Hermione yawned, blinking furiously as she forced her eyes to remain open. Against her will, almost without her knowledge, they slid shut again. It wasn't until her head hit the parchment on the table in front of her that she jerked her head up; awake once again. It was after lunch now, and Hermione was taking advantage of her free period to hole up in the library to try to find a way out of her current predicament. She pouted to herself as she rearranged the books in front of her and forced her brain to concentrate. All she wanted was to get Ron to stop teasing her and for Harry and Draco to stop fighting! How was she to know that when she pulled people into the dreams those things would actually happen?
She shifted in her seat guiltily. Ok, so she had known that Snape was affected by the dream… and she had known that making oblique references to things that happened in the dream made the boys blush and squirm. But aside from that she was completely innocent. Completely. Honestly, how could she have known, how could anyone have known, that Voldemort and his little Death Eaters would be sick and out of sorts after the Princess Bride incident. And, really,just who did Dumbledore and Snape think they were making her research her own form of revenge to figure out how to really hurt Voldemort on an alternate plane of reality before he figured out what was what? He could apply Occlumency all he wanted. Just like Harry couldn't shut out his link to the mad man, he couldn't shut down his link to Harry. If Harry was sucked into the book, so was Voldemort.
Brown eyes snapped wide open. When had she shut them again? Hermione shoved at her hair, moving it away from her heated cheeks. Why was the library so damn warm today? She yawned again, halfheartedly moving her ink bottle to the side as she rested her head against the blissfully cool surface of the table. Just for a minute. Within seconds she was snoring softly.
From the shadows, Luna smiled happily. One little sleeping draught mixed into the Muggle water bottle Hermione always carried with her and she was free to finish what she'd started last night. Harry and Draco were so close to being together and Ron… well. She smiled happily to herself as she cast a notice-me-not charm on the sleeping brunette and calmly strolled out of the library. Ron was taken care of. Besides, Hermione didn't truly understand her boys. Invading their dreams was a brilliant idea, but the bushy haired Gryffindor really should leave the scheming to Ravenclaws. Especially ones who appreciated Lewis Carroll and Disney.
Harry grumbled to himself as he got ready for bed that night. It was official: Draco was avoiding him. Oh sure, they passed in the corridors and even had some of the same classes together, but aside from the occasional smirk or superior look Draco never gave him more than a passing glance. He wouldn't even fight with him for goodness sakes! And he certainly was not pouting over that fact. Not at all. He dearly wanted to vent to someone that would understand, like Hermione, but glances at the Marauders Map had shown her sitting in her favorite spot in the library. And Draco was nowhere near the library, so he had no excuse to go bug her.
He looked up, trading commiserating glances with his best friend. "Night Ron." Luna had been missing all afternoon, which confused and unsettled the red head. Harry thought it was cute. Not that he would ever confess that out loud. With one deeper sigh, he put his glasses on the nightstand and pulled his bed hangings closed. He would just have to stalk the blond tomorrow.
Harry jerked at the loud irate voice. He looked over and blinked at the sight before him, before looking down and blinking yet again. "I have fur," he dazedly replied.
"Lovely," Draco ground out through gritted teeth. "I'm wearing a dress. The question that intelligent individuals would be asking, however, is WHY I am wearing a DRESS in the first place! I thought your ridiculous little friend would have stopped this asinine charade as soon as she realized we weren't declaring open war on each other." Draco paced back and forth, his petticoat flouncing about as he turned sharply. "Obviously ignoring each other does nothing." He nodded to himself, tossing a strand of long blond hair over his shoulder. "Tomorrow we will do a public declaration of affection. Are you capable of brushing your hair?"
"I have fur," Harry repeated, still looking down at his body.
Draco gave him an impatient look. "Yes, yes. You're a bloody Cheshire cat. I get that. But look at me Harry. ME! I am wearing a dress. That is so not on! And this?" he gestured irritably. "What particular breed of moron would put a bow in the back of the dress?! My hips do not look like this!"
"I have fur." Harry seemed to be having a great deal of trouble moving on.
Gray eyes rolled in irritation. "Obviously I will have to brush your hair for you. I refuse to kiss you in public when your hair looks like a birds nest. Hmm. And those clothes… No matter, you can borrow mine until I can get my personal tailor to meet us in Hogsmead to take your measurements. Your regular clothes, of course, will have to be burnt; the ashes scattered and offered as sacrifice." He looked around impatiently before reaching out and seizing Harry's wrist in a firm grip. "Come along then. We will follow this trail and hopefully find a way out of your friend's sick and twisted little mind."
