Disclaimer: "The Pretender" and its characters don't belong to me they belong to TNT and NBC and are being used without permission. Please don't sue because I have no money.
I sit in my living room wondering why I just don't run away from it all. From the Centre, from my father's lies and from Jarod. Why don't I do what Jarod did not so long ago? Escaping from the Centre from the fate that is my life. Jarod said that only you could change the ending on the fateful day he was going to be taken back to the Centre. Everyone has a choice I think to myself. Jarod chose his when he escaped the Centre and started helping the little guy as I put it. Why can't I choose to leave like he did? Why do I choose to believe my father's lies? Why not open my eyes to how the Centre really is? Like Jarod wants me to. Why do I cling to the lies and brush off the truth?
Why can't I run away? Because of Jarod is one of my reasons not that I would ever tell him that. If I stay I will find ways to not catch him. I could see the pain and fright in his eyes when we were on Carthis when my father walked in with Raines and sweepers. He was afraid to go back. I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't put that look into my childhood friends face. I may push him away, but I still think of him as my friend even if he thinks I don't. If someone else were on his chase then maybe they would catch him and bring him back and make him do those simulations that he hates to do. Another is I can't leave Sydney and Broots by themselves in the Centre. The place would eat them alive if I left them on their own.
Why do I choose to believe the lies? Why can't I open my eyes to how the Centre really is? Oh, my eyes are open to the evil the Centre can do. I watched how they addicted Jarod to drugs, I saw them stop his heart and I saw them shoot a friend of his. I saw also what they did to Angelo who used to be a boy named Timmy and I saw what they did to the clone Gemini. I have to stay here to hopefully do something about it. I don't know what yet, but I want to do something. I want to make my mother proud of me not my father. I know he lies to me and it hurts, but for now I choose to ignore it because maybe if I ignore it, it will go away.