Reality of a Nightmare

Just came into my head one day and I started writing, kinda short..
I wanted to continue it, but the 'mood' passed...

I still have no idea where this came from...

Takes place after Ichi get's back from Soul Society, and before he meets Hirako or fights Ulquiorra and Yammy.

Ichigo wakes up in a dark, damp alley - his hands slimy and sticky.
Finding a bloody arm in his hands he finds out the reality of a nightmare.

My hands feel warm, sticky...
I feel... Satisfied.
My hands are holding something...
I open my eyes and discover my sin.

The orange haired teen opened his chocolate brown eyes and looked around to see where he was. He was in a dark ally somewhere in town, looking up he saw the full moon behind some thin passing clouds. Trashcans filled with more than they can contain, brown soaked cardboard boxes. His clothes felt heavier than they should, cold, wet and glued to his body like wet clothes do. His lean muscles clearly visible through the black fabric of his clothes.

The smell of iron entered his note and made it's way to the brain. Scanning the area he saw nothing, but when he hung his head he saw he was holding something in his hands. As he looked closer at it was a human arm, covered in blood. He became aware that he sat on his knees in a puddle of dark red cromson blood. Realizing soon enough it must belong to the arm in his hands, or at least the body it was attached to.

My hands are red...
I fear for my forgotten memories...
My hands won't let go of the red liquid...
I fear the others when they discover my sin...

He released the arm in shock and scrambled back until he hit a cold brick wall. Staring at the arm in fear of how it came in his hands and how he became covered in the same substance as the large puddle on the ground. Fear spread throughout his body when he was unable to remember what he did the past few hours. As he tried to remember a shaking red hand went up to his face, where it connected with a hard surface. The boy froze. Red hands searching for the edges of the thing covering his face, taking it off he was shaking; both in fear of what he would find, and the cold weather. Deep inside he knew what it was, turning it around completely he was sure.

The white bone mask he hoped never to wear again, his facial features fitted the back of the mask perfectly, Of course; the mask was his. The usual pitch black striped that decorated the whole left side were barley visible due to the amount of blood smeared on ot. The mask was grinning at him, the smile with the far to sharp teeth scared him, even though it was his own. Dropping the mask he started at the crimson teeth, teeth that ripped the once human body to shreds. But it were his own teeth that chewed the flesh, Thinking about it made him want to vomit, but nothing came.

My hands are still painted crimson...
I don't know what to do...
My hands held the body while my mouth attacked it.
I should disappear from this world.

The teen was still staring at the mask as it started vaporizing. His brain no longer working like it should.


That's what his brain told him to do. He stood up, still leaning against the cold brick wall. His body trembling in fear of what just happened. Jumping to the roof he evaded the iron stairs and white satellite dishes as he went. Running from rooftop to rooftop was all he could think of, no idea where to go next.


He tried to suppress his reiatsu as much as possible, but in his current mental state it was even harder than normal. Changing his directing going north, to the nearest river. He was hoping, praying even that the blood would wash away from his hands, who were still refusing to keep still. Should he act like nothing happened? How could he, he ate another being, ripped it to shreds without feeling, not even the tiniest bit of regret. The wind felt like razor blades to his freezing skin. A few minutes passed before he reached the river which was, luckily, not lit by the streetlights. He came running across the ground, that way his 'friends' wouldn't him that fast. At least that is whet he kept telling himself.

My legs are shaking...
I'm running away from everything I know.
My chest is hollow...
I have become a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Arriving at the river bank he sank to his knees in the wet grass, he remembers the rain pouring down in the same way when he lost... Putting his hands in the freezing water he rubbed them together, trying to wash away the blood. It wasn't working, he pulled some grass out of the ground and used it as some sort of soap. No difference. Panic made itself known to his body as he stared to scrub even harder, and uncontrolled. When the water stilled he saw his own reflection; His lips, teeth and area around the eyes were red, the blood was already drying. The rain kept falling, as if it was were reflecting his innerworld. The scared orange haired teen jumped into the river, not caring if he would freeze to death in the icy cold water. By submerging himself he hoped he would be able to wash the blood away. Under water his vision was limited and everything seemed to have a greenish glow, but it might just be the color of the water. Rubbing his face underwater while holding his breath was harder than expected. Grabbing some sand from the river bottom he scrubbed it between his hands, when the air in his lungs was gone he got back above the water, gasping to fill his lungs with air. Looking at his shaking hands he saw that the most blood was gone, yet he still saw saw it in his hands as red - he cleaned them some more. Trying to erase what could not be erased from his mind.

My hands are clean...
I can still see the blood on them...
My robes are soaked...
I know it's there, even if it's gone for the eye of the other...

Looking back at his reflection in the cold water he saw he could still see a reddish color surrounding his eyes and mouth. His eyes reflected fear of what was happening to him and uncertainty of what he should do. The teen dived under water again to continue the cleaning of his face, the area around his eyes.

After another half hour of trying to clean himself he got out of the water and walked along the river banks looking for a bridge to hide under. Each step he took he heard the water in his sandals and socks sop. He would stay under the bridge at least until he figured out what to do with the whole situation. He didn't want to be found, not like this, not after what he did. How would he be able to explain it to everyone; his family, friends, everyone.

