Gaijin[FFML][Fanfic][Sailor Moon]

A Sailor Moon Self-Insertion by Carrot Glace.

Part one: He who does not exist.


Sometimes people make wishes, foolish ones. In fact, all of us have made
some whishes that we would not really want granted. It's not because we're
foolish, or because we're overly optimistic. It's really quite simple; we
don't think things through completely.

The way of the world is really cruel and harsh as people often put it, but
most of the time, things work out for the greater good. Evil is hidden
away among things that we don't understand. Those who wish to wipe out
evil are dreamers. They don't understand the true nature of such forces.
Anger is often considered to be an evil force. However, sometimes anger
drives people to do what needs to be done. It's all a matter of
perspective. A killer walks into someone's home and threatens his family.
As a force in itself, anger would drive him to protect those he loved from
harm. Human nature doesn't consider the act of killing a threat to our
lives in such a way as evil.

However, our philosophy towards evil tells us that in fact, it is simply
choosing the lesser evil.

If the bombing of Pearl Harbor did not anger America, what then could have
been the outcome of the Second Great War? It is most likely that Germany
would have fallen anyway eventually. The Russian front having devastated
them as it had, there were many factors in their loss. Perhaps the
greatest being the American's entrance into the war in Europe.

There are things in the world that are purely evil...


Carrot strolled down the street in the middle of New York City. He'd come
there for little more reason than to visit an old friend. The meeting was
over, and it was time to return home.

He took a drag off of his cigarette and flicked it into the puddle at his
feet as he crossed the street in the night. It was around ten, and he was
in a quiet area of the city. Apartments loomed over his head, and there
was little activity. A cat moving around in the bushes or a little trash
blown through the steam that rose from the manhole covers that lead to the

His walk was purposeful, heading back to a street where he could catch a
cab back to his hotel. The restaurant he'd met his old friend at was just
a few blocks from one of the more busy streets in New York. It wasn't that
far, and despite the myths, the streets weren't as dangerous as movies and
television portrayed them as.

Something caught his eye and he turned to see a man standing in the middle
of the road in confusion. He glanced around for a moment and scowled as he
saw little that interested him.

Carrot ignored him, instead moving towards his destination with a calm

The man spoke to him in Japanese. "Where am I?"

"Eh?" said Carrot as he turned to face the man. He was young, in his
twenties, with short cut sandy blonde hair. His face was a hard scowl as
he glared back at the only other person in the street.

"You speak English?" asked Carrot as he nodded at him.

"What?" asked the man in Japanese.

Carrot sighed and switched languages. "I not speaking Japanese well," he

"You seem to know enough," said the man as he frowned at him. "Where am I

"New York," replied Carrot with a small shrug.

"Damn," snorted the man in reply. "That witch, she missed."

"Missed?" asked Carrot in confusion.

"How far am I from Tokyo?" asked the man as he frowned at him.

Carrot shifted his stance. He turned to face the man and frowned. "You is

"No. Tell me or I'll destroy you!"

"Be calm!" he replied as he backed away with his hands in front of him.
"You're on the other side of the world."

"Stupid..." grumbled the man as he turned away from Carrot and snorted.
"How can she be that bad?"

"I heard that," said a voice from all around them.

"Jeezus!" muttered Carrot in English as he whirled around. His long black
coat whipping through the air as he looked for the source of the sound.

"I'm correcting it now. Be wary Jadeite, I am watching you," said the

"Jadeite? What is this? Some kind of joke?" muttered Carrot irritably.
"What the hell is going on here?"

The strange man smirked at Carrot for a moment. "Goodbye foolish human."

Carrot covered his face as a light formed around him, blinding him
completely. Then, the world went dark.


Waking up in the street is, and always shall be, a real bitch. He pushed
himself up with his arms and coughed as he staggered to his feet. A
strange pain in his side alerted him immediately as he felt something
impact his side. Someone was speaking to him in Japanese and he staggered
to his feet, disoriented by the strike and the voice. "What?"

