New story! Man, I thought I'd never find a play for these guys to do! Well, for all it's worth, I bring you the second story in the Konoha and Suna Theatre Troupe series!

Disclaimer: NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!

Gaara: Too bad. You have to. You have no choice.

Me: But I hate doing these!

Neji: Just get it over with. I want to see what part I get.

Me: Fine…I do not own Naruto or Sweeny Todd.

Gaara: Get it? Got it? Good.

0800 hours: Konoha Theatre

The lobby was filled with cast members, shinobi milling about and calling to friends. Sakura, wrapped in a red jacket and a pink scarf, suddenly waved.

"Gaara! Temari! Kankuro! Over here!"

The Sand Sibs looked up from their scripts, and Temari smiled. "Hey Sakura-chan! Where's teme and baka?"

Sakura sighed. "Naruto and Sasuke are with Kakashi-sensei and Jiraya-sama."

"How are you, Sakura?"

Sakura smiled. "I'm fine, Gaara. How are you?"

Gaara was about to answer, but got cut off by a sharp whistle.

The whistle itself belonged to one Shino Aburame, who stood beside Tenten and Iruka. They all looked rather pleased with themselves, albeit a bit tired (Tenten and Shino).

"Hello, team," said a perky Iruka, "Welcome back. I'm sure the tour was as eventful for you as it was for me!"

The shinobi all laughed. They all recalled what had happened in the Land of Waves: Sasuke and Gaara had managed to set the balcony on fire during their first rehearsal. Gaara looked disgruntled, and Sasuke only glared.

"Must he bring up that incident every time we all get together," muttered Gaara. Sakura only tousled his hair.

"Oh come off it, you know you like the attention."

"Anyways," said Tenten, "We've finally gotten the royalties paid for our newest play: Shino, cue the techie!"

Shino pointed a finger to the ticket booth, and instantly an unseen hand pressed play on a CD player.

The cast's eyes all lit up as the familiar tune of God That's Good! began to play. But no one reacted like the Sand Sibs and Team Seven.

"Oh…em…eff…gee…I LOVE THIS PLAY!"

Gaara clapped a hand over his ear. "Damn Temari, cool it! I can't hear in this ear now!"

Sasuke snapped his head up. Was it really this play? The one play that reflected all his hopes and dreams?

"You got it, folks," said Tenten, "We're putting on Sweeny Todd."

0830 hours: Haruno Sakura, Genin, Konoha, age 12

"Now Sakura, all we need is a popular song and a show tune. Just sing."

"Alright Iruka-sensei. I got it."

Sakura cleared her throat. Although she wasn't perfect, she'd gotten a few singing lessons from the Sand Sibs during each rehearsal of the Romeo and Juliet tour. Breathing with her diaphragm, like Temari had taught her, she let her eyes shut.

Three little birds, sat on my window,
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

She then stopped, switching to her show tune.

Think of me,
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me, once in a while -
please promise me you'll try.
When you find
that once again, you long to take your heart back
and be free -
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me…

"Alright, Sakura, that's all we need."

Sakura stopped, and looked around. Naruto, Kakashi, and Sasuke looked stunned. Team Ten had gone catatonic. The Sand Sibs looked proud. Hinata's eyes had gotten so wide that Sakura wouldn't have been surprised if they popped out of her skull. Everyone else was a combination of shocked, stunned, or unreadable.

0900 hours: Uchiha Sasuke, Genin, Konoha, age 12

Shino sighed, and sipped his hot coffee. He check the list, and suppressed a grin.

"Uchiha Sasuke, your turn."

Sasuke stood, and wordlessly went on. Iruka tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"Same as Sakura, just sing a show tune and a popular song."

Sasuke only nodded. "Right."

He cleared his throat, and let loose.

Well I just heard the news today.
It seems my life is going to change.
I closed my eyes, begin to pray.
Then tears of joy stream down my face…

With arms wide open…
Under the sunlight,
Welcome to this place,
I'll show you everything,
With arms wide open…
With arms wide open…

He then paused, caught his breath, and went into his show tune.

