While my other Genma short is not completely necessary to read to fully enjoy Peaceful Waters, this one probably is. So please enjoy and as always R&R!
Genma sat alone in his apartment. He didn't know how long he had been there. He didn't really care. It all seemed like some horrible joke. It was as though fate and his destiny, everything he had run from and fought against and studied for was fruitless. He was caught in the tidal wave of certain doom and despair that he just knew he would never escape from.
He hadn't had a choice in the matter, he told himself over and over. He was too young. Too stupid. Hell he was only fifteen when he found out and he was only sixteen now. What the fuck could he do about it. But he knew that for the lie that it was. He wasn't some spoiled civilian brat, he was already a tokubetsu jonin. He was training, almost completely trained to take on the most adult of missions. Hell he'd already had a few. He'd been gone on one with Kakashi and Anko when it had happened. The fucking Kyuubi attacking. He had gotten his tattoo right? He had made up his mind. He was going to do it. Be the fucking best bad ass one in the world. It didn't matter that he was only fifteen and she was 27. She obviously didn't care. She used him after all to get what she wanted. She told him it was his choice.
But it wasn't his choice. He didn't get to choose at all because no matter what he decided his fate had already chosen the path and it ended with her death and his loss.
That god damn mother fucking bitch ass bastard cunt Danzou said it wasn't his. There was no proof and she hadn't named him as the one. How the hell could she have? She'd had her throat ripped out by a backlash from the Kyuubi's tail. Even if it was, who was he any way? A bastard with nothing to his name and a job that he probably chose just so he could whore around. Danzou told him all this. Said that he knew what was in the best interest of his niece and her family.
Genma had been stunned at her death. Maybe Danzou was right. Could he be sure? And who was he really. A whore's bastard son. A dead whore's fucking missing nin's bastard good for nothing no talent whore of a son. He'd actually managed to convince himself that it was for the best. Most horribly of all he'd felt a bit of relief about being spared the responsibility of it all. He decided to continue with the training he'd just had a taste of at the time. He put all of himself into studying and learning every technique. How to precisely control his own body and somebody else's. He know knew poisons better than almost anyone except Shizune and no one could do what he did with a senbon but he was more than skilled with others as well. He knew he'd never be a full jonin but tokubetsu was nothing to sneeze at either.
But it was all pointless. A waste of goddamn time and effort. He was useless.
Genma took out a couple packs of cigarettes he kept in his vest and began chain smoking. If he was going to be like his father he might as well complete the picture.
"I actually had myself convinced it wasn't me," he said breathing out the smoke, his hand trembling as he brought it back to his lips for another draw.
After today there was no doubt about it. He had gone by a section of the ANBU barracks after completing his mission. He wanted to find Kakashi and tell him all about his mission since it wasn't classified and see if he wanted to go meet Raidou to go get some food. He hadn't seen much of the kid since he joined ANBU after the Kyuubi attack. He had completely muted his chakra so he could surprise his friend. Nothing thrilled him like being able to sneak up on an ANBU member, especially when it was his best friend.
That horribly fated day he had heard young children's cries from a room in the building. Genma thought that odd because ANBU was certainly no place for children. He followed the sounds idly chewing a senbon, and peaked though a door that was slightly ajar, not even daring to try to identify the chakra inside. It was well disguised and the slightest effect would have notified whoever was in there that there was a peeking Tom outside. He moved so that he could see inside the room then gasped not caring who saw. In fact he was planning on making himself very visible. There in the middle of the room were several very young children, but there was one in particular that caught his eye.
Genma rushed in against all logic and training. charging for the child trying to scoop him up in his arms. He was stopped almost immediately by two masked ANBU gripping him by either arm. He struggled violently using every dirty trick he knew including shooting his senbon into the thigh of the guy holding him on the right, earning him a severe kidney punch.
"THAT'S MY SON!" Genma chocked out hysterically stretching towards a small white haired boy about a year and a half old.
