I'm back. :3 I love angst. Let's get this ball rolling. Reviews are mucho appreciated, as always.
Previously: I glared, and he looked down at me, and then kissed my forehead. "I like you, Kyle." "I like you too, Stan. BFF's. Duh." I said, trying to sound funny. But, Stan was solemn. His eyes looked my face over "No, Kyle." My eyes widened. NO. "I really like you." I blacked out for the second time of my life.
My eyelids fluttered open. What was with me and blacking out lately? Could I even call myself a man anymore? Stan was hovering over me, with a pained look on his face. He touched my cheek, pulled back my bangs and felt my forehead. "You're burning up," he stated, biting his lip. His eyes wavered, never left my face. I sat up, and groaned. He didn't embrace me the way Kenny had when I first blacked out. Suddenly tears rushed to my eyes at the mere thought of Kenny. "K-kyle?" Stan asked inquisitively, his face too close to mine. I let out a sigh.
"I'm fine, Stan." I said, though I was not sure myself. Kenny was off with Shania, and Stan had just...Ohgod. My head spun, and I fell into Stan's chest. He tensed, and stroked my hair. His fingers undid tangles, and made me sleepy. "Stan, you have to be lying." I said in all seriousness. Stan chuckled, and I shivered. Stan was never one to be serious around me; but I could sense the change in his attitude now. It was solemn, serious, and refined. So unlike Kenny who was loud, blatant, and an overall jackass. Stan lifted my face with both hands, I was too weak to protest what came next.
I've learned that sometimes life is hard, and we must surrender. Even if it is against our better judgement. Stan kissed me again. Hard, passionate and long. His lips bruised mine, made them tingle with numbness. I fell back to the floor, once more, body melting as Stan pressed his chiseled body to mine, and his arms held my hands roughly above my head. I was sure he would bruise my wrists, but at that moment nothing mattered. If Kenny could be off galavanting with...HER..why could I not kiss my best friend?
The thought completely turned me off. I pushed Stan back, or as much as I could. "What is it?" he asked sternly. I licked my lips, and sighed.
"I can't do this, Stan."
"I love Kenny. And, he loves me..." the words felt heavy. Almost untrue at this point. Stan slammed his fist into his dresser. I jumped, frightened.
"He doesn't! He's cheating on you! What kind of a lover would abandon you like that? For a woman he barely knows? Do you think he even realizes how lucky he is to have you, Kyle?!" Stan's words hurt like hell, and I couldn't stop him. "Can you even begin to fathom how horribly he will break you? He will fuck your life up, Kyle. He will fuck you till you cannot move, then leave you like some forgotten child's play thing." Tears fell down my cheek. I couldn't take much more.
My heart was breaking. Stan grabbed my wrists, his eyes alive with passion. He pulled me to him, so I sat in his lap. His eyes shook as he pressed his lips to mine once more. "I can show you what love is, Kyle! You don't deserve to just be his little toy.." this last statement was in a whisper, and then he let go of my wrists. I wanted to move, but I was stuck. Stan was my best friend in the entire world; I knew he was looking out for my best interest, but this was the wrong way to go about it. He was becoming frusterated with me. I could not stop crying, or wishing Kenny was here.
"I can't stop loving him.."
"Fine," Stan snapped, and I sulked out of the room like a beaten dog.
I could not concentrate all day. School was in fast forward, and everyone in it was too. Kenny looked apathetically at me, but I didn't even look back, or say anything. I hustled to my next class, not waiting for him outside the door. Stan patted me on the back, and I knew we were okay for now. I smiled back at him best I could. "You look famished, Kyle," he stated as we went to lunch that day.I couldn't eat, and my eyes wandered the lunch room for Kenny. He appeared at our table, brow furrowed and looking a bit flustered.
"May I speak with you, Kyle?" he asked, shortly. I flinched at the tone of his voice.
"Y-yeah," I stammered, then grabbing me by the hand he dragged me to the restroom. Kenny made it so the door could not be opened, and suddenly picked me up nad placed me on the sink. I kept his hands around my waist in a tight embrace. I looked into his pure, crystal eyes. My heart was in my throat, it made it hard to swallow.
He leaned in and kissed me. It was sweet, and so Kenny. The taste of smoke, and the smell of his cheap cologne filled my nostrils, and alerted my senses. One of his strong hands went up my back gently, and tangled itself in my hair. I moaned, he smiled against my lips.
"God Kyle," he moaned. Hearing his voice, whispered against my skin, in this stolen moment... It drove me mad. My whole body was on fire from his touches. All my senses were sharpened, my brain was mush. Had he asked me my name, I would have drawn a blank. I was lost in this ecstasy when..
I pulled back, suddenly angry and all emotion zapped. "You were with Shania last night." It was a statement, not a question. And, apparently, one that caught Kenny off guard. His eyes flickered dangerously as he tried to come up with an answer. "Don't try to cover it up. I heard her.." Kenny let go of me and backed up, running his fingers through his blonde locks. "Why?" I asked, my voice so venemous that he could probably feel it.
