Chapter called "What a Wonderful World" Part 1 by Louis Armstrong. Part two will be MUCH longer, but I really wanted to post something tonight. It's a look inside of Bella's head for once. I probably got it wrong, but oh well.

EXCERPT FROM MY OTHER STORY:

SO CALM DOWN FOR MY SAKE, PLEASE? D:

Various reasons have prevented me from posting.

I'll start with the first. The week after my last posted chapters, I had standardized testing. I'm sure you've all had it. For two hours every day you sit and bubble in answers in a test book on questions for Science, History, Math, English, Reading, etc. I won't tell you the test, because then you'll know where I live (creepy) but it lasted a week and a half /

And every night of that week our teachers gave us packets and websites to do review on, and my mother made me do them. I had virtually no time.

And then, the next week, I had a mock trial modeled after a book I read in English called To Kill A Mockingbird. Where as all of my friends had a jury position and got to play board games for the week, I was a defense attorney. I will not go into detail, but I was on the wrong side. It was a trail that was over right and wrong, and I firmly disbelieved against my side of the story. However, despite my opinion, I had to gather nonexistent evidence from the meager book, and come up with good arguments. My next week was spent searching in and out of websites and books trying to figure how to do my job properly. In the end, I lost, for obvious reasons.

Throughout these two weeks, I was placed in a group for my history class for "Standardized Testing Olympics" where we battled against other kids in our class in games like Trash Basketball, and Jeopardy. My group happened to consist of me, and the four biggest troublemakers in the class. And I didn't even choose it. My teacher placed us by a test we took, trying to even out the teams. My friends got normal groups, and I got the worst. If it isn't proof enough, our group name was "Mr. Beaver's Army".

And almost every day of every single weekend I've spent at my grandparent's house, who have no working computers…

And now I'm facing a very very sick uncle (he's in the hospital for the fiftieth time), a math end of course test on Thursday on a course I haven't finished, finals, and end of the year projects.

And yeah, I shouldn't be complaining, and yes, I should be more organized and then I would have updated. I'm sorry, though. Very very very very very sorry, that I didn't update. I am a terrible person D:

But I'm going to try to get back on track. I've got three weeks left of school, or two and a half. Things will get even worse, but I'm determined to update more. Many of my stories WILL be updated tonight.

I definitely give you permission to throw bricks at my head.

BPOV

I walked out in the cool summer morning air to get to the mailbox. I grabbed the usual junk mail, and the bills. I paused, though, before I turned around, looking at Edward's house.

Edward. I thought about the kiss I'd given him last night. I would be lying if I said I didn't think he was … attractive. Okay, that was still lying. It would be absolutely blasphemous if I said I wasn't falling in love with him.

But he didn't know that. And he probably never would. I sighed and walked back inside. It didn't matter anyway. I had bigger problems. Namely, the fact that my grandmother was dying.

She was fading, and I knew it was only a matter of time before she was gone. And for the first time in my life, I felt entirely helpless. I had learned at a young age that there was always another choice. But it seems like it's finally been proven wrong. We can never escape the finality of death.

It was odd, I seemed calm at some moments, and panicked at others. I remembered things I wanted to do with her, and things I never would. All those years I never knew she existed.

I never told her so many memories or parts of my life. And while she seemed to know some, she would never know the others. My sole confidence after she… would be Edward. I had no one else.

Well, there was Charlie. He and Edward were quite the pair. But I could tell Edward struggled more than Charlie. Charlie was younger, he was changing naturally, while Edward had been forced to change. But Charlie was not a lifelong friend, not a lifelong love.

I thought back to the first time I had really met Edward. We were on the back porch with my grandma, and we were talking. At the time, her cancer seemed like a trivial fact, one I didn't want to remember. But now I had no choice, and now that wouldn't happen ever again. There really was a true meaning to the fact you can't go back to a time when you were truly happy.

And so I decided to call Edward. He was there within minutes, and I greeted his familiar face at the door.

"Hi," I croaked, my voice hoarse from crying.

"How are you?" He asked, getting straight to the point. I winced, but held my ground.

"Better." I managed. He smiled, and I lost myself for a moment. Why did he have to be so perfect?

We went outside. I left my crutches behind. Being with Edward always gave me a bit of bravery and courage. I leaned on his wheelchair a bit though, but he was happy to support me. He always had. I wanted to know if it would last beyond the boundaries of friendship, but now wasn't the time.

We stopped at the edge of the woods. Edward looked up at me, a caring expression on his face. "What did you want to talk about?" He asked, always so courteous.

I sighed, looking him in the eye. "I'm going to go look for a job." I bit my lip, wondering if he laughed.

"A job? Why?" He seemed confused. I laughed a short laugh, more of a bitter one.

"We've been living off of her social security and the money I earned from the air force and the jobs I had before my accident. It was fine until…" my voice broke. I cleared my throat. "Until she was… worse." I finished in a whisper.

"And well, I think I should get a job," I mumbled, looking at the ground. Edward reached up and titled my chin up a bit, enough so that he could see my eyes and I had to look into his green ones.

"I think it's a wonderful idea, if you think you're ready." I nodded, determined. "In that case, do you have a resume?" He asked.

I thought for a moment. "Yes! It's on the computer. I think I last updated it about two months ago when I considered getting a quick job to pay off a bill." He smiled, and I smiled back. Magnetic.

"Well then, I guess all we need to know now is what job you want." I blanked. I had no idea what I wanted to do at all. Not the slightest clue.

"What were you studying in college before the air force?" Edward prompted.

"Teaching," I admitted, "I had my degree in teaching."

"Well, we can't get you a job since it's summer, but maybe a preschool? They teach during the summer." I considered it. Short hours, not the best pay, but with the good amount of money I had coming in, we didn't need a lot. I would be around children all day. I didn't think it would be so bad.

"Why not?" I answered.

Edward glanced at the door. "How about we go back inside. I'll go get you an interview time for tomorrow, and you just relax at home." I knew he was just saying "we" so I would have help getting back inside. And I knew he wanted me to stay because of what was going on in my life now, but I didn't really care. I knew he did those things because he cared about me.

And when Edward left again, I couldn't help but give him another kiss on the cheek.

Was it terrible? It was short, but they'll get longer once I do some more updating. Up Next is American Girl…