Disclaimer: This list has nothing to do with Death Note except that its about L.I made this up with my friends and some of it is true but most of it isn't. I own the idea of putting this list together. Everything else belongs to the creator of Death Note.

Reasons Why L Doesn't Die or Can't Die Because...

He's L.

He's British.

He's severely underweight.

He's a ball magnet (you don't even want to know.)

He likes sweets and doesn't get fat.

He's a master at tennis.

He looks good in a dress.

He's getting married next Tuesday.

He has a pregnant fiancé.

Light is his long-lost brother.

Has never eaten sushi.

Never been to the arctic to see polar bears.

Holds stuff weird.

Needs to learn to write with left hand.

Needs to learn how to control a knife.

He's a vampire.

He's made of pudding.

His blood's black.

He walks into walls.

He's had a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

Never been on American Idol.

He hasn't gotten his glasses Rx yet.

His voice is like an angel… Not.

He's Garra without the demon.

He likes turtles.

Six Flags Theme Park is amazingly awesome.

He likes penguins.

He goes to conventions cosplayed as Light.

He doesn't like socks.

Birds fly and pigs don't.

Y2K didn't happen.

He's really smart.

Noodles are in cells.

Heredity isn't real.

He touched Misa.

Naruto is alive.

He sticks beans in his ears.

He has a stick.

Look! A distraction.

He lies and his pants don't catch on fire.

He needs a hug.

He's clinically insane… And loving it.

He's a chibi.

He has an imaginary boyfriend.

He's Hot!

His college major is therapy.

He doesn't have a heart.

He's 3rd in command of a spaceship.

……..Your Mom.


He's a fangirl of Sailor Moon.

He's a genius of randomness.

He never goes outside.

He read How to Kill a Mockingbird.

He rocks at the Wii.

He pwns Halo 3.

His favorite song is "Butterfly" by DDR.

He mastered Pac-man.

He ate Mrs. Pac-man.

He declared Japan's independence.

He killed the people of Pompeii.

He has a bunny named Floppers.

He has a Myspace.

He's a male model.

He has his own Buddha.

He hates food.

L defeated Itachi, Sasuke, and Orochimaru.

He's too young to die,

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.

Grass isn't emo and doesn't cut itself.

He makes a good test subject.

He's appropriate for life.

……………..He died.

He likes the Jeopardy theme song.

……….Just 'cause.

He is "Law"liet.

He is good nugety freshness.

He draws his own manga series.

He invented invisible shoes.

He's not from Japan.

He had plastic surgery.

He wears a wig.

He shops at K-mart.

L is bi.

Hell isn't frozen over.

He has implants.

He got electrocuted 3 times and lived. (except for a couple brain cells.)

He has abnormal mitosis.

He has a pet llama.

No one loves Tina.


He likes drinking salt water.

He shaved Light's head.

He takes steroids.

He likes Algebra.

He has an awesome ringtone.

Jon skips. (an inside joke.)

His shinigami is in hiding.

He has shinigami eyes.

He invented Death Note.

He's a romance language.

He eats starfish.

He was a guest star on Law and Order,

He invented wet napkins.

He likes I-Spy,

It's not on his person.

That's what she said.

He sniffs paint sharpie and expo.

That's what his face said.

He can whistle the Mario theme song.

He's going to destroy the universe.

He's the ruler of the universe.

He dyed his hair extreme red.

Jon raped him. (another inside joke.)

Kellie molested him. Yup Yup.

Tim messed up his face.

He wants to see his DMNA. (a crazy way to say DNA.)

He's edjumakated.

He's an ambulance driver.

He works at Starbucks.

He killed Kenny. (Who hasn't?)

He doesn't know his names.

Shut goes down, ask a computer.

He has a winos. (his elbow, get your mind out of the gutter.)

The literacy rate in the U.S, is about 94 .

He has a boyish figure.

He invented the L-POD.