Disclaimer: In this story or any other I write Joss owns all characters and everything in Buffyverse. Sadly I own nothing.
Setting: Post Chosen & Set during ATS Season 5 from "Conviction", AU
Note: Wow! Now this is my second fanfiction, so I am still a little new at this. Please review and tell me what you like or what you want to see. Quotes are from "Chosen" and "Conviction"
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Chapter 1: That Perfect Moment
The Night Before:
Buffy descended down the stairs, tomorrow was the big day. She was nervous, yet somehow relived. By, tomorrow, it could be over. By tomorrow, she wouldn't be the only one, she could do normal things. She had thought about it for awhile. But, before she could do that, there was just one thing she had to do.
She saw Spike. He was wearing his usual black on black, although the duster was missing. Clutched in his hand was the sparkling amulet. Spike noticed her and stood up. His intense blue eyes met her green ones. They stayed like that for a moment just admiring one another. The world faded away like this.
Spike broke the gaze, "What brings you to this neck of the woods luv. You should be with the Scoobies talkin bout battle plans and strategy."
Buffy crossed her arms and moved forward, there was now only a few feet between them. "I am where I need to be. Spike, can I ask you something?"
Buffy took a deep breath, "Do you still love me?"
Spike was taken aback. For awhile no they were on mutual grounds, but lately they have been getting closer. Their friendship was strong, and the trust was there. He figured that is what they will always be, friends. But, even Spike could not deny the connection; there was something more coming toward the surface.
"You know, that I never stopped." Spike gave her a look of such love and passion. That is what he always done. He so freely showed his emotions to all those who took the time to see. "What does this have to do with everything?"
"I just wanted to know just in case one of us….didn't make it." It was more than a want, Buffy needed to know.
Spike lifted her chin with his hand so he was staring straight at her. "Don't talk like that. You are going to get through this just like you always do, you are going to grow up, start a family, and live happily ever after whatever that is supposed to mean. And I will love you ever second that you're alive, and twice as much for every second that you're not."
Buffy smiled, and Spike followed. "Spike-I…." Buffy paused for a few seconds. "Spike, thank you." It wasn't what she meant to stay, but for now it will have to do.
Spike's hope dropped a little. He could have sworn she was going to say those three words that he had been dying to her come out of her mouth to him.
"I answered your question. Go spend the last night with your friends and the bit, talking bout tomorrow and such. I will be here if you need me." Spike turned to head back to the cot, but a strong arm stopped him.
Spike turned to face Buffy who had a small smile on her face. "That's why I am here. Because tonight, like every night, I need you." Before he could react Buffy took his face in her hands and kissed him with such passion. The kiss ended when he broke it off.
Both were breathing heavily. "Buffy, I can't"
She was confused, he just said he loved her, and yet he didn't want her?
Spike caught her look. "It's not that I don't want to it is just…god I am such a bloody wanker. I have been thinking about this since forever Buffy. But, it isn't the right time. I love you. Always will and I know that last year is in the past. We both did things we wish we hadn't. I just can't do it. Not now, at this time. I want to know that you really mean it. That this is what you really want, not just because we might die or the whole world will be sucked to hell. I want to know that you are kissing me just because you can. No matter if you meant it or not, I am going to tell you that you don't want me, and I am going to keep saying such, till this bloody apocalypse is over, and you can say it, not because you feel like you have to before it's too late, but because it is just the right moment."
The Day After
"I mean it! I gotta do this."Spike held out his hand to stop her. What she did next even shocked her. Buffy laces her fingers through Spike's, and they burst into flame together. The flame stung, yet it did not burn. It was a connection. Both Spike and Buffy had never before felt this close. It was as if their souls merged into one.
Buffy softly, looked into his eyes," I love you." She had said it. After so long of waiting and wanting she said it, but she could help feeling like she did it too late, as she knew that if she left, no one would be behind her, following.
"No, you don't. But thanks for saying it."Another earthquake shook, the school breaking them apart. The loss that Buffy felt was like nothing she had felt before. Part of it was from the broken connection, but part was for the fact that she knew that this would be the last time she got to see him, and she blew it. She knew that some part of him might have believed that she really did love him, but the other, was telling him it was just because he was going to die.
They would never have that perfect moment, and he would never truly know. Buffy took one long last glance at Spike, and stared deep into his blue eyes.
"GO!!! There waiting for you, now run. There's still time." Spike's voice was filled with panic.
"You might not believe it now Spike, but I do. I really really do love you, and I am not leaving you until you get that. Without you I die, and I prefer to die and spend an eternity with you, then spend a day alive without you." Buffy kissed Spike with such passion, that the noise and destruction faded into nothingness as they were both consumed by love and a blazing fire, forever connected, and finally the blinding light faded, and all that was left was a crater and ash, with the survivors looking in.
Nineteen Days Later
Angel rubbed his chin, "Yes, we are. We're gonna change things. We came to Wolfram and Hart because it's a powerful weapon." He picked up a golden envelope from his desk and rips it open as he continues to speak, "We'll deal," the amulet falls to the floor, "with whatever comes next."
The amulet began to shake and all those present in the room watched on as a black whirlwind erupts sending papers and documents around. Golden auburn fleck began to appear and swirl as the image of two skeletons formed, slowly materializing gradually till complete. The whirlwind stops and all that remains are Spike and Buffy.
Spike doubles over in pain, yet not once did his hand leave Buffy's. Both look around at the unfamiliar faces and room.
The gang are at loss for words. Both looking on at the two new forms in the room.
Spike begins to snarl and goes in game face and dives for Angel, breaking free of Buffy's hand. Angel prepares himself for the impact, yet none comes.
Spike quickly shifts out of game face and looks down at his legs, which are now in the middle of the desk. "Bugger."
"Spike?" Buffy rushes past everyone and looks on. "Oh God."
"What the bloody hell!!! What happened to me?"
Angel and the gang looked on still in shock.
Angel looked at his ex, "Buffy?" and then growls as he sees , "Spike!"
"Dear Lord, William the Bloody and the slayer?" Wesley was confused but clearly not as confused as the others except Harmony.
"Are you serious. Him with her. Can anyone say EW! If you need me I will be at my desk." Harmony turned at walked out the door.
"YOU!" Everyone's head looked down at the petite blonde, even Spike, who was staring at his hand in fascination as he moved it through objects. Buffy marched over to Angel. "YOU GAVE US THE AMULET! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Buffy went to go slap Angel, but instead her hand simply went through.
Buffy looked down at her hand and back at Spike and pouted, "This is no fun."
"Welcome to the club, luv."
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