"Like hell! Don't lie to me." I was choking, nearly in tears. He stared at me.
"I told you we had an open relationship."
"I thought you loved me! Was everything a lie??" I was getting hysterical, but something in me would not let this cease.
"N-no, Kyle. I told you I would hurt you."
"So soon?" my voice shook.
Kenny bit his lip, and defiance was in his eyes. Did he see nothing wrong? His eyes became cold, and he chuckled lowly. "I told you. I FUCKING TOLD YOU KYLE! Don't you dare turn this on me. We had an agreement; open relationship. I can't always just focus on you, Kyle." he scoffed, and began to turn away like we were done. "Grow up, Kyle. Jesus." with that he left. If I had been more assertive it would not have ended there. Kenny McCormick would not have walked out. We would have kissed, and hugged and he would have said, I'm sorry I love you. But, no.
He just walked away.
I had to cry to someone, and that someone was Stan. Although I felt a tiny bit uncomfortable around Stan, he was the best shoulder I had to cry on. He understood my plights, and he was always there. I caught him before last period, and he told me I could come over again tonight if I needed to. A sweet gesture, but I was sure that if I spent the night we wouldn't just talk. Last period flittered by, Kenny didn't show up which did not surprise me. I sulked to the parking lot to meet Stan, then we would walk home. I sat down on the curb, and drew little figures in the snow.
So many things were on my mind. I saw a shadow, and turned. Shania was standing there, glaring at me. "Like, can I ask you something?" her voice irritated me. I take back what I said, she was not hot. She was a foul, disgusting, homewrecking whore. Hands on her hips, perfect lip glossed lips pursed in irritation she didn't wait for my answer, "Like, where's Kenny? I know you said something to him." I narrowed my eyes. Why would I help her? "I know your not dumb. C'mon. I haven't, like, got all day." she snapped, making me flinch.
"I don't know. We had a fight."
"Ugh. Gee, thanks. Now he won't be in the mood at all." she said, then clomped off in the opposite direction. I did the only thing I could think of: stuck my tongue out at her. Stan came out of the school soon after, breathless, and looking flustered. I didn't ask why at the moment, I didn't care. He sat down besideme, put a friendly arm around my shoulder and laid his head on my shoulder.
"People will think we're lovers," I said.
"M'kay." he cooed, and I could feel his smile. Why was Stan so queer sometimes, I thought but the smile would not be hidden. "Ready to go? My mom said it was alright again, I told her you were having school trouble," he bashfully said as we rose to go to his car. My fingertips were numb, and nothing was registering. Stan didn't try to make me talk. He couldn't. We sat in silence all the way to his house, then all the way up to his room. "Man, you look like someone died." he commented, shutting his door and locking it.
I mumbled incoherently as I plopped face first into his pillow. "Kenny and I had a fight. I called him out," I said softly. Stan sat on the edge of his bed, to give me space, while I rambled. I told him how Kenny had just walked away, and how torn I was, and about Shania's confrontation. Stan nodded, and didn't say much until I asked for his opinion. Slowly he crept upand laid beside me. His face was way too close. His breath was grazing my face, making me blush a little. This had never bothered me before, I thought. He closed his eyes and bit his lip before he spoke.
"I really don't think Kenny is right for you. I mean Kenny is our friend, dude, don't get me wrong. But, I will defend you before anyone else," this touched me, "He is going to tear you apart. He will apologize, and you will forgive him." I wanted to say something, but Stan interjected. "He will love you like no other, then the next time he hurts you, you will cry to me. I will help you- always- and then you will go back. Kyle, he will treat you like a puppet. His little plaything." I stopped him there.
"I know," I whispered.
Stan hissed, "Then why let him do it?"
"B-because all I want is a chance."
"You think you can reform a bad boy like Kenny? You have another thing coming to you," Stan's words were more than venemous. I flinched, every word was like pins and needles. He was right, I wanted to reform Kenny. Deep inside I wanted to make him all mine, but Kenny was an uncontrollable beast. Still, I couldn't give up. Giving up was not a posibility. And Kenny was worth everything, I thought. Stan couldn't realize that, and that meant he never would. Stan looked frusterated as I gave a small smile. He groaned, putting his face in his palm. "You'll really go to Kenny, over me?" I bit my lip, and looked , he rolled over, so his back was to me, and wished me luck.
I smiled, and hugged him. His heartbeat sped up. Stan Marsh was the single greatest person on Earth. "You know how much you mean to me, Stan," I said into his back, and inhaled his scent deeply. He sighed, "Yeah." He turned, kissed my forehead then announced he was hungry and left. I was about to get up when I heard a tapping on Stan's window. Outside was a flustered looking Kenny McCormack, rage flaring in his eyes, and his lips pursed tightly like he couldn't beleive what he had seen..
"K-kenny!" I said, and he scoffed and turned to leave. Shit. I had to run after him, hopefully Stan would understand.
TA DA I SUCKKKKKKKKKKKK.