A/N: College is exhausting, time consuming, and entirely essential to my future. That's my only excuse. I hope this partially makes up for my lack of updates but believe me, the updates are coming. Just…slowly.
I think I've managed to hit almost every pairing TT has (possible pairing, that is. I haven't gone and shipped RedX/Silkie, Gnaark/Rae, or anything like that) and referenced everything from comic lore to Bon Jovi to The View. If I've screwed up anywhere or some sentence doesn't make sense—and that's entire possibly considering the blatant misuse of semi-colons I know I have down there—let me know. Oh, and huge thanks to RabulaTasa for posting the link to the Random Word Generator on his profile page. That's where these words came from.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. If I did, the show would still be on-air, the comics wouldn't be alternating between suckage and a giant angst-fest, and poor Bart Allen would still be alive and well.
"Okay, since Star is technically the ruler of Tamaran, she's like the queen," Beast Boy said and waited for confirmation before he continued with, "sooooo…does that make Robin the future king?"
I'd show those scum-slurping slug butts, Gizmo thought viciously, putting the finishing touches on his latest hover ring and wishing those bullying jerks from his old neighborhood could see him now.
Slade smirked as he agreed to do Trigon's bidding, thinking there was no reason for him to believe in God—he was about to become Him.
After Saico-Tek's attack on the Tower, the Titans were surprised to find that the old saying was true—pretty much everything but the kitchen sink was ruined.
"You weren't groped, Beast Boy," Raven told him, rolling her eyes as he dived into the T-Car to escape the fangirls, but she decided it wasn't necessary to mention to him that if he had been, the offending girl would likely be missing a hand.
Wednesday night was officially Movie Marathon Night in the Tower and even though it was inevitable that they would all fall asleep together somewhere between the fourth and sixth film, no one was about to suggest that they do anything differently.
"Starfire, for the love of all that is good, you cannot allow Nightwing to wear that in public," she says, and even though Raven is aware that her knowledge of fashion is a bit lacking, even she can tell that the blue, feathered monstrosity her leader has put on is an abomination to clothes everywhere.
He doesn't know how to feel about the honorary diploma in his hands—because he never did actually graduate and all this sheet of paper really does is remind him of the life he could have, would have, maybe even should have had—but Cyborg is able to force those thoughts aside and give an honest laugh when his teammates make him march across the Common Room to the tune of "Pomp and Ceremony" so that he can reach the large cake someone has carefully drawn a cap, diploma, and giant T upon.
It was an abrupt realization but Robin thought Kid Flash was making a valid point when he said, "Have you noticed we're both dating girls who could potentially kick our asses?"
It always makes him nervous when one of the other Titans gets a fever; he knows they don't have Sakutia but seeing one of his friends shiver and sweat like that brings back memories he wishes he didn't have.
"You're just like me, boy," Slade hissed, and even though Robin knew it wasn't true, it was a long time before he could look in the mirror without being afraid of who was staring back at him.
No one can figure out if Red X is being serious when he begins to whistle "Blaze of Glory" or if he's doing it just to get on Robin's nerves.
Comparatively, it is the best movie out of the later series—not that that's saying much—but no one is all that surprised when a defensive Beast Boy speaks up with, "Hey, I liked Jar-Jar!"
"So, Robin, fangirls everywhere are dying to know—are your pants spandex or leather?" Joy Behar slyly asks, and Robin wonders if it would be more beneficial to pray for a meteor to hit the television station in the next three seconds or to just hope that his fellow Titans aren't watching this.
There is an earth saying about hearts and homes, and she knows it is true because when she looks at the Tower and her friends, Starfire knows she is where she belongs.
"I hope you're not expecting an apology," Jinx informed Jump City's mayor; she had long ago decided that, while she was willing to take responsibility for her actions, she would not say she was sorry when she wasn't.
The look in his green eyes makes in her heart pound but when she thinks about the fire and the screams that linger in her nightmares, Tara believes that some things are best left in memory.
"It was…decent," Raven grudgingly admitted, handing back Ender's Game to a grinning Beast Boy.