The instant he saw him he knew. He looked just like Genma had looked as a child, just as Genma had looked just like his good for nothing father. His chakra flared toward the boy who had been crying and stopped suddenly when he turned to see Genma. Even at that tender age Genma could tell he shared his own special abilities with chakra. Their chakra sought each other blending like nothing he had felt before, it was like a missing piece of himself. This was his boy, he knew it unconditionally, there was no doubt. To Genma it might as well have been tattooed on the child's forehead.
He was smiling and crying looking at the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Genma didn't remember that he had ever cried except when his mother was killed. It didn't even register that there were tears leaking down his face in front of ANBU.
"That boy is my son! Give him to me! NOW! I want to hold him! He's mine! I have a boy!" Genma was screaming frantically pulling with all his might against his captors.
The ANBU holding him relaxed their grip slightly in shock as they looked at each other through their masks.
The ANBU tried talking to him, "These are all orphaned children, they have no family."
"He does!" Genma shouted shifting impossibly so that he was finally able to escape the ANBU and fly towards his son.
He had a son and he was beautiful. He was a fucking dad, he had to get his kid out of there. He had almost been able to touch him. He had been so close his hand got within millimeters of the child before everything went black.
He found himself hog-tied on his sofa in his house with the lights off. He quickly released himself and was about to transport away, to where he didn't know when he suddenly felt someone transport into the room with him.
"Danzou," Genma breathed not knowing what to say.
Then quickly his mind came back. "Where is he? I don't even know his name!"
"He doesn't have a name and he does not belong to you Shiranui, he belongs to Konoha," Danzou replied quietly stern.
"Of course he-" Genma began but Danzou cut him off.
"My niece left no word of the father of that boy," Danzou started, "If there was going to be a paternity test it would have had to been right after the child was born. You made no official effort to claim him."
"You said-!" Genma started angrily.
"You have no claim on him," Danzou continued unfazed. "He is not yours."
"Even if he was, what and who are you?" Danzou sneered arrogantly beneath his facial coverings, "That child will be ANBU before he's ten. What can you provide for him? You can't watch him, you have no family, no wife, you're friends are all ninja. You're just a teenaged whore, sleeping with anyone on or off a mission. How would you even watch him, you don't know how to do anything but be a ninja or a slut, and you'll only ever qualify as a tokubetsu at best. I don't want to see you snooping around ANBU again Shiranui. You must never mention that child to anyone or attempt to make contact with him again or I'll make sure you regret it. "
With that he flashed out of the apartment leaving sixteen year old Genma in the dark.
"FUCK!" Genma suddenly began screaming throwing down his cigarette butt and clutching his hitai-ate, pulling fistfuls of hair as he screamed reliving the events.
"NONONONONONONONO!" He shrieked loosing it altogether and going ballistic. It was all his fault he should have fought for the boy when he was just born. Now it was too late and Danzou was right. He was nothing. He was just a slut with a big dick. He had nothing to offer anyone especially a child. He couldn't even take care of himself.
His rage blinded him but didn't stop him from suddenly destroying everything he could get his hands on. His chakra began to pulse out erratically allowing anyone who was sensitive to such things to sense it as blinding flashes of power crackling around him. He was completely out of control. He had broken.
Words weren't even enough, he let out a primal scream gripping a kunai he didn't even realize he had and began slashing his furniture, cutting his books. He moved in wild abandon destroying anything he saw. He tore into his bedroom and upended his bed, throwing it fiercly against the opposite wall and cutting it deeply with his kunai. He ripped into his pillow sending feathers flying through the room. He finally threw the kunai through a picture of him and his genin team, wanting to hit and kick with his hands and feet. He needed to feel the force. He needed to feel the pain to make sure he was even still here on this planet. He felt completely disconnected from reality like he was drowning in heated sorrow.
He sensed without effort the flares of chakra transporting themselves into his room and he attacked them wanting to kill, not caring they were his best friends or that they were probably here to help him. He let his animal brain dominate him, unleashing his fury.
"Genma!" Kakashi cried ducking a savage punch.
