Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Already a week aboard Andromeda and the sex jokes about Harper and Dylan were still not getting old.
A/N: So ArieSemir requested Andromeda fluf, that included Beka. Fluf should not be this hard to write, really. Feedback makes me happy.
We were hanging out in the docking bay, working on the Maru because – Harper's disparaging comments aside – my little ship did seem to be in perpetual need of repairs. Harper had recruited his walking, talking fantasy woman to help, though seemingly simultaneously redefining "doing repairs" to more closely resemble standing around uselessly, flirting. I didn't really care. It wasn't like we were in any immanent danger. This left Rev and I actually working, which, really, was the normal way of things, anyway. Trance had cheerfully ignored my warnings in order to go off and try to make friends with the Uber, sighting her lack of technological expertise as an acceptable excuse.
I popped my head inside the ship. "Rev? Is it weird that I still can't get over the fact that we don't have to worry about where our next meal's coming from?"
He didn't laugh at me, which I took as a good sign. "Trance broke the coffeemaker," he stated, deadpan. I stared.
"I'll actually pay you if you tell me you're kidding."
He shook his head. I continued to stare, trying to restrain my laughter. "Um. That doesn't happen in real life."
"Captain Hunt didn't seem particularly bothered," he continued.
I shook my head. "Haven't you noticed just how God-like our dear old captain is? I'm sure something as mundane as the temporary halt to the production of the one true elixir of life is a mere…" I couldn't keep it up, dissolving into giggles.
"Stop imagining Harper and Dylan," Rev chided. I choke on air, pointing at him helplessly.
"How did you know?!"
A hand tapped my shoulder. "Hi, Beka." Dylan. I flailed, trying to breathe. Rev was mocking me, I could tell even if he wasn't even looking at me anymore and showing no outward signs of it.
"Go away," I choked, staring over my shoulder at a rather confused looking Hunt. He took a couple steps back. I stumbled into the ship, gasping for air, trying to get myself under control. I was going to kill Harper.
It took about ten minutes until I was certain I could face Hunt with a modicum of respectability. It was horrible of me to find such hilarity in Harper's innocent crush, but the way that Hunt flounced around acting as if he were the Divine in human form, here to save all the lesser beings from themselves… I walked out of the ship. He was still there, almost exactly where I had left him.
I looked away, trying to stare at anything but him. He followed my gaze to where Harper and the avatar had come as close to having sex as it is possible to be without touching the other person. He blinked. "Is he—"
"Yes." Hunt looked a little creeped out. I was, too, but had learned to mask it well over the years. I knew that Andromeda was only returning Harper's advances because she was trying to make Hunt jealous; Harper did not know this. It was sad.
"I came to offer any help I can with fixing your ship."
I resisted the obvious response – no one I don't personally know and trust touches my baby. "I think we're doing good, but thanks," I replied instead. Rev poked his head out of the Maru, saw who I was talking to and hurried out to join us. It probably, I reflected, didn't say much for my ability to play nice with others that Rev felt the need to supervise my interactions with the Commonwealth relic. It was also probably a good idea, but that wasn't the point. Hunt cringed just enough to be noticeable. It was an automatic reaction that was completely out of his control, a perfectly natural response when faced with a Maggog. It still pissed me off.
Hunt shifted awkwardly. "Well, it's getting on time for the evening meal, so if you'd all like to join me…" he let his sentence trail off, obviously expecting or at least hoping for a positive response from Rev or I. It didn't come. Rommie and Harper, on the other hand, seemed eager enough to follow him to the ends of the universe. They were also holding hands as they walked over, which took me a minute to register. Apparently it didn't matter how God-like Hunt was, Harper was still a sucker for a pair of breasts.
"What're we doing?" he asked me.
"Eating, apparently; do not make a sexual joke out of that, Seamus." He looked a tiny bit disappointed. Hunt and the avatar didn't get it – Rev was trying to pretend he didn't get it.
"Where's Trance?" Harper asked instead. I shrugged. Dylan spoke to Andromeda.
"Rommie, can you please tell Trance and Tyr that it's time for dinner?"
We walked in a procession down the hall, led, of course, by our illustrious captain, with Harper and Rommie right behind him, Rev and I far enough back so that we could mock them. Trance and the Neitzschean joined up with us and even as Harper managed to trip himself on his own feet and go crashing to the floor, and even as I almost followed him down because I may possibly have been drooling over the Uber that could kill me with his little finger, I knew that everything was going to be good, at least for a while.