I know that there isn't enough fanfic for DOGS, I am just here to give another contribution to it. It really should get its own category! By the way I don't own anything. XP In Badou's POV
DOGS Bullets & Carnage: Remember to Forget
I ran a finger along the back side of your hand; the skin was cold and dry, telling me you haven't been keeping yourself protected against the harsh weather.
It was so careless, and it was so you.
Your hand was cold against mine's. I had an urge to just let it go, just let you go too, all at the same time. But I didn't let your hand go and neither did you, our hands remained locked on to each other.
I didn't know why we were still holding on, I wanted to ask, but my voice didn't seem to be working and so I closed my mouth.
I never really understood you, and so reverse. I stared at you, your features remained the same, but yet it seemed different.
You seemed older.
A lot older than I remember, it must the work of time. Lines creased into your skin, you were no longer the child you and I once were. We grown up, we experienced what life was, and we definitely experienced what death was, especially you. Cheeks void of colors, hands drained of warmth, they reeked; they reeked of death and a warm metallic crimson blood that dripped everywhere.
It was their blood that still stings, it seems like I can never wash their blood off of my hands.
But that was the past and today was now. Now was the time that I was living in, it made no sense to try to understand the mistakes, no need to dwell on them because it was over, finally over. It would only be worst if you try to go back to search for something that may never have even been there in the first place.
I turn to you again, your face was blank, and your eyes were closed. You were only resting your eyes; you can never really sleep, can you?
You told me you can't stand the faces of those that you killed screaming in your dreams. I understand what you mean but I don't get it, maybe that's because I never really remember those times when I start to kill. My mind freezes in time and I have no control over my fingers even as they brush against the black metal.
I only act on instinct, when my smokes run out something in my brain clicks and I can feel as my hand crawl to my side and grab the gun. I pulled the trigger and they die, just like that. It makes you think how fragile life really is.
I think you have it worst than me though, I don't feel anything for those that I killed; maybe that's because I have an excuse to fall back on, I can always say it was the lack of smoke, the lack of nicotine that made me do it. And then I escape the guilt.
But you can't, you can never, each image is etched into your mind, you can never forget. The scenes you draw up are full of colors, so active, so full of details even as their blood pools on to the ground. You remember, you know, and you can't forget, that's why you walk around everyday, living in your memories, living in your guilt, living in a nightmare.
I reach over and brushed a strand of white from your pale cheeks, your eyes instantly snap open and send an intense glare my way, then your eyes soften as you realize it was just me.
"Haine?" I softly ask as your eye lids slide close again.
"What…" Your reply was coarse.
"When I thought the angel came, you would finally become alive." I commented and I really did believe in that. I wasn't speaking in riddles, I was rather straightforward.
"Nill?" You asked, your features were blank.
I fished out a cigarette from my pocket and placed it in between my lips. Lighting it with one hand, I saw the smoke slowly curling towards the graying sky. I took it from my lips and confirmed your question. "Yeah, her."
"When wasn't I alive?" You gave me a light chuckle as you continued. "I was always alive even without her."
I only looked at you as I exhale toxic smoke. The nicotine starts rushing through my veins. I gave a content sigh as I took another long drag at the burning cigarette.
"Wasn't she special?" I asked as I looked at the roof top we sat on. The gray tiles that layered the roof were cracked and dirty, some was even gone. I ran a finger along the edge where our legs dangled from, grimacing as I saw the dirt that now taint my finger tip. I gave a reminder to myself to wash my jacket after this.
"She was genetically engineered." You replied me. I really did think you two had some kind of connection, I tilted my head to the side as I part my lips just slightly the toxins slowly escape through my body as puffs of gray smoke that matched my surrounding.
"Just like you right?" I asked you with a thin smile on my lips.
"Yeah." A simple reply.
Silence fell upon our conversation and I looked over, your eyes are still close, long white lashes framed them.
"Why did you never ask about me?" You asked in a light tune.
I raised an eyebrow and replied. "I didn't want to die faster."
You chuckled at my answer; I was merely telling you the truth. "Would you ever want to know?" You asked again as you crack open an eye and stared at me with your dark eyes.
I shrugged, "if you want to tell me, I will listen." I looked at you, brushing a stray strand of flaming red from my face, I noticed that my hair was getting longer, maybe I should cut it… maybe not…
You closed your eyes again and leaned back on to the dirty tiles of the roof, I could only grimace as I saw the dirt slowly rubbing on to your form.
"Why do you always go around, living in your past and acting like you are possessed by your judgments?" I looked at you; your face was just like always etched deeply with a serious expression. You didn't nod but you didn't shake your head either, our aimless conversation came to an end.
I still added as my final judgment. "I think you would be just fine if you just forgot it all."
But I know you can never forget.
So I know you can never be fine, as long as you are being forced to live on in this dying underground city.
We sat in silent, me enjoying my smoke and you resting. I stared out at the plain city that stretched across my line of view; it was a pity how people say there used to be a sky full of blue. I couldn't help but laugh dryly at that. Who would ever believe such lies?
And then you suddenly sat up as you dropped my hand at the same time, you looked alarm. I just took a gaze around; I could see a few people walking around, two ladies with children at their heels and a man with a brown bag of groceries. I couldn't see anyone that could be of harm to the two of us.
"Haine—" You stopped me in mid sentence with a finger to my lip, you were cold, I couldn't help but shiver even as you pulled back.
I saw the way your nose twitched just slightly at the air; it was as if you just caught a whiff of something. You were concentrated as you attempted to find the origin of where this scent came from. You sniffed the air once more before laying back down to the tiled roof as if nothing happened at all.
"You reminded me of a dog." I said as I stared at the dirt under my finger nails.
"What color is the dog?" You replied casually.
"White." I replied as I looked right at you, tearing my gaze from my dirty nails.
"Just opposite to how I feel." Your voice was light, it seemed distant but I could see an amuse smirk on your face. I leaned over and lay a hand on your hair as I whispered into your ear. "How can you be a black dog when you clearly are white?" I asked you as my hand ran through your silky white strands.
You reached up and took my hand into yours. You brought my hand right up to your features and took a sniff. "Grim and dust from dirty roof top tiles." You replied as you ignored my question from before.
I couldn't help as an amused grin crawled on to my features. "As good as always, Haine." I reached over and gave him a tap on his nose.
You were staring at me with mirror like orbs, I couldn't see what you were thinking, I could only see what I was thinking being reflected off. You replied, smirk still on your pale face. "Thanks, Badou."
"No need, we are partners, aren't we?" You gave a small nod as you placed my hand over your lips; I could feel as your lips gently brushed against the palm of my hand. Your lips weren't as cold as I expected, in fact they were rather warm. Clasping your hand over mine's you lay both of our hands on your stomach just as you slide your lids close, I could see as your white lashes flutter.
I knew you were tired, who could sleep when every time they fall asleep all they see is blood, death, and murder. I would have gone insane if I was you.
But what can I say; you were always insane to begin with.
Let's hope later chapters of the manga won't contradict with what I just wrote XD And hopefully I kept them in character (there is definitely a higher chance that I didn't DX) Review?