"Get the hell up punk!" snapped a voice.

"Who the hell?" he muttered.

"Americans, drunk in the street, eh kid?" snorted the police officer that
looked at him with a scowl on his face. He was an Asian man, and was still
using his native language.

"Come on kid. You're coming with me," said the man as he grabbed Carrot's
arm roughly and jerked him towards him.

"What? Where am I? Who are you?" asked Carrot as he continued to shield
his face from the sunlight of early morning. "What's going on here?"

"Stupid tourists. Think you can get drunk in the streets here?" snapped
the man angrily.

"I'm not drunk," muttered Carrot as he staggered for a moment under the
man's drink. "I think I just passed out."

The man twisted his arm roughly, forcing him to the ground. "Is that so
kid? You callin me a liar?"

"Could you speak English? I don't speak your language very well," said
Carrot as he found himself shoved against a wall.

"You understand well enough it seems," replied the man sharply as he
hooked one of the handcuffs onto his wrist.

Carrot blinked in alarm. "I'm being arrested?" he thought as he felt his
arm being twisted harder. "Wait! I..."

"You can talk about it at the station!" snarled the officer. He gasped as
the boy in his grip twisted suddenly, pushing off of his knee with the
back of his foot.

"No! I..." muttered Carrot as he escaped the man's grip and backed away.

The officer narrowed his eyes at the boy. "You'll regret that."

Then Carrot did the only thing he could, he ran.

The officer gave chase, moving through the alleyways and passages with
ease as he chased the boy down. Garbage cans were thrown into his path as
the boy desperately tried to find some bearing on where he was. He dove
through the cracks in fences and walls as he tried to escape desperately
through the dirty back alleys.

The officer was just behind him though, vaulting over the walls easily as
he ran after him.

Finally, Carrot saw his opportunity. A particularly tall chain link fence.
He dove between the opening, shoving the chain up a little to accommodate
him and rolled across the dirty wet ground before jumping to his feet
again. He rushed around a corner and into an open door, closing it behind
him; he simply sat in the darkness and waited, gasping for breath.

The officer made it to the fence and cursed as he looked down at the
opening, it was too small for him to fit through, and he'd have to climb
over the top of the ten-foot tall fence.


It was two hours before he dared to emerge. Pushing the door open he
walked out into the street and shielded his eyes from the sun once again.

"Where am I?" he muttered as he looked around in confusion.

It was completely ambiguous. Nothing more than a pile of trash bags and
brick walls. A common alleyway, if a bit smaller than those he was
familiar with. It seemed to be almost unnaturally narrow.

He looked down at himself for a moment and frowned. His coat tails were
dragging behind him, and he found himself staggering. Running the way he
had shouldn't have been as difficult as it had been. The pants seemed a
little too long, a few inches longer. The waist now hung
from his hips like a loose belt, threatening to fall away at any moment.

"What is this?" he mumbled as he fell to his knees in a nearby puddle. The
water was dirty, but it reflected back well enough. "Oh...oh no. This has
got to be some kind of weird dream..." he muttered as he put his hands to
his face and gasped.

Looking back at him, was his own face, but it appeared to be about
thirteen years old.

"Oh. Man..." he said in confusion. "Where the hell am I?"

He shook his head, trying to clear the false image away, but it remained
in the puddle. The stubble that had once been on his face was long gone.
"No way!"

He stood up, staggering once again as his head swam with emotion and pain.
Finally getting the nerve to move around after a moment, he started
walking towards the sounds of people, and cars.

Finally, he emerged and squinted as the morning sun shone in his face. He
pulled a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and put them onto his face
before looking around at the thousands of Asian people wandering the
street in front of him. All the signs were in Japanese, and he frowned
deeply. "I'm in Little Tokyo?"

He wandered out into the crowd and glanced around. It was too much, there
was no way. Television screens showed a Japanese newscast, everything was
in the language. The children, the people, everything.