They'd walked for quite a ways – Draco swearing under his breath in both French and English, Harry… petting himself in fascination – before the sound of bickering made them turn to the left. "Oh thank Merlin!" Draco exclaimed breathlessly, catching a glimpse of an elaborate table set for tea through the trees. He quickened his step eagerly. "A proper tea; someone to help us."
"…had nothing to do with this! I've been in the library all fucking afternoon!"
"Miss Granger," Harry and Draco froze, exchanging wide eyed looks as they recognized the voice of their Potions professor. "If I have to give you detention for life, if I have to fail you in Potions and deny your graduation, if I have to write a scathing letter in regards to your academic prowess to every university of moderate accreditation, I will. Desist in this foolish nonsense at once!"
"But," Hermione sounded close to tears, "but I promise! After the interrogation from you and Professor Dumbledore, I didn't do anything! I've been researching all afternoon! You wouldn't really fail me and slander my name would you?"
A weary sigh. "Miss Granger, you are wearing a strange hat, I have bunny ears…"
"Hare," she interrupted sullenly.
"I think I'm the Mad Hatter. That would make you the March Hare."
A pause. "Be that as it may," Draco and Harry exchanged another glance, as one beginning to back silently and cautiously away. "Have you anything else to add?"
Hermione sniffed. "Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you're at."
They didn't stick around to hear how Snape would respond to that; turning and fleeing with little grace and much haste. "What the hell is going on around here?" Draco fumed.
Suddenly, the scenery blurred around them and everything disappeared in a rush of wind. Harry and Draco clung together, closing their eyes to stave off the dizziness. When the motion stopped, they opened their eyes to find themselves in an elaborately tended garden. Where a trial of sorts was taking place.
Luna waved down at them cheerfully. "Hello boys! You'll have to wait your turn!" She turned to the box where Bellatrix Lestrange was looking around in bewilderment. "Neville is my friend. Sorry. Next time, try to antagonize people who are not my friends, ok?" She waved a fancy wand covered in rubies in the air. "Off with her head!"
"Err… Luna?" A shortened version of Ron sat by her side and watched as a man wearing a shirt with a jack of hearts and a man wearing a shirt with a two of hearts led Bellatrix over to a guillotine.
"Ron?" Luna smiled at him sweetly. "What did I tell you about interrupting me while I am at work?"
He looked at Harry. Harry shrugged. Looking back at Luna, Ron held up his hands helplessly. "Nothing."
"Oh." Luna blinked slowly. "That's right, we haven't discussed this yet." She smiled brightly at Ron. He smiled back instinctively. "I forgive you for interrupting me."
"Of course." She waved her ruby wand regally. "Next!"
Draco grabbed Harry's arm and led him to a row of wooden benches. "Potter," he hissed. "Can't you, just once, associate with the right sort of people?"
Harry yanked his arm out of Draco's clutches irritably. "I think I've managed just fine with the friends I have! And Luna's perfectly fine!" He watched in silence as a man wearing a ten of hearts shirt and a man wearing a three of hearts shirt led Voldemort to the confessional. "Mostly fine," he amended.
"Err…Luna?" Ron exchanged bewildered looks with Harry as he tried again.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm working, honey."
Luna smiled brightly at the snake faced man trying to wandlessly curse everyone in the crowd. "Nope, sorry. Harry was the very first friend I ever had. You made him sad when you killed his parents and that odd little Hufflepuff who played Quidditch and his Godfather. Next time, try not to make my friends sad, ok?" She waved her wand airily. "Off with… oh, wait." She turned to smile down at Harry; politely choosing to ignore the way Draco was once again clinging to his arm. "Harry love? Perhaps you should say it."
"Oh. Umm… ok. Off with his head?" He watched in fascinated silence as the two card wearing individuals took Voldemort to the guillotine as well.
"You know," Draco eyed Luna warily. "Maybe you have a point. Perhaps I should befriend Loony."
"She's waving a wand and having people beheaded," Harry offered quietly, watching as a still bickering Hermione and Snape were hauled into the box. "Perhaps you shouldn't insult her."
"Right." Draco nodded decisively; turning to smile charmingly at the blonde. "Luna it is."
Luna smiled dreamily at the couple so busy arguing they didn't even really notice they'd been brought on trial. "The Mad Hatter murdered time, you know?" she offered conversationally.
Ron looked alarmed. "You're not going to have them beheaded too, are you?"
"Of course not, Ron! Hermione is simply misguided and bossy, not evil." Ron looked relieved. Luna pursed her lips thoughtfully. "No, someone who murders time should have a fitting punishment." Her eyes lit up with excitement as she waved her wand enthusiastically. "Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater, had a wife but couldn't keep her. He put her in a pumpkin shell, and there he kept her very well!"