The Titans know that some people consider Starfire to be unintelligent, and they wish those critics could visit the Tower and watch the alien princess as she answers Jeopardy questions—and gets every damn one of them right.
Though she knew there was something ominous about the day, she always wondered why it was forbidden to even acknowledge her birthday on Azarath—but on the night of the prophecy, she understands.
"Love me or hate me, Rae—you're still thinking about me!" Beast Boy wants to shout at her retreating, rigid back but the words come out quietly because he's pretty sure she feels the latter and he's not sure he wants to know what she does think of him anyway.
When he runs, everything around him meshes together into melded forms of shapes, colors, and noises, and it's an escape because the world always was too slow for him, so Kid Flash thinks it's sort of funny that one glance at Jinx was enough to make him slow down and just look.
The next time they went to a carnival, the Titans noticed but carefully did not mention the fact that Beast Boy was staying far away from the house of mirrors.
He hadn't done a puzzle in years and had never done one with wide-eyed kittens and purple flowers on it but when Starfire held out the puzzle box to him, Robin happily cleared the table.
She was disguising herself as a damn bag lady, breaking at least sixteen intergalactic laws, and most importantly, risking her freedom and her life—but what Blackfire hated most about the situation was that the only reason she was on earth at all was because, deep down, she still felt some sisterly duty to make sure Starfire was okay.
Newspapers use all forms of flattery to describe them—brave, heroic, selfless, compassionate, amazing, brilliant—but if any of the Titans notice that everyone always skims over that one word, they never mention it.
As Victor, he went to church; now he's not so sure where he stands on the whole religion thing but when he looks at his friends and thinks about all they've survived together, he believes that there must be something going on.
"So, what's it for, anyway?" Beast Boy asks, brushing the tip of his finger against the red gem on her forehead, and Raven has to suppress a shiver.
After the defeat of the Brotherhood in Paris, two things stick out most in her mind—one: Kid Flash kissed her and it was her first kiss, and two: Cyborg saw.
"Beast Boy, for the last time—you do not know what 'savvy' means, you cannot pull off a swagger, and you are not Jack Sparrow!"
The Titans are relieved that the only building sustaining any real damage from the earthquake is their Tower but it's the people of Jump City—who readily provided the Titans with hot meals, warm beds, and anything else they needed, including comfort and encouraging words—that they are most thankful for.
In a way, it had been their weaknesses that brought them together—Starfire had been hoping to show Tamaran that she was every bit as regal as her sister, Robin had been determined to prove to himself by becoming the leading vigilante in a new city, Cyborg had been looking for people who wouldn't think of him as a freak, Raven had been trying to put as much distance between her and everything she was as she possibly could, and Beast Boy had simply been searching for a place to belong—but once they were together, the Titans couldn't help but feel invincible.
Batman always told him that he couldn't afford to let people get too close but one day, Robin wakes up and realizes that he needs the Titans because they're his friends, his family—and he doesn't give a damn what his old mentor thinks about that because he's not the Bat and he never will be.
They knew he wouldn't leave but that didn't stop a twinge of panic from spreading through the Titans when Beast Boy did not immediately reject the idea of leading Pantha, Herald, Jericho, and Argent on the newly formed Titans South.
"Who are you—Steroid Man?" Cyborg demands, ducking yet another punch from the bugling mass of muscles and rage, and only Robin recognizes the villain as the man who once caused the great Dark Knight to fall.
"I want you bad, bad, bad, bad, bad," the newly twenty-one-year-old Beast Boy drunkenly crooned into her ear, and as Raven helped him stumble to his room, she wasn't sure if she should want him to remember this in the morning or not.
Years after Starfire has disappeared, when Jump City is covered in snow and all he wants is to just forget the Titans—and most days, himself, too—Nightwing still keeps a framed photograph of five grinning teens beside his bed.
Azar may wonder where the young girl gets her quick, mildly scathing wit but Arella just hides a smile; Raven might be half-demon but her sense of humor is all Roth.
"Hey, Mom," Cyborg said, staring down at the plot, and he couldn't say anything else because the lump in his throat was too tight.