"Genma!" Raidou called trying to bring some sense back the raging teen as he dodged a volley of senbon thrown at him.
Whirling Genma saw his reflection in the mirror that had miraculously survived the destruction of his room. He froze in front of it for a spine tingling moment, radiating wild
"Genma?" Raidou called out softly reaching his hand out softly and began to walk towards his friend.
"If I'm going to be my father I might as look the part!" Genma cried horribly laughing hysterically, completely ignoring his two best friends. Before either Raidou or Kakashi could move Genma had a wakizashi in his hand. He ripped his hitai-ate off and pulled his long dirty blond hair straight up by the ponytail cutting it at the tie.
His hair which had been down to his mid back in length now fell forward to just past his chin.
"Still not fucking short enough! You fucking useless whore!" he screamed to the mirror dropping his short swod.
He punched the mirror with all his force shattering it instantly and cracking the cinderblocks that made up the wall behind it.
"Stupid useless shit!" he berated himself screaming.
He grabbed the wall and smashed his head violently into it, blood instantly ran done his face from his scalp running into his eyes and mouth as he continued trying to crack his skull. He punched the wall as hard as he could over and over. He felt the skin on his hands rip and he felt the bones in his hand fracture and convulse in pain but he didn't stop. At least the pain was real. He deserved it. His boy was lost to him forever and it was all his fault. He'd grow up not knowing his father just like he had. And just like him, his father would be a stupid thoughtless ninja that didn't do shit for him and only caused him pain. Maybe someday he would come to kill Genma for being such a shit just like Genma wanted to kill his own father.
"At least I didn't kill your mother!" He cried out as if asking for forgivness. Begging for relief from the guilt and sadness that was maddening him. He pressed his bleeding aching head against the wall and leaned into it crying hard.
Raidou , Kakashi, and now Gai and Asuma who had just arrived rushing through the door all stood frozen at the scene. They had heard and seen people breaking before, but they had never seen it in such a close friend and totally unexpectedly. As far as any of them knew, Genma's life was going well. No friends lost recently, They were able to hang out occasionally and swap stories. His missions were completed successfully and the hokage had nothing but praise for his service. And besides, Genma was always so cool, so confident. A fairly easy going guy that could always make you laugh or at least groan. The four friends never would have expected this in a million years.
Kakashi sobered up first, not knowing what caused this reaction but knowing what had to be done. He ran up to Genma intending to knock him out and take him to the hospital when Genma twirled with hitherto before unknown speed against the ANBU squad leader with wild unseeing eyes coated in blood.
"FUCKING ANBU!"Genma screamed. He kicked and punched and hit and cried as Kakashi dodged quickly glancing at Raidou and the rest for help subduing their friend without further injuring him.
Raidou and Kakashi covered Genma's front and back and Asuma and Gai took either side going at him at once and pinning him between them firmly holding him still.
"Genma! Damn it, your hands have to be broken! Stop trying to punch us!" Raidou pleaded.
"It doesn't fucking matter! Let me go! Let me go! I hate you! Leave me the fuck alone!" Genma screamed still trying to move with all four of them holding him.
"Genma-san!" Gai called loudly to him even though he was within three feet of everyone in the room, "Please! The beauty of youth-"
At this, to everyone's complete surprise Genma just collapsed bonelessly. He was still conscious but it was as if he had given up completely. He sobbed, quiet deep, bone wrenching sobs, his chakra completely out of control and fluxuating wildly. That worried the group even more then the fighting had. Genma always had superb chakra control.
"We need to take him to the hospital. Now," Kakashi told them.
Nodding in agreement, they teleported straight there startling the on duty nurse at the desk.
"Teenagers! Use the doors! You can't just teleport in here unless it's an emergency you could seriously disturb . . ." she trailed off spotting the bloody mess sobbing between them.
"Did you all have a fight!" she asked rushing around the desk to get to them trying to see who was injured.
"Just Genma. He's having a nervous breakdown," Asuma told her fingering the pocket where he kept his smokes.