He wasn't in America anymore.

Clutching his arms he simply continued to walk, not sure of where he was
going. "This has to be a dream!" he muttered to himself as the events of
the night before played through his head again. "It can't be real."
Finally, he found a quiet corner next to the stairs of an apartment
building and huddled down to simply sit in silence and watch the world
pass by around him. "Oh god..."

The night came quickly. Cold and harsh, the weather of the country showing
its ugly head as it rained lightly all around him, freezing his skin
despite the coat he wore. He wandered through the streets and slums of
Tokyo, not sure what to do, or where to go.

Finally, he looked up and saw a building. It was a temple in the middle of
the city. The gates were closed and a large wall surrounded it, but there
was some shelter to be found under the small overhang over the gate. He
huddled against the large wooden door in the corner and simply stared out
into space. Here he wouldn't be shooed away by angry shopkeepers at least.
He could probably remain until the rain stopped.

Slowly, he drifted off to sleep.


Morning came, and he found himself rudely awoken once again. Quickly
moving to his feet, he saw a man wearing the robes of a Shinto Priest
kicking him with a scowl on his face.

"What are you doing here? Have you no respect?" snarled the man.

"Sorry. Just waiting on rain stop," muttered Carrot. "Fall asleep."

The man's face fell a little and he waved his hand. "Well. It's stopped
now. You can leave."

"Sorry," replied Carrot with a short bow as he moved away.

"Damn gaijin," grumbled the man as he started to sweep away the leaves
that had accumulated over the course of the night.


Carrot scowled as he found himself sitting alone in an alley just out of
view of the street. In his hand was twenty American dollars, his wallet
was gone. The money he had now was something that he'd put in his pocket
rather than placing it inside his wallet.

"It probably fell out when that cop was chasing me," he muttered to

He sighed and stood up, clenching the rope around his waist a little
tighter, it was all he could find that might work as a belt since he'd
woken up. A few rusty nails served to hold his pants up away from his
heels enough so that he could walk comfortably.

"I'm alone, in a foreign country, with twenty dollars and absolutely no
identification," he muttered to himself. "It's cold, I'm hungry, and I..."
He looked down at his hands again. The hands that were far too young to be
his own.


Night fell once again, just as it always had in the past.


One year later...


The streets of Tokyo's marketplace were crowded with the mid-day rush.
Normal really, people went about their business, buying things at the
small stands. Fish were up for market as it was near the docks, sitting on
ice as vendors cut and handed out their wares to the shoppers.
It was busy, noisy, and perfect for him. He moved through the crowds
easily, weaving in and out as he passed through the unnoticing eyes of the
people that mobbed around him.

Moving by one of the stands, a few pieces of fruit vanished unnoticed by
anyone around him.

He was little more than a piece of dirt to them, clothed in brown rags as
he moved through the crowd like the dozens of others like him. Many of
them stole money, or food like him from the shoppers. He wasn't above
lifting a few items from a shopping bag if he got the opportunity. As it
was now, he vanished into the shadows of the alleyway. Politely ignored by
those around him as long as he didn't overstep his bounds. Not that they'd
notice if he did. He'd become quite good at that.

Others, some older, some younger moved about in the shadows around him,
ignoring him completely. Even to his peers he was beneath notice. A
foreigner, a nobody amongst the lowest form of life in Japan. A scant few
were considered lower than his place, Barakumin. They often lived like he
did now, but they were rare, as such smudges of honor were most often
hidden away from society these days. Not that he cared much.

Carrot sat down and started to eat what he'd stolen. He was older now, but
looked basically the same as before. It had been a rough year for him, and
it showed. His hair was a mess, his clothes long since gone and replaced
by the dirty garments he now wore. This was his life now, no money, and no
proof of his citizenship in any country. No one would help him, no one had
come for him. He was probably thought long dead by any he cared about. Too
young to find a job, and no identity to find one in the future. No one
wanted to hire a dirty young gaijin anyway. To put it simply, he no longer

He was alone in a city of millions.