Hermione and Snape may not have noticed being put on trial, but they certainly noticed when they were unceremoniously magicked into a large pumpkin with only one window too small to crawl through for ventilation. Luna looked at Ron guiltily as the pumpkin was rolled away. "Technically that was Mother Goose. Can you forgive me for mixing up the storylines?"
"Err…sure." Ron scratched his head as the sound of Hermione yelling and Snape cursing gradually faded into the background.
"So!" Luna clapped her hands in glee. "I'm ready for you now, Draco!"
"What?" Draco tightened his hold on Harry's arm. "Why?"
Luna looked regretful. "Well, you're not dating Harry yet, so it won't make him too terribly sad if you are found guilty of your crimes."
"But I am wearing a dress!" Draco wailed. "I can't die looking like this!"
"We're dating," Harry hastily offered, linking their fingers together. Luna looked dubious. Harry brought their joined fingers to his mouth and kissed Draco's knuckles.
"Hmm." Luna still looked indecisive.
"Potter that's not how you convince someone we're dating!" Draco hissed out before turning, straddling Harry, and bringing their lips together.
Ron blinked; watching as Harry's hands slid up Draco's thighs and under his skirt to haul the blond closer. The Slytherin groaned, rocking his hips in encouragement as he pulled away from the kiss far enough to bite down on Harry's lower lip. Ron continued to watch as Draco licked Harry's bottom lip. It wasn't until the blonds' tongue entered Harry's mouth and Harry let out a strangled sounding moan that Ron tore his eyes away from the sight and turned to his smiling girlfriend. "Should we be watching this?"
Luna smiled brightly. "It's a beautiful thing, Ron."
"Well," Ron rubbed the palms of his hands on his thighs nervously. "Well sure it is. But Harry's like my brother. It's just wrong watching him make out with someone you know? Especially Malfoy."
"Fine." Luna pouted slightly before waving her bejeweled wand to gain their attention.
Both boys ignored her; Draco rocking his hips in earnest now. "Harry," he groaned as Harry pulled the collar of his dress down far enough to bite his collarbone. Draco's hands wandered down Harry's neck and back. "Your fur is so soft!"
Harry ignored Ron in favor of gripping Draco's hips tighter and sucking on his earlobe. "Love your hands on me," he declared. "Want to kiss you forever."
"Harry? I believe you."
Draco ignored Luna, completely lost as Harry's hands moved just a bit to the left and he saw stars. "Forever," he agreed absently; fisting a handful of Harry's hair and pulling him close for another kiss.
"Forever?" Luna perked up happily.
Ron gave her a wary look. "I don't think…"
"Nonsense!" Luna waived off his objections before pointing her wand at the two distracted boys. "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" A soft blue glow surrounded the boys. Both ignored it as Harry toppled them over onto the ground.
"What does that mean?"
Luna shrugged. "Who knows?"
"What does that do?"
Harry woke up the next morning and stretched languidly. He felt so relaxed, so perfectly content, that he wanted to stay in bed. But he couldn't. Because today he had to get Draco to stop ignoring him. Ron kept sending him nervous, slightly wary, looks as they got dressed. "Everything all right Harry?"
"Just fine Ron!" Harry grinned at his friend as they walked to breakfast. He was a bit surprised that Hermione wasn't with them, but shrugged it off. She was probably still in the library, poor thing. "We should do something nice for Hermione, Ron. She works really hard."
Ron shrugged. "Whatever. We'll get her flowers or something."
Harry snickered. "Perhaps a talking day planner like she got us for Christmas a couple years ago."
Draco was, oddly enough, leaning elegantly against a pillar in front of the Great Hall. Harry grinned when he saw him, hurrying to his side. Draco shook his head disparagingly. "I knew you would be unable to brush your own hair." He gave the ceiling a 'why me' look. "No matter, let's get the public display over with, and then your meddlesome little friends will mind their own business."
He grabbed Harry, pulling him close and kissing him soundly before stepping away and turning towards the Slytherin table. He paused by the Ravenclaw table, offering a cautious nod. "Luna."
"Good morning Draco!"
Harry sat at the Gryffindor table, smiling to himself and blushing slightly from the increased attention of his classmates. "You and Malfoy, huh?" Ron sighed.
"Yep. You and Luna?"
"Seems so. Do I have to start calling him Draco?"
"Nah. You can still call him Malfoy."
"Thank goodness for small favors." The two friends smiled at each other before returning to their meal.
It wasn't until the morning post arrived and an official letter from the Ministry of Magic fell into his lap that Harry stopped smiling. He read the parchment, green eyes widening with shock and alarm. His shout reverberated through the room. "What do you mean Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is an ancient wedding incantation!"
Draco dropped his fork; staring slack jawed across the room. Luna smiled apologetically as she finished a bite of porridge. "Oops."