"Yes, you're very impressive," Raven commented dryly as she looked at the green minotaur in front of her, "now change back before a small child sees you and wets himself, and you get banned from the corn maze for another year."
"I know its our job and we're doing the right thing and everything—but don't y'all think that we should get some kind of bonus for saving mankind from the Brotherhood of Evil, since it's the second time in the last eighteen months that we've done that sort of thing?"
"During the filming of an unrelated story, our camera crew captured what appears to be new Bigfoot footage, although experts have noted that the creature was oddly green," said the reporter, and it was at this point that Robin felt a horrendous headache coming on.
He is known as the Boy Wonder, the World's Youngest Detective, and the leader of the Teen Titans—but there is nothing he can do to protect his friends from the sting of this tiny word.
"Uh…maybe someone should have explained that when Starfire was talking about her little bumgorf of joy, she didn't mean a baby," Beast Boy suggested as he watched Robin turn an interesting shade a purple while reading the latest newspaper article about the Teen Titans.
There is only one Titan who has ever terrified Slade because looking at the silent, blonde-haired young man is like seeing a phantom from the life that he once led—and then killed.
Raven was given a healing crystal for Christmas one year and Beast Boy likes to position it so that it catches the morning light and paints a small, colorful picture on her wall; she isn't sure why he does this but the tiny rainbows are far more pleasant to wake up to than her walls.
"You must think you're fooling someone," Cyborg informed Raven after the Azarathian cast one too many 'subtle' glances in Beast Boy's direction and his grin became even larger when a slight blush stained her carefully blank face, "and you so aren't."
"I do not know what the word you used means but it bothered my friend Cyborg greatly," Starfire informed the screeching man as she held him by the wrist and a few hundred feet about the city, "I trust you will not use it again."
Raven scowled down at the immobile Beast Boy and then returned her gaze to Robin before she demanded, "And just how was I supposed to know he had morphed into one of the kinds that faint?"
"Um, Rob, there's a British dude at the door and he wants to speak with a Master Richard about the mess in the Common Room…"
She didn't let herself cry after the HIVE discovered who he really was, and when he learns this, he doesn't know if that should make him feel better or worse.
The team long ago grew used to hearing Beast Boy extol the virtues of eating soy products but when Starfire starts talking about the dangers of foods with high fructose corn syrup in them, the Titans start to get a little freaked out.
The Titan guys have all been on the receiving ends of their girlfriends' tempers but Beast Boy snorted when he heard their stories and said, "Hey, when she's mad, Rae's got four eyes and they're all for me."
Robin didn't know if it was a blow to his masculinity or not but having Starfire protect him from his more…enthusiastic fangirls at least kept him from having to return to the Tower with only his mask and the tattered remnants of his cape to cover himself up with.
They have lost battles before but never one like this—and now, in a perverse sign of conquest, a villain uses Cyborg's metal chest as armor and wears Beast Boy's fang on a necklace.
"Sometimes…I wish I was someone else," they had each admitted aloud but only when no one else was around to hear.
They could never be sure what Slade actually was—a megalomaniac with sociopathic tendencies or a sociopath with delusions of grandeur—but one thing had always been clear: the man was out of his mind.
"Is this the part where we pretend that everything is under control and we know what we're doing?" Beast Boy whispered and winced when Raven elbowed him while Cyborg simply sighed, wondering why he had ever thought that mentoring the new generations of Titans would be a piece of cake.
Cyborg growled, "For the last time, we are not los…ahhhh, hell, does that sign say 'Nowhere Road'?"
"You can tell me anything, Star," he promised, giving her hand a warm squeeze and looking at her so earnestly that she almost told him everything—but then she stopped, remembering every dark day in the Citadel and knowing that there are some secrets that are not meant to be shared.
When he heard the sound of electric wires shorting out and a horrified voice screaming "El televisión!", Speedy groaned and decided that teaching Mas and Menos to shoot his bow had not been such a good idea, after all.
