you." He cleared his throat ceremoniously. "I can not exert myself with such trivial matters today. I have claimed a mental health day."

"This should be good." Arya tittered.

"I have designated a whole day to focus on resting and recuperating so that I can fight dragon to dragon with Galbatorix. He is rumored to have horrible breath, of course people don't tell him that, what with the fear of being killed and all. But I hope to be able to offer him some mint leaves before we duel to the end. It would be a terrible thing for Saphira and I to work so hard and then just die by way of toxic breath while trading insults with Galbatorix right before the climax of final showdown. It simply won't do."

"Unn..." They heard a deep grumbling sound.

Eragon looked at Arya as she looked around, bewilderedly, for the source of the moan. Her sexual restraint was finally at its limit, the hungry beast was coming out. She won't be able to control herself any longer. The rider knew that there was nothing that he could do save himself and that he wouldn't be able to escape the horny creature that was clawing its way out from inside of her. He decided that he would forgive Arya once she was done having her eager way with him over and over again. He wouldn't blame her, he would blame the uncontrollable beast raging inside of her. But it would be a while until he would be able to look her in the eye again...or even look at her, period, or be in the same room with her without someone to protect him from her.

"Unnn..." The sound came again.

"What is that noise?" Arya asked.

"Poor girl," He whispered sadly. "You don't even recognize the sound of the lustful monster that is trying to escape your body."

"It's not me, you idiot. It's someone else." She rose gracefully to her feet and began searching the room as Eragon remained unbothered in the bed. "Come out, come out, wherever you are." The elf sang softly. Singing was one of the few habits elves had that Eragon actually approved of, they do it so well.

Soft thuds from under the bed startled them both.

"Oh," The rider mused aloud with mild interest. "I had forgotten all about that."

"About what? What, in heaven's name, do you have under your bed?"

Again with all the questions.

"Nothing important. Only Murtagh." Eragon tried to tame his wild hair and was horribly unsuccessful. He made up his mind that it had grown too long and was in need of a desperate cut. The hero of Alagaesia couldn't be caught dead with such dreadful hair, it was his duty as a dragon rider to look good at all times.

Arya's face was filled with shock and horror. "Why is he under your bed?"

"It's a long story, actually. And I have decided that it is not the best thing in the world to share my sexual exploits with you, seeing how oddly envious you become of my chosen lovers. Jealousy doesn't suit you very well, it's not becoming in the least bit."

He noticed Arya's face turning a slight shade of crimson as she knelt to the floor.

"That's not true at all." Came her small meager response. She reached under the bed and helped Murtagh emerge from the darkness below. She found him gagged with his hands and feet bound by ropes that had been securely knotted twice. "What the hell?" She pulled him to his feet and thanked heaven that he was wearing pants that had been, strangely, cut off at the thigh.

The rider watched Murtagh stand to his full height. Eragon took extreme care to note how his firm muscles bulged and shifted beneath the surface of his warm creamy skin. His brother looked back at him with his dark eye gaze from beneath a mound of undomesticated black hair. His intense gaze sent the slightest shiver up the younger man's arms. All at once, Eragon was reminded why he felt the way he did towards him. And also why they'd had numerous accounts of passionate lovemaking.

Murtagh looked at Arya with wide, animated, eyes as he moved his arms and head vigourously. He let out a long string of words that came out muffled and unfathomable. He continued in this manner for a very long time thinking he was properly explaining the situation. The dark haired boy's stifled and unintelligible "words" were occasionally accompanied with the thrusting of his hips, the patting of his head, and a terrifying imitation of a grizzly bear.

Eragon watched him intently, clearly amused and strangely aroused, as the gagged young man continued with his ridiculous gestures. Arya could swear that she heard him growling softly from behind his seductive smirk.

After a while there was a lull in Murtagh's seemingly never-ending charades and sounds. The elf took this time to politely state that she didn't understand a damn thing.

Eragon knew that it was the sex deprived creature raging inside of her that made her momentarily stupid. She had been starring at the older boy for far too long. The rider knew the signs; standing there with a placid look on her face, biting her bottom lip, her hands on her hips. She was about ready to leap on to his gagged and helpless slave. Even though Eragon knew that he was, by far, superior to Murtagh in the good looks department, his brother was absolutely stunning on his own. Of course the rider, being the first most handsome man around and the savior of the Varden, deserved the second most handsome young man around. It was also a known fact that there were spectacular biological genes in his mother's family.

Murtagh looked at her with disbelief. After all the effort and energy he spent trying to convey his explanation, she had utterly failed at grasping his message. The older boy's left eye began to twitch from weariness and annoyance. He held his hands out to her as if he was going to strangle her. Murtagh took one step in Arya's direction and fell forward onto the bed.

"He likes it rough." Eragon drawled slowly and fetchingly. His deep, seductive voice summed up Murtagh's whole presentation with four words.