Sitting in the corner he frowned at any that came near. Usually they gave
him clearance. No one cared about him, he was just another person in the

Things had gone on this way for a year now. Scraping enough food to get
buy, building his skills in thievery was difficult at first. He'd always
managed to escape though. Now he simply existed, hoping to become the
strongest fish in his little pond.

Stealing was a trial and error existence. At first he'd tried it in the
city itself, on the streets. He usually only stole food, money had no real
value to him. It was hard to buy things the way he was now. He smelled, he
was dirty, and he was an eyesore to any shopkeeper's store.

After a short time, he'd discovered that crowds make for the easiest
pickings. Places where people's attention was anywhere but him. With all
that went on in the marketplace, it was difficult to keep an eye out for
people like him. For the last eight months, he'd stayed fairly close to
the market.

He also knew what happened to those who got greedy. Having seen it enough
times. He'd usually steal a little tiny bit from several places, never
targeting one place with any regularity. The shopkeepers got smarter if
you did that. An apple here, a carrot there, maybe a cucumber at another
stand. He usually stole fruits and vegetables rather than meat. They were
easier to get his hands on, and they tended to last longer if he needed to
hoard some food away.

When he wasn't stealing, he was away from the place. Another lesson some
of the kids learned the hard way. The last thing he wanted was for people
to start recognizing him. It was especially bad with him, he looked
different than everyone else. Still, he'd gotten quite good at his trade,
no one noticed or even felt him when he passed by. Their bag got lighter,
but they never noticed that trivial weight.

So was his existence. "Man, this sucks," he grumbled to himself in
English. His Japanese had gotten better, but not much. He didn't
socialize, nor did anyone want to socialize with him.
He knew he'd have to move inland now, there was getting to be too many
faces around. That drew attention, something he'd come to despise.
As far as he was concerned, the Japanese people were racist bastards.
Unfortunately, he was stuck where he was.

He slid into the shadows as the sound of hard heeled shoes echoed through
the alley. "Cops." He said the word in a low growl.

Two men in uniforms passed by him, not seeing him despite the short
distance they were from him. As soon as they were gone, he grabbed a
nearby fire escape latter, and climbed up higher and higher. He moved
silently and tumbled onto the rooftop. It was a safe place, no one
bothered him.

He sat against one of the pipes and relaxed for a moment. With a rough
sounding snort, he stood up and began to perform a kata.

The art wasn't something he'd planned on developing. In fact it was more
of a necessity than anything else. He'd learned while in America, and used
it mainly as a recreational activity, never needing to take it seriously.
Now it was something he used to keep his skills sharp. It was kenpo, or
rather had been at one time. He'd mixed in a few techniques he'd picked up
while being beaten on in the streets, and some of the things he'd learned
about stealing as well. Some people did notice him, and it never went well
when the did. He'd been beaten up several times, but usually managed to
get something out of it. He had no illusions about being the best, or
caring about it really. It was just another means for survival, something
to keep his hands fast, and his feet silent. He referred to it as
Umisenken jokingly to himself.

Still, it was a little relaxing as well, something he didn't get much of
these days.

What he didn't know, was that him being on that rooftop, would forever
change his destiny.


"Villain! I won't allow you to trick young girls' hearts! On behalf of the
moon, you're punished!" Sailor Moon, defender of love and justice posed
proudly over the dark creature that stood over a fallen young girl in the
middle of a warehouse.

"So! You've finally arrived Sailor Moon!" said the creature as it turned
to face the girl and her friends.

The other four senshi stood behind their leader, posing proudly in the
moonlight, their features hidden by the shadows.

The youma was a ridiculous looking thing, it had a giant umbrella poking
from the top of its back, with a woman's torso attached to it. Its legs
were incredibly thin, and held close together to complete the appearance
of its umbrella like features.

"What the heck is that?" asked Sailor Mars in confusion.

