(A/N: Ok, guys. You haven't seen a crackfic 'till you've seen one'a MY crackfics. 'Specially since my normal stories are normal people's crackfics. K, so this is a cracked-out Harry/Draco. I apologize in advance to any ACTUAL H/D shippers out there, this is simply done in jest of the non-existancy of your ship.)

One day, Harry was walking down a hall.

BZZT-BEEP-BOOP

He apparated. Right into Malfoy Manor.

"OH HARRY PLEASE MAKE SWEET, SWEET LOVE TO ME!" cried Draco, who was suddenly there also.

"Sure," said Harry, "Let's do it somewhere people will never think to look for us...like your bedroom!"

"KK," said Draco.

--NINE MONTHS LATER–

"OMG HARRY IM TOTALLY PREGGERS EVEN THO IMMA MANWHORE AND-OMG MY NON-EXSITANT WATER JUST BROKE TAKE ME TO ST. MUNGOS!!!!!!!!111!1!!1!1!1"

"Sorry, Draco. But I realized that you're a total manwhore, and I'm going out with Ginny now. She's totally Wizard, so suck it," said Harry.

"I WANNA BUT IM TOTALLY IN LABOR AND-OMG IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!! IMMA TOTALLY NAME IT UNICORN-RAINBOW-STARLIGHT-MOONBEA-"

"Draco, you manwhore, that's a boy. I'd think YOU of all people would recognize that."

"OMG, HARRY, IT'S JUST SO SMALL, I COULDN'T REALLY SEE IT. AWW, LOOK, IT TOTALLY HAS UR EYES AND HAIR AND-"

"Yeah," said Harry, "But he totally has your balls."

"OMG, BUT I CAN'T SEE ANY-HEY!"

"Byea, manslut! I'll put you on welfare whilst I have a nice time with my sane, fawsome, BAMF of a girlfriend."

"KK," said Draco, "I'LL TOTALLY ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!!!111!1!!!!!!"

And the last Draco and Unicorn-Rainbow-Starlight-Moonbeam Malfoy ever saw of Harry was his middle finger. All was well.

(A/N: Please review, or I'll totally set crackfic Malfoy on you.

Draco: "KK!"

Sorry I've been gone a while. Homeschooling doesn't give you as much time as you hear. :P)