"Asuma and I were walking by his place discussing a certain genjutsu user in the spring time of her-" Gai started.
"Genma's chakra went crazy so we figured we better check it out." Asuma cut in bluntly.
"I don't know what's wrong with him," Raidou told the nurse as she tried to get Genma to acknowledge her presence. "He was fine earlier today, and we were going to get Kakashi here and go eat."
"He never came to find me. I was already on my way to chew him out when I felt his chakra explode. He did that slamming his head against a cement wall," Kakashi informed the nurse as she inspected his messy bloody head.
She pulled his eyelids up checking his pupils and hissed shortly running over to her desk and pressing a button.
"He's really hurt his head badly we need to take care of this so he doesn't have any brain damage. He did all of this to himself?" the nurse asked coming back over and running her hands over him looking for other injuries. When she got to his hands she flinched.
"Has he been depressed lately? Had a bad mission, lost anyone?" the nurse asked as she checked him over.
At this Genma's eyes filled with pain and he let out a horrible strangled cry and started to push himself away from the nurse.
"Get away, leave me alone!" He slurred rolling away from her. He was so dizzy and his head was throbbing but he didn't care. He tried to push himself up with his broken hands but his left arm wouldn't support him anymore and he crashed down onto the cold tiled floor.
"I don't want to wait for him to kill me. I'll do it! I'll do it!" He cried hysterically.
The nurse looked up at his friends in question as she gripped his shoulders keeping him relatively still as he rocked back and forth.
"I have no idea!" Raidou said frantically looking at Gai, Asuma and Kakashi for help.
"Gai you went on his last mission with him was there somebody after him?" Asuma asked.
"No, it was an escort mission only C rank. We didn't even have any trouble! We delivered them home and came straight back. In fact we raced, and didn't stop for anyone. I won," Gai answered too disturbed by the mess that was Genma to give his traditional thumbs up.
The doctors and nurses that the front desk nurse had called for finally arrived at this point and restrained the still thrashing Genma and strapped him to a gurney.
"He's had a breakdown, we need to put him on suicide watch," The nurse informed them as they rolled him still fighting and crying into the hospital.
Asuma, Raidou, Gai and Kakashi stood there bewildered watching not knowing what to do now.
"Will he . . . Is he going to be ok?" Raidou asked.
"His injuries will be fine. Despite all the blood they weren't too serious, You boys got him here in good time so his head should be fine," the nurse told them heading back to her desk.
"But he's freaking out, what about . . ." Kakashi asked trailing off.
"We'll take care of him. You can come by tomorrow to see how he's doing ok?" The nurse told them, "He'll need his friends if he's going to get better."
"Alright," Asuma answered for them nudging Gai and Kakashi as he turned to leave.
"We'll come back tomorrow," Raidou called as they got to the doors.
"Yeah. We'll be here Genma, don't worry," Kakashi said quietly glancing back down the hospital corridors.
He was the only one who really knew anything about Genma's father. Well him and the hokage and some higher officials. Genma never wanted to discuss it and Kakashi didn't blame him. He didn't like thinking about his father either, if for different reasons.
"I'm going to go talk to dad,"Asuma said after walking silently with them for awhile.
"You're going to tell the hokage about Genma?" Raidou asked stunned.
"Well he is my dad," Asuma replied annoyed, "He might know something that can help Genma. He knows about Genma's past after all, maybe he knows why he's freaking out because nothing that's happened recently should have upset him like that."
"I'll go with you," Kakashi agreed, "Gai, Raidou, why don't you go home. We'll meet at the hospital tomorrow afternoon ok guys?"
"I'll go tell Anko and Kurenai," Raidou said quietly, "They may want to come too."
"I'll tell Ebisu and Aoba," Gai replied giving the thumbs up and running off.
"Right, see you tomorrow," Kakashi said waving towards Raidou as he flashed off with Asuma.
"Tomorrow," Raidou said to himself.
Ok there will be one more chapter to this one and that's it for this section. The rest should all be able to be completed in Peaceful Waters. Please let me know how you guys think it's going.