"Why do these things always look so stupid?" grumbled Venus.

"Be careful, stupid looking or not, it's dangerous!" warned Mercury.

"Indeed! Foul weather needs an umbrella, but what is an umbrella without
foul weather?" snarled the creature as lightning bolts shot from the top
of the umbrella like thing over its head.

The senshi scrambled away, scurrying for cover behind the various wooden
boxes and crates in the warehouse. The lightning shattered whatever it
touched, including the ceiling. A huge hole was blasted in the roof, and
the thing jumped up outside.

"It's getting away!" cried Mercury.

"No! After it!" cried Sailor Mars as she pointed at a large stack of boxes
that could act like a set of stairs.


On the roof, the thing stood alone. Laughing maniacally as it watched the
senshi emerge from below. "So. You were foolish enough to follow me up
here were you?"

A light rain fell all around them, forming in large puddles along the
ground. The senshi strolled forward bravely as the thing seemed to float
just above the rooftop. "You'll regret coming up here Sailor Moon!"
snarled the creature.

"You're the one who's going to regret it!" retorted the girl angrily.

"Not so fast!" cried the creature as it raised its hands into the sky. A
bolt of power slammed into the rooftop from the clouds, and the girls
screamed in pain as the water at their feet became charged. They all fell
to their knees and struggled to rise.

A voice from overhead caught the monster's attention. "Hey. Catch."

"Huh?" said the thing in confusion as it snapped out with its hands and
grabbed what had been thrown to it. Gasping, it tried to throw the coil of
wire in its hand away, but it was too late. It hit one of the puddles and
the thing screamed in pain as it was electrocuted.
Sailor Moon looked up. "Tuxedo Mask?"

"Fraid not," said the figure that stood over them in dirty looking rags
with a frown on his face. He was standing on top of a small shed on the
roof, having taken cover there when everything had started.

"Who?" said Mars in confusion.

"You! You'll regret interfering!" snarled the beast as it finally managed
to drop the cable.

Carrot frowned at it and jumped into the air as another lightning bolt
struck where he had been standing. "You didn't give me much choice," he
muttered as he landed in front of it and lashed out with his fist.

The thing was thrown back by the blow and landed in one of the puddles.
Carrot narrowed his eyes and frowned as the thing stood itself up and
chuckled at him. "You'll die for this!"

"Can't be much worse than my life is now," he replied calmly as he lashed
out with a vicious kick.

The thing snarled at him and blocked the strike. "I'll take your energy!"

"No!" cried Sailor Moon in alarm as she started to recover.

"Not on your life!" cried Carrot as he ducked under the thing's draining
power and rolled forward, when he neared it, he kicked out with both feet.
The creature was thrown against the wall and the boy was thrown across the
gravel rather roughly.

The thing stood up again, growling angrily. "You're fast, but not fast
enough! You can't dodge this!"

Carrot pushed himself up and looked at the thing as it started to charge
another electric attack. He reached out with his hand, and felt his grip
close on something.

"What?" muttered the creature as he jumped to his feet and threw something
at her like a spear.

It was little more than a seven-foot piece of thin metal pipe, but it
served its purpose well. The thing screamed as it was impaled by the rod
and the lightning that shot down from the sky slammed into it instead of
her original target.

The monster screamed and was vaporized.

Carrot stood up, feeling the tingle of the power that had narrowly missed
him. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand and sighed. "This is
nuts. There's no way..." He turned to look at the senshi. They were all
standing up now, and looking at him in a sort of shocked awe.

"Who are you?" asked Sailor Mars with an angry frown on her face.

"Nobody, your little fight just barged into my place is all," he replied

"You shouldn't have done that! You could have been hurt! Or killed!"
gasped Sailor Moon. "We could have..."

"What have I got to live for? Do I look like a superhero to you?" he
replied calmly as he turned away from them.

"You could thank us!" snapped Sailor Jupiter. "We just..."

"You just nearly got me killed is what you did. I saved your asses,
remember?" snorted the boy in irritation as he started walking away.