The light outside seemed to die along with hisdesire to live, which the orange haired teen was losing fast. After sitting down he drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around himself trying to keep warm, but being soaked with water from the river made it harder to stay warm. It was then that he noticed the strange feeling in his upper chest, afraid of what he might find if he pulled the wet black clothes aside. Slowly his knees went away from the chest and he looked down at the place where it felt strange, lifting his hands to the border of his clothes he pulled them to the side. He saw what he feared to find; a perfect circular hole in his chest. A hole that could only belong to a hollow, a heartless being that fed upon the souls of others for survival.

My life is over...
I can't face them anymore.
My friends will hate me, fear me...
I should disappear.

"No... Why?" Were his thoughts as he lifted a shaking finger to feel if it was real, but by now he knew that it was very real. Nevertheless the boy was shocked, his hand could go into the hole, and he didn't feel anything at all.

There were footsteps on the bridge and he held his breath, afraid of discovery. The speed of his heartbeat went up. But he didn't have a heart, so he blamed the adrenaline pumping through his body, urging him to kill again in order to survive.

He hid the hole with his heavy, black clothes, drenched with blood and water. It was almost impossible to see the dark red crimson blood on his shinigami uniform, but the white layer underneath had a pink shade, blood was gone but left stains. What was he anyway? He looked like a shinigami, yet he wasn't a whole one. He wasn't a hollow either. Human? The thought made him laugh, he was everything but human.

He carefully made his way to the edge of the underside of the bridge trying to see who it was. Wide white pants. So it wasn't a shinigami. The unknown figure had his hands in his pockets. But the hungry gaze of the orange haired teen moved higher, a short white open vest. His eyes stopped when he saw something strange on the body. It looked human, but he had a hole in his stomach. Vaguely he noticed a tattoo next to the hole, the number 6.

'He's like me?' the teen wondered, and carefully inched closer to the figure in white, eyes still fixed upon the hole. He didn't notice his feet still making sobbing noises when he walked, not his own heavy breathing.

"What the fuck are you staring at?" The figure asked annoyed, breaking the boy out of his trance, startling him enough to make him lose his balance and fall on his butt on the pavement.

When he realized the other saw him he gave up on holding back the hunger that only seemed to increase around this person. His hunger made him lose control of his body and acted on instinct alone.

My body is hungry.
I need food.
My mind is blank.
I will have my food!

He jumped at the other man, who had teal colored hair, icy blue eyes and the remains of a hollow mask glued to his face. The teen only noticed this after the other spoke and they looked each other in the face. In his hunger he didn't realize that the mask once again started covering his face. Little by little the white substance came from his tear canals, and spread across the face and hardened into the white bone.

"That's a nice trick shinigami." The white clam humanoid remarked as he easily dodged a feet coming at his face, hands still in his pockets. Observing the strange shinigami he noticed the huge zanpaktou and how he refused to use it for some reason. "You don't even use that bigass zanpaktou of yours. How do you expect to win like that?" No response. Kicking the soaked mask wearer in his stomach he asked again, annoyed this time. "Answer me Shinigami."

The orange haired one slowly stood up, hands on his stomach where the others feet connected. Standing up straight and looking the other directly in his light teal colored eyes he spoke, his voice hoarse from the cold. "Why should I fight like a shinigami when I'm not?" No emotion behind his question, body still shaking from the cold and now also from frustration.

The response he got only raised more questions. Something he only got more of after the boy in front of him 'grew' a mask on his face. "Whadda ya mean?" The teal haired one asked interested about what they pathetic looking teen meant, his eyes narrowing.

The younger of the two pulled away the uniform so that his hole was visible. "This says that I'm no shinigami." Realizing the extra weight on his face he pulled of the mask and looked at it. This time the mask was still pure white, with the pitch black stripes across the whole left side, and the eternal grin. "And neither does this thing." Throwing it on the concrete the mask shattered and vaporized just like the first time he saw the mask. "So what am I? And where do I belong?" It sounded like a plea. He didn't know who to ask, or what to do, and than this person, with a hole and partial mask, appeared.

My soul is lost.
I don't belong here anymore.
My place is with people like him.
I will follow him, for he is my saviour.

He was lost, Soul Society would kill him for what he is. Friends and family would fear him. Is there a place where he could go? Swallowing deep he decided to tell this stranger everything, yet he didn't feel like a stranger. "I ate another soul... So there is no way they would accept me back like nothing happened." He was getting his will to live back, he would leave this realm and follow this man. Someone like him.

"I know a place where you can go." The the man with the jaw said smugly, like he was planning something. "But when you follow me, you'll have to do as I say."

The dirty looking one gave up on life here and didn't really care what happened to him, he nodded. The teal haired one grinned and pulled one of hands out of his pockets and held it horizontal with his shoulder, and snapped his fingers. The sky, the very air itself ripped open and showed a white/black/gray void. The summoner of said portal walked through it. The youngest of the two followed without a doubt, like a loyal dog would follow his master. As soon as he passed the opening the rift closed, not leaving a trace of it ever being there.

-- The End --

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My Ramblings/Sort of Diary;
(1) Written on paper first. Again in 1 day xD
(2) Typed out later. Took longer than 1 day... I got lazy!
(3) Not much to say.. lol xD
Gah, details, I think It's annoying to write. But does add something to the story. I'll try and use more from now on!
(5) In this story A hollow hole also represents that the person broke the biggest taboo: eating a human soul.
(6) 'Diluted', the fic from Hyou-kun was (slightly) based on this one, please R&D that one too (n.n)

Please leave a review!!