The fallen young man moaned sadly into the bed sheets.

"Quiet" Eragon commanded sharply. He smiled haughtily as his brother immediately went silent. "Good slave." The rider purred lovingly.

Arya sighed noticeably loud, she took pity on Murtagh by turning him onto his back and removing the gag from his mouth.

"Thank you." His intense voice fill the room. He smiled stunningly.

"No problem." She returned a warm smile. "I'm sure you would do the same for me."

"I think we were a little too rough." He turned to Eragon. "I have reason to believe that at some point, during the night, I passed out from a concussion due to my head hitting the headboard repeatedly."

"Oh no." Arya inhaled sharply. She instantaneously set to work inspecting Murtagh's head for bumps or bruises.

The rider watched the elf examine the human's head. It reminded him of strange looking creatures he saw depicted in a book once. The creatures were labeled as gorillas. He chuckled quietly to himself.

"Either take it hard or don't take it at all." He said firmly to his brother.

"Does your head hurt?" Arya asked.

"Faintly." Murtagh answered.

"Oh, do grow a pair." Eragon insisted loathingly.

"Be nice." The elf snapped. She glared, seething, at the rider.

"You know I have a pair." Murtagh countered. A darkness swept across his face as he narrowed his shinning eyes to little slits and joined Arya in her glaring. "At least you should. You were down there long enough last night."

"Hush." The rider ordered, an edge of ice crept into his voice. "I demand silence from you."

"And this is helping your mental state...how exactly?" Asked the girl who was clearly starving for the rider's sexual attention.

Eragon sighed thoughtfully.

He wanted to say "Because that thing over there is the only light I have in this dark place. The only love in this hateful world and the only other human, besides Roran, that I care about." But instead, what came out was: "That thing there" He gestured to Murtagh with his chin. "Is a really good toss. And he's rather...amusing at times."

"I think what you are truly trying to say is that you have really strong feelings for him." Arya interpreted.

"Ha," Murtagh chuckled. "The only person he has strong feelings for is himself."

"You there, elf." Eragon pointed to the young woman with pointed ears. "If I meant to say such things, then I would. I meant exactly what I said. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Maybe a little more." The taller brother mused aloud.

"Now I think what you are actually trying to say is that you are starting to acquire very deep and meaningful relations with him, could that possibly mean - "

"No." The brunette scowled. "Don't you start thinking in that direction."

"You love him." She finished. A triumphant smile played on her lips.

"Absolutely. Not." He pronounced each word carefully so that Arya wouldn't be so late on the uptake. "No man can hold me." He announced boastfully.

"That's true, really." Murtagh stated casually. "I tried to cuddle with him last night and he kicked me off the bed. bound me and gagged me. He said exactly that as he pushed me under the bed."

"Murtagh, do you love him?" Arya asked.

"Sure, why not?"

"Eragon...?"

"Why must you make things so complicated?" The brunette asked. "And why must elves ask so many damn questions?"

Murtagh turned to his younger brother and looked into his eyes.

"Do you love me?" He asked simply "Or am I just a frequent astoundingly magnificent lay in the sheets?"

"You're my brother. I don't have to love you, but..."

"But what?" Arya asked prompting him to continue.

"Silence elf." He ordered loudly, his voice filled the whole room.

"But?" Murtagh inquired. He listened anxious to hear the rest.

"But nothing." He sighed gently. "But. Nothing."

"You say one thing, but you mean another. I know how you think."

'And that's another reason why I care for you so much.' Eragon smirked secretly.

"I want to tell you that those words are the sweetest things you've ever said to me." There was a slight quiver in his voice, it sounded as if the older boy might brake out into tears any second.

"If you start crying, I shall never speak to you again, except to call you a ninny. Yes, that shall be your new name."

"Eragon - " Arya began.

"You there, elf. Go away. It is time for more of my mental health exercises." The brunette took the gag and tied it back in place in Murtagh's mouth.

"Shouldn't you at least go for a ride with Saphira?"

"No." He looked at her with contempt. "I've ridden her for the past four weeks in a row, now it's time for me to ride something else."

"Be gentle."

"Be gone."

"Fine, but what must my excuse be when others see that I was unable to rouse you?"

"Arya, we've been through this, already." He pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes fluttered closed for a moment. His startling brown eyes focused fully on her. "I am not aroused by you because I am not attracted to you in that way. I like boys. You have got to try harder to tame that unruly sexually frustrated beast that resides in you. Tell the others whatever you want. I do not care. Only be gone."

Murtagh rubbed his head against Eragon's thigh and let out a moan.

"Alright," Arya walked to the door. "Enjoy the rest of your mental health day."

Eragon grabbed a handful of his brother's long black hair and smiled deviously as he watched the elf exit.

"Oh, I will." She heard him say as she closed the door.