"Sailor Moon! Are you all right?" cried a male voice as Tuxedo Mask
appeared out of nowhere.

"You know she is, you were watching the whole fight," replied Carrot
calmly as he jumped down onto the fire escape and left them.

"What a jerk!" cried Mars as she rushed over and saw him calmly walking
down the stairs to the street below.

"Who is he though?" asked Sailor Moon.

"Just some street trash," said Mamoru with a frown on his face.

"He smelled bad," commented Venus as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"They don't have baths on the streets, Minako," said Jupiter with an
unreadable look on her face.

"I kind of feel sorry for him, but he seems healthy enough," said Mercury
as looked in the direction the boy had gone.

"That's because he's probably good at stealing," snorted Mamoru. He turned
away from the women and jumped into the shadows. "There's nothing else to
see here, and this is a bad neighborhood. Our job here is done."

"Right," muttered Usagi uncomfortably as she watched the way the boy had
gone. "He's strong though. I've never seen anyone but us fight a Youma
that way."

"He was careless, and reckless," said Rei with a scowl on her face.

"What has a boy like that got to lose?" asked Makoto. "It's obvious he's
homeless. I'll bet he's either lost his family, or he was abandoned."

"That's so sad!" cried Usagi in shock.

"There's nothing we can do for him," said Ami quietly. "It's best to just
not think about it."

"Why are you still here?" said a familiar voice from behind them.

They all whirled around to see Carrot frowning at them.

"Get lost. This is my turf ladies," he said as he frowned at them.

"You again!?" gasped Makoto.

"I don't want your pity, and I don't need your help. I handled that
monster on my own thanks, and I don't need you around this area," he
replied coldly. "Get lost, all of you. You attract trouble like magnets."

"What? How dare you! We were protecting..." cried Makoto angrily.

"And just how many of these youma plots have you ladies stumbled across by
chance? Are you coming to them, or are they coming to you?" he replied as
he frowned at them.

Ami blinked. "He's right."

"Look. I'm sorry if we've upset you, but..." started Makoto.

"I said leave!" he snapped angrily as lighting struck in the sky behind

The girls backed away, and silently jumped off the roof and vanished into
the city.

"Damn it," growled Carrot as he watched them go. "Stupid girls. I don't
need this."

He sighed and relaxed against the wall. The Youma hadn't been all that
hard to get rid of, but those girls proved one thing that he had suspected
for some time. No one was looking for him, or ever was. At least, not in
this place. He was in another world now, a place where the Sailor Senshi
were real.

"Damn." He sat up and looked at his hands for a moment. Finally, he stood
up and staggered back to the fire escape once again. A small smirk formed
on his lips as he pulled a small expensive looking watch from his sleeve.
He put it back into the folds of his clothes and jumped into the shadows.


Mamoru frowned as he took off his tuxedo jacket and sat down on his bed.
He sighed and sat back on his bed. The man wasn't familiar to him, in this
time or the past, that much he knew. "It shouldn't be possible for a
normal man to fight off Youma that way." He frowned and tried to think
about it.

Nothing came to him. There were possibilities; that he was the enemy, or
perhaps some fragment of the past he didn't know about. Either one was
entirely possible. Then there was the other possibility, that he was
something entirely new.

Not getting anywhere with that, he reached for the watch inside his shirt
pocket. He felt around for a moment and frowned. He knew it was there.
"Wait a minute..." He sat up with his eyes wide with shock. "That little

The image of the boy passing close to him on the rooftop played in his
mind. He had felt nothing, well other than the strong odor the boy put

"Thieving little punk!" growled Mamoru in frustration.

Finally, he sighed and lay back on his mattress. There was nothing he
could do about it now, it would just have to wait.


In the night, over the docks, Carrot stood watching the ground below from
the rooftops. It was time to leave, find somewhere else to go. There was
too much going on down there now, to many little thieves looking for an
easy score.

