When you try your best but you don't
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.
Sasuke's eyes snapped open suddenly, frustration working its way through his system. Lately it seemed as if sleep were determined to rebel him, and instead leave him with thoughts about someone he was rather determined to forget existed these days. Granted, it was hard to ignore someone who happened to be his best friend, but he tried regardless. It was either ignore him, or fantasize about him in ways that best friends shouldn't.
At that last thought, Sasuke bit back the urge to slap himself. The key was to not think about him. If he thought about him, he fantasized about him. If he fantasized about him, he felt like a disturbingly gay pervert. He really didn't need that at the moment. Especially when he had a short-tempered girlfriend who would pummel him instantly if she knew his thoughts.
In a desperate attempt for distraction he rolled over to face his alarm clock. Green numbers flashed 4:09 am into his tired dark eyes and he inwardly sighed with relief. He had work in two hours anyway. Scooting off the bed quietly as to not wake Sakura, he headed toward the bathroom to shower. The cool tile under his feet shook any leftover hopes of sleep out of his body, preparing him for the fact that he had made it to another day. Oh how lucky he was.
A regular day for him consisted of getting up, going to work (or school), meeting Sakura for lunch, working again, coming home, ordering take out (usually health food), waiting for Sakura to come home, and going to bed. He flinched as the hot water from the shower sprayed over his pale goose pimpled skin. He used to take showers with Sakura months ago, when she first moved in. It was nice to say the least. She always made him feel normal and calm, never minding how silent he liked to be and giving him space when he asked for it. Somehow though, during all the normalcy he was enjoying, things had calmed down into his every day schedule and it was suddenly as if they were just best friends again, only sharing the same bed.
He sighed as he lathered his head with shampoo. His relationship calming down wasn't the problem. It was that he was aware of it and didn't care at all. He still liked Sakura, and she was still with him, but shouldn't he care just the slightest that it was getting…boring? Something told him that he should, and that he needed to be making efforts to spark it up again, but another alarming realization was that he didn't want to. What was wrong with him? He almost dropped the soap when he remembered. The person he wasn't supposed to be thinking about. The person who made him doubt his sanity. The person who made his heart jump while Sakura only kept him at a steady beat. It was their fault. Naruto.
Rubbing the rest of the soap off in annoyance, he quickly stopped his train of thought there. He stopped the water and got out in a huff, snatching his towel from the rack violently. Normal thoughts. What was he doing today? Oh yes, internship under his guardian, Kakashi. He was determined to one day reinstate the firm his family had once run, but until than he was an intern. A lowly, annoying intern, as Kakashi so wonderfully reminded him every day. There, normal thoughts. It wasn't so hard.
Having dried off, he wrapped the towel around his waist and made his way toward the closet. He wasn't a fan of long sleeved shirts and ties, but unfortunately he wasn't allowed to come into work in an undershirt and boxers. Not that he would anyway, but if there was no one else there to see him that might possibly be an option. He slipped on said favored white undershirt and boxers and grimaced as he turned to his neatly pressed work clothes. He would enjoy his life so much more if he were as graced as the Subaku siblings or the Hyuuga cousins. They were taken into their family businesses immediately. Sasuke's easy future had died with his family, and all he could do was be thankful the person responsible was behind bars while getting coffee for his boss. Life sucked.
He tiptoed back across the room when he was done and made a beeline for the kitchen, or more specifically, the coffee pot. Caffeine was his addiction, and he was not ashamed. While he was waiting for the pot to fill, he went over to check his palm pilot that was, as always, charging on the counter. He could charge it in his bedroom like everyone else, but he didn't want to be held responsible for what happened to the person who dared to disturb his rare beauty sleep. And these days he really needed it. As expected he had no messages, so he went on to check the daily forecast. It was luck that he had the thing in the first place. One of his old friends decided they didn't want it anymore so he gladly offered to take it off their hands. That had been one of his luckier days. This one apparently was not. It was expected to rain that afternoon.
A few minutes later he found himself sulking on his loveseat sipping coffee, and looking around the small living room in boredom. Most of the things decorating the small apartment were Sakura's, since Sasuke never kept things for very long. For instance, the bookshelf against the wall on his right was hers. She put her medical and leisure reading books in it and managed to fill every shelf except for the center one. That one was strictly of photos of friends, and one of them was even his. It was the center one, adorned with a plain wood frame, but it was the most important. All of his childhood friends were in it and every time it caught his eye it make him smile a little, but more from the story behind it than anything.
It was taken the day before high school graduation in front of Kiba's vet van (that was really his mother's). They all thought it was a good idea to go for a night on the town and enjoy their last night of being high school students. Worst. Idea. Ever. The van smelled like dogs. Sakura and her best friend Ino wouldn't stop fighting over him. Someone accidentally gave Lee sake and most of the guys sported black eyes by the time he was sober again. Chouji ate all the snacks. Than truth or dare went horribly wrong when Sasuke was forced to jump into a freezing cold lake naked and even worse, when Naruto volunteered to go with him. Than Lee decided to jump in as well, followed by Kiba, and Chouji. To present day he couldn't figure outwhy they did it, other than the alcohol influence of course, but he was grateful that they did. Otherwise, he would have been in a very compromising situation with Naruto for certain.
Sasuke blinked away the memory and moved on. The night may have been hell, but graduation day was worse. They hadn't gotten much sleep, half of them were still drunk or hung over, and they were late to their own ceremony by fifteen minutes and were forced to sneak into their seats one by one. With their parents watching. Needless to say more than a few were grounded after that. But in the picture, before it all, he couldn't get over how carefree they looked. He, Shino, Neji, and Gaara were trying to look cool, Shikamaru was staring at the sky, Chouji was next to him eating slimjims, Narudobe and Kiba were squatting down in front making faces, Hinata was blushing like mad next to Neji, Sakura and Ino were fighting in the back, and Lee and TenTen were standing back-to-back making peace signs. Yeah, it was fun back than, before life decided to really suck. Too bad he couldn't do anything about it now.
He downed the last bit of his coffee in resignation. He had to head to work at last. After putting the cup in the sink, he crept back into the bedroom to warn Sakura the alarm would go off soon. If he didn't, he would end up having to buy a new one again. She mumbled randomly in her sleep and Sasuke felt guilty as he kissed her cheek. She had no idea what went on inside his mind and who he always thought of instead of her. She groaned at the light contact and made to swat him away. That was her way of saying, 'I'm awake now go away, I have bad morning breath.' He chuckled lightly before leaving the room again and heading toward the front door. Another day, indeed.
Author's Blab:So, this is my first story in a long time. I'm also proud to say that it is pre-finished so there won't be any worrying over me giving up half-way through. It's not going to be overly dramatic or long, just something to read whilst waiting for your other stories to update. I will post a new chapter every four days (twice a week) so be expecting it! Tata loves!
Before I Forget: I Don't own the Naruto series...at all...or the characters...or the song this was based from ('Fix You' by Coldplay).