To Dream a Little Dream
My head is tossing side to side as you move back and forth on my flushed and sweaty body. I tangle my fingers in your silken flaming hair. The tension builds and builds leaving me breathless as our bodies move faster striving to reach release. My hands grip and pull your hair when you lean down and lick my neck. That was the little extra that I needed and I suffer a momentary blindness, feeling a warm slickness fill me. I'm lost in the power and scream out your name as I've find nirvana….
Damn… my eyes snap open. It's happened again. That same dream every night since I met you. It's like a disease has taken control of me. I groan when I realize that I'm hard and need to complete what that fucking dream started. I despise that you've done this to me. I can see you laughing at the state my body is in. I've tried everything I can think of to get you out of my system. The motion of my hand is a dead give away that I've failed miserably. I learned the hard way to keep a tube of lubricant at my bedside. You've infected me. Damn you. My solitary anguish at last relieved for the moment. Damn you to every bloody hell there is.
What will be my salvation for these cravings? Do I follow my body's calling? I need to banish these thoughts from my body. I hate loosing control of something so powerful. Were it just a demon or crooked human I could take out my frustration by killing them slowly. But no it has to be you…you with the luscious locks of red silk, or the fire in your gemlike ruby eyes.
I long to look into the depths of those eyes as they glimmer with heated want and pure desire.
Oh god I want you. Do you feel the same? Or will you laugh in my face telling me what a pathetic looser I really am.
The feel of your skin and hair as you mark me as yours. I've fantasized what that would be like. Would you be soft and gentle or strong and rough? Which way do I want you? I can't decide now.
Shit it's happened again. I feel the uncomfortable tightness of my jeans with all the self debate about you. Why are you under my skin, in my every thought? You annoy the hell out of me yet you are all I can think of.
I imagine what those strong arms feel like wrapped around me. What that solid muscled torso would feel like to rest my head on at night. Would your hands be warm? Would our legs tangle together under the sheets? What would your hair look like spread over a pillow? Do you snore? Suck your thumb? Walk or talk in your sleep? Would you hold me close and whisper your desires into my ears. Would you buy gifts just because you feel like? Oh dear god I've got to stop thinking like this or I'll be forever hard. As it is I'm so very grateful that my robes cover a multitude of "problems". I'm gonna have to find out soon for I'm not getting a whole lot of sleep because of those damn vivid dreams. I make a growling sound deep down to my very soul. Maybe if I meditate for a bit…but no when I try it that damn ape comes along and is yakking at 100miles per hour. So I have to figure something else out. I told everyone I wanted peace and quiet this time and what happens…arg that brat is a menace to my sanity. Much like you.
The life of a Sanzo priest is all I know. I think the people in charge would frown on any kind of physical life. Oh this is all so frustrating. Why can't I stop thinking of you and what you'd be like in bed? I swear to god I'll beat it out of my head if at all possible.
I've got to get it out of my system. And I come to realize there is only one way to do it. That is confronting it head on. Damn it why am I shivering? Fear or anticipation.