He frowned as he thought about where to go. It would obviously be best to
avoid Juban. He'd be better off in Shinjuku, or someplace equally busy.
He sighed and jumped down onto the fire escape that led to the street.
He'd find a good place to score a few meals soon enough.


Usagi frowned as she lay on her back on her bed and looked at the ceiling.
The boy's face played in her mind, it was dirty, his hair matted on his
head from the rain. He was really quite disgusting looking. The dark brown
rags he wore did little for his appearance. The smell was awful too.
Still, something bothered her, she felt sorry for him. He was strong,
confident, and very unfriendly.

"I wonder what could have made him that way?" she wondered out loud.
Rolling over to her side she tried to push the thoughts away, but they
still bugged her a bit.

"He might be pretty cute if he was cleaned up a bit," she muttered to
herself. She snickered to herself at the thought of Makoto telling her
that her old Sempai looked like him.

She shifted again, putting her arms behind her head and moving onto her
back once again. "We never got his name either. I wonder if he's from the
Silver Millenium too?" Her brow furrowed at the thought. "No. I don't
think so. At least, not that I remember."

Finally settling on her belly she squeezed her pillow and shoved her cheek
into it. "I know we'll meet again though. That boy, there was something
odd about him."


A week later...

Carrot stood in another alleyway with a few fruits in his hand. He'd
actually managed to get his hands on a few rolls as well. He simply ate
silently, hidden away in the shadows.

He paused when two sets of legs appeared in his line of sight. They were
slacks, both dark and clean, and they were facing him.

"You must be new around here," said one of the men who stood over him.

"That's right," said Carrot quietly. "Can I help you? If not, I'd like to
be left alone."

"Well, since you're new, you don't know there's a tax for working around
here," said one of the men.

Carrot looked up to see two young men, both were in their late teens or
early twenties. It was difficult to tell.

"I don't have any money. I only steal food," he replied calmly. "If you
want a cut of that, you can have it." He held out a banana to them calmly.
One of the men frowned at this and shoved it aside.

"No thanks. If you want to stay here, you're gonna have to start making it
worth our while to let you hang around."

Neither one of them had touched him yet he'd noticed, probably too
repulsed to try.

"I guess I'll leave then," he said calmly.

"Not so fast, you still gotta pay us for what you took today," said one of
the men as he held his hand out, but didn't touch him.

Carrot frowned at this and looked up at them. "I already offered, but you

"Well, we aren't interested in food punk," said the other man from behind
the one blocking his path.

Carrot noticed a tattoo on the man stopping his escape's hand. He frowned
and looked up at them. "Why would a Yakuza even bother with trash like me?
Aren't I beneath your notice?"

"I like to get in touch with the community. Two thousand Yen, tonight, if
you don't have it, I'll take your fingers off for stealing."

Carrot snorted at this. "Take them now, if you can."

"What?" said the man in shock.

"I'm through playing with you, I've tried to be nice, now you're starting
to piss me off," said the angry looking kid in front of them.

"You little punk!" snarled the man as he raised his fist.

Carrot simply stepped forward and shoved with his hand. The man was thrown
back into the wall opposite them and his companion charged forward.
This time, something inside him snapped. He wasn't sure what it was, but
it was more than enough to break him. Carrot simply stepped back from
where he was and reached out to grab the man's elbow. With a grunt of
effort, he dislocated the man's joint with a casual looking twist of his

The man started screaming as he fell to his knees and clutched the injured
arm. Carrot merely raised his knee up sharply, catching the man in his
face and sending him to the ground out cold.

The first man growled at this and backed away. "I'll get you for this!" He
started to turn and run, only to find Carrot standing directly in his

"How did you?" he muttered in horror.

"I jumped," replied Carrot calmly. "Now. I don't think you, or any of your
friends are going to bother me anymore. Next time, it'll be your neck,
instead of his elbow."

"You don't know who you're dealing with!" snarled the man angrily.

