The NewRageInc has decided to make another crack fic!!!! since it's been so long and since Sasuke has been playing on my mind a lot. (and he's all mysterious and such) that I decided to make him the CRAZY!!! one. Enjoy.
Let's Make A Cake
Sasuke stared at the nothing-ness in front of him. He was bored. Like some sort of lazy cat that can't seem to get enough stimulation. What do lazy cats do to spend their days anyway? Why they eat, don't they. He used his super, crazy, awesome ninja skills to sneak around the village. Why? Why not?!
"Hey... Naruto!" He yelled out smirking a crazy, super, awesome smirk. Just like he would cause he's totally in character and such. "I wanna make a cake. Help me make the most super, crazy, awesome, ninja, pirate, wizard, cheese shaped cake." He nodded while saying this because you have to nod when you say a sentence like that.
Naruto stared at him, he didn't feel like making a ninja, pirate, whatever the hell he was talking about. He was obviously being brainwashed by some sort of alien device. Of course! It all makes so much sense now, the aliens must have gotten to him when he was sleeping and implanted some sort of evil cake making device in his brain. When the blonde ninja came to this conclusion, he knew that they must fight.
"Sasuke, I am going to save your life by killing you!" He lunged toward him but then he fell asleep. Sasuke looked at the clock. It was two, time for nap time. How could he be so silly, he almost forgot about nap time! No. There was no time for nap time, he would just have to make his crazy, awesome cake on his own.
Sasuke ran to the super market, it's good that it was Monday cause that thing only opened on Monday except on Christmas and sausage day. Using his super cool ninja skills, again, he ran around cooing like an owl. Perfect, no one would suspect that he was only their for milk and flower and fish and other things you use in a crazy awesome cake. He gathered his ingredients and was soon standing in front of the cash register. Cash. He forgot his wallet. Oh no! The quickly before they suspect.
"Uh... NO. No. Don't you see that all of these items I've chosen are on sale! They're 100 off!" He smiled sweetly, which caused the cashier to faint. Damn. He forgot to wear that sign around his neck again. You know, the surgeon general sign? The one that says that pregnant women, and women with heart conditions should probably not look at Sasuke for too long? Yeah, they gave it to him a year ago when they proclaimed his sexy-ness to be a health hazard.
He ran out of the super market and then he forgot where he lived. 'Maybe if I take a left, no that's a cliff. Damn it!' he was so frustrated, the day was almost over and he just had to finish this cake. Then he stared at the house in front of him.
"Sakura! I need to borrow your kitchen!" He shoved through the door and began taking out ingredients. He needed to break some eggs, gut the fish, season the ham, un-sour the milk. Sakura blinked.
"Sasuke, what are you...doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing! I'm making a cake obviously. pfft."
"But ... then ... why are you seasoning a ham?" He was truly getting fed up with his. He turned to look at her and then he kissed her. She gasped.
"It's not the same." He began to season the ham with one hand and then un-sour the milk with the other. "This cake is for super, crazy, awesome cake day and if I don't make it in time, we will all explode. And no, not the sexy explode, the un-sexy exploding where everyone dies."
"Oh..." This meant they had to act at super cool ninja speed! ( why do I keep saying that)
In a flash, they were finished. It was perfect. By this time, Naruto had already come by, saying that it didn't look perfect. The cake that is not perfect.
"Well, since you think it is not a master piece, you have to eat it first Naruto." Sakura cut out a slice and handed it to him. He only grunted and took a bite.
"Well?" They both came closer to him in anticipation.
"It's perfect, wonderful." Hooray, super, awesome, crazy cake day was saved.
Two weeks later, Naruto died of fatal food poisoning.
Yeah, tell me what you think. LOL