Why does Saigon never sleep at night?
Why does this girl smell of orange trees?
How can I feel good when nothing's right?
Why is she cool when there is no breeze?
You don't give answers, do you friend?
Just questions that don't ever end…
Why God? Why today?


Sasuke paused, and looked at Shino. "What?"

"Hang on for a bit, Sasuke," said Iruka, "Tenten passed out again."

0930 hours: Sabaku no Gaara, Genin, Suna, age 12

Iruka took a sip of his tea. He'd never known that his former students had such talent. Not only did Sakura have a pleasing mezzo-soprano, but also Sasuke had proved to have an astounding tenor. Konohamaru had a childish tenor, pleasing to listen to but endearing all the same, while Shikamaru possessed a countertenor. Shino and Tenten then announced the next person.

"Gaara, step on up."

He stood, nodded to his siblings, and walked onstage.

Calling all cars we've got another victim,
'Cause my love has become an affliction.
What did you expect from me?
What did you expect from me?

I'm sorry but I think I failed to mention,
That I lied at my very first confession.
What did you expect from me?
What did you expect from me?

'Cause this has been building since I have been breathing,
And I know how it's going to end.

So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word when I swore that I would let you down…
And now that I'm gone…
Try to forget me and just move on…
So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word and you hate me for it now.
You knew all along…
Try to forget me and just move on…

Gaara stopped, and launched himself into the show tune.

Attend the tale of Sweeny Todd:
His skin was pale and his eye was odd.
He shaved the faces of gentlemen,
Who never thereafter were heard of again.
He trod a path that few have trod,
Did Sweeny Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

He kept a shop in London Town,
Of fancy clients and good renown.
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their
Maker impeccably shaved by Sweeny,
By Sweeny Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Swing your razor wide, Sweeny!
Hold it to the skies!
Freely flows the blood of those who moralize!

Gaara stopped. The entire theatre had gone silent. Shino and Tenten were completely gobsmacked. Iruka was staring at him in fascinated horror. Kankuro and Temari were beaming up at him, obviously proud. The sensei and older shinobi were all looking at him in surprise. He only smirked.

He did so love that show tune.

0950 hours: Hyuuga Hinata, Genin, Konoha, age 12

"Come on, Hina-chan," said Ino, attempting to coax Hinata onstage. Hinata frantically shook her head no.

"Get out of the way," said Neji, pushing Ino to the side. "Hinata, you can do this. You have a great singing voice."

Hinata whimpered, then shuffled onstage. Shino smiled at her reassuringly.

"Go ahead, Hinata. Don't be shy."

She took a deep breath, and let it out.

Since the day they got married,
He'd been praying for a little baby boy.
Someone he could take fishing,
Throw the football and be his pride and joy.
He could already see him holding that trophy,
Taking his team to state…
But when the nurse came in with a little pink blanket
All those big dreams changed.

And now, he's wrapped around her finger…
She's the center of his whole world…
And his heart belongs to that sweet little, beautiful, wonderful, perfect
All American girl.

Hinata felt less insecure now, and went into her show tune with gusto.

Maybe far away,
Or maybe real nearby…
He may be pouring her coffee,
She may be straitening his tie!
Maybe in a house,
All hidden by a hill…
She's sitting playing piano,
He's sitting paying a bill!

Betcha they're young,
Betcha they're smart,
Bet they collect things
Like ashtrays, and art!
Betcha they're good --
Why shouldn't they be?
Their one mistake
Was giving up me!

So maybe now it's time,
And maybe when I wake…
They'll be there calling me "Baby"...

The cast broke into applause, and she gave them all a shy little wave.

1000 hours: Hyuuga Neji, Genin, Konoha, age 13

They had a few duds after Hinata's performance, including Kakashi, Gai, Lee, and Jiraya acting like idiots and being throttled by Tenten, Sakura, and Tsunade. Eventually, the got to someone bound to take this seriously.