"It's not that I'm holding on, Jinx," Cyborg says, gently catching her wrists before she can hex him—or worse, walk away, "I never let go."
She will be patient for him, because he needs time to understand that these feelings are not things to be feared or pushed away, but she hopes Robin realizes that her heart will not wait for him forever.
At least once a week, she tells him that he is the most infuriating, idiotic creature she has ever come into contact with but he always laughs and says, "Yeah, but you love me anyway, right?"
Having Jinx around made him slightly uncomfortable but once he noticed the way tension filled a room whenever Cyborg, Jinx, and Kid Flash occupied one together, Robin decided he had bigger problems than just sheltering a hopefully reformed criminal.
It's the hardest thing he's ever had to say to them but with one glance back at his new family, Beast Boy knows what he has to do so he says, "Mento, thanks for the offer but…I am home."
"I am truly sorry, friend," Starfire says earnestly, handing a disgruntled Beast Boy a towel, "I have seen cartoons where the comedian is pummeled by various rotting fruit so I believed it was an acceptable gesture…but at least Raven is laughing, yes?"
Jericho is well aware of who his father is—the family resemblance is actually very striking but no one would know that since Slade never takes off his mask—but he tries not to let it bother him; it's what he does that matters, and he is not his father.
He supposes he should take it as some kind of compliment that she always comes to him first when testing out her latest concoction but sometimes—like after he ate that rhubarb custard thing and his tongue swelled—Beast Boy really does think Raven is just looking for a creative way to poison him.
Beast Boy had always figured dead was dead but Kid Eternity actually smiled, "One of your teammates is the daughter of one of the universe's more powerful demons, she can move through dimensions and has already journeyed to hell herself—with a friend like that, did you actually expect to stay dead?"
"Okay, you primitive screwhead, its time to back off 'cause this…is my boomstick!" Cyborg shouts, displaying his sonic cannon, and he really wishes Beast Boy was here to see Krall taking a few nervous steps back.
"I was unaware that such a term could be used as one of affection," Starfire remarks but she is smiling as she watches Raven both berate and fuss over a bruised and bloody Beast Boy.
A street corner evangelist once pronounced her a "soulless, hell-spawn succubus" because she's the daughter of a demon and even though the words stung a little more than she would ever admit, Raven did take comfort in the fact that a furious green wolf chased the portly man six blocks and then up a telephone pole.
"You two are never allowed to play Truth or Dare again," Robin snarled as Raven removed the hook from Beast Boy's lip, and Cyborg had to admit that the Boy Wonder probably had a point—daring Beast Boy to spend a day as a fish was kind of dumb—but really, how were they supposed to know that today was Jump City's annual Fish-a-thon?
Robin remembers that coin and that face—because no one could ever, ever forget the disfigured face of Harvey Dent—and he just prays he can think of a way to get his team out of this before the coin returns to the man's hand.
"'Dear Mr. Robin, we would like to inform you that the Teen Titans official website is exceeding its provider's bandwidth and…'" Robin pauses in his reading to look up at his equally bewildered teammates. "…we have a website?"
It actually didn't surprise Jinx that Starfire was the first of the original Titans to welcome her; what did surprise her was just how hard the Tamaranian could hug.
"Ding Dong…Daddy?" Cyborg asked before shaking his head in disgust, "Man, the sixties called and they want their lame name back."
They're spread throughout the world and have gone for weeks without hearing from anyone else—but on New Years Eve, Cyborg, Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy re-synchronize their watches back to the time in Jump City, and at midnight, each raises a water bottle in one toast, "To my friends."
There are many things about earth that she does not understand but when Starfire looks at the still form under the sheet, she doubts she will ever be able to fathom how something so small could take away something as great as a life.
"You overestimate your ability to charm, Flash," she'll tell him but one sheepish expression and earnest smile later, Jinx knows she's already half forgiven him.
Beast Boy and Starfire have been going up to the roof almost every night for a month now and although Raven and Robin are starting to get suspicious and maybe even a tiny bit jealous, Cyborg knows what the pair is doing; he just hopes that the stars are listening.