"Yakuza, Hisami faction," said Carrot as he grabbed the man's hand and
pulled his wrist out a little more to reveal the tattoo. "You're obviously
a little nobody in the clan, hoping to move up one day. It would be a
greater shame to reveal that you'd been beaten by a nobody like me, than
it would be for you to simply keep quiet and forget all about this."

The man frowned at this, the boy was right.

"I learned a lot living like I do on the streets. Don't look so surprised.
Just go away now, and you won't get hurt. Don't bother looking for me
again, you won't find me." Carrot turned away and melted into the shadows.

The man staggered back in horror as the boy seemed to melt into the
shadows. "Shinobi!" He gasped and fell over a pile of garbage.

Hidden just above them, in the shadow of a small corner. Carrot clung to
the wall and looked down at them. His scowl deepening a bit. "Am I a
ninja?" He pondered for a moment. He doubted if he could be called a true
ninja. A real one could probably put his skill in things like this to
shame. Still, if the man wanted to believe that, it was fine by him.
The pair wandered out of the alley and into the street, leaving him alone
once again. He sighed with relief and climbed back down the corner onto
the pavement again.

He smirked and walked away as well, his step a little lighter as he moved
into the crowd once more, blending in, and vanishing.


Morning in Tokyo, a silent mob moved below him in the street. He simply
watched as they moved about their day from a leather chair. His face
little more than a cold frown. "Shinobi?"

"It seems that way, a gaijin too," said the tall young man who stood
rigidly next to him. "They think we don't know."

"They are of little consequence," said the figure sitting in the chair
calmly. "Where is he now?"

"We don't know, he is quite skilled, and we are unable to track him," said
the man calmly.

"Do we not employ our own shinobi?" asked the man as he turned in his
chair and frowned at him. He was old, a grizzly looking fat man.

"They were unable to trail him. His skill is beyond exceptional," said the
man as calmly as ever.

"What is it that he wants?" asked the old man as he frowned at his

"We aren't sure, he's left no sign or marking signifying whom he works
for," said the young man as he put a photo on the desk in front of him.
It was of a small brown blur. The old man frowned at him. "What is this?"

"The only photo we were able to procure," said the man as he shoved his
glasses up his nose a bit.

"We must find out what he wants, and who he is working for," said the old
man. "We need to be rid of this pest. Now!"

"I am working on it, but this is not a problem that will be resolved
easily. It is obvious this one does not want to be found, and he won't be
until he does."

The old man sighed uncomfortably. "So we wait for him to show his hand?"

"There is little else we can do. I will do my best to find him of course,
but I warn you now, that it will most likely be fruitless. Especially if
our own oi-shinobi cannot find him."

The old man nodded and frowned at this. "I see."

"I'll get to work then sir," said the small man as he bowed and backed


Carrot sighed as he sat on the rooftop of a small apartment building.
There were clotheslines hung about, they were all empty, and would be
until the morning came, so he was relatively safe where he was for the

He leaned back and sighed with contentment as he looked up at the sky and
smirked to himself. Things had been going rather well recently. He was
finding enough to eat, and the heat ducts from the buildings were giving
him enough warmth to push back the cold nights. Soon it would be summer
again, and he wouldn't have to worry about that for a few months, as it
stood now though, he was content.

Alas, things like that can never last long.

He sat up suddenly as he found himself looking at a shadowy figure. It
appeared to be human for the most part, but wasn't quite right. The arms
were far too long, and the hands were massive cartoon gloves. As it
stepped into the light, he saw that it was grinning at him with a massive
set of fangs. Obviously female, but disgustingly proportioned. It sneered
at him and slowly lumbered forward.

"What the hell is this?" he muttered to himself as he backed away.



Just an idea I felt like writing down. I'd just noticed that in most self-insertions, everything seems to go well. They find jobs, homes, food, and shelter, all of it with no problem. That struck me as kind of odd.

A shinobi is a Ninja, and an oi-shinobi is a ninja pursuer.