"Neji," said Tenten cheerily, "Your turn!"

Neji went up, and immediately began to sing.

When everybody else refrained,
My uncle Johnny did cocaine.
He's convinced himself right in his brain
That it helps to take away the pain.
Hey, Johnny…
Hey what you say Johnny…

I wanna go out tonight,
Come a little closer to the city lights,
Levitation ain't your only friend,
Levitation coming back again…
Feel a burning in your body's core,
It's a yearning that you can't ignore,
Now I wanna go out tonight.

Neji stopped, groping for the words to the show tune. Eventually he remembered, and began again.

When you're a Jet,
You're a Jet all the way,
From your first cigarette
To your last dyin' day.

When you're a Jet,
If the spit hits the fan,
You got brothers around,
You're a family man!

You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When company's expected,
You're well protected!

The theatre was cheering so loud, the rafters shook. Neji only smiled, and walked offstage.

1030 hours: Yamanaka Ino, Genin, Konoha, age 12

Tsunade and Kankuro had surprised the panel by performing rather well. Choji and several others had just made them sick, while some of the ANBU had shown off their surprising talent. Iruka and Tenten checked the list, and groaned.

"Ino, step up."

She skipped onstage, and launched into her music.

Sun's up
A little after twelve
Make breakfast for myself
Leave the work for someone else
People say
They say that it's just a phase
They tell me to act my age,
Well I am

On this perfect day,
Nothing's standing in my way

On this perfect day,
When nothing can go wrong

It's the perfect day,
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
I could stay, forever as I am

On this perfect day

She stopped, flashed Sasuke a grin, and went into a show tune.

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat or help you feed your pussycat

Men grow cold as, girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square-cut or pear-shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend

She finished with a flourish, and the panel, comprised of Simon, Paula, and…wait, wrong show. Tenten had her eyes screwed shut, Shino had probably fallen asleep for all the activity he was showing, and Iruka was speechless.


1100 hours: Sabaku no Temari, Genin, Konoha, age 15

Shino and Tenten were listening to Temari's song, while Iruka had once again pulled out the Advil.

See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . .

Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

"Alright," said Shino, "That was good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, we're sure."

1130 hours: Uzumaki Naruto, Genin, Konoha, age 12

Shino was tired, Tenten was bored, and Iruka was sipping his tea. Reading the list, Shino called out, "Naruto, get up there."

Naruto went onstage, enthusiastic as always. "All right! I'll be in the play for sure. Believe it!"

He took a deep breath, and went into his song.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life…

"Good job, Naruto. Now do your show tune."

"Gotcha, Iruka-sensei!"

Well, either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a pool table in your community.
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in River City.

Naruto stopped, and grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah…uh…that's pretty much all I got."

1200 hours: Konoha Theatre

Shino stood, stretching his muscles.

"Well team, that's all of our auditions. The cast list will be up tomorrow. Got it?"

The shinobi all nodded, murmurs of assent echoing around them. Tenten sighed.

"Alright then, see ya tomorrow!"

And I'm done! Wow, this chapter sucked to write. A few explanations:

Mezzo-soprano: (meaning "middle soprano" in Italian) a female singer whose range lies between the soprano and the contralto, usually extending from the A below middle C to the A two octaves above. While mezzo-sopranos generally have a heavier, darker tone than sopranos, the mezzo-soprano voice resonates in a higher range than that of a contralto.

Tenor: a singer with a voice range from approximately C3 (one octave below middle C) to A4 (above middle C) in choral music, or up to "tenor C" (C5, one octave above middle C) or higher in operatic music.

Countertenor: an adult male who sings in an alto, mezzo-soprano or (more rarely) soprano range, often through use of falsetto, or sometimes natural head voice. A younger male who has this ability is called a Male Alto.

If you still don't get any of it, then just Google it. Next chapter has the cast list, so be patient!