One had brooded and raged alone for several weeks while the other had destroyed the equivalent of an entire department store's worth of china and maybe even shed a few tears but in the end, Robin and Raven were forced to accept it because Beast Boy and Starfire were happy, really and truly happy together, and that would have to be enough…even if it wasn't.
Her English class read Hamlet and she wishes she had read it about eighteen months ago because then the prince's monologue about being and not being and making that choice would not be keeping her awake at night.
"Robin, exactly what is this 'shipping' and why are people so insistent upon doing it?"
"Come on, Lar—every kid wants to be a hero," Robotman said but when Negative Man looked at the nine-year-old changeling and thought about how easily the boy could smile, he wondered if it wasn't the other way around.
There's a lot about science that she finds uninteresting—and why wouldn't she, when most of the facts that make up her life cannot be explained by even the most in-depth research and experiments—but when Beast Boy asks her to go with him to a seminar on the discoveries of Drs. Mark and Marie Logan, Raven does not hesitate to agree.
Brother Blood and his minions are tearing the city apart, they are hiding out in a morgue, and Raven cannot believe that, of all moments, she chose this one to kiss Beast Boy—but she feels a little less embarrassed when he laughs somewhat breathlessly and says, "Well, inappropriately timed kisses are all the rage right now…"
There's a rather high pitched scream and a series of crashes coming from the bathroom but Cyborg doesn't seem to mind; instead, he flips another page in Cars Weekly and mutters, "Serves Gel Head right for putting a scale in the boys' bathroom…spiky-haired idiot shoulda known I was going to tamper with that…"
This is wrong and he feels like he's betraying his friends, not just their trust, but when the Chesire mask lifts and its just Jade smirking at him—well, Speedy knows he's too far in to go back now.
The other Titans all just thought that he was very aware of his surroundings; they had no idea that he was always on the lookout for a flash of pink hair.
Mammoth takes all of two seconds to look at the large tub of water and various shampoos, and he almost makes it back out the door before the other members of the HIVE Five pounce on him.
There are many things she won't tell him and Kid Flash accepts that—because when you're with a girl like Jinx, pushing for more will only end in angry words and hexes—but its hard sometimes, especially when he wonders how many secrets Cyborg knows that he doesn't.
It might have been the blood loss or maybe even his concussion but Robin thought that there was something symbolic about the fact that the only reason he wasn't face-first on the ground was because Starfire was holding him up.
Beast Boy is often annoyed that the other Titans are skeptical about his driving skills and he points out that Raven trusts him on the road—he just neglects to mention it's because she's already informed him that if he gets her killed, she's coming back to haunt him.
"Fine, we'll make a deal," Raven said to a disapproving Robin, "You don't ask what Beast Boy is doing in my room every night, and I won't pull Starfire aside for 'girl talk' to find out exactly why she walked out of your room this morning."
She knew she would shove them all away from any number of reasons—but she would never, ever forget that he was always the first to reach back out to her.
The Doom Patrol is dead, they're dead and they're not coming back, and he's been left alone again—only he's not, because when his knees give, the Titans are there to catch him and hug him close until the world no longer feels like its ending.
Although it was tempting, Starfire decided against waking the boys at four in the morning since it would not only have been inconsiderate but also she did not want Raven to miss the expressions on the male Titans' faces when they discovered that all their high scores had been beaten by someone using the alias KORI.
"Beast Boy, there is no such thing as a leoplorodon," Robin sighed—but then, he had a harder time believing that a second later, when a large, green leoplorodon warbled at him.
1. A reference to The Offspring's song "Want You Bad". Very fun song, and there's even some cool BB/Rae fanart on under the same name.
2. A tiny reference to a line in Anberlin's song "Dismantle.Repair.", and if ever there was a Cy/Jinx song, that one is it.
3. All you guys (and I'm sure a few girls, too, but hey, this is one of the ultimate guy movies) out there should know this one. If not, Bruce Campbell is going to be very disappointed.
4. If you don't know what I'm referring to, go to youtube and type in Charlie the Unicorn. Or you will be shuuuuuuuunnnnnned.